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NFL Thwarts Church's Plan to Show Super Bowl (Neener WEEKEND Humor: SB, Jn 3:16, 7th Bowl)
FoxNews ^ | Feb 1

Posted on 02/02/2007 9:18:21 AM PST by xzins

INDIANAPOLIS — The NFL has nixed a church's plans to use a wall projector to show the Colts-Bears Super Bowl game, saying it would violate copyright laws.

NFL officials spotted a promotion of Fall Creek Baptist Church's "Super Bowl Bash" on the church Web site last week and overnighted a letter to the pastor demanding the party be canceled, the church said.

Initially, the league objected to the church's plan to charge a fee to attend and that the church used the license-protected words "Super Bowl" in its promotions.

Pastor John D. Newland said he told the NFL his church would not charge anyone and that it would drop the use of the forbidden words.

But the NFL objected to the church's plans to use a projector to show the game, saying the law limits it to one TV no bigger than 55 inches.

The church will likely abandon its plans to host a Super ...

...snip ...(Getting Ready for the Game NFL spokesman Greg Aiello said the league's long-standing policy is to ban "mass out-of-home viewing" of the Super Bowl. An exception is made for sports bars and other businesses that show televised sports as a part of their everyday operations.

...snip... Newland said his church won't break the law.

"It just frustrates me that most of the places where crowds are going to gather to watch this game are going to be places that are filled with alcohol and other things that are inappropriate for children," Newland said. "We tried to provide an alternative to that and were shut down."

(Excerpt) Read more at foxnews.com ...


TOPICS:
KEYWORDS: 7thbowl; bears; colts; superbowl
The Friday (Weekend) Neener thread is for: humor, sarcasm, satire, outrageous (within forum rules) comments, etc.

The Rules are:

1. No lists

2. Dry seriousness discouraged; humor with a bite is encouraged.

3. All invitations to become Neeners for the Weedend will be issued by P-Marlowe, the Lord High Protector, etc., etc., initials galore.

1 posted on 02/02/2007 9:18:25 AM PST by xzins
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To: P-Marlowe; blue-duncan; Corin Stormhands; Revelation 911; opus86; wmfights; Forest Keeper
As if they invented the Real SUPER Bowls:

The 7 Bowls of Revelation:


2 posted on 02/02/2007 9:20:38 AM PST by xzins (Retired Army Chaplain and proud of it! Supporting our troops means praying for them to WIN!)
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To: xzins



THE SUPER BOWL TICKET


A man had 50 yard line tickets for the Super Bowl. As he sits down, a man
comes down and asks if anyone is sitting in the seat next to him.
"No," he says, "The seat is empty."

"This is incredible," said the man. "Who in their right mind would have a
seat like this for the Super Bowl, the biggest sporting event in the world,
and not use it?"

He says, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come
with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Super Bowl we haven't
been to together since we got married in 1987."

"Oh...I'm sorry to hear that. That's terrible. But couldn't you find
someone else, a friend or relative, or even a neighbor to take the seat?".

The man shakes his head. "No they're all at her funeral."


3 posted on 02/02/2007 9:21:10 AM PST by blue-duncan
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To: xzins

Seeing that this is a Religion forum it is only appropriate that we have some religious imput.


FIVE BEST THINGS TO SAY IF YOU GET CAUGHT SLEEPING AT YOUR DESK:

5. "They told me at the Blood Bank this might happen."

4. "This is just a 15 minute power nap they raved about in the time Management course you sent me to."

3. "Whew! Guess I left the top off the Whiteout. You probably got here just in time."

2. "Did you ever notice sound coming out of these keyboards when you put your ear down real close?"

And the NUMBER ONE best thing to say if you get caught sleeping at your desk...

1. Raise your head slowly and say, "...in Jesus' name, Amen."



4 posted on 02/02/2007 9:27:14 AM PST by blue-duncan
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To: xzins
Thanks, honey Wife induces labor so husband can go to Bears game

Nine months pregnant and married to a fervent Bears fan with tickets to Sunday's NFC Championship game, Colleen Pavelka didn't want to risk going into labor during the game against the New Orleans Saints.

