Sick with fear and worry (long vanity)

September 5, 2003 | Self

[tictoc]

I am depressed and despondent.

I have a morbid attachment to the war between militant Islam and the rest of the world, and I worry especially about Israel.

The more I read, the worse I feel, and yet I can't stop.

September 11, 2001, is seared in my mind with a vividness nothing can erase.

The week before, I had worked as a simultaneous interpreter at an international conference of structural engineers in Germany. Speakers from around the world presented papers on the latest trends in skyscraper construction.

One of them was Leslie E. Robertson, the engineer in charge of the structural design for the World Trade Center during the 1960s. Following his talk on engineering innovations in building projects in China, he took questions from the floor. One person asked him about the 1993 bombing of the World Trade Center, and expressed surprise that the tower had held up so well in spite of the extensive damage at lower levels.

With quiet confidence, Mr. Robertson replied that the WTC had been designed with a substantial reserve of strength to withstand assaults on its integrity. Specifically, he said that its designers had built it so that it would survive the impact of what was then the largest commercial aircraft in the world, a Boeing 707 jetliner.

His words, translated by me into German, were transmitted by wireless infrared to scores of German speakers in the audience listening through their portable headsets, some of whom nodded in assent.

That was on September 7. I was in a funk after the conference. One of the organizers had approached me at the end and expressed his dissatisfaction with my performance, something that had never happened to me before. There was something about his anger that was inexplicable. It seemed out of proportion to any reasonable complaint. My colleague defended me but the man was implacable. Something seemed to be in the air, something that was making people edgy and aggressive.

Four days later, I switched on the computer and was hit by the news from New York and Washington on the Internet. I stayed glued to the computer while the news bulletins from National Public Radio came tumbling out of the radio.

The world had changed in one day and would never be the same again. Fear and grief, but fear more than grief, were palpable all around. I told myself that the expressions of barely hidden triumph and satisfaction that I saw on the faces of some Muslim immigrants were a figment of my imagination.

Later, as news came in from places such as Lebanon, Pakistan and the West Bank, it became clear that many people were rejoicing.

I could not comprehend this joy then and still cannot today.

On September 11, in a way then still more intuitive than fact-based, I suddenly felt the immense hatred emanating from Islam. The knowledge, for those willing to examine it, had been there all the time, but like most I had chosen to ignore it.

And just as quickly, I understood that the country of Israel would become the focal point of anger not only for Muslims, but also for many in the West for whom the temptation to throw a sacrificial offering to the wolf pack was simply too great.

I lost friends, close friends, because they suddenly revealed to me the depth of their contempt for Israel, for Jews, and for Americans. Muslims, I heard from them, had been oppressed by the West, their legitimate grievances unheard, worst of which was the establishment of Israel on land stolen from Muslims. I began to withdraw into myself.

Then I discovered a countercurrent to the tide of resentment and hate. Accustomed to logging on to the New York Times and feeling frustrated at the rampant political correctness, I found a robust sense of pride in the accomplishments of the western world on the editorial pages of the Wall Street Journal. Writers like Peggy Noonan gave me reassurance and hope that we would defend our civilization.

Later, I found blogs such as Steven Den Beste's USS Clueless, and shortly afterward - via John Shelley's Journal - I discovered Free Republic. Words cannot describe the relief I felt at finding a community of kindred spirits.

And yet, I wondered why we had to meet in cyberspace. Wasn't this proof of our isolation, individually, in the places where we lived and worked?

Meanwhile, the campaign of hatred against Israel grew to a fever pitch. The embattled minority of Israel's defenders in Europe grew smaller, its voices drowned out by twisted anger.

I began to research Islam and its history. For the longest time, the attitude of respect for other religions and peoples, taught to me from an early age, held me back from passing judgment. I went out of my way to find writers with Arab Muslim names advocating peaceful coexistence with the rest of the world including Israel. They were few in number, and most appeared to be apostate in reality if not by admission. In all this time I found only one who argued a Koranic interpretation to defend Israel's right to exist in peace as a homeland for the Jews.

In contrast to this trickle of reason, the vast numbers of Muslim clerics and intellectuals preaching hate were overwhelming.

It became impossible to avoid the truth staring me in the face. In all the countries with a Muslim majority, with the recent exception of Turkey, religious and ethnic minorities were oppressed. The fabled Muslim "tolerance" for "people of the book" was a myth masking brutality and exploitation. There had been a period in history when life in Muslim-ruled places was better, on balance, than in Christian Europe, but that period was long past.

