Bambi, it's what's for dinner.
There's always room for all God's creatures ...
right next to the mashed potatoes and gravy.
posted on 08/29/2003 3:00:07 PM PDT
Given that hunting season (bow season, to be specific) starts this weekend, the likelihood is that Bambi is going to be dinner. Not to mention Porky, the local wild hog.
But since I have two papers due in DC Tuesday, I'll have to stick to plain old cow. Life's rough in this Grove of the Academe.
posted on 08/29/2003 3:08:56 PM PDT
(In a society predicated upon liberty, it is essential to examine principles - -)
true story when my brother was six years old my dad hit a deer with his truck and got him right on the head and broke the deers nose.So he put it on the back of the truck and brought it home to clean it and cook it up.He pulled in about 10 seconds before my mom and brother did so my dad went and put down the gate of the truck and out plops the deers head and the first thing my brother saw was the blood RED nose of this deer.Now keep in mind this is about the 8 or 9th of december. As soon as my brother saw that he ran down the street shouting as loud as he could MY DAD KILLED RUDOLPH MY DAD KILLED RUDOLPH.He was doing that for a full minute before they caught him and got him back home and my dad spent almost all the rest of that night explaining what happend until he THOUGHT my brother believed him.So a couple of days later we all went out to the mall for christmas shopping and what do all malls have in december? thats right SANTA. My brother sees this and goes right up to him not bothering to wait in line shouts at the top of his lung. MY DAD KILLED RUDOLPH TUESDAY NIGHT SO THIS YEAR IF THERE IS ANY FOG YOU WONT BE ABLE DELIVER ANY PRESENTS BECAUSE RUDOLPH IS DEAD AND MY DAD KILLED HIM. So this santa started sputtering and mumbling about how rudolph isnt missing.It cant be the rudolph and all the children in the line are just screaming and crying there eyes out and my dad was getting the most evil looks form al l the parents that were trying to settle thier children down and sants stood up in his slay announcing that rudolph isnt missing.
We didnt see if any of the kids believed him because the security gaurds were escorting us off the premises at that time and the whole way back home my brother was saying.I hope your happy you ruined christmas for everyone you jerk. I was doing my best not to laugh my butt off and so was my mom. My dad was just gritting his teeth and trying not to get another migraine while he was again explaining how that wasnt rudolph and so christmas day comes along and this little creep got about 5 times the amount of christmas presents as i did that year. Along with a handwritten note from "SANTA" saying that the deer my dad killed not only wasnt rudolph but was actually rudolphs evil twin brother who was terribly jaealous of him and he was out on the road that night laying traps for santas sleigh. So that no one would get presents that year and if my dad wouldnt have killed him santa would have had to cancel christmas that year and maybe a couple of more. So my dad was a hero and not a jerk and he single handedly saved christmas worldwide for the millions of children in all countrys and the best thing my brother could do to thank my dad for saving christmas was to clean up his room once a week and go ahead and eat the venison steaks that my dad made out of evil rudolph.Wich is something my brother refused to do he would actually leave the house when the steaks were cooking for the full 2 weeks before christmas and wouldnt come back inside until dinner was over when my softy mom would make him a non rudolph meal so he wouldnt starve. But after christmas when he was practically ordered to by santa himself he had no problem eatingit after that it was a very interesting christmas season that year
posted on 08/29/2003 3:21:57 PM PDT
(today it was the victory act tomorrow its victory coffee, victory cigarettes...)
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