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OK, dear it might fix my headache
The Australian ^ | October 3, 2003 | George Gordon

Posted on 10/04/2003 10:57:31 AM PDT by demlosers

WOMEN are duty-bound to provide their husbands with sex on demand, claims a controversial book on achieving wedded bliss.

Wives have a "loving obligation" to have sex whenever they are asked for it - even if they are not in the mood, says American author Dr Laura Schlessinger.

The 56-year-old sex therapist and radio host says marriages will survive and improve if men are viewed as a "gift from God".

And she urges women to stop nagging and whining, saying: "Be honest girls, that's what we do".

Her book, The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands, will not be published until January, but it has already been labelled "outrageous" by feminists, marriage experts and psychologists.

Dr Schlessinger, who has a PhD in psychology, has written 60 books on marriage and attracts 100 million listeners every week to her radio show.

Her moralistic views have often clashed head-on with those who view marriage as an equal partnership.

In her latest book, she writes: "If husbands are expected to go to work and earn money and visit relatives they don't like, why can't wives put out on demand?"

Marriage counsellor Jennie Bergat condemned Dr Schlessinger's remarks.

"It is outrageous. Women have a right to be tired and if a woman is not in the mood, a man should respect that," Ms Bergat said.

"When you sign a marriage certificate you don't surrender privacy and rights. She is declaring that women are chattels to be used at the man's whim."

The Australian


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Extended News; Miscellaneous
KEYWORDS: drlaura; lauraschlessinger; nagging; sex; whining
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1 posted on 10/04/2003 10:57:32 AM PDT by demlosers
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To: demlosers
This should be an interesting thread.
2 posted on 10/04/2003 11:01:31 AM PDT by Dog Gone
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To: demlosers
"It is outrageous. Women have a right to be tired and if a woman is not in the mood, a man should respect that," Ms Bergat said.

Lay down and shut up!

I never get to say that in my house.

It felt good.

Hey Rhoda ................ (((((((((SMACK !!!!))))))))

3 posted on 10/04/2003 11:02:33 AM PDT by G.Mason (Lessons of life need not be fatal)
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4 posted on 10/04/2003 11:03:03 AM PDT by Support Free Republic (Your support keeps Free Republic going strong!)
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To: Dog Gone
Actually, a thread dealing with the book and a different complainer came out a few days ago.
Yes, it was an interesting thread.
5 posted on 10/04/2003 11:03:33 AM PDT by fqued (Arnold, in spite of a "vote for Tom McClintock being a vote for Pia Zadora.")
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To: fqued
Bummer, I missed it.
6 posted on 10/04/2003 11:04:58 AM PDT by Dog Gone
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To: demlosers
I pretty much agree with this - women bitch all the time because they are home with their own children - husbands battle traffic, and demanding jobs to support the women so they CAN stay home and raise their children. They come home to caotic homes, whining wives, and no sex.

The liberal feminists have convinced women that sex is demeaning and should only be offered to husbands as a reward for doing as they say.

Sex should be a major part of a marriage, not end once the kids are born.

7 posted on 10/04/2003 11:05:20 AM PDT by WhyisaTexasgirlinPA
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To: Dog Gone
Thats not quite how the good Doctor put it. I've heard her remarks on this subject while she spoke with a caller who complained that her husband became upset when she wasn't "in the mood". Dr. Laura told her not to be suprised when he left her for a woman who was more often in the mood.
8 posted on 10/04/2003 11:07:20 AM PDT by Camel Joe (Proud Uncle of a Fine Young Marine)
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To: demlosers
At least two different versions of this story have already been posted here. Just one more example of a self-proclaimed expert stating what should be painfully obvious--and what everyone's grandmother knew by the time she was married.
9 posted on 10/04/2003 11:07:58 AM PDT by independentmind
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To: Camel Joe
Victorian era marriage manuals encouraged not-in-the-mood wives to noisily and aromatically use the toilet right before going to bed, as a deterrent to amorous hubbies.
10 posted on 10/04/2003 11:09:00 AM PDT by NativeNewYorker (Freepin' Jew Boy)
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To: independentmind
Exactly - and look how the divorce rate has risen since that time.

