Free Republic
Browse · Search
Religion
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

NO MORE CHRISTIAN NICE GUY: WHY BEING NICE--INSTEAD OF GOOD--HURTS MEN, WOMAN, & CHILDREN [BK REV]
BOOK OF ABOVE TITLE FROM BETHANY HOUSE PUBLISHER | 2005 | PAUL COUGHLIN; Review by Quix

Posted on 08/28/2006 8:44:01 PM PDT by Quix

This book is excellent. It speaks to thoughts, feelings, facts I've long had strong similar to identical convictions about.

Excerpts from Dr Laura's Foreword:

" . . . sold more than one million copies of [I] The Proper Care And Feeding of Husbands [/I]"

. . .

"I expected a huge, ugly backlash. . . . the general public--especially the men--was incredibly receptive. What touched me the most was the sad, pained, resigned letters I received from so many nice men who were suffering deeply. These men explained that while they were deeply in love with their wives, those wives were literally on a countdown: When the kids were all grown and gone, the men were going to leave as well. Why? Because they were abused and neglected. The abuse did not take the form of physical violence; it was much more subtle nagging, criticism, berating, demeaning, dismissing, and rejecting that has become commonplace in American marriages where men are looked upon as side dishes, not the main course."

" . . . When Gloria Steinem enthusiastically proclaimed that 'Women need men like fish need a bicycle,' more than one generation of women was sent in the wrong direction in their search for love, security, bonding, and the joy of a quality marriage. Instead, women's organizations support behaviors that leave women alone and men designated as unimportant: unmarried sex as entertainment, shacking up without a commitment (marriage), single-mothering as a choice, abortions as birth control, no-fault divorce at will, men as oppressors or predators, and so forth. I often ask these women what they intend to say to their male children about their importance in this brave new female-oriented world. They don't have an answer."

"Because we hardly raise men to be anything masculine anymore, we have at least two generations of men who have no clue what it means to be a 'man.' Hence too many guys are, as I have lamented many times on my radio program, [I] males [/I] instead of [I] men. [/I]"

". . . Today's males have had their innate urge to provide and protect removed from their spines, guts, heads, hearts and souls."

". . . .The whole blame, in their minds, is on the men! Unbelievable! When I bring to their attention that for every step of the way (unmarried sex, all birth control has risk, living together without marriage, no spiritual center to their relationships) they were complicit, they get angry with me. It seems that women have been trained to have 'no rules' but still blame men when things don't go as their fantasies would lead them."

. . . .

"The bottom line is that men are blamed for their own and women's misbehaviors. Somehow that doesn't seem to be thmentality you'd expect from groups that espouse 'empowering' women."

" . . . It's clear to me that there isn't a consensus on what 'being a man' means. Women give mixed, confused signals and messages because women are basically confused between what they're being indoctrinated to want and what they really want. Clint Easwood, Keanu Reeves, Kevin Costner, Russell Crowe, Denzel Washington, and others are examples of strong, primal animal men. Women are drawn to such strength (epitomized by the high-school bad boys) because biologically, women are drawn to men who can provide and protect so that they can be safe raising their babies. . . . "

". . . . I can't tell you how many times I've had to remind men that they are [I] men [/I], and that this designation is not about biology; it is about strength, will, honor, courage, leadership, sacrifice, compassion, and love."

- - - -

Quote at the beginning of chapter 1:

"The ordinary man is passive . . . . Against major events he is as helpless as against the elements. So far from endeavoring to influence the future, he simply lies down and lets things happen to him.

--George Orwell

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Chap 1:

"WHat do you think would happen if Jesus were to appear at your church next Sunday and say to people what he says in the Bible?

'Hypocrites!'

'White-washed tombs.'

'Fools!'

'Dull.'

And 'a brood of vipers fit for hell!'

Given how [I] nice [/I] the church expects Christian men to be, I think we'd rush the pulpit and wrest the microphone from his hand. 'Tsk, tsk, tsk,' we'd mutter scornfully. We'd wag our fingers, reminding him of the supreme importance placed on manners and appearances in this holy place. Some women, reaching for soap bars to wash out his mouth, would recite our unofficial church motto: 'If you don't have anything nice to say, Jesus, don't say it at all.' [I] He really should be ashamed of himself.'"

"Shame is big in the church. Helps keep guys in line. Keeps their heads down. Keeps them humble. Supposedly."

"Actually, without shame, guys might be able to live the vital life God intended. This world would be a lot better.

"Instead, we have [I] passive, naive Christian Nice Guys.] [/I] We sit next to them in church all the time, not realizing their identity is being squashed, their will being broken, the lives of those who love and depend upon them being diminished as well. Everyone loses when we follow a false ideal."

