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Jack Van Impe Starts "Rumors of Wars" to Hasten the End Times
Tominthebox News Network® ^ | April 2007 | Thomas Slawson

Posted on 04/17/2007 7:42:53 PM PDT by topcat54

TROY, MICHIGAN

The Bible teaches that in the end times there will be 'wars and rumors of wars.' While popular Bible prophecy teacher Jack Van Impe has no control over the first part of that statement, he definitely believes he can contribute to the last part, and thus plans now to devote his ministry to the spread of 'rumors of wars.'

"I feel it is my calling and my duty to hasten the end times." Said Van Impe. "I can't start a war. I'm not the leader of a nation. But I can start 'rumors of wars,' and that's what I plan to do both on my weekly television show and through the medium of the internet from now on."

Van Impe's weekly program, Jack Van Impe Presents, is a weekly 30 minute show which usually features Van Impe offering 'up to the minute prophecy.' Weekly world events are looked at in light of prophetic passages in the Bible and connections of fulfillment are made.

"Just last week we saw the fulfillment of Isaiah 25:25 where it says, 'Like heat in drought, You subdue the uproar of aliens; Like heat by the shadow of a cloud, the song of the ruthless is silenced.'" Said Van Impe. "When Don Imus was fired from his radio program he was silenced, that was a direct fulfillment of this prophetic verse. There's no doubt about it."

But now Van Impe hopes to change the focus of his program so that the end will come quickly.

"We're going to go after this full force." He stated. "Just last week we ran a whole story about possible war between China and Australia, and this week we're doing a rumor of a war between the U.S. and all of Europe. Though such stories may or may not have any real factual basis behind them, the fact that we're spreading these rumors is itself a fulfillment of prophecy."

Further 'rumors' that Van Impe plans to spread include wars between Russia and China, World War III and Iran and Uganda. In addition Van Impe's website will begin including pictures of 'rumored skirmishes' between countries showing scenes of mass destruction.

"We want these rumors to spread far and wide." Said Van Impe. "The faster they spread and the more there are the quicker the end will come."


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: armageddon; doomsayer; endtimes; eschatology; falseprophet; jackvanimpe; rumorsofwars; televangelist; tribulation; vanimpe; wars

1 posted on 04/17/2007 7:42:56 PM PDT by topcat54
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To: topcat54

(Note the source folks!)


2 posted on 04/17/2007 7:44:36 PM PDT by Lee N. Field
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To: topcat54
"Just last week we saw the fulfillment of Isaiah 25:25 where it says, 'Like heat in drought, You subdue the uproar of aliens; Like heat by the shadow of a cloud, the song of the ruthless is silenced.'" Said Van Impe. "When Don Imus was fired from his radio program he was silenced, that was a direct fulfillment of this prophetic verse. There's no doubt about it."

It does not pay a prophet to be too specific.

L. Sprague de Camp


3 posted on 04/17/2007 7:53:15 PM PDT by Coyoteman (Religious belief does not constitute scientific evidence, nor does it convey scientific knowledge.)
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To: topcat54

“If I knew God I’d be Him.”


4 posted on 04/17/2007 7:58:49 PM PDT by onedoug
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To: topcat54
The Bible teaches that in the end times there will be 'wars and rumors of wars.'

It also mentions a false prophet, an 'antiChrist', who will deliberately lead the flock astray. Feeling some heat, Jack Scratch?

5 posted on 04/17/2007 8:07:08 PM PDT by weegee (Libs want us to learn to live with terrorism, but if a gun is used they want to rewrite the Const.)
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To: topcat54

His wife is a hottie!


6 posted on 04/17/2007 8:13:49 PM PDT by fkabuckeyesrule (Good News everyone!!!! It's baseball season!!!!!)
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To: topcat54

I respect a lot of his research and contacts . . . and some of his perspective . . .

But this sounds like one of his more hairbrained notions.

imho.


7 posted on 04/17/2007 8:35:18 PM PDT by Quix (GOD ALONE IS GOD; WORTHY; PAID THE PRICE; IS COMING AGAIN; KNOWS ALL; IS LOVING; IS ALTOGETHER GOOD!)
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To: topcat54

Very funny! Thanks for the laugh.


8 posted on 04/17/2007 8:56:47 PM PDT by Between the Lines (I am very cognizant of my fallibility, sinfulness, and other limitations. So should you.)
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To: Between the Lines

The sad/funny part is that the hard-core Dispensationalists think it’s true.


