A Modern Fable

The Rusty Humphrey Show | unknown | unknown

[Maelstrom]

{Adapted for correctness}

A girl going to college prided herself on her liberal activism. Her father though was a staunch conservative. When she came home for spring break she challenged her father to defend his unfair conservative beliefs.

Her father asked her, "How are your grades?"

She proudly announced she had a straight 4.0, but it took a lot of work. She wasn't able to go out nights and couldn't take weekends off from studying. She stayed up late working hard for her grades during the week.

Her father asked her, "Well how are your best friend's grades?"

"She's barely holding onto a 2.0. She goes out during the week and clubs over the weekends. Sometimes she has to skip class because she's hungover," she said.

He suggested, "Well, why don't you ask her to go to the dean's office and request him to deduct a point of GPA from your grade and add a point of GPA to hers? That'll give you both a 3.0 GPA and make everyone happy."

"That's not fair! I worked hard for my grades."

"Welcome to conservatism."

[A_perfect_lady]

No, no, no... the REAL story goes like this: The father suggests she share her GPA with her friend, and she agrees. After all, in her world, it doesn't matter what your GPA is when you graduate. Everyone who applies to grad school should be allowed in. And it doesn't matter what your GPA is in grad school either, because when you graduate, the government should give you a job that pays just exactly what everyone else gets paid, and you live in a rent-controlled apartment owned by the government. And health care is free. Everything is paid for by the government. Where does the government get the money? I don't know, like, they print it when they need it, or something.

[longtermmemmory]

Epilogue: Then girl says daddy give me a job in you company.