". . . . Many sermons we hear are designed to make Jesus appear [I] always [/I] approachable, [I] always [/I] calm, and [I] endlessly [/I] patient. That's fiction . . . this mild Jesus has more to do with EAstern mysticism than with the gospel record. He did [I] not [/I] remain 'above it all,' emotionally hovering above us silly little humans. He got down in the muck and mire of life with us. He really lived; he really felt ey-watering joy and soul-crushing pain. He didn't assume the Lotus, drinking tea and finding us mildly amusing while trying to clear his head of conflict and division. Jesus, the dissident, brought the world both--the kind of conflict and division needed to shake things up for our own good."

"I created my own sanitized, unauthorized translation, [I] The Nice Guy Bible (NGB), [/I] which I continue to see a lot of other guys carrying around. I rewrote some parts and took others out of context to hide from God and from what he really wanted of me. I kept this distortion of Jesus neatly in my mind, the way a Nice Guy feels he should, until it was destroyed by an unusual and unexpected epiphany: Christ's humor. His blessed sarcasm helped me begin to see how he [I] actually [/I] lived and talked, as opposed to how I'd thought. A mental fog lifted. At last my life received a long-needed clarity. I neared the red-hot bonfire of truth, which warmed and saved me. A greater taste for life awakened."

. . . .

"Bill Hybels says that passive christians repel non-Christians from the faith:

[Hybels quote]:

I've learned through the years that seekers are not impressed with spinelessness . . . . Most of the time, seekers . . . . respect and admire christians who aren't afraid to take a stand . . .

Let me say it once more: Seekers have little respect for weak Christians. Deep down they're looking for somebody--anybody--to step up and proclaim the truth and then to live it boldly. (Becoming a Contagious Christian, 63-64)

- - - - -

"The convincing, repetitive message of my inherent worthlessness helped lay waste to my life in disasterous ways, stealing my passion, energy, and resources, and churning my gut, which is where resentment and anxiety live. . . . "

. . .

“The church told me to worry more about sin tan purpose, more about keeping up with appearances than searching for and embracing meaning. More about what I shouldn’t do than what should do. More about being nice than being good. Fear of failure, of falling short, of trying, but not being perfect, has us paralyzed, immobile, and,eventually indifferent. “

“Fear-based religiosity creates dangerous tension that ruins marriages, careers, children—sometimes even our souls. We [I] should [/I] avoid sin, for many reasons—that it separates us from God and from life are atop my list. [I] But so does the immobile life. It’s just harder to diagnose.” [/I]

. . . .

“Another who has noted the perplexing prevalence of Christian male passivity is theologian R. C. Sproul, who says,

‘When I became a Christian, I understood tha Jesus took my sin away. What I never heard from Him was that He intended to take my backbone away.’”

“ ‘Nice’ can’t confront this world’s sources of pain. Niceness makes people agreeable, not good. Somehow we have mistaken niceness for righteousness.”

. . . .

“The meaning of the word [I] nice [/I] is as unreliable as the people it describes. Today it is synonymous with ‘pleasant’ and ‘agreeable,’ but it has also meant ‘effeminate,’ ‘unmanly,’ ‘unable to endure much,’ ‘dainty,’ ‘reluctant,’ ‘ignorant,’ and ‘difficult to please.’ Nevertheless, remarkably, Christian men can be shunned in church and home if they are not unfailingly pleasant, agreeable, and in possession of impeccable manners. These attributes of niceness are taken to be expressions of a Spirit-filled life, yet none of these words or concepts are biblically mentioned as part of the Spirit’s fruit.”

“Besides, the mind of a Christian Nice Guy is anything but pleasant or agreeable. For reasons explained later, these men are often secretive and manipulative. They harbor hissing resentments, and, given all the games they feel they need to play just to survive, their wives ([I] If [/I] they can hold on to a wife) may come to question their own sanity. Though they inwardly exhaust themselves in their determination to hide it, they are easily irritated and frustrated. When nasty behavior surfaces, they may mistakenly or dismissively explain it away as the result of testosterone fluctuation or work place preoccupation. They may label it a kind of male menopause, which is the trend today, or give it a name like Irritable Male Syndrome, which largely ignores a profound spiritual component.”

“Appearances are deceiving, as this wife of a CNG laments:”

“Before we were married, he did all types of things to prove he handled issues. Two weeks after the wedding, off came the gloves. And he told me under no circumstances am I to open my mouth. I barely made it through the first year. I have struggled to stay married to him. . . . “

“His attitudes, mood swings, explosive screaming fits, all the things he has held in, all come out . . . .My husband tells me all the time he is just a Nice Guy. He isn’t, and he isn’t nice to be married to, either.”

There’s a 25 item quiz one can consider to measure their degree of likelihood of being a CNG. It’s worth prayerfully pondering. It’s on pages 21-22.

Coughlin covers Christ’s humorous and biting sarcasm very illuminatingly, refreshingly.

And, he adds on pp44-45:

“Nice, tame, spiritually arrogant people often don’t get or appreciate sarcasm because it disrupts the status quo. [I] Sarcasm bothers them because it stimulates the necessary work of self-criticism, a cornerstone of moral credibility.” [/I]

“But blessed sarcasm does help the weak and needy. Said one subscriber to Hartman’s site [Christian humor site]: ‘I struggle with severe chronic depression. Sometimes the only way I can get going in the morning is by reading your jokes. I just wanted you to know someone appreciates what you do. Christ loves him, you and me enough to wield the mighty and poignant sword of sarcasm.”

