The Evil of Dating (Dating vs.Courtship)

Lewrockwell.com ^ | September 7, 2002 | Heather M. Carson

[rwfromkansas]

Well, this was a private college.

Resident Assistants, at least at my private college, are there for advice, solving roommate issues, making sure the hall runs smoothly, etc.

[sonserae]

I have a similar experience to you. You can't change other
people but you can find out what it is about you that is
attracted to people like that....even if there are no visible signs...You may be drawn to their "shadow"..some unhealthy part of yourself that is attracted to the unhealthy. Since you have been the only "constant" in the situation, it's time to look at that. I went to counseling to try and prevent from being attracted to unhealthy people. I learned a lot about myself and also was able to see red flags immediately versus being ignorant and naive. Naivite is cute when you are 5 but it's very ugly when you are a grown adult and trying to have
discernment in dating and marriage. Find everything out about yourself and your past and soon the hidden messages of those you meet will be revealed in that as well. It works.

[Cogadh na Sith]

I'm 35. I was laid-off early in my 2nd marriage and did the responsible thing and waited to have kids. She stood by me. 2 years later, we couldn't have kids because she was on so many mood drugs that it wasn't safe. I stood by her...

Until she called the cops on me and shacked up with someone else. Her mom even tells me: "I'm so sorry, I don't know what happened to my girl..."

[Pahuanui]

Dating was something invented by the lower classes, as they did not have parlors for visitations like the rich people did.

"Invented"? Yeah. Ok. That's one utterly oversimplified way of mischaracterizing numerous influences and sociological phenomena that effected it.

Has caused nothing but severe emotional distress for our nation's youth. Not surprised at all by the illegitimacy and divorce rates once I understood this basic evil.

Perhaps the Victorians had it right when they understood that the lower classes should mind and try to emulate their 'betters"?

[rwfromkansas]

So you don't think guys drop girls and pursue others?

Come on.

Yes, the article could have focuses on girls who leave guys to get other sugardaddies with more money etc., but I am not offended in the slightest by your perceived "feminist" slant in the article. I don't think that is her intent.

[Cogadh na Sith]

You can't change other people but you can find out what it is about you that is attracted to people like that....even if there are no visible signs...You may be drawn to their "shadow"..some unhealthy part of yourself that is attracted to the unhealthy.

Yeah, that's my point--they were both nice looking, conservative, Godly women from good families. Tell me Karnak, what features shall I look for now? Homely crack whores?

I don't buy that dopey new-age crap. 'Sides, how do you account for mental illness in the case of the second?

[ohioWfan]

My sons are Christians. They are following God's laws by their own choice.....and those laws, made out of God's love for His children, require marriage......legal marriage......for a couple to have sex.

I'm sorry that your experience has embittered you......and I'm not surprised that it has. What was done to you stinks, and the women you married will be held accountable before a Holy God for what they did to you.

But that doesn't change the fact that those laws are there, and if one is to be obedient to the Lord, there is to be no sex outside of marriage. Period.

[sonserae]

I'm really sorry...but when you do meet that great girl who has the morals/ethics/character you do, you will appreciate her all the more. If you lower your standards, you will attract lower standards. Keep your standards high, get emotionally healthy and you will attract the same. You will attract what you project.

[Cogadh na Sith]

and those laws, made out of God's love for His children, require marriage......legal marriage......for a couple to have sex.

And God's legal marriage requires that Notary Public stamp on a document that allows me to be subjected to the man-hating, liberal, un-holy, un-Godly state legislature that allows abortion and had a Shaman (no kidding) bless their proceedings?

Something isn't right here....

[opus86]

Just to clarify, it isn't my definition. It's merely a definition/method I heard. The whole parental permission thing is a big vague to me, and I'm not sure how it would work with today's 18+ age group.

To me courting isn't one single formula, it's the approach of taking things slowly, holding off on the physical affection, accepting guidance from people who've been there, being responsible. What can be damaging about "dating" (as it is generally accepted today) is when someone jumps into a romance with every person they date, a la "Beverly Hills 90210".

I would add that if my girlfriend's father (presumeably someone in good relationship with her) told me he didn't like me seeing his daughter, I'm outta there. To me it would not be worth the trouble.

[sonserae]

There are a lot of "Godly Christians" who give the illusion
of being okay...but they are posers putting on an act giving
the impression to others that they have no problems. What happens is that they finally "BREAK" because this whole time they weren't allowing themselves to be "human"...We as Christians must not have our churches be a place where we have to be "perfect" to attend. We need it to be a place where we are "REAL" and admit to our weaknesses, emotions and thoughts and openly help each other to deal with them in a healthy way. You need to find a Christian woman that is REAL.

[Cogadh na Sith]

But that doesn't change the fact that those laws are there, and if one is to be obedient to the Lord, there is to be no sex outside of marriage. Period.

and to be a 'marriage', I have to have a document ratified by an official of a government that threw God out of the schools and encourages abortions? Something is not adding up.

What if the notary public is a lesbian wiccan, do I still have to have her stamp to have God recognize my 'marriage'?

[ohioWfan]

God requires that we follow the laws of the land, unless they oppose HIS laws.

It doesn't matter if your feelings are hurt and you're mad......even if you have a right to be hurt and mad. It doesn't change the truth.

The only sex in accordance with God's laws is between a man and a woman in marriage.

The shaman and the abortion are irrelevant to the discussion.

[ohioWfan]

You're grasping chookter. It looks like any meaningful discussion is over.

[Drew68]

Might as well have fun while you're young.

I agree. Chastity is overrated. I'd rather date someone who knows what the hell she's doing under the sheets than a bleeder who cries after sex.

[Cogadh na Sith]

God requires that we follow the laws of the land, unless they oppose HIS laws.

It is my fervent belief as a Christian that the secular laws governing Marriage do oppose HIS laws. Look into it and you will agree as well.

The only sex in accordance with God's laws is between a man and a woman in marriage.

What does that have to do with getting a license stamped by the lesbian wiccan down at the courthouse?

[rwfromkansas]

I am kind of ashamed to admit it, because I think masturbation is a sin (please nobody throw stones at me...lol), but gosh that graphic cracks me up. I just see that kitten trying to "escape" the monsters and I just have to chuckle.

[NittanyLion]

I have never ever ever heard of a college student who sought out their Resident Advisor for help with sexual decisions. I thought they were just there to sneak beer past.

Or ideally, to drink beer with.

[Cogadh na Sith]

It looks like any meaningful discussion is over.

Yeah, just like my two marriages, my belief in Marriage, my retirement, my trust in women and my trust in the 'fairness of the law'.

It hasn't changed my belief in God or the justness of his laws.

[GreatOne]

I apologize for not having the time to write a 5 page treatise for you to "prove" my "oversimplification". Surely you have some to demonstrate how I am "mischaracterizing numerous influences and socialogical phenomena", and what those influences and phenomena are (or, at the very least, where I read about it).

Regards.