You forgot to post this classic from Pure Life Ministries.
> Q: How does masturbation affect a marriage? How can I know if my husband is still involved?
> A: Masturbation is very damaging to a marriage because it is self-centered in nature. Marriage, in all aspects, is a joint venture. When one partner goes in a direction that excludes his/her spouse, (especially with regard to sexual things) it causes a deep rift that ripples through all areas of the relationship. Masturbation is corrupting. Sex was never intended to be solo. I wrote the following in my book:
Men in sexual sin can be extremely smooth and very cunning. Most have perfected the art of deception and have led a double life for many years. Only the Lord knows the complete truth about what a man is really doing in private. Therefore, the wife must really turn to Him for help, but sometimes it's hard to know the truth about what's going on
Does he give vague answers, or does he seem sincere? Has he been angry, defensive or combative like he may have been in the past? How does he treat you and the kids?
What about his walk with God? Does he seem hungry for the Lord? Does he look forward to going to church, or does he look for ways to get out of going? Does he spend time with the Lord each day? Is he reading his Bible? Does he spend hours sitting in front of the television?...
"If he is truly walking in the light, there should be some signs of real growth. A man in sexual sin, regardless of his personality type, always acts different than one who has a genuine heart after God
I encourage you to use the questions listed above as tools to help you honestly evaluate your suspicions. If, after answering these questions, you still have nothing concrete to go on except a nagging sense that something is not right, get down on your knees before God. Deliberately put your husband in His hands. Then, ask Him to expose any secret sin that your husband might be involved in. Finally, pray that He sets you free from any life-dominating fear. Trust Him to answer your prayers.
I'm having a hard time finding anything to disagree with in that post. It seems quite reasonable. Perhaps I'm missing your point?