Which of course means that the White House has been controlled by the wrong Party, not that the schools are filling kids up with useless leftist dogma that makes them unfit for any sort of public office...
In higher education circles, Robertson vs. Princeton University is the kind of epic lawsuit that could make Ivy League history.
The dispute is simple: Members of the Robertson family, heirs to the A&P supermarket fortune, are unhappy with how Princeton officials have spent their late parents' enormous donation to the school and want the money back.
What sets the case apart is the amount involved ($600 million), the stature of the players (one of nation's wealthiest families and one of the world's most prestigious universities) and the severity of charges (misuse of funds, fraud and a 40-year cover-up).
Experts say that if the increasingly nasty case, one of the largest "donor intent" lawsuits ever, makes it to court, the public could get an unprecedented behind-the-scenes look into the world of elite institutions and their wealthy benefactors.
"This case is unique for Princeton, unique for higher education," said Peter McDonough, the university's general counsel.
The list of supporting players is a who's who of higher education. Nearly 60 individuals have given depositions or are scheduled to do so, including three former Princeton presidents and some of the nation's top scholars.
Though case isn't scheduled to go to trial for 16 months, the Robertsons already have spent $5 million in legal fees, and Princeton officials say their tab is approaching that level. If the case makes it to trial, those costs could double.
Amid the backdrop of the lead plaintiff sitting in Roseland last week for three days of depositions, the Robertsons and Princeton officials blamed each other for forcing what should have been a closed-door dispute into the courts.
"We are in full battle mode," said William Robertson, the family's eldest son and a 1972 Princeton graduate.
Robertson, of Naples, Fla., is president of the Banbury Fund, another foundation established by his parents. That foundation (named after the street where his parents once lived) is financing the Princeton lawsuit. But Robertson said family members will put up personal fortunes to fight Princeton if needed.
THE 'X FOUNDATION' The relationship between Princeton and the Robertsons began much more positively.
In 1961, Marie Robertson and her Princeton-graduate husband, Charles, anonymously donated $35 million in A&P stock to a foundation that would fund the university's Woodrow Wilson School of Public and International Affairs, one of the nation's most prestigious public policy schools.
The school, named after the former Princeton and U.S. president, was founded in 1930. Its graduates include Senate Majority Leader William Frist (R-Tenn.) and numerous diplomats and ambassadors. The Robertsons' gift, to be used to train international diplomats to work in public service, was at the time the largest ever given to an American university by an individual party.
The donors kept their identity and that of the foundation secret for nearly a decade. The family finally acknowledged its donation after Marie's death in 1972, partly to quash rumors that the mysterious "X Foundation" funding the school was the CIA.
Through the decades, the Robertson Foundation had been run by a board of three family members and four university officials. Under their management, the gift has grown to $600 million.
Starting in the early 1970s, however, the family began clashing with Princeton over the number of international-relations professionals being produced by the school.
The Robertsons said Princeton was ignoring the mission and using the endowment as a "slush fund" for other projects. Though three family members sat on the board, the lawsuit contends Princeton officials misled them on how money was being spent.
The breaking point came when Princeton officials moved to bring in the university's investment company, PRINCO, to make investment decisions for the endowment, replacing William Robertson and two other board members.
William Robertson, his two sisters and their cousin filed a lawsuit in 2002 demanding the university give back their family's gift.
Princeton officials denied any wrongdoing and said they were honoring the Robertsons' wishes and even giving the family more control over money than required.
Princeton argues in court papers, "The university trustees have done their utmost to respond to the family trustees' requests for information, suggestions for changes in operating procedures and expressions of concern about the foundation's mission."
But William Robertson compares Princeton's actions to the corporate misdeeds of Enron and said his parents would have been horrified.
"I have been amazed by the amount of the misappropriated funds, the university's complete disregard for the mission of the foundation and the resentment shown toward donors," Robertson said. "My parents were betrayed."
McDonough, Princeton's general counsel, said the case is deeper than just a rich family fighting with a rich university. There are serious questions about who controls charitable donations, "issues that touch upon academic freedom, public service, corporate governance, institutional governance and fiduciary duties."
LEGAL ARMY Private giving is a serious, though secretive, business at the nation's colleges and universities. Princeton, which has an $8.7 billion endowment, is one of the best in the country at attracting gifts from wealthy alumni. Its last capital campaign, which concluded in 2000, attracted more than $1 billion in donations over five years.
At public and private colleges, donations fund everything from new buildings to professors' salaries and students' scholarships. Skirmishes between wealthy donors and university officials are rare but not unheard of.
Few, however, make it to court.
Last year, Boston University agreed to transfer a businessman's $3 million donation to two charities rather than face a lawsuit. The donor, David Mugar, had been feuding with school officials over refurbishing a campus library named after his grandparents.
For Princeton to give the money back to Robertsons would be unprecedented and could open doors for similar requests.
Princeton President Shirley Tilghman has been adamant that the Robertsons' gift belongs to the foundation run jointly the family and the university, and that the late donors' relatives cannot unilaterally dictate its fate.
The two sides are now in the discovery phase of the case, which is tentatively due to go to trial in March 2006 in the Chancery Division of New Jersey Superior Court in Mercer County.
Last month, the court ruled the Robertsons could amend their original complaint to add fraud charges, opening the door for the family to sue for millions of dollars in punitive damages in addition to the return of the $600 million.
The family has not alleged any criminal wrongdoing, but Seth Lapidow, an attorney for the family, said a copy of the lawsuit was sent to the state attorney general, who is routinely kept up to date on cases involving charities.
For now, a small army of lawyers is sorting through 40 years of documents and correspondence and questioning dozens of current and former Princeton administrators who have been directly or indirectly involved with the endowment.
"This is serious business. We're arguing about a corpus of $600 million and what we believe is fraud going back to 1961," Lapidow said. "Its scope is vast."
McDonough, Princeton's general counsel, called the discovery period "very intense and aggressive." The university brought in one of the state's top law firms, Lowenstein Sandler in Roseland, to handle the litigation.
Meanwhile, the business of managing the endowment continues. University officials and family members still meet every few months to make decisions about the money, which continues to fund the day-to-day operating expenses at the school.
The closed-door meetings, according to both sides, are tense and swarming with lawyers.
INTERESTED SPECTATORS Princeton officials won't say what will happen if they lose the money. The Woodrow Wilson School of Public and International Affairs, which enrolls about 170 graduate students, relies on the foundation for about 70 percent of its operating budget, according to the lawsuit.
Princeton could dip into its ample endowment or find another benefactor, but it would be difficult to match the Robertson fund.
Should Princeton lose, William Robertson said, the family is more than ready to give the foundation's money to other universities willing to use it to train foreign diplomats.
Perhaps not surprisingly, Robertson said, "a couple of schools have approached me."
He declined to elaborate.
It's too bad. When you give money away, you no longer own it. The recipient can do with it what he wishes: otherwise the gift is a sham, and non-deductible for tax purposes.
Of course, this is the scandal with many tax-exempt foundations which are just ways for rich people to get tax breaks for doing with their money what they would want to do anyway. T. Heinz-Keery is an example, with her pet foundations.
Princeton will not have to give the money back, and the A&P heirs will have to go scratch. Maybe they can get jobs loading groceries, or working in the check-out line.
I wonder how Ann Page feels about this dispute? ;-)