Cats: The New Persecuted Minority

War to Mobilize Democracy, LLC ^ | August 25, 2003 | Andrew Jaffee

[forty_years]

This is just too funny. I put the article in the comment below so people could see the pictures.

[forty_years]

Cats: The New Persecuted Minority* By Andrew L. Jaffee, August 25, 2003	Home   Search   Forum   Terms

It has come to my attention that the domestic cat (Felis catus) is now the number one persecuted minority. I have had first-hand experience in seeing the horrible mistreatment that cats are now subjected to. My only conclusion is that we must 1) pass a constitutional amendment specifically granting special rights to cats, and 2) establish a reparations fund to compensate cats for all the psychological damage they have incurred.

Cats have a long and noble heritage. The ancient Egyptians are thought to have been the first to domesticate the cat. They believed the cat was a sacred animal and that cats brought fertility to their lands and people. Egyptian traders probably brought cats to Europe. With the advent of Christianity, cats became associated with evil. During the Bubonic plague in Europe, many people blamed cats for the disease, and they killed/burnt cats to the point of extinction.

Now that cats have permeated modern society, a more insipid form of cat persecution has come into being. Because of the decadence of Western societies, cats have been subjected to more subtle types of persecution. I will now proceed to provide photographic evidence of such persecution.

Here we see an example of a cat who broke into his "owner's" valium. How shameless of his owners to allow him access to such psychotropic drugs. We cannot blame the cat for his drug abuse. It was his owner's fault for not properly hiding the drugs:

Here we see a cat that has been deprived of any sense of fulfillment by her owners. This cat is obviously bored to death. Her owners are guilty of not allowing her to pursue a higher education:

But cats have started to use non-violent resistance against their owners. Here we see a cat preventing her owner from working on her computer. Notice that the cat is sticking her tongue out at her owner in a sign of all-out defiance:

Here we find another example of non-violent resistance. This cat has promised to sit on her owner's computer until her demands for reparations are met:

Here we see a sit-in by disgruntled cats, trying to bring their plight to the attention of the public:

Please join the crusade for a cat constitutional amendment and cat reparations. We owe it to these noble creatures. We must save them from further persecution.

* For those of you who didn't notice, this article is tongue-in-cheek.

[neutrino]

I agree! It's time to claw our way to freedom!

[mel]

That is funny. I like that.

[Jalapeno]

Silly animal thread bump

[Prof Engineer]

ping

[Princeliberty]

Breaking news Johnnie Cochran getting ready to file
lawsuits on behalf on cat plaintiffs around the country.

[sistergoldenhair]

ping

[Rocko]

I say declaw the little bastards.

[hobblemaster]

That was purrrfect.

[MEG33]

Great fun for cat lovers!Thanks

[wimpycat]

FORTY ACRES (OF CATNIP) AND A MOUSE!!

[LibKill]

That's just what I want out of life, to be a slave to furballs.

SEND ME CATS NOW! I LOVE PAIN!

[Bogey78O]

All they want is 40 acres and a mew.

[Chad Fairbanks]

My cat...

[Chad Fairbanks]

And we need a task force to stamp out...

[PetroniDE]

PAGING THE CAT PEOPLE. TIME TO SHOW THE WORLD WHO IS BOSS AROUND HERE. RELEASE THE MONSTERS.

PERSECUTE THIS !!!

[wimpycat]

WE'RE FIERCE, WE'RE FELINES, AND WE'RE IN...YOUR...FAAAAAAAACE!"

[LibKill]

The pic is a red X in a little box. Not scary at all.

[meowmeow]

Meow bump!

[Redleg Duke]

Cat...the other white meat!

[wimpycat]

Really? Let me try another one, 'cos this black cat is showing up fine on my screen.

[Hillarys Gate Cult]

Cats: ALL YOUR CATNIP ARE BELONG TO US

[SAMWolf]

My owners let me use the whirlpool!!

[Chad Fairbanks]

"All I need is a nose-ring, and I am all set!"

[jimkress]

The only good cat, is an appetizer.

DOGS RULE!

[wimpycat]

This is a different one...much bigger cat, too.

[Maigrey]

That would be the chairman of the Mean Kitty society.

[LibKill]

Now THAT'S scary!

Did I mention that I really, really, really love cats?

I'm lying, just don't sic that monster on me. :)

[wimpycat]

CAT-TIC-A! CAT-TIC-A! CAT-TIC-A!

[wimpycat]

[MEG33]

bttt

[abner]

We have a new cat. We picked him up yesterday. We are looking for a good name. So far, Batty seems to fit.

Name the new cat

[LibKill]

Not all cats are freindly.

Foolish human! When I get big enough, you're LUNCH!

[Dan from Michigan]

That's the type of cat I seem to attract. RAOOOOW!!!

That's why I prefer man's best friend. :)

[LibKill]

Oh! Cruelty!

Let the poor kitty out of its cage so it can grow big and strong.

And then it will EAT you!

[bicycle thug]

Kitties united, will never be defeated.

[LibKill]

Name the new cat.

Umm, Master? (or Mistress, as the case may be.)

[abner]

Isn't that Billy Idol's cat?

[LibKill]

Isn't that Billy Idol's cat?

It was. Then it grew up and ATE HIM ALIVE!

[JZoback]

Bonsai kitten.com

[abner]

He is a boy. We lost our diabetic cat about a month ago. He hasn't been replaced. We just need 4 of the darned animals to be whole. Sick, I know...

[abner]

It was. Then it grew up and ATE HIM ALIVE!

LOL! Apparently you have some issues you need to work out with the cat thing...

[LibKill]

He is a boy. We lost our diabetic cat about a month ago. He hasn't been replaced. We just need 4 of the darned animals to be whole. Sick, I know...

All kidding aside, I'm sorry you lost a beloved pet.

[wimpycat]

How about now, does my cat from #17 show up now?

[LibKill]

How about now, does my cat from #17 show up now?

Yes it does. I have a frying pan ready for it. :)

[abner]

Thanks for the sympathy. He was getting older, so it was expected. But sad.

[wimpycat]

I know how you feel...check out my profile...it was his heart.

[bicycle thug]

Here is someone who's cat has had enough of companion pet oppression.

[abner]

Ellis Hennican is on Hannity and Colmes right now so I feel I must say that, "Ellis eats paste!!!"

That's all...

[MarkL]

Breaking news Johnnie Cochran getting ready to file lawsuits on behalf on cat plaintiffs around the country.

I'm willing to bet that he'll be using the "Chewbacca Defense!"

Mark