Married Priests Back Celibacy (Part 1 of 2)

National Catholic Register ^ | December 24, 2006 | TIM DRAKE

[IrishMike]

Thanks.

[ConservativeMind]

I have no problem with describing my own situation.

When I was a teen, I cam up with a list of things that must be expected of both me and the person I would date. They are as follows:

1. She must be a solid Christian
2. We must be good friends first
3. She should not desire drinking, smoking, or doing drugs
4. She cannot be divorced
5. Must have a great heart and a good mind, proven out over time to show her true character
6. I need to find her attractive or enduring in some way

Out of the six qualities mentioned above, only the last is something that is innately selfish in some way. On the whole, I don't see a problem with that.

I have seriously dated two women that effectively met all those qualities prior to the lady I'm now dating. She meets them all, not just nominally, but in every way.

I have waited until marriage, although I haven't always expected that my wife would have. The great reason for my own celibacy is because I knew I would need to model that behavior for my children to have true credibility with them. I never thought it would take so long to find someone with, not only all those qualities mentioned above, but who had also waited until marriage.

I could handle getting herpes or HIV from someone I loved, but I would rather not have such concerns. One of the women I seriously dated was a phlebotomist. While we were dating, she stuck herself with a needle from a potentially HIV-infected patient. I didn't have a problem with that then, nor now. I loved her.

For a relationship to work out in its earlier stages, both sides need to be in a similar mindset as well as need to find each other the one whom they would want to be with. I thought the phlebotomist and I would get married, but for her, she felt less attraction for me in the relationship than I did for her. It was to the point that she didn't think she would be able to sustain her romantic feelings with me. We broke up. She later told me she thought we'd get back together, but I knew it had to come from her.

I refuse to date divorced women based solely on Scripture. I have no need to commit adultery nor cause someone to commit adultery.

My current girlfriend has always felt the exact same way. We are both in our 30s and have always had higher standards for ourselves throughout our lives.

There were women I could have married along the way, but I'm not one to believe you marry just to be married. But, being one who thinks sex needs to be within marriage, the single life can be difficult at times, but I grew to easily handle that. Women that are less than what you want never make it beyond friendship when you have a list like the one I mention above. It's built-in accountability that has kept me from falling for the wrong kind of woman, a paternity suit, or getting a venereal disease.


On the Catholic church requiring priests to be celibate, I don't have a problem with that. I also don't have a problem with people who have given a vow to stay celibate to continue that way (they must, in fact).

However, I take issue with the idea that Christ effectively banned married people from leadership roles in ministry by saying, "If Jesus Christ wanted priests to be married he would have gotten married himself."

There is no such prohibition in the Bible. Only the Catholic church is responsible for requiring priestly celibacy. If the prohibition were true, even by Catholic standards, then Episcopal priests could not serve.

So the Catholic church also agrees with my stance.

[klossg]

"If Jesus Christ wanted priests to be married he would have gotten married himself."

The Church herself does not say this. The Cardinal did. I am sorry if my protection of my Church fell into the personal issue you and others have with this Cardinal's statement. And maybe it is something that could have been left out of the article for more impact. But such is life. As you may already know, there are many more deeper reasons why the Catholic Church holds its priests to celibacy. See the Theology of the Body for most of the reasons.

I do hope you find a good woman to share life with. I have been blessed by God in the woman I married. I too lived chastely until marriage at 26. I know that the closer I stay to my Lord the better off I will be. By the way #6 on your list is highly overrated. Love and romance and life all mix together and trump physical attraction. Raw sexual desire has nothing to do with true love. It does not last ... you see it everyday ... Pamela Anderson and whoever she marries ... Britney Spears and whoever she marries ... the hottest looking people, with nothing else dump each other even if it means getting mauled by the public over intimate details of the breakup. True life long married love is way better and has much more power and sway. I am glad to see it is on the bottom of the list. I'd say replace it with "She must not irk me or irritate me." Love happens and truly understanding a person is way more incredible than a roll in the hey. And by understanding I do mean roll in the hey with too, but I mean UNDERSTANDING. We Americans have been duped by glorification of lust. (IMHO).

[NYer]

Where in Scripture does it say people who speak the Word to others should be celibate?

First off, priests do more than speak the Word - much more! They administer the Sacraments. They have consecrated their lives to Jesus Christ.

In Matt. 19:11-12, Jesus says celibacy is a gift from God and whoever can bear it should bear it. Jesus praises and recommends celibacy for full-time ministers in the Church. Because celibacy is a gift from God, those who criticize the Church's practice of celibacy are criticizing God and this wonderful gift He bestows on His chosen ones.

And, in 1 Cor. 7:32-33, 38, Paul recommends celibacy for full-time ministers in the Church so that they are able to focus entirely upon God and building up His kingdom. He “who refrains from marriage will do better.”

[ConservativeMind]

Please see post #22.

[ConservativeMind]

No problem. And I agree 100% with everything you state.

I noticed you help married couples stay together. That is an incredibly needed ministry.

We've gone from a less than 1% divorce rate to over 50% in 50 years. As of 2000, so-called "Christians" divorced at a higher rate than the general population. When it comes to believing marriage is until death, it helps to be an atheist. What a terrible statement on the Church!

The "Christian" divorce/remarriage/adultery bit is perhaps the most corrosive element present in today's Body. And so many think "God" has led them to their new spouse!

[kawaii]

In fairness St Paul also said that men who marry only once and have their house in order could be ordained Bishops.

(Also IIRC don't the Maronites have married priests?)

[NYer]

Also IIRC don't the Maronites have married priests?)

If you scroll back up to the actual article, read the Patriarch's comments regarding married priesthood in the Maronite Church. The Maronite Catholic Church is worldwide - and growing. Only the celibate priests are assigned outside of Lebanon.

[Rutles4Ever]

Their were circumstances where it was acceptable for a married man to become a priest (and those circumstances still exist today). But a man who is single and becomes a priest has never been given permission to marry after the fact. At least that's how I understand it.

[onedoug]

I have always thought - even after after Pastor Ludder - that a married clergy...person(?)
will have to understand married life in order to properly minister to, eeek!...the majority?

[kawaii]

It seems strange to me that if a married priest proves exceptional in Lebanon, given the volatile situation there, that he'd be refused the opportunity to work for the church in less volatile areas...

[B-Chan]

When I was a teen, I cam up with a list of things that must be expected of both me and the person I would date. They are as follows:

1. She must be a solid Christian
2. We must be good friends first
3. She should not desire drinking, smoking, or doing drugs
4. She cannot be divorced
5. Must have a great heart and a good mind, proven out over time to show her true character
6. GREAT RACK

[wtc911]

Good list.....wrong order.

[ConservativeMind]

What, on earth, made you find and respond to a three-year old thread?? :-)

[B-Chan]

It came up in my ping list today. I have no idea why.

[Ransomed]

I’m not sure that priests were ever allowed to “get married” after they took the vows. Some Churches did and do allow already married men to become priests, this includes many Catholic Churches as well as Orthodox and Oriental.

Freegards

[Ransomed]

Good grief this thread is years old, har har!!

Freegards

[B-Chan]

[Salvation]

Thanks, I totally missed this one!