He has good chapters on masculinity; working with, in and ministering in and out of one’s passion; and how to have a healthy humor, sarcasm, fierceness after the pattern of Christ.

I think this is a very timely and crucial book. I think it’s one that most every Christian man would profit from reading. Thankfully, those who love them would profit from the men applying their new knowledge and insights in their relationships and lives.

He cautions about jumping off the deep-end with this end of the spectrum, too. I think he has written a very balanced and Biblical book that goes a long way toward correcting a lot of misconstrued constructions on Christianity and about Christ.

I strongly recommend it to any and every thoughtful Christian man. Women could also gain fruitful insights into their men.


TOPICS: Charismatic Christian; Current Events; Evangelical Christian; General Discusssion; Judaism; Ministry/Outreach; Moral Issues; Prayer; Religion & Culture; Religion & Politics; Theology
KEYWORDS: beardedwoman; bookreview; christian; christians; confusedtovilified; damagingmessages; drlaura; facingfears; lionorspaniel; livingsmall; males; marriage; masculinity; menatwork; menvseunuchs; naiveguy; niceruinslove; nicevsgood; paulcoughlin; ruinsmarriage; schlessinger; wimpvsovercomer
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-5051-74 next last
I hope the issues can be discussed forcefully and passionately without hostility toward personhoods.
1 posted on 08/28/2006 8:44:05 PM PDT by Quix
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies]

To: Alamo-Girl; Marysecretary; .30Carbine

Angel-Gal, I would love to have your response to reading the whole book.

Ping


2 posted on 08/28/2006 8:46:05 PM PDT by Quix (LET GOD ARISE AND HIS ENEMIES BE SCATTERED. LET ISRAEL CALL ON GOD AS THEIRS! & ISLAM FLUSH ITSELF)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: airborne; American in Israel; AnimalLover; auggy; backhoe; backslacker; Baraonda; bearsgirl90; ...

END TIMES; PROPHETIC; . . .

PING LIST

Please let me know if you want on or off this sometimes personal interest Charismania/Pentecostalism sort of ping list.


3 posted on 08/28/2006 8:49:04 PM PDT by Quix (LET GOD ARISE AND HIS ENEMIES BE SCATTERED. LET ISRAEL CALL ON GOD AS THEIRS! & ISLAM FLUSH ITSELF)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Quix

I'll keep reading..evening Quix, thanks for the ping :)


4 posted on 08/28/2006 9:52:05 PM PDT by Libertina
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Libertina

Sure. Thank you for bothering.

I think you'll find plenty of fruitful food for prayerful thought.

LUB,


5 posted on 08/28/2006 9:52:59 PM PDT by Quix (LET GOD ARISE AND HIS ENEMIES BE SCATTERED. LET ISRAEL CALL ON GOD AS THEIRS! & ISLAM FLUSH ITSELF)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 4 | View Replies]

To: Quix

The communists are alive and well, and out to destroy faith in God and to dismember the family. I call them Mathusian-Trotskyites based on their belief in population control and their drive to "democratize" the world in their image. Some of the wolves are in sheep's clothing, deception being the hallmark of their master.


6 posted on 08/28/2006 11:49:57 PM PDT by Anthem (One can not lie their way to the truth.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Quix

Regarding your list --- count me in!!


7 posted on 08/29/2006 12:17:50 AM PDT by AnimalLover ( ((Are there special rules and regulations for the big guys?)))
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 3 | View Replies]

To: Quix

Not every one who is indulgent is a friend; nor is every one an enemy who smites. Better are the wounds of a friend than the proffered kisses of an enemy. It is better with severity to love, than with gentleness to deceive. More good is done by taking away food from one who is hungry, if, through freedom from care as to his food, he is forgetful of righteousness, than by providing bread for one who is hungry, in order that, being thereby bribed, ;he may consent to unrighteousness. He who binds the man who is in a phrenzy, and he who stirs up the man who is in a lethargy, are alike vexatious to both, and are in both cases alike prompted by love for the patient.

Who can love us more than God does? And yet He not only give us sweet instruction, but also quickens us by salutary fear, and this unceasingly. Often adding to the soothing remedies by which He comforts men the sharp medicine of tribulation, He afflicts with famine even the pious and devout patriarchs, disquiets a rebellious people by more severe chastisements, and refuses, though thrice besought, to take away the thorn in the flesh of the apostle, that He may make His strength perfect in weakness. Let us by all means love even our enemies, for this is right, and God commands us so to do, in order that we may be the children of our Father who is in heaven, "who maketh His sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust." But as we praise these His gifts, lets us in like manner ponder His correction of those whom He loves.

-St. Augustine of Hippo, Epistle 93


8 posted on 08/29/2006 1:58:11 AM PDT by Dumb_Ox (http://kevinjjones.blogspot.com)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Quix; gobucks
". . . Today's males have had their innate urge to provide and protect removed from their spines, guts, heads, hearts and souls."