Islam - a political ideology as much as a religion - seems constitutionally unable to accept an equal footing with other religions and political systems. One of the most glaring examples is the continuing plight of Eastern Christians. The extinction of Lebanon as the only Christian-ruled nation in the Middle East is forever a blot on the conscience of the West, which stood by and allowed it to happen. Jews and Christians are dhimmi, second-class citizens expected to know their place and submit.

Any harm, any injustice done by non-Muslims to Muslims, no matter how slight, must be avenged. There is no concept of forgiveness, no willingness to examine self-critically the wrongs done by Muslims to others.

In the town in Germany where I live, entire neighborhoods were Jewish before the Nazis attained power. Their houses - those that still stand after the bombing in World War II - are now inhabited by people who have little knowledge of this history.

The vibrant Jewish communities, in Germany and elsewhere in Europe, were destroyed by the Holocaust. Those murdered by the Nazis - Jews; resisting Christians; labor unionists; Gypsies; retarded children; homosexuals; ordinary men who told a Hitler joke within earshot of a spy - have left behind holes in society, gaps in the air that should have been inhabited by them as they went about their business.

Never again, was the motto. Never again another Holocaust. But that is the threat confronting the five million Jews in Israel. An Islamic Jihad official calls for the nuclear devastation of Israel, with the concurrent death of the Palestinian Arabs accepted so that the "brothers" can retake the empty land. One of the most powerful men in Iran promises that the Islamic bomb can annihilate Israel, with large numbers of Muslims still alive in the Middle East following a nuclear exchange.

Even at this minute, I am certain that Islamists within the government of Pakistan are hard at work trying to divert a nuclear device so that it can be placed on a ship bound for Jaffa harbor. And one large nuclear bomb is all it would take to accomplish their object.

Ron Rosenbaum wrote in the New York Observer that the motto has been amended to "Never again. And if again, not us alone." The comfort this gives me - knowing that many more millions of Arabs can be destroyed by an already-dead Israel - is exactly zero.

And if, by some improbable combination of luck, intelligence work and pre-emptive strikes, a nuclear holocaust can be averted, the future for Israel is still bleak. I look at Ariel Sharon's care-worn face as he shoulders the burden of leading his nation, threading the shrinking eye of the needle, trying to get from this day to the next, and the day after that.

I listen to the words of President Bush and Condi Rice, decent human beings who care for Jews and for Israel but who must put the interests of the United States first. Already they are backsliding from the President's 24 June 2002 speech. The task confronting them as we occupy Iraq and move forward in attempting to pacify the Muslim world by force of arms, money and persuasion is so large, there may one day be no political capital left to spend on supporting a tiny foreign nation.

In a perverse way, the destruction of Israel may even galvanize the Europeans; dead Jews are good for shedding tears of anger.

Never having lived permanently in Israel, I must rely on what present and former Israelis tell me. And that is that the pressure of always having to be on guard, always having to demonstrate superior strength against the onslaught of Arab hatred, may be impossible to sustain forever.

I feel that I am living half in the present, half in some not-yet realized but unbearable future. And I don't know how I will be able to go on when that future becomes reality.

Mr. Robertson, from what I read, was despondent after September 11. It appears he blamed himself and second-guessed what he might have done differently to make the WTC towers hold up. He immersed himself in the clean-up efforts at Ground Zero, contributing his expertise, and I hope that this hard work has helped him to exorcise the demons of unjustified guilt.

Myself, I am becoming paralyzed with worry and fear and finding it hard to think straight. My work and livelihood is severely impacted because of all the time I spend obsessively reading, discussing and thinking - looking for a "way out" but not finding one. I wonder if my vocal defense of Israel, on the Internet and in personal encounters, is doing good. I wonder if it is time to start thinking about a "reverse Exodus". But maybe there will be a miracle? Maybe there is something we can say or do to change the Muslims' minds? Maybe-

And round and round I go. This is extremely unhealthy. Anyone who wants to call me a whining crybaby, go ahead, I don't care. If you can say a small prayer for me, please do. And please pray for the lives of innocents everywhere.

[ATOMIC_PUNK]

You have to do what i did ! Get out of the 24 hour news rage spend time talking about it instead of dwelling on it stop yourself from changing the subject when talking about tea or roses or anything .....

You have to learn to control all of it or it will eat you up inside and before long the outside will show it!

God bless you and prayers to you

[Cindy]

SEPTEMBER 11, 2001: "ATTACK ON AMERICA!"
http://www.truthusa.com/911.html

[tictoc]

Thank you, I will ty to take your advice.

[Cindy]

SNIP: "Myself, I am becoming paralyzed with worry and fear and finding it hard to think straight. My work and livelihood is severely impacted because of all the time I spend obsessively reading, discussing and thinking - looking for a "way out" but not finding one. I wonder if my vocal defense of Israel, on the Internet and in personal encounters, is doing good. I wonder if it is time to start thinking about a "reverse Exodus". But maybe there will be a miracle? Maybe there is something we can say or do to change the Muslims' minds? Maybe-"

Prayer is powerful but only if we pray.