If we took a poll here I'm sure it would prove that few married men are having sex more than once or twice a month - and some, sadly, would say "wow, they get it THAT often?"

11 posted on 10/04/2003 11:10:31 AM PDT by WhyisaTexasgirlinPA
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To: demlosers
"If husbands are expected to go to work and earn money and visit relatives they don't like, why can't wives put out on demand?"

Bears repeating.

12 posted on 10/04/2003 11:12:03 AM PDT by Centurion2000 (Virtue untested is innocence)
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To: WhyisaTexasgirlinPA
more than once or twice a month

TYPO. You meant "...once or twice a year...", right? :)

13 posted on 10/04/2003 11:14:01 AM PDT by NativeNewYorker (Freepin' Jew Boy)
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To: demlosers
I'll probably get whacked for this, though I'm not sure if by the men or the women. But there IS an elementary difference between men and women. Women, as the Roman elegiac poets pointed out and any sexual therapist will tell you, are ready any time. Men are only ready when they're ready.

When Juno and Jupiter had an argument about this, Juno said it proves that women are superior.
14 posted on 10/04/2003 11:16:22 AM PDT by Cicero (Marcus Tullius)
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To: NativeNewYorker
I vaguely recall having sex decades ago before I got married.
15 posted on 10/04/2003 11:17:29 AM PDT by Dog Gone
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To: WhyisaTexasgirlinPA
If we took a poll here I'm sure it would prove that few married men are having sex more than once or twice a month - and some, sadly, would say "wow, they get it THAT often?"

Ahem. Maybe that's because they spend too much time on the internet.:)

Seriously, I have learned that people who frequent internet discussion groups are not necessarily representative of the general population.

I have to say, though, that I was more than somewhat surprised by a conversation I had with a young woman who works in my office. It seems that several of the young married women who work there have no physical relations with their husbands, and have no qualms about discussing it. Pitiful.

16 posted on 10/04/2003 11:17:48 AM PDT by independentmind
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To: demlosers
OK, dear it might fix my headache

I once had a girlfriend that said that....ahh....I was the cure for her when she had a sore throat. :)

17 posted on 10/04/2003 11:18:55 AM PDT by StriperSniper (The socialist revolution is almost complete.)
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To: demlosers
Women have a right to be tired and if a woman is not in the mood, a man should respect that," Ms Bergat said.

Typical response from a feMEnazi. Me, me, me, and last but not least, me. This underscores one of the biggest problems with today's generation of women; it's all about them and their fatigue, their rights, blah, blah, blah. Women have a right to be tired? How quickly the feMEnists bitch about men whey they're tired and don't want to do things that women want.

"When you sign a marriage certificate you don't surrender privacy and rights. She is declaring that women are chattels to be used at the man's whim."

No she isn't. I've heard countless calls to her program from women who didn't want to, married to men who did. She does not advocate chattelhood or doormat status to his sex drive. She does advocate showing love to your man because YOU LOVE YOUR MAN; one's treatment of one's spouse should not be dependent on something as irrational and changing as one's mood. I suspect this article dragged out the most provocative quotes without the supporting material to keep it in context.

18 posted on 10/04/2003 11:19:24 AM PDT by Lizavetta
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To: demlosers
...and attracts 100 million listeners every week

This seems like an exaggeration.

WOMEN are duty-bound to provide their husbands with sex on demand

Geez, if I thought this wasn't part of the job description, I doubt I ever would have made it to the altar. Aren't they also duty bound to dress in sexy clothing, keep their hair nice, and NEVER EVER wear flannel ANYTHING to bed?

I think there's also a rule around here somewhere that says when you are getting ready to go to a wedding and reception or some similar affair, the lass is NOT supposed to say, "You're not planning to wear that are you?"