Beg to differ:

Men who do not provide for or protect the women entrusted by God Almighty to their care are acting out of the seed of Adam from which they are born. No woman "removes" from any man the desire to provide for and protect; men willingly abandon this desire, as Adam did.

And like Adam, men are still laying blame where blame does not belong (Genesis 3:12):

The man said, "The woman you put here with me—she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it."

Did Eve blame Man for her decision to believe the lie and disobey God? Nay, she rightly laid the blame upon the serpent, and acknowledged her curse, and praised The Merciful and Mighty Redeeming God that through her came the Deliverer.

O Man, hearken unto the Voice of the Lord Thy God! Become, as my FReeper FRiend gobucks says, "The Wife of the Word!"

9 posted on 08/29/2006 2:45:34 AM PDT by .30Carbine (May God be the Glory)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Dumb_Ox
Lovely post. You're not such a "dumb ox" after all, unless, like the donkey of old, you list "dumb" as mute and ox as the vessel of the voice of the Lord!

I really appreciate the heart behind the quotation.

10 posted on 08/29/2006 2:49:25 AM PDT by .30Carbine (May God be the Glory)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 8 | View Replies]

To: Quix

thanks for the ping.


11 posted on 08/29/2006 3:39:52 AM PDT by navygal (Numbers 6:24-26)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Quix
For later read.

"We are to be good instead of being nice" is a friend of mines favorite saying.

But being "good" is hard. It means standing up to the common culture of "tolerance" and saying no. Most have been programed not to be good.

Lucky for me I was to stupid to get the programming.
12 posted on 08/29/2006 5:07:28 AM PDT by redgolum ("God is dead" -- Nietzsche. "Nietzsche is dead" -- God.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Dumb_Ox

Like that quote.

Augustine had guts.


13 posted on 08/29/2006 6:00:23 AM PDT by redgolum ("God is dead" -- Nietzsche. "Nietzsche is dead" -- God.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 8 | View Replies]

To: Anthem

True, true!

Thanks.


14 posted on 08/29/2006 7:37:07 AM PDT by Quix (LET GOD ARISE AND HIS ENEMIES BE SCATTERED. LET ISRAEL CALL ON GOD AS THEIRS! & ISLAM FLUSH ITSELF)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 6 | View Replies]

To: AnimalLover

Just checked. Thanks. You are on it.

God's best to you and yours this week.


15 posted on 08/29/2006 7:41:44 AM PDT by Quix (LET GOD ARISE AND HIS ENEMIES BE SCATTERED. LET ISRAEL CALL ON GOD AS THEIRS! & ISLAM FLUSH ITSELF)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 7 | View Replies]

To: Quix

Do you have a link where it can be ordered? I searched Amazon and got no hits.

'Hammer


16 posted on 08/29/2006 7:43:59 AM PDT by Warhammer (Appeasing terrorists is like throwing steaks at a tiger hoping he becomes a vegetarian.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Dumb_Ox

VERY EXCELLENT QUOTE. THANKS.

= = = =

Not every one who is indulgent is a friend; nor is every one an enemy who smites. Better are the wounds of a friend than the proffered kisses of an enemy. It is better with severity to love, than with gentleness to deceive. More good is done by taking away food from one who is hungry, if, through freedom from care as to his food, he is forgetful of righteousness, than by providing bread for one who is hungry, in order that, being thereby bribed, ;he may consent to unrighteousness. He who binds the man who is in a phrenzy, and he who stirs up the man who is in a lethargy, are alike vexatious to both, and are in both cases alike prompted by love for the patient.

Who can love us more than God does? And yet He not only give us sweet instruction, but also quickens us by salutary fear, and this unceasingly. Often adding to the soothing remedies by which He comforts men the sharp medicine of tribulation, He afflicts with famine even the pious and devout patriarchs, disquiets a rebellious people by more severe chastisements, and refuses, though thrice besought, to take away the thorn in the flesh of the apostle, that He may make His strength perfect in weakness. Let us by all means love even our enemies, for this is right, and God commands us so to do, in order that we may be the children of our Father who is in heaven, "who maketh His sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust." But as we praise these His gifts, lets us in like manner ponder His correction of those whom He loves.

-St. Augustine of Hippo, Epistle 93


17 posted on 08/29/2006 7:44:37 AM PDT by Quix (LET GOD ARISE AND HIS ENEMIES BE SCATTERED. LET ISRAEL CALL ON GOD AS THEIRS! & ISLAM FLUSH ITSELF)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 8 | View Replies]

To: .30Carbine

Good Points.

The enemy is THE ENEMY.

Blame is not useful.

Nevertheless, it is also true that women in the feminist movement have become complicit in the enemy's schemes, goals and actions. imho.