Many of us on FR have been following world events from September 11, 2001 and what may happen on/before/after September 11, 2003. We have gleaned a lot of info as well as personal opinions.

Knowledge is powerful --- but only if we use it.


Bottom line: Worrying won't change a thing.

[John Valentine]

You are not a whining crybaby.

You are a sane man trying to understand a social phenomenon that is literally insane by design.

The radical islamists value ignorance because from ignorance comes dependence, and from dependence comes obedience. And obedience is the core value of Islam.

In traditional Islam, as practiced by sane human beings, this obedience is obedience to the Will of God, and sane people know that this can only be imperfectly known by human beings, and that the struggle to understand the will of God can last a lifetime.

In radical Islam there is no question about the Will of God. It is exactly what the Imam in charge says it is, and nothing else. No individual interpretations allowed. No thought encouraged - only unquestioning obeience, now perversely obedience to the Imam, who alone can explain and interpret the will of God. This is insane, as it provides no feedback from the real world.

And now, even such slime as Osama bin Laden is considered an Imam by these pitiful creatures.

What to do?

Your despair is understandable, because there is no cure for this sickness, this murderous insanity, except death.

And that cure is precisely what we have planned for them.

[kayak]

Psalm 27

¹ The LORD is my light and my salvation;
        Whom shall I fear?
        The LORD is the strength of my life;
        Of whom shall I be afraid?
        ²When the wicked came against me
        To eat up my flesh,
        My enemies and foes,
        They stumbled and fell.
        ³Though an army may encamp against me,
        My heart shall not fear;
        Though war may rise against me,
        In this I will be confident.

        ⁴One thing I have desired of the LORD,
        That will I seek:
        That I may dwell in the house of the LORD
        All the days of my life,
        To behold the beauty of the LORD,
        And to inquire in His temple.
        ⁵For in the time of trouble
        He shall hide me in His pavilion;
        In the secret place of His tabernacle
        He shall hide me;
        He shall set me high upon a rock.

        ⁶And now my head shall be lifted up above my enemies all around me;
        Therefore I will offer sacrifices of joy in His tabernacle;
        I will sing, yes, I will sing praises to the LORD.

        ⁷Hear, O LORD, when I cry with my voice!
        Have mercy also upon me, and answer me.
        ⁸When You said, "Seek My face,"
        My heart said to You, "Your face, LORD, I will seek."
        ⁹Do not hide Your face from me;
        Do not turn Your servant away in anger;
        You have been my help;
        Do not leave me nor forsake me,
        O God of my salvation.
        ¹⁰When my father and my mother forsake me,
        Then the LORD will take care of me.

        ¹¹Teach me Your way, O LORD,
        And lead me in a smooth path, because of my enemies.
        ¹²Do not deliver me to the will of my adversaries;
        For false witnesses have risen against me,
        And such as breathe out violence.
        ¹³I would have lost heart, unless I had believed
        That I would see the goodness of the LORD
        In the land of the living.

        ¹⁴Wait on the LORD;
        Be of good courage,
        And He shall strengthen your heart;
        Wait, I say, on the LORD!

[dennisw]

Far better than being a happy idiot.

[dennisw]

The unexamined life is not worth living (Socrates)

[KentTrappedInLiberalSeattle]

And round and round I go. This is extremely unhealthy. Anyone who wants to call me a whining crybaby, go ahead, I don't care. If you can say a small prayer for me, please do. And please pray for the lives of innocents everywhere.

You aren't "a whining crybaby" whatsoever, IMHO.

A man (or woman) would have to be made of stone -- or, if a Democrat, have a head made of stone -- not to have been transformed, now and forevermore, by the events of 9/11; and (more recently) by the ongoing slaughter of blameless Jewish toddlers and other non-combatants, in Israel. These are horrific times; and they will, in all but the soulless, occasion feelings of genuine horror.

As an American and a Jew, I, too, have lost more than one (formerly) close and dear friend, over the past two years-plus, re: the twin issues of America's war vs. terrorism, and Israel's battle for simple survival. I've heard people whom I once considered sober and rational, overall -- their liberal political leanings notwithstanding -- blithely parrot rancidly anti-Semitic memes, and then (attempt to) defend same with the loutish canard: "... I'm not anti-Semitic; I'm anti-Zionist." I've listened, stunned speechless, as (putative) grownups I'd known for decades suddenly began whinnying intellectually incoherent jibber-jabber about "empire" this and "blood for oil" that and yadda yadda yadda, blah blah blah.

The far left, in this country -- and, increasingly, that's all there is to the left any longer, really; just its (formerly) most whacked-out, (former) fringe element -- has, IMHO, been driven barking mad by the very notion of no longer being in a position of total and unchallenged political power. They can no longer even attempt civil, reasoned debate in defense of their various positions. Everything is fascist! and nazi! and evilevilevil; a comic book view of life, where everyone is either a SuperFriend, or else a charter member of the Legion of Doom -- no middle ground, no exceptions.

(Just a few weeks back, in fact: I had a man with whom I'd been friends since the early '60s, in grade school, shock me with the bland assertion that -- in voting conservative -- I was [and still am] "supprting the cause of true evil in this world." This is, mind you, a college-educated man, with multiple degrees, and thirteen published books to his credit... and he's bleating sheeplespeak at me, for heaven's sake!)

All I can suggest, ultimately -- and this is cold, scant comfort, I know -- is: be strong. Be true... to your principles, and to yourself. Seek out whatever emotional comfort you can, in the presence of the politically and intellectually like-minded.

I can't imagine that things won't get darker, still, before they (eventually; hopefully) get lighter... but: the most important battles, I genuinely believe, are the ones demanding the most from us, in whatever coin of hardship or sacrifice ends up being the assessed cost.

A final, personal aside -- and please don't take this badly; I mean this only in the kindest, most solicitous sense -- if you're feeling gravely, profoundly depressed: please, PLEASE seek out and talk to a professional. I've suffered from chronic depression, myself, for over three decades... and, believe me: Zoloft saved my life, all right...? :)

Chin up. You're among kindred spirits, here.

[hellinahandcart]

My work and livelihood is severely impacted because of all the time I spend obsessively reading, discussing and thinking - looking for a "way out" but not finding one.

I've been there myself for much of the past two years. I'm still on the net too much, but this past spring I realized I just couldn't take the 24-hour news channels anymore, they were either putting me into defense mode with all the Breaking News alerts, or whipping me into a frenzy with all the shouting. So I turned them off, most of the time.

I also try to read more humor while here on FR, it really does help.

You would probably do well to have a little less "input" while you process all the other stuff. There's such a thing as being overstimulated. Take a break and make sure that, for a little while, you read or watch nothing that isn't fluffy and innocuous.

[hellinahandcart]

You are a sane man trying to understand a social phenomenon that is literally insane by design.

Excellent description. The world HAS gone crazy.

[spodefly]

"In an insane world, the sane man must appear insane." -- Mr. Spock

[marbren]

God keeps his promises. Things will get worse before they get better. The world will turn on Israel. Israel's salvation will come from God. If the USA turns its back on Israel we are doomed.

[jaykay]

This is the most bump worthy item I've seen in quite a while.

---

Religeon of peace alert.

[hellinahandcart]

And is there any way you can get out of Germany? That has to be an isolating experience as well...

[Russell Scott]

God is getting ready to send an anointed Army of Super Saints, "the church which is his body", into this world. They will be in his resurrected image and likeness, that can contain the fullness of God. When they sweep through the Middle East, all good hearted Muslims will hear their call, and enter the Kingdom. The hardcore hate filled murdering types, who will not repent, will be swept away. A thousand years of peace, prosperity, love, and joy for will begin. The future is very bright if your faith is in God and his plans, not man and his history of failures under the "prince of the power of the air", Satan, since he fell for his lies in Eden.

[Grim]

This is one of the most beautiful and sincere essays I've ever read on Free Republic. Thank you for sharing your heart. You're a talented writer.

I've heard Islam described as 'spiritual communism.' How can any organization, let alone a religion thrive by promoting hatred? If they ever prevailed by such a path, what kind of society would they build? One 'ruled' by hatred? Haven't we had that since the beginning of time?

Ironically, the jews and muslims have a similar view of the nature of god, namely as a majestic, powerful, yet distant being.

It was Jesus, unique among all the world's religions, who introduced the notion that god has the heart of a parent toward his children. That being the case, it's only logical that god would only desire his children love one another.

Some christians believe that god will intervene in some final "last days" strategy and save us all. Personally, I believe it's up to the children to bring the other children around.

Is love more powerful than hatred? Here is the final test for mankind to find out. If not, all is lost.

As a practical matter, then, I think religious leaders and scholars, must get together and work to find common ground. There should be an unending conference of religious scholars toward this end. Islamic scholars should be invited to discuss with christian, jewish, buddhist and others. The results should be published and insights gained taken back and shared with congregations. This obviously cannot be done by force or motivated by hatred.

Only through interreligious dialogue will the bridges of understanding begin to emerge. We simply cannot bomb the entire Islamic world into submission. We have to reach out.

