Free Republic
Browse · Search
Religion
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

Death Can't Steal Love
White Bunny Ranch ^ | 4/2/09 | Scarlett

Posted on 04/05/2009 12:05:50 PM PDT by Bokababe

My father died alone, surrounded by all of us who loved him. His beloved breath was labored for the last, long, eight hours of his life while we hung on every whisper of air that kept him alive. In the living room, my mother, brother, sister and I talked quietly about the past and a future without him. I'd known him all of my life. He was as familiar to me as my own face in the mirror each morning. His impending death was incomprehensible, even to a Christian soul. Funny, we intellectually expect the arrival of death someday, but emotionally we're never prepared. I didn't know how it would feel to lose anyone I loved. My dad was the first.

(Excerpt) Read more at whitebunnyranch.com ...


TOPICS: Ecumenism; General Discusssion; Orthodox Christian; Other Christian
KEYWORDS: death; dying
This was written by a friend of mine a few years ago and recently published to her website. I think it is valuable reading for those who are losing or have lost a parent, to understand that you are not alone.
1 posted on 04/05/2009 12:05:50 PM PDT by Bokababe
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies]

To: Bokababe

“My father died alone, surrounded by all of us who loved him.”

?????????????????


2 posted on 04/05/2009 12:15:12 PM PDT by SendShaqtoIraq
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Bokababe

Yep..., that brings back some thoughts to me. My dad died alone in the Skilled Nursing facility, where he was at, before he was improved enough to go home. But, he was having trouble “improving” at that point in time, though.

I had been going back and forth from the facility and back home again, several times a day. And in one of those “in-between times” he died. It was in the middle of the afternoon and it was peaceful and quiet for him, so that’s fine. And he did know the Lord, so now I say, my dad is “in government work” these days. He’s being prepped to be part of the coming world-wide government that is going to be installed on this earth and he will be part of the ruling and reigning over the nations of this world, when the time comes for the Messiah of Israel to establish *His government* over this world. That time is coming soon.

So, although I was hoping to have him stick around long enough to see the Rapture in, it appears he went ahead of me. That’s okay, I’ll see him soon enough...


3 posted on 04/05/2009 12:16:00 PM PDT by Star Traveler
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: SendShaqtoIraq

Read “The Jilting of Granny Weatherall”.

Or not.


4 posted on 04/05/2009 12:18:54 PM PDT by patton (I hope that they fight to the death and both sides win.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: Bokababe

I don’t understand the first line..
He was not alone, was he?


5 posted on 04/05/2009 12:23:27 PM PDT by MS.BEHAVIN (Women who behave rarely make history)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: MS.BEHAVIN
"I don’t understand the first line.. He was not alone, was he?"

I think that she was alluding to the fact that he was the only one dying -- even surrounded by family, he made that journey alone.

6 posted on 04/05/2009 12:26:48 PM PDT by Bokababe (Save Christian Kosovo! http://www.savekosovo.org)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 5 | View Replies]

To: Bokababe

Oh, I see!
A jouney we all will make someday.
It is a wonderful story of love..
Thank you for sharing it with us!


7 posted on 04/05/2009 12:30:28 PM PDT by MS.BEHAVIN (Women who behave rarely make history)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 6 | View Replies]

To: patton
"Read “The Jilting of Granny Weatherall”."

The beautiful visions before death, yes. Her Dad wasn't the first and likely won't be the last to have them.

8 posted on 04/05/2009 12:31:06 PM PDT by Bokababe (Save Christian Kosovo! http://www.savekosovo.org)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 4 | View Replies]

To: Bokababe

I don’t think that is the point of the story - who jilted Granny?


9 posted on 04/05/2009 12:33:44 PM PDT by patton (I hope that they fight to the death and both sides win.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 8 | View Replies]

To: MS.BEHAVIN

I get it. My dad was also in a coma at the end. I listened to him breath for what seemed like forever. I lived in his hospital room with him for 10 days, waiting for the for the unspeakable to happen. My dad would not hear of hospice. He fought till the end, and I was his cheerleader. It was just the two of us. I rarely left his side, but he seemed very much alone during this time.