Due to give birth on Monday, Pavelka's doctor told her Friday she could induce labor early. She opted for the Friday delivery.

5 posted on 02/02/2007 9:29:00 AM PST by Schnucki
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To: xzins







The husband had just finished reading a new book entitled, "You Can Be THE Man Of Your House."

He stormed to his wife in the kitchen and announced, "From now on, you need to know that I am the man of this house and my word is Law. This afternoon I am going to watch the Super Bowl here with my friends and you are going to serve the food and drinks. You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, you will serve me a sumptuous dessert. After dinner, you are going to go upstairs with me and we will have the kind of sex that I want. Afterwards, you are going to draw me a bath so I can relax. You will wash my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe. Then, you will massage my feet and hands. Then tomorrow, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?"

The wife replied, "The damn funeral director would be my first guess."



6 posted on 02/02/2007 9:36:26 AM PST by blue-duncan
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To: blue-duncan; P-Marlowe; jude24; Kolokotronis

During the Super Bowl, there was another football game of note between the big animals and the small animals. The big animals were crushing small animals and at half-time, the coach made a passionate speech to rally the little animals.
At the start of the second half the big animals had the ball. The first play, the elephant got stopped for no gain. The second play, the rhino was stopped for no gain. On third down, the hippo was thrown for a 5 yard loss.

The defense huddled around the coach and he asked excitedly,
"Who stopped the elephant?"

"I did," said the centipede.

"Who stopped the rhino?"

"Uh, that was me too," said the centipede.

"And how about the hippo? Who hit him for a 5 yard loss?"

"Well, that was me as well," said the centipede.

"So where were you during the first half?" demanded the coach.

"Well," said the centipede, "I was having my ankles taped."


7 posted on 02/02/2007 9:40:05 AM PST by xzins (Retired Army Chaplain and proud of it! Supporting our troops means praying for them to WIN!)
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To: xzins; P-Marlowe; Dr. Eckleburg; Corin Stormhands; Revelation 911; opus86; wmfights; ...

A married couple is driving along a highway doing a steady 60 miles per hour. The wife is behind the wheel. Her husband suddenly looks across at her and speaks in a clear voice. "I know we've been married for twenty years, but I want a divorce."

The wife says nothing, Keeps looking at the road ahead but slowly increases her speed to 65 mph.

The husband speaks again. "I don't want you to try and talk me out of it," He says, "because I've been having an affair with your best friend, And she's a far better lover than you are."

Again the wife stays quiet, But grips the steering wheel more tightly and slowly increases the speed to 75.

He pushes his luck. "I want the house," he says insistently.

Up to 80. "I want the car, too," he continues.

85 mph. "And," he says, "I'll have the bank accounts, all the credit cards and the boat!"

The car slowly starts veering towards a massive concrete bridge. This makes him nervous, so he asks her, "Isn't there anything you want?"

The wife at last replies in a quiet and controlled voice.
"No, I've got everything I need," she says.

"Oh, really," he inquires, "so what have you got?"

Just before they slam into the wall at 85 mph,The wife turns to him and smiles and says, "The airbag."


8 posted on 02/02/2007 9:56:14 AM PST by blue-duncan
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To: blue-duncan

LOLOL. Where do you guys get these?


9 posted on 02/02/2007 10:10:09 AM PST by Dr. Eckleburg ("I don't think they want my respect; I think they want my submission." - Flemming Rose)
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To: xzins; Dr. Eckleburg; blue-duncan
All invitations to become Neeners for the Weedend will be issued by P-Marlowe

He told me he was going on vacation. Wait, there's more than one of him right?

10 posted on 02/02/2007 10:14:09 AM PST by 1000 silverlings
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To: xzins; P-Marlowe; blue-duncan
All invitations to become Neeners for the Weedend will be issued by P-Marlowe, the Lord High Protector, etc., etc., initials galore.

What's this about the end of the Weed?

"Marlowe's not here..."

11 posted on 02/02/2007 10:17:27 AM PST by Corin Stormhands (http://www.virginiaisforrudy.com)
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To: blue-duncan; xzins; wmfights
LOL. The guy must be a BEARS fan.