18 posted on 08/29/2006 7:47:46 AM PDT by Quix (LET GOD ARISE AND HIS ENEMIES BE SCATTERED. LET ISRAEL CALL ON GOD AS THEIRS! & ISLAM FLUSH ITSELF)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 9 | View Replies]

To: .30Carbine

Lovely post. You're not such a "dumb ox" after all, unless, like the donkey of old, you list "dumb" as mute and ox as the vessel of the voice of the Lord!
I really appreciate the heart behind the quotation.

= = = = =

AMEN! AMEN! AMEN!


19 posted on 08/29/2006 7:48:50 AM PDT by Quix (LET GOD ARISE AND HIS ENEMIES BE SCATTERED. LET ISRAEL CALL ON GOD AS THEIRS! & ISLAM FLUSH ITSELF)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 10 | View Replies]

To: navygal

U R QUITE WELCOME.

Thanks for stopping by.


20 posted on 08/29/2006 7:49:25 AM PDT by Quix (LET GOD ARISE AND HIS ENEMIES BE SCATTERED. LET ISRAEL CALL ON GOD AS THEIRS! & ISLAM FLUSH ITSELF)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 11 | View Replies]

To: redgolum

AND PRAISE THE LORD for some of us not getting the programming!

Blessings,


21 posted on 08/29/2006 7:50:13 AM PDT by Quix (LET GOD ARISE AND HIS ENEMIES BE SCATTERED. LET ISRAEL CALL ON GOD AS THEIRS! & ISLAM FLUSH ITSELF)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 12 | View Replies]

To: redgolum

In the jargon of this weekend's PK conference:

"YUP, YUP!"


22 posted on 08/29/2006 7:50:57 AM PDT by Quix (LET GOD ARISE AND HIS ENEMIES BE SCATTERED. LET ISRAEL CALL ON GOD AS THEIRS! & ISLAM FLUSH ITSELF)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 13 | View Replies]

To: Warhammer

Interesting.

I suspect you could also get it from Bethany House's site--ACTUALLY, I had to find it there. Didn't seem to be listed at PK. But I noted other attractive meaningful volumes at PK below--for those interested.

NO MORE CHRISTIAN NICE GUY:

http://www.bethanyhouse.com/ME2/Audiences/dirmod.asp?sid=360E9371EE2645E3843D2D91EA7B79AB&nm=Search+by+Topic&type=EcomBB&mod=E%2DCommerce%3A%3AProduct+Catalog&mid=70B7D6357AC74DCE82EF28E7D375E854&tier=3&id=CEB8879375E94868978E4ABD006930AA

Here's the PK main site.

http://www.promisekeepers.org/

This is the link for the also excellent: 7 QUESTIONS of a PK by TOM FORTSON; HANK HANEGRAAFF

1. Is Earth a Privileged Planet?
2. Is the Resurrection mere wishful thinking or did Jesus Christ rise from the dead, thus demonstrating that He is God?

3. Is the Origin of The Bible divine or is it merely human?

4. What makes Men so strategic to the proper ordering of a society?
5. How does the Promise Keepers movement address the danger of Isolationism?

6. How can I progress from survival to Significance?
7. Why is it so crucial for Promise Keepers men to develop an Eternal perspective?:

http://www.promiseproducts.net/2006-Unleashed-Conference-Feature-Books-C23.aspx


WHY CHRISTIAN KIDS REBEL

and

WHEN BAD CHRISTIANS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE

and

WHEN THERE'S NO BURNING BUSH

are at this page:

http://www.promiseproducts.net/Topical-C24.aspx

AND

WHAT GOD DOES WHEN MEN PRAY

here:

http://www.promiseproducts.net/Prayer-C26.aspx

STRATEGIES FOR A SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE in Spanish:

http://www.promiseproducts.net/Spanish-C27.aspx

A CASE FOR A CREATOR

and

MADE TO COUNT

and

BEING GOD'S MAN AS A SATISFIED SINGLE

HERE:

http://www.promiseproducts.net/PK-Promise-1-Walk-with-God-C133.aspx

GUARD YOUR HEART

EVERY MAN'S BATTLE

EVERY YOUNG MAN'S BATTLE

THE WAR WITHIN

HERE:

http://www.promiseproducts.net/PK-Promise-3-Purity-C135.aspx

THE MARRIED GUY'S GUIDE TO GREAT SEX

FATHERHOOD ABORTED

INLAWS, OUTLAWS AND THE FUNCTIONAL FAMILY

SHE CALLS ME DADDY

EXTREME MARRIAGE

ROMANCING YOUR CHILD'S HEART

WHAT KIDS NEED MOST IN A DAD

LAUNCHING YOUR KIDS FOR LIFE

DAUGHTERS GONE WILD; DAD'S GONE CRAZY
Authors Charles Stone and daughter Heather Stone write about how Dad's can weather the storms of raising a daughter during the tough teenage years. As you travel with the Stones through these stormy years you'll learn the nine relationship 'Life Preservers' to which they clung - life preservers that can see you through your storms as well.

