Skip to comments.~Saying good bye~
Posted on 09/23/2003 6:48:59 PM PDT by carlo3b
~Saying good bye~
Dealing with loss, and surviving...
Learning to live with death, divorce, absence, separation, and change. Escaping uncertainty, fear, loneliness, bitterness, emptiness, anger or hate.
Grief, and how to cope, is far too difficult a topic to stumble upon with simple words. No one, least of all me, could possibly understand the full range of pain, or the depth of emotion each of us feel at that dreadful moment when we experience a real loss. Dealing with the loss after all, is a vital first step on the long journey to healing. Each of us must confront this necessary and painful process to discover our own way to continue.
Accepting the loss of someone or something is the first step to healing, hope, and future happiness.
With any loss or life altering change, we must accept our emotions. We have to allow ourselves to face the inevitable truth, a sorrowful fact that something dear to us has ended, or someone we love has departed, and nothing will ever be the exactly the same again. That is the hardest part, taking the first difficult step, is facing the facts.
We must develop an understanding with the new reality. We have to accept the truth, and with the truth we can prepare to begin again.. We must start over. There has to be a time to grieve, and a time to mourn. Fear of change is the hardest part, but it is a beginning, and we must begin again."Fear is that little darkroom where negatives are developed."Grieving, is our tribute to true love.
Finding a way to say good bye doesn't mean that we have to learn to forget. Our loved one will never be forgotten, nor must we rush to resolve what the loss has meant. Love lasts forever. Falling in love takes time, and it grows. Slowly, and carefully we allow ourselves to fall deeply in love and finally, with passions and emotions aside, we discover the warmth and gentleness of enduring and everlasting love.
True love will be in your heart forever, but pain of loss doesn't have to. What we must learn is to survive the emptiness, the absence, the silence... We need to to learn to live on with the memories of better times, and find our peace in our everlasting love..
Our loved one may have departed this life. They have not abandoned us, they remain in our pleasant memories. But, they have advanced us into a better place.. in eternity there is no pain, there is a place were they are at peace. We will meet again.. in that peaceful place."We cannot change anything until we accept it."Mourning is forever, there is no real ending point, no time limit. It requires work, and time. It does get better. It does become livable. But the experience of a profound loss, changes us in profound ways. Love held you together in life, and it will hold you together after things change. Little things remembered will trigger moments of sadness, but it will also bring back a warm memory of a happier times. We have to give balance to those strong but competing forces. Strolling down memory lane can bring a tear, but it will remind us of that deep and abiding love that only a very few ever experience. How fortunate you really are, to have lived in the rarefied air of true love...
-C. G. Jung, Psychological Reflections"If you have loved once, you can and will again.. Only a true lover can find love in all it's hiding places"Mourning, and missing are a natural and personal process that only you can set in motion. It cannot be rushed and it cannot happen without your participation. But eventually, and strangely, everything begins to come together, pieces fit and are found that seemed to be forever missing. One day, without notice a soft light begins to emerge and a whisper of life sprouts.. life will return, and you will find peace..
-C J Morelli"People only see what they are prepared to see."Regret, is the longest and loneliness road to heartbreak, bitterness and defeat.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
One of the most difficult experiences one can confront, is that of a sudden loss. The one that didn't have to be. Someone taken, at once.. and forever. No one is prepared for that. All we can to do to protect ourselves against those unavoidable but tragic happenings, prayers help, but actions are better.
Everyone has to protect themselves against the potential, maybe even the probable, or is it, the eventual... LOVE my FReeper FRiends, love is what is important, showing and accepting love today, NOW, will save the agony of regret tomorrow... and forever..
However, the loss that arrives unnoticed, and sleeps in your bed, and eats at your table, the one that avoids confrontation, and says nothing much at all. I speak of the cruel loss of omission.. Allowing a love to die slowly, malnourished.. loss that comes from the pain of neglect.... Love today as if there will be no tomorrow...
Living with loss is difficult enough without having regret. Most of us take life and living for granted, and why not, what could change.....
I love you...
By Chef Carlo J. Morelli, Falling Leaves from the Diary of a Single dad
Just tell 'em that they'll have the world's shortest and most unlamented funeral when their time comes.
The only way to get out of your own misery is to reach out to others. That's not cold advice, that's the best. Get involved in your local volunteer programs, sports groups, and yes, even a church. It's called pulling yourself up when you've been smacked so hard you can't see straight. There's always something you can give, no matter how trivial it may look at the time, and in doing so you can forget about your own all-too-real miseries for a while.
When my children were younger, they had a wonderful recreation center to go to, for organized sports, or to just hang out.
Our city decided every recreation center should rotate its' employees, which meant the loss of a couple of great men at our recreation center who had been there for at least 10 years.
These men knew every child by name, and which child was trouble. They were our neighborhood connection. Their office belonged to the children and the children loved it, and them.
When we knew we were losing them, despite petitions, I knew it was the end of a season in life, and I felt alot of sadness.
We brought cakes and cards and took pictures. The rec center has never been the same.
I am thankful for these men who touched many lives, sad that they had to leave.
For all of you who show kindness and live a giving life, believe me, it is noticed.
Blackened Red Snapper
We have two grown children and they are very dear to us and my daughter and hubby have a 19 year old daughter and a 15 year old son and the loss of those two would destroy me for sure but I pray that at age 70 I will never have to face that moment...
Thank you my friend.. it's good to know...
Wow.. That man has heart.. Thank you
,,, now, that's a good one! Thanx for posting it.
About 4 years ago when I was dealing with the loss of someone very close to me - my freeper friends (my freeper FAMILY) was definitely here for me. Their thoughts and prayers were so important - and helped me so much through it all.