Clark calls for a new American patriotism (BARF ALERT)

NY Slimes ^ | Sept. 22, 2003 | Eric Schmidt

[SAMWolf]

<===Mash This

french Army to Market "Ultimate Surrender" Video Game

Paris - Inspired by the commercial success of the United States Army’s "Boot Camp" video game, the General Staff of the french Army has announced plans to market "Ultimate Surrender," a video game based upon the proud military traditions of the Gauls.

In the game we follow the exploits of Lucky Pierre, an apprentice garlic salesman from Marseilles, as he joins the french Army and begins a rigorous course of combat training.

The First Level of the game is called "Survival School," and the players have to help Lucky Pierre survive 24 hours without red wine or crème brulé.

The Second Level is "Capitulation," and the goal here is to see which player can have Lucky Pierre surrender the fastest without firing a shot or getting his uniform dirty.

Level Three is "Collaboration." Here the players battle to see who can collect the largest numbers of pairs of nylon stockings and packages of chocolates by having Lucky Pierre perform sexual favors for members of the occupying forces.

Level Four is "Be Ungrateful to America for Rescuing Your Sorry french Ass Once Again." In this extremely challenging part of the game contestants vie with one another to see who can make Lucky Pierre behave in the surliest manner when the United States inevitably comes to the rescue of the defeated french.

The Final Level is "Pretending to Have Been in the Resistance." Here contestants compete in a battle of tall tales and whoppers as they try to protect Lucky Pierre from treason charges.

Marketing tests show that "Ultimate Surrender" is a big hit with french teenagers and young adults who are too young to have experienced france’s lightening surrender to the Germans in 1940 or its defeat by the Vietnamese in 1954 at Dien Bien Phu. "Zees is a great tool to inspire ze patriotism in ze youths, n’est ce pas?" said General Jean-Jacques Loseur, Commander-in-Chief of the french Army, during his weekly press conference. "Since ze end of ze Cold War we french have not had many opportunities to surrender or to show great cowardice in the face of much weaker opponents."

When questioned about comments made in the french Chamber of Deputies that "Ultimate Surrender" makes the french Army look like a bunch of gutless mama’s boys, General Loseur pulled out a white handkerchief, put his hands over his head and said, "Oh heck, I give up."

[snippy_about_it]

ROTFLOL!!! Thanks Matthew, funny!!!

[SAMWolf]

LOL!

If Europe needed an enema, france is where you'd insert it.

[SAMWolf]

I don't understand what the "advantages" are to being in the E.U.

[SAMWolf]

For Poland's sake I hope so too.

[paul51]

but how is supporting the UN patriotic, psycho boy?

Mary! Mary, help me out here. Mary!?

[Imal]

"What I consider negative is the insinuation that under the current administration, patriotism has been equated to following orders."

Careful there, or the Loyalty Police will get you. ;^)

Personally, I consider it the duty of every American to keep a critical eye on the doings of our government, since we are the final "check and balance" against tyranny. And lately, it seems we've been falling down on the job, if you ask me.

There is a very big difference between honest political dissent, however, and lies, slander and unmitigated attacks upon the character of the United States, its leaders and its people. Constructive criticism is valuable and should be cherished, but opposing everything America does simply because it is America doing it is nothing more than mindless antagonism, devoid of any value whatsoever except to the enemies of the United States.

Defaming the United States is not patriotic, and no amount of lies or distortion will ever convince me that it is.

People who love the United States are patriots. People who hate the United States are its enemies. Simple enough to understand.

[MinuteGal]

Give me that old time religion
And that old time patriotism
And that old time sovereignity
It's good enough for me.

It was good for our founders
It was good for our fathers
It was good for our mothers
And it's good enough for me.

Take your "new patriotism" and stuff it, General Weasely Clark!

Leni

[Gritty]

I think Weasley Clark needs to find a VP running mate quickly.

Captain Yee comes readily to mind as a nice fit!

[Sparta]

Why is the Serbian general wearing that war criminal's cap?

[Smile-n-Win]

Defaming the United States is not patriotic, and no amount of lies or distortion will ever convince me that it is.

Well said.

[Smile-n-Win]

It's enough to look at the map to realize that after enlargement of the EU without Poland, my country would be a hole between two large strong blocs - the EU and Russia. In the contemporary world no country can be an economical island.

Yes, the "economic isolation" argument is frequently used to explain why we "must" join the EU. But being outside the EU has never meant economic isolation, and never will. You don't have to surrender your sovereignty in order to trade with other nations. That kind of "trade" would in fact not be trade at all, but slavery.

I hope we'll be able to stop this madness! I hope it's not too late!

The problem is that the people of nations like Poland or Hungary do not yet fully know what the EU is really all about. The media and the politicians have been telling them the EU is the future. They do sense that there is something fishy about it--that's why they were so reluctant to say "yes" in the recent referendums--but they have yet to be confronted by full extent of the EU's socialist authoritarianism. Then they'll know it's better to stay out of this pathetic club of loosers--but by then, of course, it will be too late to part peacefully.

Seems like this is a lesson our nations will have to learn the hard way.

[SAMWolf]

Poland haasn't changed it's currency to the Euro yet, has it? Or is that only for EU members. When I first heard about a plan for a common currency for different countries I thought "there's the first step to giving up your sovereignty"