Study: Kansas Is Flatter Than a Pancake

Yahoo! ^ | Monday, July 28, 2003 | The Associated Press

[Willie Green]

For education and discussion only. Not for commercial use.

LAWRENCE, Kan. - Scientists have confirmed what many cross-country motorists long have suspected: Kansas is flatter than a pancake.

A study published recently in the tongue-in-cheek Annals of Improbable Research compares the geography of Kansas to that of a griddle cake purchased at International House of Pancakes.

"Simply put, our results show that Kansas is considerably flatter than a pancake," wrote the researchers from Southwest Texas State University and Arizona State University.

Blame Brandon Vogt, a doctoral student at Arizona State University, for the topic. Three researchers were eating breakfast when the talk turned to how flat their pancakes really were.

Vogt suggested comparing the pancake to Kansas. While a student at the University of Colorado in Boulder, Vogt made frequent trips across the state on Interstate 70 to visit friends in Columbia, Mo.

"It's flatness — there's nothing to see, nowhere to stop," Vogt said.

The researchers used a confocal laser microscope to map the terrain of a flapjack. And then, they compared that data to elevation data for Kansas from the U.S. Geological Survey.

The researchers discovered the pancake is much bumpier than it first appears.

Not everyone is buying into the research.

"My guess is you could put Colorado in there, the way they're calculating it, and it would be flatter than a pancake," said Lee Allison, director of the Kansas Geological Survey. "I think this is part of a vast breakfast food conspiracy to denigrate Kansas. It's a cheap shot."

[the Deejay]

In the 1880's thru the 1930's, my greatgrandparents didn't mind a bit how "flat" Kansas is. They prospered greatly as Stock Farmers.

[djf]

Director of the Kansas Geological Survey?

Must be a high pressure position! Give that man a vacation.

[Gunslingr3]

Director of the Kansas Geological Survey? Must be a high pressure position! Give that man a vacation.

I dunno, determining the extent of flood plains would be a b*tch...

[Pan_Yans Wife]

"I think this is part of a vast breakfast food conspiracy to denigrate Kansas. It's a cheap shot."--Lee Allison

Outstanding quote!

[LexBaird]

Director of the Kansas Geological Survey?

Must be a high pressure position! Give that man a vacation.

I suspect he could survey the entire geology of Kansas from the top of a tall stepladder.

[y2k_free_radical]

Flat is good for farming

[Riley]

I read once that if the Earth were the size of a cue ball, it would be smoother.

Sort of makes you wonder what it might be like exploring a cue ball the size of the Earth.

[djf]

He probably wanders around the state like that Sprint guy, but instead of "Can you hear me now?" it's "Yup, it's flat here too!"

[quark]

Yes, but is Kansas flatter than Gwyneth Paltrow?

[TomB]

"Simply put, our results show that Kansas is considerably flatter than a pancake," wrote the researchers from Southwest Texas State University and Arizona State University.

Tell that to these intrepid (tepid?) explorers who scaled Kansas' highest peak, Mt. Sunflower.

I N T O T H I C K A I R: Early April 1998 Ascent of the Northeast Face of Mt. Sunflower 4,039 feet above sea level

[TomB]

(Yes, ladies and gentlemen, Kansas' "highest peak" is 1000 feet HIGHER than Pennsylvania's )

[Atlas Sneezed]

"I read once that if the Earth were the size of a cue ball, it would be smoother."

Me too, and I'm suspicious. Earth is about 8000 miles in diameter, and the extreme elevations are about 6 miles above and below the nominal (sea) level. That's a +/-0.075% deviation. Apply that to a 2.25" diameter billiard ball, and you get a deviation of +/-1.7 thousands of an inch on the cue ball. If Everest had a 12 mile cliff next to the Mariannas trench, that would be a little less than the thickness of a sheet of copy paper.

I suppose that with extreme elevation changes being relatively gradual (a half-mile cliff being very unusual, and a mile-high cliff being unheard of), the ball-sized earth probably would feel as smooth, and have a surface deviation characteristics smoother than the ball.

[rockfish59]

Flatter than Eleanor Clift?

I love wide open country!

You just have to look for the nice places!

Atchison, KS

Witchita, KS
And, like Frank Zappa said: 'Who could imagine that they would freak out in Kansas?'

[Riley]

If Everest had a 12 mile cliff next to the Mariannas trench, that would be a little less than the thickness of a sheet of copy paper.

Working very roughly off of my freefall tables that's what, about six minutes of air, from a base jump?!!

[KellyAdmirer]

It is also bigger than a breadbasket. I base that on my detailed survey while driving across it last year. There, now where's my grant money?

[eccentric]

HEY! We have a valley here! I know 'cause my cell phone didn't work there.

But, yeah, the rest is flat. From the top of our local skyscraper (grain elevator), you can see the skycrapers of our nearby towns....

[VRWC_minion]

This reminds me of a business trip I was on to Wichita flying 1st class. The stewardess was interested in what why we were going there. I told her we were researching a new location for a ski resort.

[djf]

I took this in my backyard.(Well, actually, about a mile away, all I have is trees in my backyard)