19 posted on 10/04/2003 11:22:30 AM PDT by stevem
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To: demlosers
Ms. Bergat said, ".....declaring that women are chattels to be used at the man's whim"

Maybe that's what Ms Bergat thinks of her own relationships with men, but for her to try and project such a thought on others is a sad commentary on her.

20 posted on 10/04/2003 11:24:23 AM PDT by P.O.E.
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To: demlosers
Wimmin should have sex when I want it and knit me a sweater and cook me dinner and make babies.

And bake me a PIE. Dammit.


21 posted on 10/04/2003 11:31:07 AM PDT by Lazamataz (I am the extended middle finger in the fist of life.)
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To: stevem
"...and attracts 100 million listeners every week"

This seems like an exaggeration.

100 eleventy skadillion zillion is an exaggeration. 100 million is pocket change.

22 posted on 10/04/2003 11:32:42 AM PDT by Lazamataz (I am the extended middle finger in the fist of life.)
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To: Lazamataz
I don't think I'm quite to that point but people seem to tell me that my attitudes are more in line with 1940'-1950's men than modern men
23 posted on 10/04/2003 11:34:51 AM PDT by Centurion2000 (Virtue untested is innocence)
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To: StriperSniper
I tell my hubby he can cure a dry tickle.........its funny how those seem to strike me when he is on the phone with his mother.
24 posted on 10/04/2003 11:34:59 AM PDT by EuroFrog (Im going to Disneyland!)
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To: demlosers
"When you sign a marriage certificate you don't surrender privacy and rights."

Lately, for men, it seems they do SURRENDER privacy and rights......and I say that as a woman. Too many women FEEL it is their RIGHT to determine WHAT marriage is (make the rules all by themselves).....TOO BAD they end up divorced.....and wonder why....LOL.

25 posted on 10/04/2003 11:35:32 AM PDT by goodnesswins (Free People are NOT Equal; EQUAL People are NOT FREE.)
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To: demlosers
"It is outrageous. Women have a right to be tired and if a woman is not in the mood, a man should respect that," Ms Bergat said. "When you sign a marriage certificate you don't surrender privacy and rights. She is declaring that women are chattels to be used at the man's whim."

What I strongly suspect Dr. Laura was *actually* saying wasn't "women have no right to refuse", it was probably more like "ladies, whenever possible, do your hardworking husband a loving favor even if it's not the first thing you feel like doing at the moment."

A man *should* respect it when his wife says "no", but Dr. Laura's point is probably that the wife shouldn't get in the habit of saying "no" more than she really needs to.

And of course, the same goes for men, who likewise should make every effort to be a good husband and father in all the ways they can.

26 posted on 10/04/2003 11:37:27 AM PDT by Ichneumon
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To: StriperSniper
once had a girlfriend that said that....ahh....I was the cure for her when she had a sore throat. :)

Oh my! I do believe you are speaking of my Italian Cousin, Messr. Oral Fellatio.

27 posted on 10/04/2003 11:38:08 AM PDT by Lazamataz (I am the extended middle finger in the fist of life.)
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To: stevem
What's wrong with flannel?
28 posted on 10/04/2003 11:38:40 AM PDT by lafroste
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To: demlosers
This was posted the other day.....LOL.

I think that Laura did not mean under any circumstances, but she did touch on a responsibility that couples have toward each other.

I think it goes both ways.

I believe like with anything else in life, you get as good as you give or you get in direct proportion to what you put in!

Just common sense talk.

29 posted on 10/04/2003 11:39:55 AM PDT by Cold Heat ("It is easier for an ass to succeed in that trade than any other." [Samuel Clemens, on lawyers])
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To: Lazamataz
100 eleventy skadillion zillion is an exaggeration. 100 million is pocket change.

Not really -- 100 million would be over one third of every man, woman, and child in the United States. I really don't think that 1 out of 3 Americans listens to Dr. Laura in a given week (or tunes into *any* radio or TV show).