10 posted on 04/05/2009 12:34:04 PM PDT by TexasBeth
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 5 | View Replies]

To: Star Traveler
My dad died Nov 12th. He fought cancer for many years & his body couldn't take it anymore. He was 86 yrs old. I had never been around anyone dying & Hospice was great to our family. My 22 yr old son hung on to his grandpa's hand for 12 hrs straight. Finally we had to tell Jon to let go & tell his beloved grandpa it was time to go. Shortly afterward my dad just slipped away. I learned not to fear death that night. My parents had always made sure as a child I didn't go to funerals. I didn't do that with my children & I think it was more healthy for them. On Dec 12, one month later I lost my older sister. I wish I could have been there but she was far from me. I hope her death was as peaceful as our father's.
11 posted on 04/05/2009 12:34:55 PM PDT by pandoraou812 (Don't play leapfrog with a unicorn! ...........^............)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 3 | View Replies]

To: TexasBeth

Please accept my condolences for your loss.
I lost my Dad a year ago this past January.
I understand what you mean, as that had been his case too.
It is a journey that every one of us will face alone.
When I first read the piece, the meaning of that first sentence escaped me.


12 posted on 04/05/2009 12:38:56 PM PDT by MS.BEHAVIN (Women who behave rarely make history)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 10 | View Replies]

To: pandoraou812

For Christians, it’s a sad time, too, to be separated for a while, but it’s offset by the knowledge of the coming reunion soon...

They’ve gone on a trip ahead of us.

I know that some people think these are simply “words” meant to make it easier for the time-being. But, not really..., it’s a very real thing and it’s what will happen with anyone who is a Christian. I wouldn’t bother with mere words, if they didn’t contain absolute truth, according to the absolute, inerrant and infallible Word of God...


13 posted on 04/05/2009 12:41:02 PM PDT by Star Traveler
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 11 | View Replies]

To: patton
"I don’t think that is the point of the story - who jilted Granny?"

I'm sorry, I hadn't read the book -- I just looked it up when you mentioned it and that was the strongest impression of one of the readers -- the visions before death -- and that's what I thought you were referring to.

14 posted on 04/05/2009 12:45:10 PM PDT by Bokababe (Save Christian Kosovo! http://www.savekosovo.org)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 9 | View Replies]

To: Bokababe

Not a book - a five-minute read.

http://people.morrisville.edu/~whitnemr/html/The%20Jilting%20of%20Granny%20Weatherall.htm


15 posted on 04/05/2009 12:47:29 PM PDT by patton (I hope that they fight to the death and both sides win.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 14 | View Replies]

To: Star Traveler
They’ve gone on a trip ahead of us.

I lay awake at night & that is just what I think. I pray quite a bit too which helps. I never thought I would lose my parents & my siblings so early. Your words give me comfort, thanks.

16 posted on 04/05/2009 1:01:01 PM PDT by pandoraou812 (Don't play leapfrog with a unicorn! ...........^............)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 13 | View Replies]

To: Star Traveler; TexasBeth; pandoraou812

I’m sorry for all of your losses. It’s hard to lose a parent, no matter when or how.

I lost my own beloved father nine years ago at age 93. But my experience of his death was very different. I was 3000 miles away when I got the call that he had passed. And for his sake, not mine, I was glad that he was finely free of being bedridden, unable to move, speak or eat, for nearly nine months before he died.

In some ways, my friend’s father’s death was more real to me because I was there, in the background when she was going through this.

Her dad was out supervising the felling of a tree in her yard on Tuesday, but complained of a back ache that night. Within two days, he as paralyzed and they discovered he had bone cancer that was terminal and eating through his spine. By Sunday, he was gone.

Her dad asked to go to her house and she agreed that she wanted him to die there — the family gathering place — even though everyone in her family thought that she was crazy and that she would never be able to walk though her living room without thinking of his death there. Now, no one doubts that it was the right thing to do. And as sad as it was, it was also beautiful.

There are some elements of tradition that sustain us through times like that — surrounded by loved ones in a familiar place as you enter into the world and if possible, the same loving cradle when you die. I am very sorry that I was not able to give that to my own father, because he certainly deserved it.