We might not be able to speak/pray/venerate/encase in plaster the dead, but I can almost hear my departed father yelling, "GO BEARS!!!" from down here.

12 posted on 02/02/2007 10:17:33 AM PST by Dr. Eckleburg ("I don't think they want my respect; I think they want my submission." - Flemming Rose)
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To: 1000 silverlings; P-Marlowe; xzins; blue-duncan

lol. Maybe he's heading to Miami.


13 posted on 02/02/2007 10:19:08 AM PST by Dr. Eckleburg ("I don't think they want my respect; I think they want my submission." - Flemming Rose)
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To: Dr. Eckleburg

I hope he's not staying in a trailer park


14 posted on 02/02/2007 10:19:45 AM PST by 1000 silverlings
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To: Corin Stormhands
the end of the Weed

Something he's doing for Willy Nelson.

15 posted on 02/02/2007 10:33:03 AM PST by xzins (Retired Army Chaplain and proud of it! Supporting our troops means praying for them to WIN!)
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To: Dr. Eckleburg; blue-duncan; Salvation; Corin Stormhands

Recently, I was at a Packers game. My seat wasn't the greatest, so when i noticed a vacant seat on the fifty yard line 10 rows up, I headed towards it. I asked the man sitting next to it if the seat was taken. He replied, "No".

I started talking to the man and I learned he owned the seat I was in. He said, "My wife use to love to come to these games until she died."

"Why didn't you give this seat away to a friend?" I asked.

He replied, "Because they are all at her funeral."


16 posted on 02/02/2007 10:38:31 AM PST by xzins (Retired Army Chaplain and proud of it! Supporting our troops means praying for them to WIN!)
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To: xzins; blue-duncan
10 yard penalty for plagiarism of blue-duncan's post...
17 posted on 02/02/2007 10:41:25 AM PST by Corin Stormhands (http://www.virginiaisforrudy.com)
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To: Corin Stormhands; blue-duncan

These 17 post threads are too much to expect me to know EVERYTHING!

Whaddaya think I am....nondenominational?


18 posted on 02/02/2007 10:54:05 AM PST by xzins (Retired Army Chaplain and proud of it! Supporting our troops means praying for them to WIN!)
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To: xzins; blue-duncan; Dr. Eckleburg
These 17 post threads are too much to expect me to know EVERYTHING!

Oh, sorry. I keep forgetting you're a Short-Attention-Spanitarian.

19 posted on 02/02/2007 11:00:28 AM PST by Corin Stormhands (http://www.virginiaisforrudy.com)
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To: xzins; P-Marlowe; Dr. Eckleburg; Corin Stormhands; Revelation 911; opus86; wmfights; Salvation

There are always two ways to look at everything, I guess.

A man and his wife are dining at a table in a plush restaurant, and the husband keeps staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sits alone at a nearby table.

The wife asks, "Do you know her?"

"Yes," sighs the husband, "She's my ex-girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up seven years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since."

"My God!" says the wife, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long."


20 posted on 02/02/2007 11:04:34 AM PST by blue-duncan
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To: blue-duncan; P-Marlowe; Dr. Eckleburg; Corin Stormhands; Revelation 911; opus86; wmfights; ...

In order to save his marriage, a brilliant Bears fan married to a slow-witted Colts fan agrees to undergo experimental brain surgery to lower his IQ so that he too can root for the Colts. After the procedure, as he's being wheeled into recovery, the surgeon goes up to the man's wife. "I have awful news," he says. "We accidentally removed too much brain tissue, and the outlook for your husband is grim."

"Oh no, Doctor," says the wife, "what will that mean for him?!?"

Then, to her horror, she hears her husband weakly moaning: "Let's... go... Lions..."


21 posted on 02/02/2007 11:09:41 AM PST by xzins (Retired Army Chaplain and proud of it! Supporting our troops means praying for them to WIN!)
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To: xzins; P-Marlowe; Dr. Eckleburg; Corin Stormhands; Revelation 911; opus86; wmfights; Salvation

A man took his wife to the rodeo and one of the first exhibits they stopped at was the breeding bulls. They went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that said, "This bull mated 50 times last year." The wife
playfully nudged her husband in the ribs and said, "He mated 50 times last year."

They walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that said, "This bull mated 120 times last year." The wife gave her husband a healthy jab and said, "That's more than twice a week! You could learn a lot from him."

They walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached that said, in capital letters, "This bull mated 365 times last year." The wife, so excited that her elbow nearly broke her husband's ribs, said, "That's once a day. You could REALLY learn something from this one."

The husband looked at her and said, "Go over and ask him if it was with the same cow."

NOTE: The husband's condition has been upgraded from critical to stable and he should eventually make a full recovery.



22 posted on 02/02/2007 11:11:43 AM PST by blue-duncan
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To: blue-duncan; P-Marlowe; Dr. Eckleburg; Corin Stormhands; Revelation 911; opus86; wmfights

It will be sad to see another colt put down as Barbaro's passing still lies heavily on our hearts.


23 posted on 02/02/2007 11:15:22 AM PST by xzins (Retired Army Chaplain and proud of it! Supporting our troops means praying for them to WIN!)
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To: xzins

ouch


24 posted on 02/02/2007 11:17:11 AM PST by Corin Stormhands (http://www.virginiaisforrudy.com)
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To: Corin Stormhands; blue-duncan; Dr. Eckleburg
"Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."

Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann, 1996.

25 posted on 02/02/2007 12:33:51 PM PST by xzins (Retired Army Chaplain and proud of it! Supporting our troops means praying for them to WIN!)
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To: xzins; P-Marlowe; Dr. Eckleburg; Corin Stormhands; Revelation 911; opus86; wmfights

For those of us who are "maturing":

"Senior" personal ads

FOXY LADY:
Sexy, fashion-conscious blue-haired beauty, 80's, slim, 5'4" (used to be 5'6"), searching for sharp-looking, sharp-dressing companion. Matching white shoes and belt a plus.



LONG-TERM COMMITMENT:
Recent widow who has just buried fourth husband, and am looking for someone to round out a six-unit plot. Dizziness, fainting, shortness of breath not a problem.


SERENITY NOW:
I am into solitude, long walks, sunrises, the ocean, yoga and meditation. If you are the silent type, let's get together, take our hearing aids out and enjoy quiet times.


WINNING SMILE:
Active grandmother with original teeth seeking a dedicated flosser to share rare steaks, corn on the cob and caramel candy.


BEATLES OR STONES?
I still like to rock, still like to cruise in my Camaro on Saturday nights and still like to play the guitar. If you were a groovy chick, or are now a groovy hen, let's get together and listen to my eight-track tapes.


MEMORIES:
I can usually remember Monday through Thursday. If you can remember Friday, Saturday and Sunday, let's put our two heads together.


MINT CONDITION:
Male, 1932, high mileage, good condition, some hair, many new parts including hip, knee, cornea, valves. Isn't in running condition, but walks well.


26 posted on 02/02/2007 12:39:36 PM PST by blue-duncan
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To: blue-duncan; P-Marlowe; Dr. Eckleburg; Corin Stormhands; Revelation 911; opus86; wmfights

Two guys are talking about their boss's upcoming wedding.
One says, "It's ridiculous, he's rich, but he's 93 years old, and she's just 26! What kind of a wedding is that?"

The other says, "Well, we have a name for it in my family."

"What do you call it?"

"We call it a football wedding."

The first asks, "What's a football wedding?"

The other says, "She's waiting for him to kick off!"


27 posted on 02/02/2007 12:49:16 PM PST by xzins (Retired Army Chaplain and proud of it! Supporting our troops means praying for them to WIN!)
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To: xzins
humor with a bite is encouraged.

"one rabbit stew comin up"

28 posted on 02/02/2007 1:19:59 PM PST by Revelation 911 (sarcasm)
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To: xzins

29 posted on 02/02/2007 1:22:39 PM PST by Corin Stormhands (http://www.virginiaisforrudy.com)
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To: xzins; Admin Moderator; Religion Moderator; blue-duncan; Corin Stormhands; Buggman
Hey, this is a religious thread.