HERE:

http://www.promiseproducts.net/Daughters-Gone-Wild-Dads-Gone-Crazy-P1245C136.aspx

BLIND SPOTS PAPERBACK

HERE:

http://www.promiseproducts.net/PK-Promise-6-Unity-C138.aspx

REACHING THE WORLD IN OUR OWN BACKYARD:

http://www.promiseproducts.net/PK-Promise-7-Evangelism-C139.aspx


23 posted on 08/29/2006 8:25:23 AM PDT by Quix (LET GOD ARISE AND HIS ENEMIES BE SCATTERED. LET ISRAEL CALL ON GOD AS THEIRS! & ISLAM FLUSH ITSELF)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 16 | View Replies]

To: Dumb_Ox
-- Let us by all means love even our enemies, for this is right, and God commands us so to do, in order that we may be the children of our Father who is in heaven, "who maketh His sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust." But as we praise these His gifts, lets us in like manner ponder His correction of those whom He loves.

It's when we become instruments of His correction that we are tempted to erect ourselves as principals of His domain.

24 posted on 08/29/2006 9:34:16 AM PDT by Anthem (One can not lie their way to the truth.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 8 | View Replies]

To: Quix
Besides, the mind of a Christian Nice Guy is anything but pleasant or agreeable. For reasons explained later, these men are often secretive and manipulative. They harbor hissing resentments, and, given all the games they feel they need to play just to survive...

That's not just a "Christian" problem, it's a generic "Nice Guy" problem.

And it's one of the major reasons why women don't like them. The passive-aggressive, untrustworthy, self-deceiving manipulator is the one who most loudly proclaims himself to be a "Nice Guy".

But the article is amusing, as the author seems not to understand that the whole history of the Christian Church has been about the grinding down and molding of men into "Nice Guys" for the benefit of the priests and kings who intend to rule over them.

25 posted on 08/29/2006 9:41:27 AM PDT by Mr. Jeeves ("When the government is invasive, the people are wanting." -- Tao Te Ching)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Mr. Jeeves

Good points, imho.

But it's a book of some 224 fairly densely packed pages.


26 posted on 08/29/2006 12:25:00 PM PDT by Quix (LET GOD ARISE AND HIS ENEMIES BE SCATTERED. LET ISRAEL CALL ON GOD AS THEIRS! & ISLAM FLUSH ITSELF)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 25 | View Replies]

To: Mr. Jeeves
the author seems not to understand that the whole history of the Christian Church has been about the grinding down and molding of men into "Nice Guys" for the benefit of the priests and kings who intend to rule over them.

Bah, humbug.

Besides, the mind of a Christian Nice Guy is anything but pleasant or agreeable. For reasons explained later, these men are often secretive and manipulative. They harbor hissing resentments, and, given all the games they feel they need to play just to survive ...

That doesn't describe a single Catholic saint I can think of. Not even remotely close.

And it doesn't remotely describe the most important Christian male role model of all, Jesus Christ.

27 posted on 08/29/2006 12:35:23 PM PDT by Campion ("I am so tired of you, liberal church in America" -- Mother Angelica, 1993)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 25 | View Replies]

To: Quix

"It's clear to me that there isn't a consensus on what 'being a man' means. Women give mixed, confused signals and messages because women are basically confused between what they're being indoctrinated to want and what they really want. "

Men who are looking to women to figure out how to be a man are looking in the wrong place. And, vice versa.


28 posted on 08/29/2006 1:46:34 PM PDT by walden
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Campion

And it doesn't remotely describe the most important Christian male role model of all, Jesus Christ.
= = = = =

THAT'S the point of the book!


29 posted on 08/29/2006 2:11:10 PM PDT by Quix (LET GOD ARISE AND HIS ENEMIES BE SCATTERED. LET ISRAEL CALL ON GOD AS THEIRS! & ISLAM FLUSH ITSELF)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 27 | View Replies]

To: walden

Men who are looking to women to figure out how to be a man are looking in the wrong place. And, vice versa.
= = = =

Certainly true.

Though a man who can't or won't meet most of his spouse's needs and some of her wants, is at least a much poorer man in many ways.


30 posted on 08/29/2006 2:13:18 PM PDT by Quix (LET GOD ARISE AND HIS ENEMIES BE SCATTERED. LET ISRAEL CALL ON GOD AS THEIRS! & ISLAM FLUSH ITSELF)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 28 | View Replies]

To: Quix

"Here's the deal: you, a male, get to do 100% of what your grandfathers did, that benefits us (females). We'll put as much responsibility on you as possible, expect you to do the most dangerous, debilitating work, while denying you authority, respect for bravery, and decision-making prerogative. You like?" I never saw Alice tell Ralph "Sweetheart, you're the greatest!" I laughed at "Our Miss Brooks". but mocking and making fun of the Principal was part of the devil's plan to attack men...


31 posted on 08/29/2006 5:55:10 PM PDT by 185JHP ( "The thing thou purposest shall come to pass: And over all thy ways the light shall shine.")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 23 | View Replies]

To: 185JHP

wheeeeeeeeeeeeee

MEMORIES!

And now distorted memories brought to you by the globalists and MSM.


32 posted on 08/29/2006 9:27:05 PM PDT by Quix (LET GOD ARISE AND HIS ENEMIES BE SCATTERED. LET ISRAEL CALL ON GOD AS THEIRS! & ISLAM FLUSH ITSELF)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 31 | View Replies]

To: Quix; JockoManning

Thx Qx.

jm: marker to read when U have more time.


33 posted on 08/29/2006 9:34:07 PM PDT by JockoManning (Listen Online http://www.klove.com)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 3 | View Replies]

To: JockoManning

Thanks.


34 posted on 08/29/2006 9:41:55 PM PDT by Quix (LET GOD ARISE AND HIS ENEMIES BE SCATTERED. LET ISRAEL CALL ON GOD AS THEIRS! & ISLAM FLUSH ITSELF)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 33 | View Replies]

To: Quix
I hope the issues can be discussed forcefully and passionately without hostility toward personhoods.

Why? What's wrong with hostility?

35 posted on 08/29/2006 9:56:15 PM PDT by stands2reason (ANAGRAM for the day: Socialist twaddle == Tact is disallowed)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: stands2reason

Depends.

1. It's the rules here. And I choose to respect Jim as a person and to show him my appreciation for FR by following the rules.

2. After all, Scripture exhorts us to respect the designated authorities over us when they don't conflict with God's orders etc.

3. I prefer to respect the personhood of all claiming to be Believers with any reasonable chance that they are. They are, after all, created in HIS image.

4. Fitting hostility for sin, satan, his evils, ideas and positions from hell etc. is different. I'm as passionately against some things hereon as probably anyone on FR. And plenty too much for some sensibilities.


36 posted on 08/29/2006 10:14:55 PM PDT by Quix (LET GOD ARISE AND HIS ENEMIES BE SCATTERED. LET ISRAEL CALL ON GOD AS THEIRS! & ISLAM FLUSH ITSELF)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 35 | View Replies]

To: Quix
Nevertheless, it is also true that women in the feminist movement have become complicit in the enemy's schemes, goals and actions. imho.

Everyone who is not serving God is serving the devil ( a few references that come to mind). Why do you therefore single out women?

37 posted on 08/30/2006 3:39:57 AM PDT by .30Carbine (May God Be The Glory)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 18 | View Replies]

To: stands2reason; Quix

From what I know of the book being discussed (which I have not read but have only heard the author discuss in interviews) your question gets right to the point, the author's very thesis. We must be like Christ.


38 posted on 08/30/2006 3:42:50 AM PDT by .30Carbine (May God Be The Glory)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 35 | View Replies]

To: .30Carbine

Of course.

In the context of the wimpiness of men etc. I think women of the "modern" feminist movement do have some measure of added guilt/responsibility for their complicit worsening of the situation.

Yes, men are responsible for their choices and behaviors. However, given the attraction chits women have over men, it's clearly true that men jumping through all the hoops women have been increasingly given in our era to demand that men jump through . . . thereby the problem has been worsened beyond what men would likely have been guilty of on their own.

Looked at another way, the women have sown to the wind and are reaping the whirlwind in terms of the impact of their feminizing impacts on the men.

I don't know how realistic it is to expect many men to shape up in the masculinity department when so many women are demanding that they do the opposite or are giving them maddening double messages about it. Men don't handle double messages well at all. Their brain structures and thinking habits are too linear in orientation and focus.

I have a hard time believing that women are thoroughly innocent and not at all responsible for their share of the problem. In fact, I don't believe that at all and am highly unlikely to ever believe that.


39 posted on 08/30/2006 3:46:17 AM PDT by Quix (LET GOD ARISE AND HIS ENEMIES BE SCATTERED. LET ISRAEL CALL ON GOD AS THEIRS! & ISLAM FLUSH ITSELF)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 37 | View Replies]

To: .30Carbine

Of course, we are all called to become like Christ . . . recognizing that He is the author and finisher of our faith and of us as we cooperate with Him in the refining process.


40 posted on 08/30/2006 3:48:13 AM PDT by Quix (LET GOD ARISE AND HIS ENEMIES BE SCATTERED. LET ISRAEL CALL ON GOD AS THEIRS! & ISLAM FLUSH ITSELF)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 38 | View Replies]

To: .30Carbine



So, because Christ was hostile, you should be? No matter the context?

Isn't he God? Does that mean Christians get to do whatever God does?

Aren't some things to be left to God?

Can God commit the sin of pride? No. But people can. You see the difference?


41 posted on 08/30/2006 3:00:07 PM PDT by stands2reason (ANAGRAM for the day: Socialist twaddle == Tact is disallowed)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 38 | View Replies]

To: Quix

Yes, the feminist movement has been sooo helpful to men, especially the children who are now being brought up in our government schools and liberal colleges. Another reason to send kids to Christian schools or homeschool them. Young men have been deceived into thinking that they don't have to be the heads of their households and they abandon such to their wives and 'girlfriends.'


42 posted on 08/30/2006 5:51:05 PM PDT by Marysecretary (Thank you, Lord, for FOUR MORE YEARS!!!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 18 | View Replies]

To: Marysecretary

Another reason to send kids to Christian schools or homeschool them. Young men have been deceived into thinking that they don't have to be the heads of their households and they abandon such to their wives and 'girlfriends.'

= = = = =

INDEED!

And then when the women still rail at them, they walk away bewildered with an utter sense of abject failure and no clue as to what they could/should have done differently, more successfully. Very sad.


43 posted on 08/30/2006 5:56:09 PM PDT by Quix (LET GOD ARISE AND HIS ENEMIES BE SCATTERED. LET ISRAEL CALL ON GOD AS THEIRS! & ISLAM FLUSH ITSELF)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 42 | View Replies]

To: .30Carbine

Having been a secretary to a women's studies program at a liberal and well known and respected university, I agree with Quix. Women are being deceived today by the feminists into thinking they don't need a man, don't need to stay home and care for children because it's better to go out and work and make a living, don't need to submit to anyone, etc., etc. I'm sure you know the routine. There are also men in this movement who have become so whimpy that I don't know how a woman CAN respect them. But in my own experience, it's mostly women who run the show in that movement.


44 posted on 08/30/2006 5:56:25 PM PDT by Marysecretary (Thank you, Lord, for FOUR MORE YEARS!!!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 37 | View Replies]

To: Quix
I don't know how realistic it is to expect many men to shape up in the masculinity department when so many women are demanding that they do the opposite or are giving them maddening double messages about it. Men don't handle double messages well at all.

Perhaps you will agree with me that men should not be looking to women for their messages at all, but to God in His Spirit and His Word. I believe that is what the author of the book with which you started the thread is saying.

45 posted on 08/31/2006 3:11:50 AM PDT by .30Carbine (May God Be The Glory)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 39 | View Replies]

To: Marysecretary
I do not disagree with you, dear Mary, that women are the problem in the feminist movement. I did not think feminism was the focus of this particular thread, however.
46 posted on 08/31/2006 3:13:48 AM PDT by .30Carbine (May God Be The Glory)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 44 | View Replies]

To: .30Carbine

Perhaps you will agree with me that men should not be looking to women for their messages at all, but to God in His Spirit and His Word. I believe that is what the author of the book with which you started the thread is saying.
= = = =

I would certainly agree with that.

But that's true for all of us in all our relationships on all issues--work, home, church . . .


47 posted on 08/31/2006 3:16:22 AM PDT by Quix (LET GOD ARISE AND HIS ENEMIES BE SCATTERED. LET ISRAEL CALL ON GOD AS THEIRS! & ISLAM FLUSH ITSELF)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 45 | View Replies]

To: Quix
PS - I believe the term "Brood of Vipers" applies to anyone who goes around "biting and devouring" one another.

The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.
Proverbs 18:21

48 posted on 08/31/2006 3:20:06 AM PDT by .30Carbine (May God Be The Glory)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 46 | View Replies]

To: Marysecretary; .30Carbine

True, dear Mary.

But I think we are all right--as starting as that may be! LOL.

Yes, the women are complicit; a major factor in the dumbing down and wimping down of men. But they couldn't have achieved it without men's pied-piper allowing them to.

AND

We are all to look to Christ as our leader, model, standard, measure in all things and certainly in all our relationships.


49 posted on 08/31/2006 3:20:24 AM PDT by Quix (LET GOD ARISE AND HIS ENEMIES BE SCATTERED. LET ISRAEL CALL ON GOD AS THEIRS! & ISLAM FLUSH ITSELF)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 44 | View Replies]

To: .30Carbine

I don't know if you can appreciate from a woman's perspective . . .

how DIFFICULT it is for most men--especially those growing up under the feminist cloud, heresy etc. . . .

how DIFFICULT it is for most men to keep their eyes fixed on Christ as their model WHEN THEIR VIRTUALLY ONLY emotionally significant relationship is with THEIR WOMAN--to whom they are affixed to varying degrees like a starved, sick, puppy dog desperate for any and all crumbs of affirmation and clue that he's doing at least a decent if not wonderful job. While the feminist polluted woman feel compelled to slap her man down and DISconfirm him at every turn in almost every way.

WHAT A SET-UP for shredding the home and family!

From the pit of hell.

And, dear sister, God Himself has decreed that the hubby SHOULD LISTEN to the wife else his prayers will not be heard.

So, it's easy to say and RIGHT to say--all of us should have our eyes fixed on Christ as our standard and model. Yet it's also fitting ot understand that BY DESIGN, men are overwhelmingly compelled, driven, set-up to care most intensely for how well or not they please, satisfy their woman.


50 posted on 08/31/2006 3:25:15 AM PDT by Quix (LET GOD ARISE AND HIS ENEMIES BE SCATTERED. LET ISRAEL CALL ON GOD AS THEIRS! & ISLAM FLUSH ITSELF)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 45 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-5051-74 next last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
Religion
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson