1 Corinthians 14:34-35: "...women should remain silent in the churches. They are not allowed to speak, but must be in submission, as the Law says, If they want to inquire about something, they should ask their own husbands at home; for it is disgraceful for a woman to speak in the church."
And your reply:
It's not a question of whether I allow it. My wife's deepest desire is to obey God's word.
Okay. This would indicate one of only a few possibilities is true. Among these possibilities:
1) Your wife does not speak in church. This would include during the service, during any religious functions at the church, Bible study, etc. The scripture reads clear on this point. If she has a question or comment about religion, she waits until you are at home and poses the question to you.
2) Your wife does speak in church, though it goes against her deepest desires to obey God's word, as it is "inerrently" communicated in the Bible. I can only assume, based on the circumstances, that this produces feelings of guilt and disgrace in her, and perhaps embarrasment and discomfort in you. But you both carry on in the hopes that this rule will be only slightly broken, or is not so significant in God's eyes (who can know for sure?) - or that God is not paying attention.
3) Your wife speaks in church, and has her own idea of what "God's Word" really is/means. She does not read 1 Corinthians 14:34-35 as God's Word.
I doubt you'll tell me which case it actually is, so I'll make a guess and keep it to myself.
Your post reminded me of Romans 1:22.