India: Drumer accuses eunuchs of cutting off his...er, you-know-what

New.Com.AU ^ | July 25, 2003 | staff writer

[yankeedame]

Man: eunuchs severed my penis

From correspondents in Shimla, India

July 24, 2003

AN Indian villager who once played drums with a travelling band of eunuchs has accused his former companions of drugging him and cutting off his penis, police said today.

An Indian villager who once played drums with a travelling band of eunuchs has accused his former companions of drugging him and cutting off his penis, police said today.

Sonu, a 21-year-old from the northern state of Himachal Pradesh, said he was persuaded this week to head to the industrial city of Ludhiana in neighbouring Punjab state with two eunuchs.

"I was given tranquilisers in my food and once I fell unconscious crude surgery was carried out to remove my penis," said Sonu in a complaint filed to police yesterday.

He said he was taken south to Agra, home of the celebrated monument to love, the Taj Mahal, where he regained his senses and learned to his horror that his penis was missing.

The deputy superintendent of police for Kangra in Himachal Pradesh, Vimukt Ranjan, said police were investigating the motives for the alleged maiming.

Sonu – a member of Hinduism's lowest caste the Dalits, earlier known as untouchables – said he had roamed the Kangra Valley with eunuchs for two years playing drums.

Eunuchs in India are ostracised by their families and earn their living by entertaining weddings and other parties or by prostitution or begging.

Most Indian eunuchs are not actually castrated but have been marginalised since birth because of their ambiguous gender.

Agence France-Presse

[laweeks]

Well, he's in good company with Alan Alda and Phil Donahue.

[EggsAckley]

Most Indian eunuchs are not actually castrated but have been marginalised since birth because of their ambiguous gender.

HUH?!?

[Riley]

I feel a Unix joke coming on...

[nevergore]

I always wondered where Janet Reno was originally from.....

NeverGore :^)

[dead]

Detachable Penis
by King Missle

I woke up this morning with a bad hangover,
and my penis was missing again.
This happens all the time.
It's detachable.
This comes in handy a lot of the time.
I can leave it home when I think it's going to get me in trouble,
or I can rent it out when I don't need it.
But now and then I go to a party,
get drunk,
and the next morning I can't for the life of me
rememberwhat I did with it.
First I looked around my apartment
and I couldn't find it,
so I called up the place where the party was,
they hadn't seen it either.
I asked them to check the medicine cabinet
coz for some reason,
I leave it there sometimes,
but not this time.
So I told them if it pops up
to let me know.
I called a few people who were at the party,
but they were no help either.
I was starting to get desperate.
I really don't like being without my penis for too long.
It makes me feel like less of a man
and I really hate to have to sit down every time I take a leak.
After a few hours of searching the house
and calling everyone I could think of,
I was starting to get very depressed,
so I went to the Kiev and ate breakfast.
Then as I walked down Second Avenue toward St. Mark's Place,
where all those people sell used books and other junk on the street,
I saw my penis lying on a blanket next to a broken toaster oven.
Some guy was selling it.
I had to buy it off him.
He wanted 22 bucks,
but I talked him down to 17.
I took it home,
washed it off,
and put it back on.
I was happy again.
Complete.
People sometimes tell me I should get it permanently attached,
but I don't know. Even though sometimes it's a pain in the ass,
I like having a detachable penis.

[mhking]

He stopped at the Slawson cutoff and cut off his Slawson...

HMB/Bizarre PING....

If you want on or off this list, FReepmail me!

FYI: This has fast outgrown it's original "charter" and become a home for the truly bizarre. An alternative saying/phrasiology is being sought (and suggestions are very welcome!). Also, like it's "cousin list" the B/C list, it has become a high-volume list.

---

I'm leaning toward "Just damn," on the suggestion of quite a few folks. I won't make a decision until Sunday. (And thanks to all of you for sending your suggestions!)

[JohnnyZ]

They cut off his drumstick? And bells?

[Only1choice____Freedom]

Sonu, a 21-year-old from the northern state of Himachal Pradesh, said he was persuaded this week to head to the industrial city of Ludhiana in neighbouring Punjab state with two eunuchs.

Not to self - never, NEVER go to Punjab with eunichs no matter what they say!

[Lee Heggy]

I've heard of similar pranks played in other touring bands. What a bunch of joksters!

[mountaineer]

A certain impeached ex-president may want to rethink his upcoming trip to India.

[thoughtomator]

He should have known something was up when they signed Lorena Bobbitt to a 3-year contract!

[Gorzaloon]

I wonder if this person has an e-mail address.

Because I get about five spams a day that could help him.

[big_Rob]

This should serve as a warning to those who would go drumming with eunichs !!!

[Damagro]

Lay down with dogs, wake up with fleas. Lay down with eunuchs wake up without...

[ClearCase_guy]

find . -name "*penis*" -print || print "AAAAAAARRGGGG!"

[JennysCool]

He stopped at the Slawson cutoff and cut off his Slawson...

Art Fern rules. I miss him.

[cake_crumb]

"Most Indian eunuchs are not actually castrated but have been marginalised since birth because of their ambiguous gender"

S-U-R-E.

Sounds like a bit of premptive CYA because the OBVIOUS question is: WHY are their eunuchs in an allegedly modern, free, civilized country like India to begin with?

[cake_crumb]

"Sonu – a member of Hinduism's lowest caste the Dalits, earlier known as untouchables – said he had roamed the Kangra Valley with eunuchs for two years playing drums."

Um...I missed this paragraph the first time around.

So, uh...a leper and two eunichs walk into a bar and...

He's sure it didn't just FALL OFF??

[lilylangtree]

Radical example of Freud's theory on "Penis Envy."

[Only1choice____Freedom]

Because I get about five spams a day that could help him.

I don't think this will be on any help, you have to have something to work with first.

[Nachoman]

The Traveling Eunichs - great name for a rock-n-roll band.

[lilylangtree]

Pickle them!

[Riley]

rm -rf dongle.config

[StolarStorm]

He'll be ok. Sonu will get a service job that used to be filled by an American.

[Sender]

% cat catfood
cat: cannot open catfood

% cat "food in cans"
cat: can't open food in cans

Arrrgh! Stupid eunuchs!

[samuel_adams_us]

With all the outsourcing going on by the IT Corps here in the United States they may have to change the name from eunuchs to UNIX.

[DannyTN]

"HUH?!? "

I think that means he's now French.

[Riley]

LOL! I'm going to have to print that out and tape it to the 'fridge, way down around cat height.

[Slings and Arrows]

WHY are their eunuchs in an allegedly modern, free, civilized country like India to begin with?

Interesting story...

[Squantos]

............ouch !

[Cathryn Crawford]

He said he was taken south to Agra, home of the celebrated monument to love, the Taj Mahal, where he regained his senses and learned to his horror that his penis was missing.

Wow.

[Dan from Michigan]

Wow.

Take one of the w's off....owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

[patton]

Just damn.

[dennisw]

He can immigrate here, buy very nice furniture, shirts, after shave and become a metro-sexual

[The Pheonix]

you said a "certain ex-impeached president is going to India?

Let's phone Clinton to say, "Hey, Bill buddy, guess who we got you as your travelling companions, ?

Yes, right, Two of your very own Indian EUNUCHS, doesn't that sounds like fun ??????" And no need to thank us..

[Sparta]

There went my trip to India. :)

[wardaddy]

Happiness is "nuts after the flop".