Skip to comments.NFL Thwarts Church's Plan to Show Super Bowl (Neener WEEKEND Humor: SB, Jn 3:16, 7th Bowl)
Posted on 02/02/2007 9:18:21 AM PST by xzins
INDIANAPOLIS The NFL has nixed a church's plans to use a wall projector to show the Colts-Bears Super Bowl game, saying it would violate copyright laws.
NFL officials spotted a promotion of Fall Creek Baptist Church's "Super Bowl Bash" on the church Web site last week and overnighted a letter to the pastor demanding the party be canceled, the church said.
Initially, the league objected to the church's plan to charge a fee to attend and that the church used the license-protected words "Super Bowl" in its promotions.
Pastor John D. Newland said he told the NFL his church would not charge anyone and that it would drop the use of the forbidden words.
But the NFL objected to the church's plans to use a projector to show the game, saying the law limits it to one TV no bigger than 55 inches.
The church will likely abandon its plans to host a Super ...
...snip ...(Getting Ready for the Game NFL spokesman Greg Aiello said the league's long-standing policy is to ban "mass out-of-home viewing" of the Super Bowl. An exception is made for sports bars and other businesses that show televised sports as a part of their everyday operations.
...snip... Newland said his church won't break the law.
"It just frustrates me that most of the places where crowds are going to gather to watch this game are going to be places that are filled with alcohol and other things that are inappropriate for children," Newland said. "We tried to provide an alternative to that and were shut down."
(Excerpt) Read more at foxnews.com ...
The Rules are:
1. No lists
2. Dry seriousness discouraged; humor with a bite is encouraged.
3. All invitations to become Neeners for the Weedend will be issued by P-Marlowe, the Lord High Protector, etc., etc., initials galore.
THE SUPER BOWL TICKET
A man had 50 yard line tickets for the Super Bowl. As he sits down, a man
comes down and asks if anyone is sitting in the seat next to him.
"No," he says, "The seat is empty."
"This is incredible," said the man. "Who in their right mind would have a
seat like this for the Super Bowl, the biggest sporting event in the world,
and not use it?"
He says, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come
with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Super Bowl we haven't
been to together since we got married in 1987."
"Oh...I'm sorry to hear that. That's terrible. But couldn't you find
someone else, a friend or relative, or even a neighbor to take the seat?".
The man shakes his head. "No they're all at her funeral."
Seeing that this is a Religion forum it is only appropriate that we have some religious imput.
FIVE BEST THINGS TO SAY IF YOU GET CAUGHT SLEEPING AT YOUR DESK:
5. "They told me at the Blood Bank this might happen."
4. "This is just a 15 minute power nap they raved about in the time Management course you sent me to."
3. "Whew! Guess I left the top off the Whiteout. You probably got here just in time."
2. "Did you ever notice sound coming out of these keyboards when you put your ear down real close?"
And the NUMBER ONE best thing to say if you get caught sleeping at your desk...
1. Raise your head slowly and say, "...in Jesus' name, Amen."
Nine months pregnant and married to a fervent Bears fan with tickets to Sunday's NFC Championship game, Colleen Pavelka didn't want to risk going into labor during the game against the New Orleans Saints.
Due to give birth on Monday, Pavelka's doctor told her Friday she could induce labor early. She opted for the Friday delivery.
During the Super Bowl, there was another football game of note between the big animals and the small animals. The big animals were crushing small animals and at half-time, the coach made a passionate speech to rally the little animals.
At the start of the second half the big animals had the ball. The first play, the elephant got stopped for no gain. The second play, the rhino was stopped for no gain. On third down, the hippo was thrown for a 5 yard loss.
The defense huddled around the coach and he asked excitedly,
"Who stopped the elephant?"
"I did," said the centipede.
"Who stopped the rhino?"
"Uh, that was me too," said the centipede.
"And how about the hippo? Who hit him for a 5 yard loss?"
"Well, that was me as well," said the centipede.
"So where were you during the first half?" demanded the coach.
"Well," said the centipede, "I was having my ankles taped."
A married couple is driving along a highway doing a steady 60 miles per hour. The wife is behind the wheel. Her husband suddenly looks across at her and speaks in a clear voice. "I know we've been married for twenty years, but I want a divorce."
The wife says nothing, Keeps looking at the road ahead but slowly increases her speed to 65 mph.
The husband speaks again. "I don't want you to try and talk me out of it," He says, "because I've been having an affair with your best friend, And she's a far better lover than you are."
Again the wife stays quiet, But grips the steering wheel more tightly and slowly increases the speed to 75.
He pushes his luck. "I want the house," he says insistently.
Up to 80. "I want the car, too," he continues.
85 mph. "And," he says, "I'll have the bank accounts, all the credit cards and the boat!"
The car slowly starts veering towards a massive concrete bridge. This makes him nervous, so he asks her, "Isn't there anything you want?"
The wife at last replies in a quiet and controlled voice.
"No, I've got everything I need," she says.
"Oh, really," he inquires, "so what have you got?"
Just before they slam into the wall at 85 mph,The wife turns to him and smiles and says, "The airbag."
LOLOL. Where do you guys get these?
He told me he was going on vacation. Wait, there's more than one of him right?
What's this about the end of the Weed?
"Marlowe's not here..."
We might not be able to speak/pray/venerate/encase in plaster the dead, but I can almost hear my departed father yelling, "GO BEARS!!!" from down here.
lol. Maybe he's heading to Miami.
I hope he's not staying in a trailer park
Something he's doing for Willy Nelson.
Recently, I was at a Packers game. My seat wasn't the greatest, so when i noticed a vacant seat on the fifty yard line 10 rows up, I headed towards it. I asked the man sitting next to it if the seat was taken. He replied, "No".
I started talking to the man and I learned he owned the seat I was in. He said, "My wife use to love to come to these games until she died."
"Why didn't you give this seat away to a friend?" I asked.
He replied, "Because they are all at her funeral."
These 17 post threads are too much to expect me to know EVERYTHING!
Whaddaya think I am....nondenominational?
Oh, sorry. I keep forgetting you're a Short-Attention-Spanitarian.
There are always two ways to look at everything, I guess.
A man and his wife are dining at a table in a plush restaurant, and the husband keeps staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sits alone at a nearby table.
The wife asks, "Do you know her?"
"Yes," sighs the husband, "She's my ex-girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up seven years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since."
"My God!" says the wife, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long."
In order to save his marriage, a brilliant Bears fan married to a slow-witted Colts fan agrees to undergo experimental brain surgery to lower his IQ so that he too can root for the Colts. After the procedure, as he's being wheeled into recovery, the surgeon goes up to the man's wife. "I have awful news," he says. "We accidentally removed too much brain tissue, and the outlook for your husband is grim."
"Oh no, Doctor," says the wife, "what will that mean for him?!?"
Then, to her horror, she hears her husband weakly moaning: "Let's... go... Lions..."
A man took his wife to the rodeo and one of the first exhibits they stopped at was the breeding bulls. They went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that said, "This bull mated 50 times last year." The wife
playfully nudged her husband in the ribs and said, "He mated 50 times last year."
They walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that said, "This bull mated 120 times last year." The wife gave her husband a healthy jab and said, "That's more than twice a week! You could learn a lot from him."
They walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached that said, in capital letters, "This bull mated 365 times last year." The wife, so excited that her elbow nearly broke her husband's ribs, said, "That's once a day. You could REALLY learn something from this one."
The husband looked at her and said, "Go over and ask him if it was with the same cow."
NOTE: The husband's condition has been upgraded from critical to stable and he should eventually make a full recovery.
It will be sad to see another colt put down as Barbaro's passing still lies heavily on our hearts.
For those of us who are "maturing":
"Senior" personal ads
Sexy, fashion-conscious blue-haired beauty, 80's, slim, 5'4" (used to be 5'6"), searching for sharp-looking, sharp-dressing companion. Matching white shoes and belt a plus.
Two guys are talking about their boss's upcoming wedding.
One says, "It's ridiculous, he's rich, but he's 93 years old, and she's just 26! What kind of a wedding is that?"
The other says, "Well, we have a name for it in my family."
"What do you call it?"
"We call it a football wedding."
The first asks, "What's a football wedding?"
The other says, "She's waiting for him to kick off!"
"one rabbit stew comin up"
How did it end up in "General Chat"?
Please restore it to the Religion Forum.
Lord Protector and all that rot.
Thanks. I was afraid we were going to have to debate whether or not football is a religion.
It looked like a regular sports article to the moderator.
xzins did it.
Lord High Protector, I believe our brother hath deemed himself worthy of a visit to the....comfy chair.
I hope the NFL doesn't find out about this thread. It owns the words "Super Bowl" and it doesn't let anyone use them without permission.
Football is a religion, football is a religion, football is a religion. Why do you think most of the intense football rivalry is in the bible belt? where is the Super Bowl being played and why in the afternoon? So the people can go to the 11:00 service.
The story of my life.
Try to do something nice and one group'll shoot at ya, and the other'll shove ya over into "chat."
I'm mad as _____, and I ain't gonna take it anymore! You won't have Dick Nixon to kick around.....
These threads are barren if they don't have at least on lawyer joke. (Feel free to post preacher jokes to your hearts content....BUT...leave chaplains alone! :>)
If you ever testify in court, you might wish you could have been as sharp as this policeman. He was being cross-examined by a defense attorney during a felony trial. The lawyer was trying to undermine the policeman's credibility...
Q: "Officer -- did you see my client fleeing the scene?"
A: "No sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender, running several blocks away."
Q: "Officer -- who provided this description?"
A: "The officer who responded to the scene."
Q: "A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?"
A: "Yes, sir. With my life."
Q: "With your life? Let me ask you this then officer. Do you have a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?"
A: "Yes sir, we do!"
Q: "And do you have a locker in the room?"
A: "Yes sir, I do."
Q: "And do you have a lock on your locker?"
A: "Yes sir."
Q: "Now why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with these same officers?"
A: "You see, sir -- we share the building with the court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room."
Church 'Super Bowl' festivities may go on
wnd.com | Posted: February 2, 2007 | By Bob Unruh
Posted on 02/02/2007 8:47:12 PM EST by Perdogg