In conclusion, what I'm saying is that I believe the problem is ultimately ideological in nature. Judaism, Christianity and Islam all agree that there is only one God. If moslems and jews and christians would pray together, I'm sure God would gladly answer with a vision that would transform humanity.

[marbren]

Your one world religion is coming.

[mrtysmm]

With the anniversary coming very shortly, many are going through terrible times. Reliving the trauma of the day and changes that day made for so many....the world is a very place. Love and prayers to all who have and are suffering.

[LibWhacker]

I am more of an absolutist than you are and came to terms (of sorts) with Islam some time ago, not that that helps me worry any less about it. I believe we are witnessing the beginning of the final chapter of a great clash of civilizations despite all the pollyannish PC denials to the contrary. I believe it will be a fight to the finish and that there can be no truce.

The civilized world is completely incompatible with Islam. We cannot accomodate their views. They cannot accomodate ours -- or anyone else's. The survivor of the clash will determine the course of human history from roughly this time forward. The loser will play no part in the remainder of that history. The only question for me is will America realize it in time to save herself? I do not know, but am fairly pessimistic about the outcome because of all the democrat traitors in our midst.

[marbren]

God will see how we treat Israel. If we turn our backs we are doomed.

[CDHart]

"The world HAS gone crazy."

One of my favorite sayings is "the world has become a lunatic asylum and the lunatics are in charge!"

Carolyn

[marbren]

There is hope. It is a free gift from God. I have this hope. I will live forever in peace.

[boris]

"The civilized world is completely incompatible with Islam. We cannot accomodate their views. They cannot accomodate ours -- or anyone else's. The survivor of the clash will determine the course of human history from roughly this time forward. The loser will play no part in the remainder of that history. The only question for me is will America realize it in time to save herself? I do not know, but am fairly pessimistic about the outcome because of all the democrat traitors in our midst."

I concur. I hope that if one or two "9/11s" of equal or greater magnitude happens, it will finally wake us up and end the denial. That--at a minimum--is what it will take.

I am increasingly pessimistic.

--Boris

[Movemout]

I do not question your sanity. I share many of your thoughts and worries. I have dealt with it in my own ways. One of the most important, to me, is to remind myself that if the world erupts in a total orgy of killing, then I will take up arms and do what is right until I am dead. I am comfortable with that idea since I spent many years as a military professional. It may not be as comforting to you.

[LadyDoc]

I agree with the others.

You need to pray.

Now, maybe you don't believe, but "belief" in the US often means a fuzzy emotion. It is not. It is the intellectual decision that there is a larger reality, and that someone else is in charge, and that in the long run things will work out for the good.

When I was in college, the "cold war" was assumed to be lost, and anti US sentiment was rampent. Students loved red China, Cuba, and felt communism was the way of the future. But when I expressed my worries to a friend from India, she pointed out that people just won't live forever in a tyranny, and that in the long run they will express themselves to be free and raise their children in peace. It took India 300 years to decide to do this against the English, and that undoubtably the Russians etc. would also do this. And she was right: Twenty years later, people stood up and said no, and the berlin wall fell.

ALL countries have a tradition of folk tales where God (or someone else in charge) helps those fighting against tyranny. The bible is full of it. The ancient tales of India tell of this. Europe is full of such tales, such as Robin Hood.

It is telling that the "book of the century" according to a British poll was not the nihilistic PC books but the book "the lord of the rings" which tells of a group that opposed tyranny.

So if you don't believe, or can't pray, you might study history and learn the lessons of the past, or read the stories that tell of a long struggle of humans who long for justice and freedom. And you will find that these tales echo the idea that we live in a terrible world of suffering, but that there is joy in the morning.

And there is someone or something in charge that helps us so that the evil will not prevail.

[LibWhacker]

I hope that if one or two "9/11s" of equal or greater magnitude happens, it will finally wake us up and end the denial.

Yes, me too . . . In that regard I think 2004 could be the most critical election in the nation's history. If Dubya loses, it'll be an utter disaster; I can't see any of the democrat candidates responding adequately to another 9/11, or to a nuke or bio-attack by al Qaeda. And we know that as long as al Qaeda is still around they'll keep trying and will probably succeed at some point.

[djf]

It always surprises me that people believe that the Crusades are new. Not so. There have been horrific was going on for centuries.
"The survivor of the clash will determine the course of human history from roughly this time forward. "

Might makes right?
Or maybe it's desperation, on both sides.

[LadyDoc]

I should also add: you might also see a doctor.

Some people have obsessive/compulsive tendencies. This personality makes people good business people. But under stress, it can become exaggerated into a chemical imbalance.

