TV Evangelists Unite to Beam Gospel to the Stars

the specious report ^ | 2.11.2008 | starbird

[Alex Murphy]

The four biggest names in American Televangelism have united for an evangelistic outreach that is truly out of this world. Paul Crouch, Benny Hinn, Pat Robertson and Kenneth Copeland announced earlier today that they have purchased the Jodrell Bank Radio Telescope from the University of Manchester in Great Britain for a reported $130 million. The University had been looking to unload the Radio Telescope after funding for ongoing scientific research had dried up from the British Government.

Faith healer Benny Hinn shared a vision that Jesus gave him several months ago, on a recent Praise The Lord broadcast: "I was on one of my pilgrimages to the grave of Kathryn Khulman, and praying and weeping before the Lord, when Jesus came to me. I'm not sure if it was a vision, or the actual physical presence of Jesus in that Mausoleum. But I can tell you this, the Spirit was heavy upon me. Jesus spoke to me, and said, 'Benny, I have called you to take my Gospel to the end of the earth. Now I am calling you to take the Gospel to a new level. I want you to penetrate the heavens with my Gospel.'" Within weeks, Hinn learned of the plight of the Jodrell Bank facility. It was then, Hinn claims, that the Lord made it clear to him. "He told me, that radio telescope will be the instrument for taking my Gospel to the ends of the heavens."

Hinn approached Paul Crouch, Kenneth Copeland, Pat Robertson, founder of the Christian Broadcasting Network, and several other television evangelists. Only the "Big Four" showed any interest in joining together to purchase the facility. The deal, worth a reported $130 million, went ahead and was finalized January 23.

Pat Robertson stated, "I have long believed that there are other forms of intelligent life that God has created in the universe. This is the perfect opportunity to take the Gospel of Jesus to these lost souls. I believe that Adam's fall in the Garden of Eden affected all of creation, here on earth and wherever else God chose to create life in this vast universe. These poor beings would never have the chance to hear the Gospel if we did not undertake this tremendous opportunity. Think of the billions of souls of God's other children that will be saved from the fires of eternal punishment."

Crouch stated that the Radio Telescope Ministry will operate as a subsidiary of his Trinity Broadcasting Network. He also said that the telescope will be used to broadcast some of the more popular shows from that network to about 100 stars within a radius of about 200 light years. It is expected that those shows will include Hinn's Miracle Crusades. Crouch says, "These, what we call aliens, are really God's children, and what better messenger than Benny Hinn to demonstrate the power of the Gospel to those folk."

Pat Robertson said that he is also working hand-in-hand with Crouch to provide quality Christ centered programming, such as the popular 700 Club. Kenneth Copeland, who recently bought a $20 million Citation X, has plans to go even higher. Copeland has shown an interest in developing a sub-orbital "space plane" that would give supporters the opportunity of a lifetime - a ride to space, and the opportunity to see, literally, where their donations to the "Mission To The Heavens" are going. The proposed "Jesus Galactic" space plane will allow donors to experience weightlessness for a total of six minutes.

Hinn says he believes that he will be earth's first emissary to an alien world. "As we were walking around the telescope praying over the property, breaking any curses that Satan may have placed upon that property because of the godless actions of atheist scientists, Jesus came to me. Jesus came to me and said, 'Benny, I am going to send you to the heavens.' Wow! Can you believe it? He told me that there is a planet a few dozen light years - that's the distance light travels in one year, that's a light year, and it's a long way. He said this planet, and he gave me the name, Zeta Reticuli, and I spoke to astronomers and they confirmed that there is a planet named that out there. Jesus said, 'I am going to send you there, and you are going to preach my glory.' I asked the Lord, how I was going to go there, and he said, 'Those space ships in Texas that people have been seeing, they're coming for you.'"

The telescope is undergoing some refitting to accommodate television broadcast signals. The "Space TV" evangelists expect to have the telescope ready to broadcast it's first signal on Easter Sunday. Crouch states, "What a tremendous witness. The first directed television signal broadcast to another star will present the Gospel of Jesus Christ!" That first message will be Mel Gibson's The Passion of The Christ followed by the Tim LaHaye end times thriller Left Behind starring former Growing Pains star, Kirk Cameron.

[Alex Murphy]

Crouch stated that the Radio Telescope Ministry will operate as a subsidiary of his Trinity Broadcasting Network. He also said that the telescope will be used to broadcast some of the more popular shows from that network to about 100 stars within a radius of about 200 light years. It is expected that those shows will include Hinn's Miracle Crusades. Crouch says, "These, what we call aliens, are really God's children, and what better messenger than Benny Hinn to demonstrate the power of the Gospel to those folk."...

...Hinn says he believes that he will be earth's first emissary to an alien world. "As we were walking around the telescope praying over the property, breaking any curses that Satan may have placed upon that property because of the godless actions of atheist scientists, Jesus came to me. Jesus came to me and said, 'Benny, I am going to send you to the heavens.' Wow! Can you believe it? He told me that there is a planet a few dozen light years - that's the distance light travels in one year, that's a light year, and it's a long way. He said this planet, and he gave me the name, Zeta Reticuli, and I spoke to astronomers and they confirmed that there is a planet named that out there. Jesus said, 'I am going to send you there, and you are going to preach my glory.' I asked the Lord, how I was going to go there, and he said, 'Those space ships in Texas that people have been seeing, they're coming for you.'"

[mnehring]

This has to be a joke, right?

[Greg F]

Yah, it’s a joke. Problem with internet satire is that it becomes urban legend.

[Pyro7480]

Benny Hinn?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5lvU-DislkI

[mnehring]

Yah, it’s a joke. Problem with internet satire is that it becomes urban legend.

Worse, the problem with Benny Hinn and other TBN Televangelists is we wouldn't put it past them to pull something like this.

[Augustinian monk]

This is dangerous. Such a signal could be used as a homing device by hostile advanced species.

[TommyDale]

After all the fleecing in recent years, this would not surprise me in the least if it were actually true.

[JoanVarga]

Gotta admit, that's pretty close satire! I totally bought it for a few paragraphs.

-Joan

[onedoug]

Such a signal could be used as a homing device by hostile advanced species.

Like the ones sending it?

[Terriergal]

Have you seen the video of Hinn’s wife?

“Holy Ghost Enema” — speaking of aliens and sending the gospel to the moon...
http://www.beliefnet.com/story/3/story_317_1.html

[Terriergal]

lol
well we’ll just have Benny rebuke them.

[Terriergal]

BTW he has a holy ghost machine gun with which he can mow them down for us.

Benny promises “your children will pay” for your attacking him
http://www.bereanfaith.com/heresy/bennythreat.wav

here’s a bunch of nasty quotes from him.
http://www.bereanfaith.com/heresy.php?action=aquote&id=1

[Augustinian monk]

The enema “sermon” is a classic. There is a dvd you can order from the trinity foundation/door magazine with that clip as well as lot of other weird false teachers.

[Sloth]

Wow, I read all the way through this without the slightest doubt that it was true. This sort of thing would not be out of character for these charlatans.

[Cronos]

Benny Hinn,

Benny Hinn -- do we really want aliens to think THAT guy is representative of humanity? I can just imagine a Vorlock saying "Krcz, these Gaiains are just insane, let's vaporise them before they infect the rest of the galaxy with their madness"

[Just mythoughts]

I had no idea things had gotten so bad for some they have to hunt aliens for church membership.