17 posted on 04/05/2009 1:01:43 PM PDT by Bokababe (Save Christian Kosovo! http://www.savekosovo.org)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 3 | View Replies]

To: MS.BEHAVIN

I’m so sorry about your dad. It’s been 2 1/2 years for me. Amazing how reading this brought it all flooding back.


18 posted on 04/05/2009 1:10:29 PM PDT by TexasBeth
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 12 | View Replies]

To: TexasBeth

Thank you.
Yes, it brings it all flooding back, but then too, it brought alot of smiles about stuff he did when I was growing up.
He taught me how to drive a Jeep that had a stick shift.
When the drving lesson was over, he would get out of the Jeep, and kiss the ground, the front porch, etc...and thank the Lord for his life!
*smiling*
We need to remind ourselves of the joy of having them, too!


19 posted on 04/05/2009 1:18:26 PM PDT by MS.BEHAVIN (Women who behave rarely make history)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 18 | View Replies]

To: MS.BEHAVIN

My parents divorced when I was young, and things were not great between us. We discovered an appreciation for each other later in life, after my husband got out of the military. We had ten years of really enjoying each other, and I’m so greatful, that we moved back home and shared our daughter with him. He was only 65 when he left us.

Sounds like your dad was a really great guy!


20 posted on 04/05/2009 1:34:41 PM PDT by TexasBeth
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 19 | View Replies]

To: MS.BEHAVIN
"Yes, it brings it all flooding back, but then too, it brought alot of smiles about stuff he did when I was growing up. He taught me how to drive a Jeep that had a stick shift. When the drving lesson was over, he would get out of the Jeep, and kiss the ground, the front porch, etc...and thank the Lord for his life! *smiling* We need to remind ourselves of the joy of having them, too!"

That's so sweet Ms. and funny!

You are right, we do need to be appreciative of the fact that they LIVED, not just that they died. I can never think of my father, without seeing a smile on his face. He was a happy man, in spite of a very difficult life.

It may sound strange, but I have never once doubted that those I've lost are waiting for me, to bring me home. I've been through other crises of Faith -- more in my ability to deal with things, than the Love of God for me and all of us-- but that idea that they will be waiting for us when it's our time to go, is as real to me as gravity.

21 posted on 04/05/2009 1:36:29 PM PDT by Bokababe (Save Christian Kosovo! http://www.savekosovo.org)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 19 | View Replies]

To: TexasBeth

He was, and he had a great sense of humor!
I am glad that you got reaquainted with your Dad before he passed on.
65 was far too young!
Mine was 78 when he crossed over.
He had a rare blood disorder, and dementia that hit him hard and fast.
He is free from all that, now.


22 posted on 04/05/2009 1:44:29 PM PDT by MS.BEHAVIN (Women who behave rarely make history)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 20 | View Replies]

To: Bokababe

“It may sound strange, but I have never once doubted that those I’ve lost are waiting for me, to bring me home. I’ve been through other crises of Faith — more in my ability to deal with things, than the Love of God for me and all of us— but that idea that they will be waiting for us when it’s our time to go, is as real to me as gravity.”

In that belief, we are two peas in a pod!
;0)


23 posted on 04/05/2009 1:46:05 PM PDT by MS.BEHAVIN (Women who behave rarely make history)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 21 | View Replies]

To: patton
"I don’t think that is the point of the story - who jilted Granny?"

An old fiance, who she recalled on her deathbed many years later. Weird how all that stuff can stay with you to the end.

24 posted on 04/05/2009 1:57:45 PM PDT by Bokababe (Save Christian Kosovo! http://www.savekosovo.org)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 9 | View Replies]

To: Bokababe; MS.BEHAVIN; Star Traveler; TexasBeth

I am sorry for everyone’s loss of loved one. I think the hardest thing is for a parent to lose their child. My dad lost my mom , then my brother. I was thankful he wasn’t here to see my sister die. I try to find comfort in the fact that they are all together now.


