Sorry, You're Nobody's Type -- Dating Sites Now Reject Some Applicants Upfront

The Wall Street Journal ^ | Wednesday, July 30, 2003 | JANE SPENCER

[TroutStalker]

Nik Bosyk considers himself a decent catch. The six-foot-four, blue-eyed voice-actor makes great calamari, likes sappy movies, and never forgets birthdays. But after a recent dating dry spell, the 25-year-old swallowed his pride and turned to the refuge of the semi-desperate: online dating. "It seemed like you were guaranteed to meet someone," he says.

[dead]

"I was stunned," says Mr. Bosyk, who apparently failed the personality test. "Is that even possible?"

Loser.

On so many many levels.

[RockChucker]

This cannot be real..... Onion.com joke?

[Huck]

[PBRSTREETGANG]

"I was stunned," says Mr. Bosyk, who apparently failed the personality test. "Is that even possible?"

Does he live in his parents' basement and drive a Segway to work, or something?

[Alouette]

Who is running these websites, Simon Cowell?

[bedolido]

I am soooo glad I'm married... I'd hate to try and sell this old body to some unsuspecting and equally old female.

[Ronin]

Hello.... you have reached the suicide prevention hotline... all of our operators are too busy to talk to a loser like you... If you plan to use a pistol, please replace the receiver before you commence firing, and don't forget to unlock the safety....

[Sam Cree]

I have an acquaintance who owns a dating website. Funny thing is, he himself has never found that "right" one.

[StriperSniper]

who apparently failed the personality test.

Nah, I'd bet it was the backround check.

[Semper Paratus]

Should not have given his address as "In a trailer down by the river".

[connectthedots]

eharmony.com rejects approximately 20% of the applicants. I know a woman who was rejected.

[ClearCase_guy]

Should not have given his occupation as "Impeached President of the United States".

[CJ Wolf]

Kind of like all those pyschologists that are nuts and the teachers who can't get a job in the field they teach, eh?

[HEY4QDEMS]

A cyber version of Studio 54, who'da thunk it.

[capt. norm]

It's like th eold joke:
"I sent my picture in to the 'Lonely Hearts Club' and they wrote back: We're not THAT lonely!"

[Snuffington]

Actually, I think the interesting thing about these sites is that they seem to have found viable business models. They aren't trying to appeal to everyone at once and capture 100% market share. They're trying to turn a profit, and are apparently succeeding.

[js1138]

Friendster is really hot with the 20 something crowd.

[N. Theknow]

Hello.... you have reached the suicide prevention hotline...

And there is also the Psychology Hotline.

"If you are egotistical...press 1.
If you have multiple personalities..press 2..3...4 and 5.
If you are manic-depressive just hang up the damn phone Loser.
If you are obsessive-compulsive...press 6...press 6...press 6...press 6.

If you are paranoid Schizophrenic, stay on the line while we trace the call and send someone to destroy your house, your family, your friends, your pets and leave you totally alone and vulnerable.

[Pukin Dog]

Kobe Bryant's application:

Occupation: NBA 2-Guard, LA Lakers.
Response: Failed.
Reason: Unstable Career

College Education: None.
Response: Failed.
Reason: Our applicants prefer college educated men.

Status: Recently divorced single parent.
Response: Failed.
Reason: Single parents have different relationship priorities.

Type of woman desired: White, young, flexible.
Response: Failed.
Reason: Most of our applicants are darker, older and stiffer.

Personality type: Aggresive, potentially violent, very generous when under stress.
Response: Failed.
Reason: One should be generous prior to stress.

Financial Status: Net worth; 50Million +
Response: When can you sign up, handsome?
Reason: We are idiots.

[bytheBook]

>>And there is also the Psychology Hotline. <<

Thank you for your wit. I appreciated that one. After going through two custody evaluations and taking many pshychological screening tests I am all too familiar with those diagnoses. You gave me a good laugh.

I tried the online dating and it was a major screening out process. Sometimes the most unlikely people turn out to surprise you with their integrity and warmth.

If I do go out there again on the dating scene. I think I would try those "three minute dates" where you meet in a common place and spend three minutes at a time with many different potential singles sitting and talking to them. I have had too many conventional dates where you meet at some restaurant and you know almost immediately that it isn't going to work and you have to graciously ask to be excused.

[ElkGroveDan]

Like the unsuccessful woman newscaster was told; you have a face made for radio.

[Tijeras_Slim]

I know a woman who was rejected.