9 posted on 04/17/2007 9:03:41 PM PDT by topcat54 ("Light beer is the devil’s beverage.")
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To: topcat54

The end times won’t occur until the Sons of God appear. And believe me, nobody will have to tell anybody that the Sons of God are here, because the dead will be rising, the sick healed, the demons cast out, gravity will mean nothing to them, etc. on every street corner in the world.


10 posted on 04/17/2007 9:06:44 PM PDT by HisKingdomWillAbolishSinDeath (Christ's Kingdom on Earth is the answer. What is your question?)
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To: HisKingdomWillAbolishSinDeath

According to the former Canadian Defense Minister & Jimmy Carter, they are here, alive & well, in Area 51.


11 posted on 04/17/2007 9:44:15 PM PDT by ApplegateRanch (Islam: a Satanically Transmitted Disease, spread by unprotected intimate contact with the Koranus.)
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To: topcat54
No body changes God’s schedule. He should know better.
12 posted on 04/17/2007 9:47:30 PM PDT by ThomasThomas
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To: topcat54

These “end time” prophecies fit every generation.


13 posted on 04/17/2007 10:27:55 PM PDT by Macoraba
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To: topcat54

Are you aware of the oneness pentacostal preacher in Mississippi who is raising red heifers to be sent to Isreal and sacrificed in the temple? Google Clyde Lott. Who needs satire?


14 posted on 04/18/2007 6:30:17 AM PDT by Augustinian monk
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To: topcat54

He offers a course in “How to Make People Hate You So That They Persecute You So That You Feel Good About Yourself”

That’s funny.


15 posted on 04/18/2007 6:43:21 AM PDT by dangus
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To: fkabuckeyesrule
His wife is a hottie!

You need to get out more.

16 posted on 04/18/2007 7:08:35 AM PDT by Lee N. Field
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To: Quix
I respect a lot of his research and contacts . . . and some of his perspective . . .

But this sounds like one of his more hairbrained notions.

[pssssst] -- " Tominthebox News Network® is a satirical online blog written by Thomas Slawson. All names of people or places mentioned in stories are fictional, except when a public figure is being satarized."

It's a joke, son, it's a joke!

17 posted on 04/18/2007 7:15:06 AM PDT by Lee N. Field
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To: Lee N. Field
It's a joke, son, it's a joke!

When one lives in a fantasy world it's hard to tell the difference.

18 posted on 04/18/2007 8:07:58 AM PDT by topcat54 ("Light beer is the devil’s beverage.")
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To: Lee N. Field
He needs to get out more AND make an appt. with the eye doctor. ;^)

CC&E

19 posted on 04/18/2007 11:45:33 AM PDT by Calm_Cool_and_Elected (So many books, so little time!)
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To: topcat54

Jack Van Impe has been a source of amusement for a long time, but I cringe at all the non-Christians who try to place the rest of us rational Christians in the same category as van Impe.


20 posted on 04/19/2007 3:50:02 PM PDT by needlenose_neely
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To: topcat54

Why do the quacks always have their wives up there with them? You don’t see a CFO with a corporation dragging his wife up to participate in his presentation, so why do televangelists do it?


21 posted on 04/19/2007 4:01:49 PM PDT by WhyisaTexasgirlinPA (I won't settle)
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To: needlenose_neely

We Christians only have ourselves to blame for supporting the likes of these folks.


22 posted on 04/19/2007 9:22:42 PM PDT by topcat54 ("Light beer is the devil’s beverage.")
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To: topcat54

I agree. Sadly, not enough are willing to stand up against the sophistry permeating Christianity today. Matthew 7:1 has been so misused to support a postmodernist view of truth within the Christian community.


23 posted on 04/24/2007 12:13:43 PM PDT by needlenose_neely
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To: fkabuckeyesrule
"His wife is a hottie!"

She also comes across as being the brains of the outfit.

24 posted on 04/24/2007 1:03:31 PM PDT by joebuck
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To: topcat54
We Christians only have ourselves to blame for supporting the likes of these folks.

says the pot to the kettle.

25 posted on 04/24/2007 1:08:57 PM PDT by Invincibly Ignorant
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To: needlenose_neely
"Sadly, not enough are willing to stand up against the sophistry permeating Christianity today. Matthew 7:1 has been so misused....."

Roger that. It's a pity these same "Christians" don't read along a little farther in Chapter 7 of Matthew, until they get to verse 21. If they spent any time trying to understand what Jesus is saying in verses 21-23 they'd cry themselves to sleep every night.

26 posted on 04/24/2007 1:09:37 PM PDT by joebuck
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