25 posted on 04/05/2009 1:58:46 PM PDT by pandoraou812 (Don't play leapfrog with a unicorn! ...........^............)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 17 | View Replies]

To: Bokababe

Nope, G_D.


26 posted on 04/05/2009 2:01:19 PM PDT by patton (I hope that they fight to the death and both sides win.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 24 | View Replies]

To: Bokababe

The point to the story, is that we all die alone.

It will test your faith.

But that is OK - G_D meant for us to be tested, now and agian.


27 posted on 04/05/2009 2:02:47 PM PDT by patton (I hope that they fight to the death and both sides win.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 24 | View Replies]

To: SendShaqtoIraq

We are born alone, and we die alone.


28 posted on 04/05/2009 2:04:38 PM PDT by fanfan (God, Bless America, please.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: Star Traveler

“For Christians, it’s a sad time, too, to be separated for a while, but it’s offset by the knowledge of the coming reunion soon...”

My dad, a minister for 50+ years, passed away last September. After the closing prayer at the funeral, the whole family sang the chorus of “When We All Get To Heaven”. The rest of the congregation was a little surprised, but it seemed fitting.


29 posted on 04/05/2009 2:20:12 PM PDT by MayflowerMadam (I feel much better since I gave up hope.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 13 | View Replies]

To: patton; Bokababe
The point to the story, is that we all die alone.

It will test your faith.

But that is OK - G_D meant for us to be tested, now and agian.

Very depressing story, for me.

30 posted on 04/05/2009 2:29:26 PM PDT by thecodont
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 27 | View Replies]

To: Star Traveler

My husband’s aunt was dying this fall her son lives here and was there for her but he had to go out of town for a few days and her daughter came and stayed for over a month. In the meantime their brother’s wife of 40 yrs was also dying and the daughter wanted to see her SIL before she died, so the day after Thanksgiving she started her journey to see her SIL, she was about half way when they called her and said her SIL had died so she decided to spend the night where she was and return to her mother the next morning and her mother died at 12:01 AM that night.


31 posted on 04/05/2009 2:33:31 PM PDT by tiki (True Christians will not deliberately slander or misrepresent others or their beliefs)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 3 | View Replies]

To: pandoraou812

My kids were 7 and 9 when my FIL died, when my older son realized that he was dying he asked us if he could stay with him and take care of him. My FIL could still get around then and after a little talk and some trepidation we allowed it to happen. Grandpa Bill did a lot more caring for my son than the other way around but they were together. After that he went into the hospital for about 6 wks and my sons couldn’t see him anymore and I think that hurt them more than suffering and hurting with him.

He died in April and we are farmers and my husband had a lot of work to do, I mean, if you don’t get the land prepped and planted in time your whole year is shot but he wanted to be with his father. I just told him that love and family were worth more than money any day and he should be with his father and we would deal with what came.

I even took the kids out of school for a few weeks at the end because the hospital was 4 hrs away. When we returned home all our land prep work had been done and it was ready to plant. My husband nor I ever asked for any help but our friends came and did it all.

At the funeral my kids asked me if they could look at him in the casket and I left it up to them, when they approached they both cried like crazy but I still think it was best for them.


32 posted on 04/05/2009 2:49:16 PM PDT by tiki (True Christians will not deliberately slander or misrepresent others or their beliefs)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 11 | View Replies]

To: pandoraou812

I think it’s hardest for a parent to lose a child, too.
My brother lost his only son to cancer..
Still, I try to remember that we have our family for a time, and that we will all be reunited one day.
It’s also a good lesson that I should tell the people that I love, that I do love them, while they are here.
(and while I am, too!)


33 posted on 04/05/2009 2:54:10 PM PDT by MS.BEHAVIN (Women who behave rarely make history)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 25 | View Replies]

To: MS.BEHAVIN

Very true! So sorry for your loss. Pandy


34 posted on 04/05/2009 3:03:59 PM PDT by pandoraou812 (Don't play leapfrog with a unicorn! ...........^............)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 33 | View Replies]

To: tiki

I am so sorry for your loss. My son was totally amazing with his grandpa. I couldn’t be more proud of him for staying right there. Later he told me if he had to stay for days he would have. My dad was very much afraid of death & my son knew it. Hospice was such a help to my family. Sounds like you have some great friends.


