Aging Actor Tony Randall Fantasizes About His Funeral

http://ap.tbo.com/ap/breaking/MGA1QFTLZKD.html ^ | Sep 24, 2003 | Joe Carey

[GluteusMax]

WASHINGTON (AP) - Actor Tony Randall has a fantasy: when he dies President Bush and Vice President Cheney show up to pay their respects but they're turned away - because his family knows he didn't like them. Feeling his own mortality while suffering a cold, Randall, 83, made his remarks as the National Funeral Directors Association announced a new code of ethics for its members, beginning in 2004.

Funerals should be planned as a celebration of life and "a touch of humor doesn't hurt a bit," Randall said.

A comedian, Randall is best known for his role as Felix Unger in the 1970s sitcom "The Odd Couple."

He said his 6-year-old daughter, Julia, is old enough to appreciate the subject of death, and actually revels in it.

"She loves to talk about death," Randall said. "She loves stories about death. If I start a story, she says 'Does anyone die in this?' and I say 'No,' she doesn't want to hear it."

[GluteusMax]

This man obviously has a much higher estimation of his worth than the rest of do.

[joyce11111]

What a FOOL

[Dog Gone]

Oh, I didn't realize he was a lefty, too. I should have guessed.

I've got a better dream for you, Tony. You die, and nobody cares.

[Billthedrill]

We went through this with the Wellstone thing - if someone is gracious enough to show up at one's funeral despite past differences, it is the mark of total lack of decency and civility to turn him or her away. A funeral ostensibly celebrating life ought to show some respect for the living even if it has no respect for the dead.

[Ditter]

He is 83 & has a 6 year old daughter? In his dreams.

[RoughDobermann]

83 years old with a six year old daughter, eh? Lovely...

[martin_fierro]

"Tony Randall's character on 'The Odd Couple' was just as gay as the character on 'Will & Grace' but no one ever said it. Think about it: You have these two men living together, and one of them has every stereotypically gay trait you could think of.


--ROSIE O'DONNELL in USA Today, 9/24/03

[ChemistCat]

Anyone else see child abuse in this story?

Of course, MJ still has his kids, what are they, Paris, Prince, and Blanket.

[Harmless Teddy Bear]

He said his 6-year-old daughter, Julia, is old enough to appreciate the subject of death, and actually revels in it. "She loves to talk about death," Randall said.

Kids are morbid little creatures. What is Randall's excuse?

[Paul Atreides]

It is so weird, watching those Doris Day/Rock Hudson/Tony Randall movies and realizing that Rock was the homosexual. I would have on Tony Randall.

[Paul Atreides]

I would have on Tony Randall. = I would have bet on Tony Randall.

[GluteusMax]

Anyone else see child abuse in this story?

You mean beyond subjecting her to weird mind-warping Liberalism?

Yeah, I thought of that right away too. The whole "She loves death" thing is CREEPY.

[sgtbono2002]

I never watch Rock Hudson movies any more or Van Johnson movies either.

[Thinkin' Gal]

Actor Tony Randall has a fantasy: when he dies President Bush and Vice President Cheney show up to pay their respects but they're turned away - because his family knows he didn't like them.

That is some fantasy. Unlike the Klingons and the DiMaggio family, Bush and Cheney won't be demanding to horn in on the funeral, just to cry fake tears in front of cameras. The Dimaggios where right to slough off the creepy carney folk. Tony Randall is no Joe DiMaggio. What an ego!

[Paul Atreides]

Why, is Van Johnson a poof?

[HitmanLV]

Tony Randall is a classic - this is a cheap shot by him, but I have always been a fan.

Randall is 'Mr. New York.' I've bumped into him at the opera and classical music room at the W 4th St Tower Records, on the Subway, etc.

He is an oldschool NYer - hopelessly liberal, in that NYC way. I wish he wasn't, but he clearly is.

His is a cool guy and a class act, notwithstanding this cheap shot.

[FastCoyote]

What if someone gave a funeral, and nobody came?

[Paul Atreides]

Tony Randall falls into two categories:

1. I thought he died years ago.

2. Who?

[HitmanLV]

Tony was happily married to the same woman for over 30 years or so, I think, and they lived in NYC.

A few years after she passed on, he entered a relationship with a much younger woman (she was barely 30 I think, and he was past 70). She is a very pretty, buxom woman - I have bumped into Mr Randall and both alone and with his bride in Manhattan over the years. Nice folks.

I actually think they have two children. If you took a look at his bride (who dotes on him lovingly as been reported widely) I can't imagine he would have any problems rising to the challenge , if you know what I mean!

[MasonGal]

Oh - those old Doris Day and Rock Hudson movies (along with old musicals) are what I watch when I need a little change of pace from political shows. It's my "escape"!

I didn't know about Van Johnson, though. OH well...

[passionfruit]

I expect that our President and Vice President will have better and more important things to do when this guy dies.

[shaggy eel]

,,, why is this crap even being quoted? Old actors with a good track record can survive on their past merits. Has beens with few claims to fame seem to have to pass judgement on politics of the day to get attention once they're washed up. Randall probably does lunch with Babs Streisand. This article of Joe Carey's is really overstimating the depth of Randall's importance.

[HitmanLV]

R O'D's remark is comepletly wrong. Felix Unger wasn't gay at all, in fact he was a quiet and understated ladies man on the show.

