Should I Cover My Hair, God?: One Woman’s Reflection

Kimberly exuded gentle feminine grace even in her most rambunctious moments. Raised in a quiet Mennonite community, she was one of only two women on campus who wore a “prayer covering” over her chestnut mane. And yet she was not the least bit self-conscious about it, even while performing on the student worship team.

I admired Kimberly’s innate ability to draw people to her, make people love her. Shortly after graduation, she married a classmate and they prepared for their first term of mission service in China. She had utter confidence in her God and her young husband. Most missionary couples had one or two children. In the last Christmas letter I received from Kimberly, they had four and were expecting their fifth.

Then about a year ago, I heard that Kimberly and her parents were killed in a car accident in China. My friend’s death caused me to contemplate my own faith and vocation. In her short lifetime, Kimberly had dedicated her life to serving the Lord, and faithfully lived out that call. I knew there was more to her faith than the fact that she covered her hair in church; nevertheless, I began to think about how that action characterized her life and faith, and wonder whether I should follow her example.

The question of head coverings is not often brought up in Christian circles anymore. St. Paul’s admonition in 1 Corinthians 11:4-12 is generally interpreted as a cultural bias rather than a spiritual principle — even by those who take great pains to interpret nearly every other passage of Scripture as literally as possible. The alternative, it is supposed, is to relegate half the human population to second-class citizenry in the kingdom of heaven, fit for nothing but dishing up Jell-O salads and washing dishes at church suppers.

Still, I felt the Lord asking me to take this step of faith, and cover my own hair when I went to church. At first I felt self-conscious, as few other women in my church wore hats. But God richly blessed my feeble step of faith. As I continued to study the words and actions of Jesus and the Apostle Paul, a light dawned: The “hiddenness” of the covering is an expression not of weakness or inferiority, but of a woman’s true strength and God-given purpose: to be a true partner in the redemption of the world.

The humble obedience of the Virgin Mary brought about the greatest of all Christian mysteries: Through the Incarnation, for the first time in human history, we could truly see and touch the Divine. Mary’s genes determined the shape of His eyes, the curve of His jaw, the wave of His hair. Hers were the hands that held His own, leading Him out into the world to explore and learn long before the world would discover Him.

Just as Mary’s miracle started with a simple act of obedience, my own adventure in “covering” bore fruit almost immediately after I decided to take God at His Word. I became more conscious of my appearance, pulling on hose and a touch of lipstick instead of running for the car in whatever I had grabbed that morning. What is the point of looking like a woman from the eyebrows up, if I let the rest of myself go? My insides began to change, too: It was impossible to yell at my kids for dawdling or reprimand my husband for wearing the “wrong” shoes to church, I discovered, while wearing my covering. The lightweight cotton made me keenly aware of angels’ eyes upon me.

Time and again in the Gospels, it is the women who recognize divine life in the man Jesus. With a word from His mother, Jesus launched His public ministry (see Jn 2:1-7). The radiant countenance of the Samaritan woman at the well, along with her public affirmation of faith, compelled the crowds to see for themselves the Savior of the World (see Jn 4:42). In the Gospel of John, the tears of the Magdalene prompt the Risen Christ to reveal Himself to her before His other followers (see Jn 20:15-16).

Similarly, within the Church, the humility of the covering sometimes induces others to contemplate unseen mysteries. St. Paul wrote: “…any woman who prays or prophesies with her head unveiled, dishonors her head…” (1 Cor 11:5). There is no question that she may pray or prophesy — that is understood to be the task of every believer. And yet, by drawing attention away from her natural “glory,” she causes men and angels alike to avoid temptation. And by imitating Our Lady in drawing attention away from ourselves, becoming “other Marys” — altera Maria — we encourage our brothers to be more fully alter Christus each time we approach to receive the Eucharist.

This presentation, of course, extends to every aspect of life. We reveal the God of love when we extend ourselves with spiritual and corporal acts of mercy. We encourage children to trust our holy God by carefully instructing them both in words and example to follow Him in obedience. In a very real sense, as the “Body of Christ” we continue to reveal the hands and heart of God moment by moment, one person at a time.

Because of her uniquely feminine nature, woman instinctively understands how to transcend mere rationality to embrace deeper underlying truth. As wife and mother, she relies on her intuitive and relational powers to care for her family. As daughter of God, she sometimes perceives spiritual realities that are not always immediately apparent to her brothers. This intuitive power, combined with her instinct to place intellectual knowledge within the context of relationship, is the path to Wisdom. This may account, at least in part, for the reason the “wisdom literature” of the Old Testament presents Sophia (Wisdom) as a woman.