Then we see the vicious circle of worries consuming a life, and then the daiy living deteriorates, which increases the worried. Certain medicines can help break the cycle, not to "tranquillize" a person, but to make the person more in charge of his/her life, i.e. more normal. It is a fine line. We have tranquillizers that make people not care about anything, but a good doctor rarely uses them. We usually need to find something that makes a person be normal, i.e. their normal self, just like medicines help an arthritic function normally, not be a superathlete, or a diabetic to be able to function.

[djf]

Not even close.

[Captiva]

Hang in there double T! You are very sane and well thought out.

You think our generation has it bad? Imagine being alive before the middle ages when you live for maybe 30 years - all the while under someone's rich guys thumb.

There have been wars that have lasted for hundreds of years when your day consisted of finding the next meal!

Stay strong, be prepared to kill your enemies in defense before they kill you and live everyday (spiritually) like it's your last!!

[.30Carbine]

I so sympathize with you in your turmoil. I give in to it every now and then, but by the grace of God I overcome and persevere in these darkening days, where evil is called good and good evil. No wonder, following his vision of the end times, Daniel was sick for three days.

My husband, a very wise man, whom the Lord gave me in answer to my prayers for a spiritual helpmate and leader, reminded me just last night that my "practice" is all that matters. What he refers to as my "practice" is:

Bible reading, for truth and wisdom to counter the lies and foolishness we hear and see daily
Meditation - upon His Word, His attributes (power, holiness, justice, mercy), His deeds and His promises - for perspective
Prayer, for clarity, for connection to and communication with the Almighty through His Spirit in the Name of Messiah Jesus
Fellowship with like-minded Believers for refreshment in companionship (two are better than one) and the aid of their prayers

My dear husband reminded me that if I am concentrating on these things I will be aware, prepared, and able to be of use to my Master and to others.

A pastor I was listening to yesterday reminded me that there are "Orbiting Christians" who get close to Jesus and find an orbit, content to revolve at that same distance for their whole lives; but the happy Christian is the follower, who chases hard after the Living God.

May the Holy Spirit guide you into the Way, comfort you with the Living Presence, and remind you of God's character, word, deeds, and His many fulfilled and yet-to-be-fulfilled promises.

[Jim Noble]

And that is that the pressure of always having to be on guard, always having to demonstrate superior strength against the onslaught of Arab hatred, may be impossible to sustain forever

Finally, a sensible comment about the situation Israel is in.

Israel cannot "sustain forever" this kind of pressure. There are being valiant, in a courtly, Victorian sort of way-it's almost Christian, all this turning the other cheek until there are no cheeks left.

There are two choices that exist in the real world:

1) Defeat their enemies. Not outnegotiate them, not get a meaningful UN resolution (as if there were such a thing), not get the Americans to intervene-start killing and scourging the Arabs, man, woman, and child, and don't stop until any pirate chieftain left is on his knees at Yad Vashem begging forgiveness for the sins of whatever people are remaining.

2) Start the evacuation.

The longer the choice is delayed, the more Jews will die.

[Conspiracy Guy]

Don't worry, be angry and believe. I reposted my feeling here on FR in Feb 2003 in the form of an open letter I wrote in Nov 2001. Click here

[didi]

You are not a whiner or a crybaby.

I have had the same feelings. I quit using the computer or watching television for about six months. Only checked my e-mail on the computer for about six months after that. It helped a lot. I also paint.

I have the same feelings about Israel. I was raised to understand the Lord's covenant with Abraham from the Bible in a way that convicted me to always stand for, or defend, Israel, which may seem silly to some, or to many. It grieves me to see the attitude most of the world holds toward Israel, and I fear the consequences for our nation if we abandon them.

I have come to the conclusion that, for me, to realize that I have little impact or power to change any of the animosity between the Islam world and Israel. It is a conflict that will not be resolved through peaceful means. God is sovreign, His will is what will happen, HIs plan is what will unfold, no matter what schemes men contrive. I can pray, and I can speak up for Israel's right to defend herself. I do feel that, as a believer, that is an obligation. The atmosphere I live in is not as difficult as yours, though.

You are obviously a very bright and thoughtful person. I will pray for you, and encourage you to turn off the media for a while, ban yourself from sites that are upsetting to you. Take a break. Have peace.

[palmer]

I don't understand all this pessimism. The Arabs have only pawns (the "Palestinians") while the Jews in Israel are mostly knights and bishops. The attrition is terrible but seems manageable to me.

[CaptSkip]

This should be required reading for all who think they should write a Vanity. Well done tictoc, and prayers to you.

Lots of thoughtful people have been obsessed and depressed for 2 years now. My therapist's effective advice is to stay away from the news as much as possible or it will eat you alive.