Often episodes would show his angst over his love life (with his ex-wife or other women) going wrong. He more often than not impressed the ladies, though in a quiet way. There is no question Felix loved women.

R O'D stinks.

[Paul Atreides]

There is nothing like having a Republican President to bring all of the has-beens out of mothballs. Just take someone, who couldn't get casted in a pet food commercial to save his life, let him trash a Republican, and suddenly it is newsworthy.

[Steely Glint]

Tony who?

[tiamat]

I don't know if it is really that the kid "loves death". Lots of kids go through a morbid stage.

My daughter gets odd fascinations: one year she became fascinated with poisonous creatures, and every where we went, every picture she saw, the litany was : " Is it poisonous? HOW poisonous? If it bit me would I die or is there a cure? "

She did the same thing with rabies . Got so that anytime we went to the zoo it would be ; "No lions aren't poisonous. These ones don't have rabies because they get taken care of.... YES! I'm sure! "

Lately her thing has been diseases. And wanting to know symptoms. LONG conversation about Bubonic Plague.....which only lead to parasites, and rats, ( which have rabies)

Really odd, because she is such a cheerful affectionate kid and doesn't come off as ghoulish otherwise!

Tia

[Paul Atreides]

According to people like Rosie, the majority of people are homosexuals, and the minority of people are borderline.

[Steely Glint]

And Van Johnson was gay? Sheesh.

[GSWarrior]

My grandfather was 70 when he fathered my Dad. He wasn't a fem-bot, however.

[sushiman]

Some of my friend's wives used to think I was gay because I was 30 , single , didn't have a steady girlfriend , and was still living with my Mom in the big house on Long Island . Proved them wrong in 1987 when I was 34 when I married my Japanese wife Masumi .

[Yeti]

He is 83 & has a 6 year old daughter? In his dreams.

It's true.

I was at a friend's house once and O'Reilly was on(this was a while back, when he used to be fresh), and he had Tony Randall as a guest, and I was amazed! He was in his eighties and he looked mid/late fifties. He said he takes vitamins. He said he likes to eat gourmet, like in the finest restaurants. He said the secret to his apparent youthfulness is "a young wife." In her early thirties. I'm all for it, so long as it's someone else's daughter, not mine.

In this article the quote comes off odd, but I bet if you could hear him say it, it would probably make a different impression. He's got a classy way about him that's not pretentious at all, very candid and engaging.

I was working at this lady's house today, she is in her nineties, but I would have guessed 65. She golfs and travels. No sign at all of any kind of mental deterioration. Finishes the crossword and the Jumble every morning. Her youngest son is older than my father. Anyway when I was talking about Tony Randall's conversational attitude, I just realized that this woman is the same way, very classy without much pretense or exaggerated affect, and very candid and engaging. And intelligent, both of them.

[HitmanLV]

Haha! Rosie has some problems! Tony Randall & Felix Unger were both straight!

Tony's character in 'Love Sidney' was gay, though.

Tony is a national treasure - Mr. New York, all the way. I will always be a fan.

[aculeus]

He is 83 & has a 6 year old daughter? In his dreams.

He's not dreaming. After his first wife died he married a former theatre intern -- forty (?) years younger -- and impregnated her.

[ChemistCat]

It's the she-loves-death thing I was speaking of. She has been taught to be in love with the fact that she's not going to have a dad before long.

[martin_fierro]

Eh, a pox on both their houses.

[Ditter]

I don't care how virile the old f*art is, he talked bad about President Bush. Maybe the milkman did it.

[Steve Eisenberg]

83 years old with a six year old daughter, eh? Lovely...

Assuming young Mommy married old man Daddy for the inheritance, I suspect she is now earning every penny.

[exit82]

Tony Randall--an odd couple even when he is alone.

[GluteusMax]

ping

[Consort]

I never liked him.

[GOPJ]

Is this how liberal hollywood types turn their children into drug addicts?

He said his 6-year-old daughter, Julia, is old enough to appreciate the subject of death, and actually revels in it.

"She loves to talk about death," Randall said. "She loves stories about death. If I start a story, she says 'Does anyone die in this?' and I say 'No,' she doesn't want to hear it."

[Ichneumon]

Aging Actor Tony Randall Fantasizes About His Funeral>/I>

That reminds me, I haven't watched "All That Jazz" in a long time, I should do that soon.

[strela]

Actor Tony Randall has a fantasy: when he dies President Bush and Vice President Cheney show up to pay their respects but they're turned away - because his family knows he didn't like them.

If Randall has a plot already in mind, his people should consult with the same companies that install septic tanks. I've got a good idea for the design of the gravestone as well:

[DaughterofEve]

I agree. I'm a Tony fan from way back when, and have had a few interactions with him myself, always kind and classy. It is such a bummer to hear your faves trash other things you believe in, isn't it? :-(

[Cacique]

Hey Tony. Drop Dead!!

[Brian Allen]

tiny who?

[Brian Allen]

<< It's the she-loves-death thing I was speaking of. She has been taught to be in love with the fact that she's not going to have a [Surviving male parent] before long. >>

Which causes another couple of the most-frequently-occurring symptoms of the "liberal" psychosis to spring to mind:

Child Abuse and;

Narcissistic Personality Disorder.