Jesus’s encounter with the woman at the well in John’s Gospel is a compelling example of this. She notices social peculiarities: “How is it that you, a Jew, ask a drink of me, a woman of Samaria?” (Jn 4:9). She engages Him with humor: “Sir, give me this water, so that I may never be thirsty or have to keep coming here to draw water!” (4:15). She is not put off by His bold exposure of her shortcomings, but seeks to “connect” the truth she is hearing with what she had always held to be true, until she is able to take the leap of faith and recognize her Messiah.

Another moving example is found in the eleventh chapter of John, at the death of Lazarus. While Mary sat at home, receiving visitors, Martha rushed ahead, struggling to reconcile the death of her brother with the love of the Master. Didn’t He know they needed Him? Didn’t He care? Her quiet words are both a statement of faith and a gentle reproach: “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died” (Jn 11:21).

“I know. He will rise on the last day.” But we want him with us now. Can’t you see that? Don’t you understand how much we love him, need him?

Jesus squares His shoulders, lifts His voice. “I am the resurrection and the life.... [W]hoever lives and believes in me shall never die. Do you believe this?”

Somehow, through the fog of grief and pain, Martha sees the light of revelation. “Yes, Lord. I believe you are the Christ, the Son of God, He who is coming into the world” (Jn 11:27). Only Peter would speak the words as plainly, his declaration prompted not by “flesh and blood,” but through the Father (see Mt 16:17).

The covering reminds the wearer of the hidden, highly intuitive path that leads us from knowledge to true wisdom. This is not to say woman is incapable of rational thought — clearly this would be an untruth. Nor is it true that all men are devoid of intuitive gifts. However, woman’s characteristic ability to “enliven” sheer rationality through her intuitive and relational gifts — and his ability to channel those gifts constructively with his gifts of systematic reason — is an exquisite example of the gender complementarity of God’s original design.

I was thirty-five years old when I met and married my husband Craig. Thanks to my music training, from the age of twelve I was active in a variety of churches. And so it is perhaps not surprising when I began to equate fidelity to God with visibility of service. There was always one more piano to play, one more choir to direct, one more Bible study to lead, one more event to plan. As a Catholic woman, I came to realize that God was far more concerned about the state of my heart, the things I said and did when no one else was watching.

The women Christ most admired in the Gospels were those who lived lives of courageous virtue that went all but unnoticed — or drew negative attention. He commended the courage of the widow who gave two copper coins to the Temple treasury (see Lk 21:2ff; Mk 12:42). He responded to the faith of the Canaanite woman, who trusted Him to make her tormented daughter well though they were not of the “house of Israel” (Mt 14:24). And He immortalized the love of the sinful woman who poured out her devotion, exposing herself to public ridicule (Lk 7:37ff).

The virtue of hidden service is not unique to women — indeed, Jesus proclaimed that to be first in God’s kingdom is to be “last of all and servant of all” (Mk 9:35). Similarly, He urged discretion in acts of charity, such that “when you give alms, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing” (Mt 6:3); and “When you hold a lunch or dinner… invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind; blessed indeed will you be because of their inability to repay you” (Lk 14:12-14). The hidden life of women is particularly suited to such powerful testimony in this life, and spiritual greatness in the next.

It is possible, therefore, to see Paul’s admonition on head coverings to be highly compatible with the liberating message of the Gospel. The most vital organs of the human body are covered with layers of bone and muscle and tissue, to protect the delicate functions for which the organs were designed. Similarly, women who choose to cover their heads — whether out of simple obedience, respect for their husbands, or as an expression of their feminine gifts — can regard their action as liberating, rather than degrading. It is a badge of honor, a symbol of joyful surrender, to all the gifts God wants us to have and use as women.

“It is not good for man to be alone,” we read in the Creation account. Biology alone does not account for this necessity of complementarity. Jesus — and Paul after Him — acknowledged the singular contributions of women by including them in His ministry, despite cultural taboos and prohibitions. Their actions and words may be lost to us in many cases — but they are not lost to the Father, who has promised to reward those who give and pray “in secret” (see Mt 6:1-6).

ping

Interested in your thoughts on the topic. Not just in hair covering, but in grooming for presenting oneself in the Lord's Presence. My family and acquiantances think I'm down right old-fashioned on the topic.

Women should have their heads covered, at least with a kerchief. Even those little decorative, and currently stylish, head kerchiefs they sell at Wal-Mart will do.

If the hair is supposed to be this covering, as is commonly taught today, then the men must shave themsevles bald, for it is a shame for them to pray with their heads covered.

The part of 1st Cor 11 that talks about the women's hair being the covering, is talking about the length of hair. The women's hair should be long enough to cover her shoulders.

Conversely, it is shameful for a man's hair to cover his shoulders. Any length above the shoulders is basically ok for a man. In fact, even a pony tail may be ok on a man, as long as his hair does not cover his shoulders.