Actively look for distractions, and look to your faith.

[reveille]

Thanks for that and I wish I could offer any advice, but I can't.

[Jim Noble]

When you can use pawns to kill knights and bishops, you win the game.

[lawgirl]

Turn your TV off and go outside. Only allow yourself an hour of TV news a day. That's what I had to do to wean myself from the news after 9/11. I had the TV on for a week solid - I would have to force myself to turn the TV off because I was so afraid I would miss something happening if I turned it off. My mom came over to help us paint our house and finally said "let's take a break". The freedom was exilarating when I turned the TV back on later that day and realized the world didn't end while I was painting my living room. ;)

Remember- the news is always bad. You never hear about the positive things going on. Our media's coverage of Iraq has shown me that. I listen to anything but FoxNews and you'd think it was collapsing. Then you come to FR and read emails from guys over there and realize things are going very well- we just have a media that hates our country and hates our president and is going to do whatever it can to destroy him. This includes LYING and DISTORTING!

[boris]

"It always surprises me that people believe that the Crusades are new. Not so. There have been horrific was [sic] going on for centuries. "The survivor of the clash will determine the course of human history from roughly this time forward. "

Might makes right?
Or maybe it's desperation, on both sides."

Might does not make right; but it does make winners. And the winners write the history books.

--Boris

[TigersEye]

I wonder if my vocal defense of Israel, on the Internet and in personal encounters, is doing good.

Undoubtedly! This piece that you have written is wonderful. Very well done from start to finish. It strikes a chord that all of us are familiar with and in the best traditions of FReeping includes links to vital points. (And it's formatted nicely too. ;) ) I only wish you would retitle it so it would be more widely read.

And round and round I go. This is extremely unhealthy.

It certainly can be. I have to echo what others have said; find some balance. Turn off the news, engage yourself in some enjoyable activity on a regular basis.

My work and livelihood is severely impacted because of all the time I spend obsessively reading, discussing and thinking - looking for a "way out" but not finding one.

Whatever your work may be, whether it's mowing lawns or translating for a conference of world leaders, it is important that you do it to the best of your ability. It is important for you and important for those you do it for. When the job is done it is done and time to let it go and look to the needs of yourself and those close to you. Bring the best of yourself, with a sense of optimism and joy, to everything you do. If the world rails against that then you know you have pricked the enemy with the dagger of truth. Stand firm and, with neither joy nor malice, push that dagger into the heart of that darkness.

Stick to your principles no matter what happens. Whatever your religious or philosophical beliefs are you can't deny this; this world is temporary. We're all gonna die! Die happy and proud of what you have made of yourself. It does make a difference!

[TigersEye]

Might makes right?
Or maybe it's desperation, on both sides.

Ya think?

If an armed thug attacks an armed citizen on a crowded street there's likely to be desperation on both sides ... and all around them too.

[Pan_Yans Wife]

I heard conservative radio host Glenn Beck state that a change in Islam must come from within... this is the only logical answer he could come up with, and he expounded upon it at length.

When the vast majority of the Muslim world does not denounce terrorism, does not believe in the right of survival, does not believe that Israel should exist, does not believe that the Great Satan and the Little Satan deserve mercy, does not believe that Arafat is a terrorist, believes that America should become a Muslim nation, etc... there is no other answer. Radical, militant Islam is silent when it comes to a call for peace.

We can all try to reach out to the Muslim world, we can all try to explain that our Western call for Democracy is not based upon a religious crusade. But, when September 11th happened, the jihadists rejoiced. If they see this as a religious war, then that is truly what it is. All we can do is defend ourselves, protect our interests, and offer our strength to Israel.

Your passionate concern on this issue shows that you haven't forgotten, and never could forget in the future. That in itself shows that your spirit calls for justice. In the end, justice will prevail.

Best wishes.

[Pan_Yans Wife]

Heartfelt ping.

[Tac12]

Hey, grow up, do you really believe that?

[my_pointy_head_is_sharp]

I went out of my way to find writers with Arab Muslim names advocating peaceful coexistence with the rest of the world including Israel. They were few in number, and most appeared to be apostate in reality if not by admission.

I've said it here before, the silence of the moderates is deafening. That makes them complicit.

[my_pointy_head_is_sharp]

I notice that you're focusing on the Jewish/Muslim problem exclusively. There are a lot more problems in the world than that. I'll start the list and you can add to it ad infinitum: SARS, AIDS, West Nile virus, cancer, hunger, civil war in Africa, Muslims bombing not only Israel but all over, abortion, etc. ...

This is just to show you that there are a lot of problems in the world. I don't know why you're focusing on only one of them. These problems, and others still unknown, will continue long after you and I are gone. There are always going to be problems - and severe ones. We just have to make the best of what we have while we're here.

I don't know if that makes you feel better or worse - that's just the nature of the world.

I suggest you take a break from the news - as others have suggested. You really need it at this point. You're burned out with worry. Go on vacation. Take up a hobby. Go dancing!

I'm also a worrier, and I'm following my own advice. I just started continuing-ed classes at college. First one was last night - fun!

[Mind-numbed Robot]

In preparation for a response I read all everyone else has said to this point and I also checked your personal profile. Your profile is in harmony with what you write here. I agree with others, you write, think, and express yourself well. Many have offered good advice and mine will be only slightly different.

It seems to me that, being daily bombarded with condemnation of what you believe and praise for what you disbelieve, you have developed a feeling of hopelessness. Developed may not be the right word, that you have been conditioned into a sense of defeat and hopelessness may be a better description. That is a natural reaction.

What you and all of us need is a sense of confidence that good really does overcome evil. It is hard to develop confidence when the majority who agree with us are rarely heard and the opposite view is blasted at us continuously. That is true here in the U.S. as well as in Europe.

You also need to be confident that we really are on the side of good and that evil is not just some abstraction of confusing words and subtle linguistics, but is a real force that is what it says - EVIL.

The battle between good and evil is as old as man. The ME has been the birthplace of Judaism, Christianity, and Islam. It has simultaneously been a vicious battle ground between them and evil ever since. However, with that as a background, the present conflict is a continuation of the resistance by the West to the drive for world domination by the Communists of the USSR and China. The Communists used the creation of Israel as an opportunity to exploit age old animosities between the Jews and the Arabs in order to drive the West out of that oil rich area. That would weaken us and strengthen them. The Arabs were admirers of Hitler and of Stalin, being tribal leaders accustomed to being dominant themselves, so they quickly embraced and cooperated with the Communists. We are still fighting that battle, but with the fall of the USSR they have adopted the Wahabbi Islamists as surrogates so they are not front and center, but it is still the same enemy - evil. (They are learning that snake will strike them just as readily as their enemies.)

Are Communists and Islamists evil? Communism came to power and stays in power through lies, deception, terror, genocide, torture, imprisonment, and the total suppression of individual freedom. Is that evil?

The Wahabbis are identical in tactics but differing only in that they are honest abut what they are doing and they incorporate God into their schemes where the Communist suppressed religion altogether. Since they do the same as the Communists, are they evil?

The Communists in the USA, still deceptively masquerading as the Democrat Party, are stalled in the stage of trying to gain power through lying and deceiving while also undermining the foundations of our society. They have made progress but so far we have held them at bay. Yet, if they gain total power the outcome will be the same and we have already agreed that is evil.

You know what you believe and you know the history of the United States, so satisfying you that we are good is not necessary. Therefore, common sense tells you that the battle between good and evil is basically a battle between the USA and most of the rest of the world. You should be happy to be on the side of good.

That said, can we win? We can if we keep strong, moral, America-loving people in office. Whether or not George Bush and his administration are as conservatively pure as many would like, he is the kind of person we need to win this battle for the survival of Western civilization.

He has taken the battle to the terrorists. If able to continue on his course we will defeat them and change their cultue in the entire ME. I am confident we will be able to stay on course, conditioned on our friends both at home and abroad realizing that survival is far more important than Medicare, the Education Bill, Free Trade, and all the other things they get their noses out of joint over. We must win this war above all else. I am confident we will.

The conflict between good and evil will go on forever. Prosperity and freedom are hard to shepherd through the many temptations they bring. Evil is always unencumbered in the battle for power while goodness is always hamstrung by rules, morals, and decency. It is an uneven fight.

Why then does goodness and freedom (there is no goodness with out free choice) always win, eventually, and why do they then gradually morph into what they overcame? Ask God because I don't know. I do know, though, that we must always fight the battle and stay ever vigilant. The ironic thing about the ongoing battle is that being good is far more satisfying than being evil or even carelessly slothful in our lives. Good just feels better. But as I said, Satan has the upper hand as far as we humans are concerned so our weakness shouldn't be surprising.

The battle between good and evil is what we are engaged in and it will be the same battle our progeny will be fighting. It doesn't matter whether the top dog is the USA, Russia, China, a new Ottoman empire, or whomever, the battle is always between good and evil.

I don't know if this is helpful or not. Getting grounded in what is the truth and what is not has helped me in the past. Confidence in your position is what you need, IMHO. From there, peace will come and you can then be yourself. Remember, you are good, you are supporting good, and good always wins. The others are evil and must eventually fall. Stay strong. Keep the faith.