Get her while she's psychologically vulnerable! :)

[Mr. Jeeves]

I think I would try those "three minute dates" where you meet in a common place and spend three minutes at a time with many different potential singles sitting and talking to them.

I haven't been to one of those, but what I've heard is that invariably there is one woman who is somewhat prettier than the others and all of the men sign up to meet her again and ignore the rest. Predictable, I suppose.

[connectthedots]

She has some serious 'control' issues.

[Saturnalia]

Should not have given his address as "In a trailer down by the river".

Looks like I have company down there.

[TruthShallSetYouFree]

"I was stunned," says Mr. Bosyk, who apparently failed the personality test. "Is that even possible?"

You know you're a loser when you're having sex with yourself and your hand falls asleep.

[Brandon]

I think I sense a business opportunity here. Isn't the next logical step for some wily entrepreneur to set up an online coaching service, which for a fee will help you prepare for (i.e., beat) the online dating service quizzes?

[dfwgator]

the site defines a millionaire as anyone who earns over $100,000

Bill Clinton must have come up with that definition, based on who he thinks is rich.

[Lee Heggy]

Not everyone who tries an on-line matching service is an unattractive loser. I was widowed seven months ago. While I am still going through the grief of losing my partner I'm at the place where alone becomes lonely. I'm not ready for another wife or even a love affair but I like female company. I have met several very nice and attractive women with EHarmony that are very pleasant to socialise with and in time who knows? I'm really not into looking for love in a bar, church or grocery store. Usually people who are rejected are not looking for a relationship but rather a one night stand.

[Cogadh na Sith]

He lives in a van.

Down by the river...

[Tijeras_Slim]

She has some serious 'control' issues.

This should turn her on!

[Callahan]

Do they ask you your political orientation?

[BenR2]

I just HATE listening to those IDIOTIC eHarmony.com radio spots.

The founder (who speaks in these spots) sounds goofier than Saddam Hussein.

[BenR2]

I just HATE listening to those IDIOTIC eHarmony.com radio spots.

The founder (who speaks in these spots) sounds goofier than Saddam Hussein.

[BenR2]

I am soooo glad I'm married... I'd hate to try and sell this old body to some unsuspecting and equally old female.

////////
Hey. I can relate to that! LOL.

[nutmeg]

ping!

Please FReepmail me if you want on or off my infrequent ‘miscellaneous’ ping list.

[FITZ]

To me it sounds like a good idea for those who wish to use online services as a way to meet dates. They should have more of this --- maybe Christians Only, Jews Only etc for those who wish to meet their own kind. For those who get too many rejections, they could set up their own ---Losers.com and they could find each other.

[Lee Heggy]

"Do they ask you your political orientation?"

eHarmony doesn't just blutly ask if one is right or left. They do ask questions about values and overall attitudes that are pretty indicative of one's leanings. I doubt that James Carville and Mary Madeline would have met that way.

[Billthedrill]

I was once rejected by a sperm bank. They muttered something about their responsibility to the gene pool.

I was only there for the free toaster.

[E Rocc]

What the article didn't include was the part about how the rejection was automatically generated when he indicated his support for Dennis Kucinich.

-Eric

[ASA Vet]

Losers.com has already been taken. (In developement)

[Lazamataz]

Loser.

Me too. I'm a total loser with the ladies. I'm ugly as sin, fat, broke, and stupid. I couldn't get laid in a whorehouse with a fistful of 100's. I'm so fat, when kids throw snowballs at me, they often enter stable orbit. I'm so stupid I think Manual Labor is the president of Mexico. I'm so ugly, when I was born my doctor slapped my mama.

[Lazamataz]

I was once rejected by a sperm bank. They muttered something about their responsibility to the gene pool. I was only there for the free toaster.

I'm such a loser, I tried to xcrew the toaster.

[Lazamataz]

Not everyone who tries an on-line matching service is an unattractive loser.

I am.

[Lazamataz]

You know you're a loser when you're having sex with yourself and your hand falls asleep.

I hear voices in my head, but they are always snoring.

[goldstategop]

I'm definitely looking for a lasting relationship. If I wanted a one night stand there are sites on the Internet that let you get together with someone for a purely physical encounter. Its not for me thanks.

[NYC GOP Chick]

I hear voices in my head, but they are always snoring.

At least they're not laughing at you and cruelly mocking you...or are they?

[bmwcyle]

If you don't have a regular job, a house, income over 75,000.00, an expensive car, enough credit, you are just not the right man for the modern woman.

[DoctorMichael]

Bump.