30 posted on 10/04/2003 11:40:59 AM PDT by Ichneumon
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To: WhyisaTexasgirlinPA
If we took a poll here I'm sure it would prove that few married men are having sex more than once or twice a month - and some, sadly, would say "wow, they get it THAT often?"

Evidence is against you.
Adult Americans "do it" on the average of about 115 times per year. That's a bit over twice a week.

Also, according that gigantic study of sexuality that came out about 8 years, ago, the best and most frequent sex is WITHIN MARRIAGE.

Now, obviously, there are SOME marriages that are near-sexless, and those stories may be repeated and repeated, but the EVIDENCE is as I have stated.
31 posted on 10/04/2003 11:45:48 AM PDT by fqued (Arnold, in spite of a "vote for Tom McClintock being a vote for Pia Zadora.")
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To: demlosers
"Dr Schlessinger, who has a PhD in psychology, has ..."

Physiology, as in exercise kinesiology, movement-range of motion, etc NOT psychology.

32 posted on 10/04/2003 11:51:53 AM PDT by Khurkris (Scottish/HillBilly - Revenge is an Art Form for us. Ranger On...)
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To: WhyisaTexasgirlinPA
I pretty much agree with this - women bitch all the time because they are home with their own children - husbands battle traffic, and demanding jobs to support the women so they CAN stay home and raise their children. They come home to caotic homes, whining wives, and no sex.

Thank you for confirming my wisdom in remaining a bachelor.

33 posted on 10/04/2003 12:00:33 PM PDT by WackyKat
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To: demlosers
GO LAURA
34 posted on 10/04/2003 12:04:05 PM PDT by TheCrusader
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To: Ichneumon
What I strongly suspect Dr. Laura was *actually* saying wasn't "women have no right to refuse", it was probably more like "ladies, whenever possible, do your hardworking husband a loving favor even if it's not the first thing you feel like doing at the moment."

That is what she was saying. The whole point of it was that spouses should do things that make their mates happy even they would rather do something else.

This, of course, works both ways and she talks about that too. But it makes so much more of a splash when you leave that part out.

35 posted on 10/04/2003 12:05:43 PM PDT by Harmless Teddy Bear (The universe runs through the complex interweaving of energy, matter, and enlightened self interest.)
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To: demlosers; RnMomof7; Dr. Eckleburg; CARepubGal; snerkel; DittoJed2; TrueBeliever9; drstevej; ...
women get tired, too...

They do.

There's no hard research on the point. Does more sex bond a man more to one woman and reduce infidelity and enhance home atmosphere?

LADIES: If it were absolutely true that sex on request:
1. Bonds your husband more to you.
2. Significantly reduces probability of infidelity
3. Certainly Enhances the home atmosphere (relational)

would you be willing to have sex on request? (or would you have been willing to have sex on request?...if that applies better)

This will be just anecdotal, but it will be interesting to see responses?

36 posted on 10/04/2003 12:05:59 PM PDT by xzins (And now I will show you the most excellent way!)
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To: Cicero
"Women, as the Roman elegiac poets pointed out and any sexual therapist will tell you, are ready any time. Men are only ready when they're ready."

The Roman poets never heard of Viagra back then.

37 posted on 10/04/2003 12:09:13 PM PDT by TheCrusader
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To: demlosers
"WOMEN are duty-bound to provide their husbands with sex on demand, claims a controversial book on achieving wedded bliss."

Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive. Wedding cake.

38 posted on 10/04/2003 12:12:34 PM PDT by TheCrusader
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To: wirestripper
you said "I believe like with anything else in life, you get as good as you give or you get in direct proportion to what you put in."
I couldn't agree more!!! Recently celebrated my 55th wedding anniversary.
39 posted on 10/04/2003 12:15:09 PM PDT by upcountry miss
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To: wirestripper
"I believe like with anything else in life, you get as good as you give or you get in direct proportion to what you put in!"