Amish men typically have longish hair, though it does not reach to their shoulders, and their women wear the traditional Anabaptist bonnet, varying in style according to sect.

Out of curiousity where do you get these notions?

Other than men shaving their heads bald, I'm not one to disagree, although, I wear my long locks up more often than down.

You misunderstand.

Consider this verse;

1cor 11:4 Every man praying or prophesying, having his head covered, dishonoureth his head.

If the hair is supposed to be the "covering", as is commonly taught today, then men with hair are dishonoring their head (Christ), because their heads are covered with hair.

All I am doing is applying the logic of the common teaching
on this subject to an actual verse in the Bible.

As you can see, to teach that the hair is supposed to be the head covering is incaccurate.

Count me among the old fashioned. Proper attire expresses respect for Our Lord. I think that at a minimum one should be neat and modest. If we were going to the president's house, or to tea with the queen, or an audience with the pope we would dress in one of our better outfits would we not? Why shouldn't we do the same for Our God?
Scripture instructs women to cover their heads in church and I think this is more than a cultural injunction. While my adult daughters do put on a dress for church(on the rare occasion they go, that is)they refuse to "put on a burkha." They are amused that I always wear a hat, a scarf, or a veil.

I often wear a scarf or hat for Mass - less often in the summer, when it's very hot, and less often when I have a decent haircut :-). People stare sometimes, but I don't let it bother me. They stare at us because we have seven children and I'm pregnant again, too.

You're not the only one who does that trick...I wear hats and have several shawls I use, too, as well as scarves...but right now it's soo hot that I haven't done it as much.

Blessings always follow obedience. Unfortunately, obedience often brings the disapproval of the majority, even the 'christian' ones. You must decide which is more important- following God's commandments, or following the whims of man.
My family began observing the 4th Commandment (Remember the sabbath day...) several years ago. We have been absolutely blessed by this, but VERY few in the so-called christian community will even listen to our testimony.
There are many other principles available to us from scripture, which put us at odds with the rest of society, which bring God's blessing. Consider it a test of your faith.

As my hair gets shaggier, I reach the point that I don't even leave the house with my "mysterious Moslem of the Midwest" scarf. Eventually, my husband discovers time in his schedule for me to get a haircut!

If I had better hair, it would all be different, but I look absolutely ghastly if it gets more than four inches long ... like a big gray poodle with fleas.

I used think it was wrong to wear a head covering when I don't have a "conviction" about it - like that God is going to ZOT me if I don't - but then once when I was praying with my charismatic group back in Tulsa, I got the very clear impression that God thinks I'm pretty funny no matter what I do, and anything that gives the Big Guy a chortle is cool with me :-).

I often wear a scarf or hat for Mass - less often in the summer, when it's very hot, and less often when I have a decent haircut

There's a few young-uns in my parish who are wearing actual mantillas. There are a few older women who wear hats, but not many others. I was just curious.

The one nice thing about long hair - it takes exactly 10 seconds to "do it" and make it look decent. Bun in a scrungie keeps things very neatly in place.

My family began observing the 4th Commandment (Remember the sabbath day...) several years ago. We have been absolutely blessed by this, but VERY few in the so-called christian community will even listen to our testimony.

I've always followed that particular commandment (although I think of it as the third). The question is more on whether or not there is enough respect to dress appropriately at Mass or even Eucharistic Adoration. Some of us really take the time.

Another question is whether or not we see the "trappings" of feminine attire and presentation as being restrictive or freeing. That's more what this article is about.

If we were going to the president's house, or to tea with the queen, or an audience with the pope we would dress in one of our better outfits would we not? Why shouldn't we do the same for Our God?

Very true. It's the shorts and the flip flops that drive me nuts. It's not like you have to be uncomfortable, but at least looking decent.

it takes exactly 10 seconds to "do it" and make it look decent.

You couldn't say that if you were a poodle :-).

I have a chip-straw hat with a silk rose that I wear in the summer if I'm really dressed up, but that only happens when we split up the family so we don't have to wrestle kids the whole time, and if I'm not hugely pregnant or nursing every hour, which is practically never. Then I have a navy blue wool scarf which I wear all winter, because it's cold in our church. And I have a blue cotton scarf that I wear in warmer weather, if I get the urge.

My daughter's friends in the youth group asked her about it, and she told them I just have Hair Issues.

In the Old Testament Of the Bible, a womans hair is called her crown of glory-nothing in the New Testament refutes that.

Okay, but what does that have to do with covering one's head in the Lord's House?

I happen to have that philosphy myself (hence 25" hanging length as of the moment), but that doesn't speak to the humility of covering that glory while in prayer.

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