How did it end up in "General Chat"?

Please restore it to the Religion Forum.

Pretty Please

Thanks.

Marlowe.

Lord Protector and all that rot.

30 posted on 02/02/2007 9:48:56 PM PST by P-Marlowe (What happened to my tagline?)
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To: P-Marlowe

Welcome home.


31 posted on 02/02/2007 10:31:57 PM PST by Religion Moderator
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To: Religion Moderator; P-Marlowe

Thanks. I was afraid we were going to have to debate whether or not football is a religion.


32 posted on 02/03/2007 7:00:11 AM PST by Corin Stormhands (http://www.virginiaisforrudy.com)
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To: Corin Stormhands; xzins; P-Marlowe
LOL! In the future, either do not use a duplicate article for a neener "caucus" - or call it a "neener caucus but everyone welcome".

It looked like a regular sports article to the moderator.

33 posted on 02/03/2007 7:25:08 AM PST by Religion Moderator
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To: Religion Moderator; xzins; P-Marlowe

xzins did it.

Lord High Protector, I believe our brother hath deemed himself worthy of a visit to the....comfy chair.


34 posted on 02/03/2007 8:06:28 AM PST by Corin Stormhands (http://www.virginiaisforrudy.com)
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To: xzins

I hope the NFL doesn't find out about this thread. It owns the words "Super Bowl" and it doesn't let anyone use them without permission.


35 posted on 02/03/2007 8:28:15 AM PST by TBP
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To: Corin Stormhands; Religion Moderator; P-Marlowe; xzins

Football is a religion, football is a religion, football is a religion. Why do you think most of the intense football rivalry is in the bible belt? where is the Super Bowl being played and why in the afternoon? So the people can go to the 11:00 service.


36 posted on 02/03/2007 9:07:29 AM PST by blue-duncan
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To: Corin Stormhands; Religion Moderator; P-Marlowe; blue-duncan
xzins did it

The story of my life.

Try to do something nice and one group'll shoot at ya, and the other'll shove ya over into "chat."

I'm mad as _____, and I ain't gonna take it anymore! You won't have Dick Nixon to kick around.....

:>)

37 posted on 02/03/2007 9:55:21 AM PST by xzins (Retired Army Chaplain and proud of it! Supporting our troops means praying for them to WIN!)
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To: xzins; P-Marlowe; blue-duncan; Dr. Eckleburg
FOX news is reporting that they're sweeping the Miami stadium for evidence of the Hasbro terrorist...


38 posted on 02/03/2007 10:25:03 AM PST by Corin Stormhands (http://www.virginiaisforrudy.com)
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To: P-Marlowe; blue-duncan; jude24; Kolokotronis

These threads are barren if they don't have at least on lawyer joke. (Feel free to post preacher jokes to your hearts content....BUT...leave chaplains alone! :>)

If you ever testify in court, you might wish you could have been as sharp as this policeman. He was being cross-examined by a defense attorney during a felony trial. The lawyer was trying to undermine the policeman's credibility...

Q: "Officer -- did you see my client fleeing the scene?"
A: "No sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender, running several blocks away."
Q: "Officer -- who provided this description?"
A: "The officer who responded to the scene."
Q: "A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?"
A: "Yes, sir. With my life."
Q: "With your life? Let me ask you this then officer. Do you have a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?"
A: "Yes sir, we do!"
Q: "And do you have a locker in the room?"
A: "Yes sir, I do."
Q: "And do you have a lock on your locker?"
A: "Yes sir."
Q: "Now why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with these same officers?"
A: "You see, sir -- we share the building with the court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room."


39 posted on 02/03/2007 2:30:48 PM PST by xzins (Retired Army Chaplain and proud of it! Supporting our troops means praying for them to WIN!)
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Church 'Super Bowl' festivities may go on
wnd.com | Posted: February 2, 2007 | By Bob Unruh
Posted on 02/02/2007 8:47:12 PM EST by Perdogg
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1778396/posts


40 posted on 02/04/2007 2:31:06 PM PST by SunkenCiv (I last updated my profile on Saturday, February 3, 2007. https://secure.freerepublic.com/donate/)
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