Feminism changed all that.

40 posted on 10/04/2003 12:17:12 PM PDT by TheCrusader
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To: Cicero
Women, as the Roman elegiac poets pointed out and any sexual therapist will tell you, are ready any time. Men are only ready when they're ready.

Interesting point.

41 posted on 10/04/2003 12:21:44 PM PDT by what's up
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To: My Favorite Headache
*ping*
42 posted on 10/04/2003 12:22:17 PM PDT by kstewskis (...not implying this has to do with any of YOUR headaches, LOL!)
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To: demlosers
Wives have a "loving obligation" to have sex whenever they are asked for it - even if they are not in the mood, says American author Dr Laura Schlessinger.
Yeah. Yeah. Standard Jewish Orthodox teaching on sex. I read a book by a rabbi entitled Kosher Sex. This is one of the points he made. But Jewish Orthodox get about two weeks a month off from getting groped or fondled or even touched at all--their days of separation. So by the time they ritually purify themselves in that giant tub of Godly goodness (called a mitsvot or something), and become available for sex again, both partners want it so badly that moods are simply not an issue.
43 posted on 10/04/2003 12:30:25 PM PDT by Asclepius (karma vigilante)
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To: demlosers
My Husband suddenly became a Dr. Laura fan....
44 posted on 10/04/2003 12:34:00 PM PDT by sweet_diane ("Will I dance for you Jesus? Or in awe of You be still? I can only imagine..I can only imagine.")
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To: WackyKat
Hey - not all of us are stupid......
45 posted on 10/04/2003 12:36:36 PM PDT by WhyisaTexasgirlinPA
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To: Centurion2000
"If husbands are expected to go to work and earn money and visit relatives they don't like, why can't wives put out on demand?"

Let's see:

"a husband is expected to work" - and this is saying that a wife's day isn't spent working. Many women work outside the home, many women work, i.e. take care of children and the home, many women work from their home, take care of the kid and homeschool too (I am in the latter group).

"visit relatives they don't like" - so the husband doesn't like the wife's relatives, but the wife always likes the husband's relatives? In my case the mother-in-law lives with us and I am the primary caregiver, since the husband is off at work (lucky him).

"wives put out on demand"-if you mean "provide a body" for the husband to have sex with, we'll then I have no issues. But if you mean that the wife shows up mentally, physically, and emotionally for an intimate encounter with her husband, then it's not going to happen on demand.

Luckily my husband prefers that all of me (mind, body, and emotions) shows up for sex, and therefore doesn't demand.

With kids, jobs, in-laws, etc. intimacy takes planning, but we have a long standing marriage and a genuine "like" of each other, as well as love with each other.

46 posted on 10/04/2003 12:39:21 PM PDT by dawn53
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To: lafroste
What's wrong with flannel?

It's just a violation of fundamental rules. Lace is fine, just about in any format.

Silk is OK. Can't complain to much about silk.

I've rarely had objection to much of anything miniscule or, perhaps, the maximum in air conditioning.

The wife once had the nerve to show up in flannel long-johns. That's all together different. So I thought it crucial to put my foot down, so-to-speak. That was when rule number one had to be established. So far, it hasn't been violated in any of these live long years.

47 posted on 10/04/2003 12:51:09 PM PDT by stevem
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To: Centurion2000
"If husbands are expected to go to work and earn money and visit relatives they don't like, why can't wives put out on demand?"

That might be fair as long as the wife is not working to also support the family,is the primary care provider for the children, and also does all the cooking and cleaning to boot. Oh, and may I add not having to spend time with his crappy relatives also.

48 posted on 10/04/2003 12:54:38 PM PDT by foolscap
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To: dawn53
Your husband sounds like a fine man.

And you sound like a very fine woman as well.

49 posted on 10/04/2003 12:58:16 PM PDT by what's up
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To: Asclepius
Very good point and a very civilized practice.
50 posted on 10/04/2003 12:59:25 PM PDT by foolscap
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