Ok Folks! Time to Be Grown-ups!! Parents and Children's Clothing...

08.26.03 | mlmr

[mlmr]

Every few days or so on FreeRepublic, those of us who follow the Common Culture and its focus on sexuality start complaining about the clothing in the local stores that is available to children. Mothers and fathers here complain about the trashy, sexualized clothing that little girls are sold. They complain that there are no others choices.

Well, I don't know about you folks but I COMPLAIN. To management. Each time I cannot find modest, decent clothes. It takes at most, five minutes. Each time I shop. And I expect I will get results. For each person who complains...mangement extrapolates that there are dozens of customers who do not say anything and feel the same way.

I want to encourage all parents to find the manager and complain about the things sold for children in the stores, especially the chains, that you don't like. Inappropriate and sexualized items. Emails help too.

Bsck a few years ago, when I was complaining about the movie choices for children at my local theatre, I was pulled aside by the manager and told that many parents were complaining and the chain was trying to find decent movies for children. I notice that there has been a broader selection of childrens films recently. I think there is untapped power in complaining to the right people.

When you complain, do it kindly and politely. Tell them what you do not like and what you are expecting to buy instead. Following it up with an email drives the point home. IF you want to change the culture...if you want to take it back...you need to open your mouths and ask for what you want.

For this is really for the children, and our culture, and our future.

[King Prout]

problem is, too many folks are children in parents' clothing.

[Lynn]

And this is also a capitalist society....like it or not. And everyone who is in business is in it for profit.

It's like turning the channel on TV stations you don't to watch. However, what may be a problem to watch for some, may not be a problem to watch for others. Societal culture wars are different in all walks of life and their communities to include tv, fashion, music, food, sex or whatever.

What the world needs less of is "offended people" over anything. The world also needs less police "peep"les (peoples) i.e. thought police, tv police, sex police and now apparently clothes police. I personally have no issue with an inanimate article of fabric in a store. What's looks sexy to some may look like a car wash buffrag to another...

The world really needs to get it's priorities straight. Too many other things out there to "complain" about...important things...like criminals in or political and judicial systems, rather than tying up someone's time for 5 to 10 minutes who's just trying to make a living...

nothing personal...just MHO

[tiamat]

Your point is well taken.

Now I do not know where others shop, but I do a lot with Target or Khol's and there seems to be no shortage of capri pants, blue jeans that are NOT low rise, t-shirts WITHOUT vulgar sayings, and cute peasant tops that do NOT show the tummy.

Now I am lucky.

My daughter could care LESS about style. She likes bright colors and nothing that is binding or itchy.

Two new pairs of jeans, some cargo pants, and a handful of t-shirts and she's there. Add in a couple pairs of shoes and assorted socks and undies.

That said, I will point out that it is PARENTS who ultimately pay for kid's clothing, and there is "the Golden rule" ie: "He who has the gold makes the rules". You will have no problem with clothing IF you pay attention. If parents are just handing money to kids and turning them loose in the mall , they deserve whatever the kid turns up with.

I guess I just do not see what the fuss is about.

Tia

[Hatteras]

Parents have a choice. They can let their underage daughter go out of the house looking like a two dollar whore or they can pay attention to their kids and actually put some effort into raising them.

[prarie earth]

I gotta say, 18-24 year old girls really know how to dress these days...15 years ago when I was in school it was nothing like this!

But it is a little over the top for 13 year olds to be following the trend.

[DanTheAdmin]

BINGO!!! Give the man a cigar...

[Lynn]

13 year old girls will only follow that trend as long as their parents remain "marshmallows on the couch of fat slobbery" while taking no part in the paying of attention to their children.

[tiamat]

18-24 year olds are adults, and ( hopefully) are willing to take responsibility for their lives.

Tia

[tiamat]

And there are few things scarier than a 40 something, over-weight bleach blond "Mom" with a navel ring and some tats who tries to cram herself into a halter top and a pair of low-rise jeans.....

shudder.

Tia

[prarie earth]

Ask any young guy and he will tell you the same thing, we appreciate it!

[prarie earth]

Good point..

[Desdemona]

Just to halfway put your mind at ease, the waistlines on the NY runways are back up to where they should be. By this time next year, the low-riders will be "out."

The tops are also much more modest on the runways. In the meantime, in ready to wear, Kohl's, some Wal-Mart (well-made, even if it is cheap), etc., has more modest things.

Otherwise, you can do what I did in the ultimate form of protest of the fashion industry - learn to sew.

[Tax-chick]

An excellent point. Next time I'm in Wal-Mart, I'm going to suggest that they should have the sensible dresses that I'm buying for myself (at a very good price, too) in sizes that will fit my daughters. (Sigh) I was my full size at 12 - well, a little thinner before the seven kids - but my oldest is a slow grower and I'm stuck shopping in the children's section.

[GodBlessUSA]

I fully understand the point of this article. Complaining can only help make the nicer fashions become more available. When I go shopping for my 6-year-old daughter, I have run into this problem. I have left many stores because there was not much else available. Sexy should not be acceptable at 6, or any age child. Most can tell the difference between sexy and non-sexy clothes. It's not a matter of opinion. Sexy is what sexy is. It's very disappointed. What message do we send children by dressing them sexually attractive? Unfortunately, there are many sick people out there, that shouldn't be attracted to young kids. Dressing, a child sexy, can only help encourage them. I rather have my daughter dress with class and style. The article is not asking to ban them just to complain when one sees fit. It’s for those who do not wish to dress their young children sexy and have a choice of outfits available with style and class.

[SamAdams76]

Posts like this make me so thankful I have two boys and no daughters. It is so damn complicated raising girls and my hat is off to those who can successfully raise them (for my boys to eventually marry up).

My wife took my two sons "back-to-school" shopping over the weekend and it took all of an hour and a half. Damn, and I was hoping to have the whole day to myself too. They just grabbed pants and shirts off the racks at Wal-Mart and Kohls and were out of there in a flash for just under $100 a kid. These clothes would last them years if they didn't grow out of them. I had jeans that I wore for years and years. Finally I threw them out this year because I took off some weight. But jeans and shirts never, ever go out of style for men. And that's just the way I like it.

Girls though are a different matter entirely. I know people raising girls who have closets full of clothes and yet they still have "nothing to wear." It's as if they have to wear something different every damn day. Am I ever glad I have boys!

[Keith in Iowa]

Point, Click, Ship. There are plenty of places on-line with quality items at reasonable prices.

I like Land's End. Sure, I pay a little more, but the quality is worth it. But great deals can be had on their close-outs.

[maica]

Well said! Conservatives have by nature been silent and this writer is just encouraging us to become a bit more active. Why else would almost every store have little cards asking for input on the shopping experience, other than they want to please the customer in order to sell more goods..

One mother may not think that she can do much, but suppose 100 all said the same thing. The message gets through.

It has always been fun to dress little girls in mother-daughter outfits, or other miniaturizations of adult clothing, but when the adults are dressing like J-Lo, it is not fair to the little girl. Think Jon Benet Ramsay for an extreme in this direction.

And if 6 year olds are dressing (being dressed, because they do not do their own shopping) like MTV acts, of course by the time they are 11-13, they think that street-hooker-appropriate clothing is normal.

[HenryLeeII]

Thank you. My wife and I have discussed the same thing a lot, and now we are starting to do as you are...

[B-Chan]

Folks, the solution to your fashion woes lies in the Preppie Look. Nothing combines Class and Comfort like classic American prep-school style I'll spare you the details, but be aware that clothing can be had that will look good on the kinder and last long enough to serve hand-me-down duty as well. These clothes are cut the same way as they were fifty years ago, are made from natural fabrics, and feature quaity stitching that will prevent them from falling apart after a year like discount-store clothes can. Yes, they cost more, but this is offset by the fact that they last much longer than cheaper clothes, both in terms of style and durability; and, by paying attention to sales and by shopping at the big chains' closeout shops (Nordstrom Rack, for example -- same clothes that Nordstrom carries, but discounted 40-60%) one can purchase higher-quality clothing at substantally lower prices.

Labels to look for: Lacoste, Polo, Brooks Brothers, and Banks. I'd also recommend almost anything from L.L. Bean or Land's End (J Crew tends to be a bit too trendy). Bean in particular carries a wide variety of top-quality kids' clothing, and at reasonable prices -- their shoe selection in particular is very sensibly priced -- and the clothes come with a lifetime guarantee.

The Preppie Look is the classic American style. You can't go wrong with golf shirts, chinos, sweaters, and loafers. Dress for success!

[holdmuhbeer]

I don't know where you're shopping but I have no trouble finding decent clothing for my daughter. Of course she's only 7 so I haven't been looking for a teenager yet.

[mathluv]

Whenever I read a thread like this, I am thankful to live in NE TX. My granddaughters are 7 and 9. Their clothes come from Target, Old Navy, Goodwill, and Salvation Army. We have not had a problem finding appropriate clothes.

Of Course, it helps that they don't like tops with sphagetti straps, etc. None of the kids are encouraged to 'go with the flow', but to dress as they are comfortable, not what is the 'latest'.

[lonestar]

problem is, too many folks are children in parents' clothing.

AMEN!

[agrace]

One thing that no one on this thread has mentioned is shoes. I have a 6 year old and have no real problem finding appropriate clothes for her - sure there is plenty out there in her size that I wouldn't wear MYSELF (in my size of course, haha) let alone put on her, but like others mentioned, Target is pretty good for basic conservative style, and I can usually find some stuff in Kids R Us - they're not too bad if you look.

When I was a kid we shopped the Sears catalog - a week or so before school a big box would come with everyone's Toughskins, argyles, turtlenecks, and assorted plaids and ruffles in it - it was like a mini-Christmas. Can't find much in Sears worth putting on kids these days.

Of course, eliminating that whole back-to-school experience by homeschooling doesn't hurt either. I know I have to get some stuff for my kids but I'm not pressed for time - they can wear shorts til October if the weather is nice. :)

But shoes! It is unbelievable what passes as footwear for kids these days. Finding a pair of dress shoes for my daughter in any season is a nightmare. How do kids walk in heels like those that adorn most of what's out there? Who on earth decides that those styles are cool for kindergarteners? After searching in vain through easily a dozen shoe depts (and running into numerous moms with the same complaint) we finally broke down and paid more at Stride Rite. But it was worth it. Hopefully this fall she will have not grown out of them yet!

[Redbob]

Schools around here are beginning to require "uniforms" of a sort: they are enforcing minimum standards, requiring for example khakis and shirts with collars for all, no bare midriffs, no open-toed shoes, etc.

The usual whiners complain, the usual newspaper and TV enablers give them massive coverage, then the issue goes away when the vast majority discovers how much easier (and cheaper) it becomes to shop for school clothes.

It's a small step, but it's a start.

[Mamzelle]

re: learn to sew

Fabrics are a problem if you don't live next to GStreet fabrics or MaryJos in Gastonia...the fabric stores are closing and the ones that remain cater mostly to crafters.

You can get swatches and nice stuff through mail order, but I sure miss having a store with some good, solid fabrics.

Since I've recently lost weight, I've been reading and rediscovering the fashion magazines. I like "Lucky" and "Allure" but the others aren't much fun. I hate the emphasis on celebrities-- Styles these days are kind of "Baglady lingerie", and clothes don't seem to fit the models. Shoes and handbags get the most emphasis--funny to think about the clotheshorses going so mad over purses that cost as much as a new computer. Do women really totter around in those $500 stiletto heels I see in the pictures? But I see Adrienne Vitadinni hasn't lost their touch--if I had an urban lifestyle I'd be reproducing those clothes for myself.

[Protagoras]

The poster didn't ask for any force to be used to expand the clothing choices. Only offered advice to like minded people who also want more modest choices for their children. Don't take it personal if you like the stuff that's out there now. Go ahead and buy it. They have what you want. If they didn't no one would begrudge you for asking the merchants to offer what you want.

Just curious, Do you have kids and you dress your little girls up in clothes that show her tummy an inch above her privates? Or the crack of her butt?

[lonestar]

There was an article in the Saturday paper about teens and where they shop. The latest fad in this part of Texas is Goodwill. High school and college kids are buying old jeans and t-shirts at good will. They aren't buying the extra large, baggy jeans but jeans that fit.

The biggest fad is old t-shirts that are from fast-food workers. The kid in the picture was wearing an old "Der Weinerschnitzel" t-shirt.

[Lynn]

Just curious, Do you have kids and you dress your little girls up in clothes that show her tummy an inch above her privates? Or the crack of her butt?

Are you TRYING to be insultingly disrespectful?? You address my comments as if I'm attacking the poster... my comments can be summed up as such raise your own while not questioning the judgements nor preferences nor styles of others i.e. complaining because you don't like it. In other words change the channel... but apparantly some don't get it... your other childish insinuation does not warrant response... but apparently some don't get it...

[Corin Stormhands]

I've got two boys, so this is less of a problem for me. The youngest is three and the 14-year-old still likes his jeans baggy and t-shirts large. Yeah, the band of his boxers usually shows, but his t-shirt is always covering it.

But you're right. I'm appalled at what parents think is cute.

My son plays football. He's in high school now so I haven't seen the cheerleaders. But for his association, the girls wore pretty skimpy outfits. What got me more was the suggestive nature of some of the cheers.

They actually had one: "W-H-I-P I-T! Whip It!" which ended with them sticking out their butts toward the audience. What the @#$Q@#$% does that have to do with football?

Parents of these girls are the ones that will wonder how on earth she got pregnant at 14.

My point is that, like the cheerleaders, there are parents that will buy the suggestive clothing for their daughters and think it's "cute."

Don't get me started about the knit shorts with writing across the butt...

[Tax-chick]

We have pretty good luck finding shoes at PayLess. My oldest daughter (12) is the hardest, but she has very small feet (didn't get them from me!) so there are still some basic shoes to fit her.

I'll be thrilled when the flip-flop fad is over. All these kids look like idiots.

[Constitution Day]

Well said!

[Constitution Day]

Don't get me started about the knit shorts with writing across the butt...

For her birthday, an acquaintance of ours gave my daughter some clothes.
One item was a pair of shorts that said "CUTIE" on the behind.

My daughter is THREE.

[Tax-chick]

Don't get me started about the knit shorts with writing across the butt...

You mean the ones that say, "Look at my butt - it's the most interesting thing about me!"?

I recently saw a woman about my age (well over 30) in the gas station wearing shorts that said "Pinch Heiney." I worry about someone that dumb driving the same streets as I am!

[StriperSniper]

saw a woman about my age (well over 30) in the gas station wearing shorts that said "Pinch Heiney."

Does that constitute written permission? ;-)

[prarie earth]

I suppose no one at the gas station took her up on her generous offer..

[Tax-chick]

LOL! You'd want to clarify that with her boyfriend, or a nearby cop, before you tried it!

[AnAmericanMother]

Argghgh! Don't get me started about that either.

The one that gets me has "BASKETBALL" written across the seat of the shorts. You want everybody should think your tochas looks like a basketball? Oy!

Fortunately my 15 year old daughter thinks they look really trashy. She lives in jeans or any-color-but-khaki pants and nice jewel-neck knit shirts for school - dresses for special days.

[Corin Stormhands]

One item was a pair of shorts that said "CUTIE" on the behind.

We would have been giving them back.

Hey...how was your week on the OBX? Weather any better for you than for us?

[Tax-chick]

Not while I was watching, but it could be people were inhibited by my presence, in my ankle length dress and head scarf :-). (Not Moslem - my husband asked me to grow my hair longer, and it looks too awful to show in public.)

[Corin Stormhands]

You mean the ones that say, "Look at my butt - it's the most interesting thing about me!"?

I was thinking about the ones that say "Cheer." But I heard Glenn Beck the other day talking about a pair he had seen that said "Juicy."

[sweet_diane]

"Parents have a choice. They can let their underage daughter go out of the house looking like a two dollar whore or they can pay attention to their kids and actually put some effort into raising them."

Exactly. I drop one daughter off at the high school and one at middle school everyday. I see these kids getting out of mom or dads car looking like floozies and that's with a uniform code in place! Dress codes are selectively enforced, which drives my kids crazy cause they know right is right and wrong is wrong (no uniform violations here!.)

I really bothers me how parents allow they daughters to go to school in super low rise pants and belly shirts...like they are putting them on the auction block or something.

[Tax-chick]

I was thinking about the ones that say "Cheer."

I think it's a little presumptuous to order men to cheer your rear ... they might want to boo or hiss, or yell, "Put some clothes on already!"

[Constitution Day]

Well, it's one of my wife's friends, and although she agrees with me, she politely thanked them.
Those shorts are a dustrag now.

The weather at Nags Head was not too bad... a little overcast, and it rained once or twice.
The worst thing was the COLD ocean temperature! When we arrived, it was around 58 degrees. By the time we left, it was maybe 8-10 degrees warmer.

I'm not complaining, though.
There is no such thing as a bad day at the beach, and we had an excellent time... thanks for asking!

[Alouette]

And there are few things scarier than a 40 something, over-weight bleach blond "Mom" with a navel ring and some tats who tries to cram herself into a halter top and a pair of low-rise jeans.....

The 60 something "Grandma" in a matching outfit....

[najida]

And there are few things scarier than a 40 something, over-weight bleach blond "Mom" with a navel ring and some tats who tries to cram herself into a halter top and a pair of low-rise jeans.....

The 60 something "Grandma" in a matching outfit....

You guys saw them too!

[mtbrandon49]

The girls stuff is to short and the boys stuff is to long and baggy. I went with my wife school shopping for my son. She made him try on everything. He tried about 20 different pairs of shorts to narrow it down to a few pair for school. Most of the shorts came below his knee. Not a little but a lot. Just as well to have gotten jeans.

[Jhensy]

Then there's revolting teen idol Christina Aguilera, who wore shorts that said "Dirty" across the behind.

It gave the impression that she had a wiping problem.

[CJ Wolf]

hey that sounds like my mother-in-law. She is nuts.