35 posted on 04/05/2009 3:07:56 PM PDT by pandoraou812 (Don't play leapfrog with a unicorn! ...........^............)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 32 | View Replies]

To: thecodont

Yes - now you have to have faith.

Of all the things I have read in my life, that short story set me back more than any other.

I would not show it to children - it is a story for adults.


36 posted on 04/05/2009 3:12:25 PM PDT by patton (I hope that they fight to the death and both sides win.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 30 | View Replies]

To: patton
Yes - now you have to have faith.

Even Jesus, at the moment of His death, asked God why He had forsaken Him.

37 posted on 04/05/2009 3:15:01 PM PDT by thecodont
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 36 | View Replies]

To: thecodont

I am thinking that he got over it.

BTW, the second creepiest thing I ever read, was “Insomnia”, by King. {{Shudder}}. Couldn’t sleep for a week.

Interesting little story that lady wrote, eh?


38 posted on 04/05/2009 3:19:34 PM PDT by patton (I hope that they fight to the death and both sides win.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 37 | View Replies]

To: tiki

What loving folks you have around you. Treasure them.


39 posted on 04/05/2009 3:25:33 PM PDT by patton (I hope that they fight to the death and both sides win.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 32 | View Replies]

To: thecodont; patton
The point to the story, is that we all die alone. It will test your faith. But that is OK - G_D meant for us to be tested, now and agian.

Very depressing story, for me.

Granny's story was very depressing to me, too.

As far as "God testing us", none of us know what it is going to be like when we go. It's an impossible story to write in the first person. Maybe God didn't much like granny -- she wasn't one of my favorite people either.

And yes, Patton, it did clearly say that she was jilted by a guy named George, before she married her husband.

Our priest's wife works as a nurse in the cancer ward of a local hospital. She's said that there is a clear difference in the attitudes of those terminally ill patients with Faith and those without it. She said that those with Faith are almost always at peace with their fate and are often more worried about the feelings of those around them than they are for themselves when they are dying. Those without Faith are almost invariably angry, acting as though they've gotten gypped out of something, even when they are very old. She said that often the greatest test of Faith is on the living when the person dying is very young, or with young with small children. She knew a doctor who gave up oncology after treating a young women in her early thirties with four young children, who was terminal. He said he just couldn't do it anymore, lose patient after patient like that (which cancer doctors do) -- especially after seeing that young woman die. Losing her was just the straw that broke the camels back for him.

40 posted on 04/05/2009 6:13:05 PM PDT by Bokababe (Save Christian Kosovo! http://www.savekosovo.org)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 30 | View Replies]

To: tiki

Yours is a beautiful true story of love, tiki. Your children, your friends and your love for your husband shine through. You are blessed —and are a blessing to your family!


41 posted on 04/05/2009 6:18:32 PM PDT by Bokababe (Save Christian Kosovo! http://www.savekosovo.org)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 32 | View Replies]

To: Bokababe

Yes it did - and that is a metaphor for what is really going on.

Sorry about your DR friend - that is a job, I could not handle.


42 posted on 04/05/2009 6:19:27 PM PDT by patton (I hope that they fight to the death and both sides win.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 40 | View Replies]

To: patton

>I don’t think that is the point of the story - who jilted Granny?<

The author speaks of “another bridegroom”. I’d be surprised if the author was a born-again Christian after reading her very disturbing short story.

A true story - my cousins’ mother died within the past week. A couple of days before she died, she saw her deceased 2nd husband sitting in her room. My cousin thought nothing of it at the time. Later that evening, my cousin was sitting alone in the living room reading. She heard heavy footsteps in the hallway. She then felt something push her hard, from behind. My cousin, before this, has always scoffed at paranormal stories. Now, she’s not so sure.

Was her step-father announcing his presence? After her mom died, all unexplainable activity ceased.


43 posted on 04/05/2009 9:50:20 PM PDT by Darnright (There can never be a complete confidence in a power which is excessive. - Tacitus)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 9 | View Replies]

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
Religion
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson