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Joel Osteen Heresy Gauge
What?..Um theological satire ^ | August 6, 2007 | Seth

Posted on 04/28/2009 1:02:55 PM PDT by Alex Murphy

How to determine when Joel Osteen is speaking heresy:



TOPICS: Evangelical Christian; Humor; Ministry/Outreach; Theology
KEYWORDS: feelgoodgospel; goobergospel; hinnjr; hiswifegotinafight; joelosteen; osteen; tbnclone

1 posted on 04/28/2009 1:02:55 PM PDT by Alex Murphy
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To: Alex Murphy

Heheh. You prots really dislike these guys, eh?


2 posted on 04/28/2009 1:04:12 PM PDT by mbraynard (You are the Republican Party. See you at the precinct meeting.)
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To: mbraynard

Have RCers embraced him?


3 posted on 04/28/2009 1:07:43 PM PDT by Laissez-faire capitalist (Keep working! Welfare cases and their liberal enablers are counting on you!)
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To: mbraynard

Yup, kinda like the way you caths dislike wayward priests.


4 posted on 04/28/2009 1:08:27 PM PDT by AxelPaulsenJr (Please God Save The United States From The Democrats, and Barack Hussein Obama. Amen.)
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To: Laissez-faire capitalist

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO....he seems like a FRAUD!!!


5 posted on 04/28/2009 1:08:57 PM PDT by Ann Archy (Abortion....the Human Sacrifice to the god of Convenience.)
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To: Ann Archy

I agree.


6 posted on 04/28/2009 1:09:40 PM PDT by Laissez-faire capitalist (Keep working! Welfare cases and their liberal enablers are counting on you!)
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Comment #7 Removed by Moderator

To: Alex Murphy

Fantastic! This man has no business preaching “The Gospel”.

Wait...that is exactly his “business”.

Osteen makes me physically ill when I mistakenly happen upon him speaking. My Savior...the Lord Jesus Christ...will never know this heretic.


8 posted on 04/28/2009 1:10:28 PM PDT by The Unknown Republican
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To: ArmyBratproud

Wow, someone got up today on the wrong side of the army cot.


9 posted on 04/28/2009 1:12:37 PM PDT by AxelPaulsenJr (Please God Save The United States From The Democrats, and Barack Hussein Obama. Amen.)
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To: Laissez-faire capitalist

Christian pastors preach “Christ and Him crucified.” Joel Osteen seems to preach “Joel Osteen and him glorified.” When Joel preaches about Christ, he often says Jesus is an example for us, not our Savior. Hence the hesitancy on the part of many traditional Christians to jump aboard the Osteen bandwagon.


10 posted on 04/28/2009 1:12:44 PM PDT by T Baden
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To: Alex Murphy
He is a heretic according traditional or classical Christianity. The problem with many Christians is that they have no understanding of historic Christianity. They think that the Gospel started with them. What Christians have believed, taught, and confessed for two thousand years means absolutely nothing. The current non-historic Christian is simply moralistic, therapeutic, deism (MTD). The god of Osteen exists to make you feel good about yourself is little more than a Cosmic Bellhop. Osteen’s god has nothing in common with either the God of the Bible or historic Christianity.
11 posted on 04/28/2009 1:19:21 PM PDT by Nosterrex
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To: T Baden

I’m hesitant to jump on any of them.

I don’t trust all the feelgood psychobabble prosperity preaching I see on TV.


12 posted on 04/28/2009 1:20:07 PM PDT by Califreak (Obama is Swahili for "Death to America")
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To: Alex Murphy

He’s kind of a modern-day update of Norman Vincent Peale “Power of Positive Thinking”. He generally gives good advice on how to live your life with a positive attitude, but I don’t view his talks as particularly religous in nature. On the whole, I’d rather my kids listen to him than go to a Metallica concert, but it’s not really a substitute for going to church.


13 posted on 04/28/2009 1:22:35 PM PDT by CaptainMorgantown
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To: Alex Murphy

Hey, all I need to know about Joel Osteen and his perfect hair is that he actually stated that he thinks Comrade 0bama is doing a great job, and “loves the Lord”, and NOBODY who claims to be a man of God could possibly make such a statement about a pro-abortion liar and thug that has more blood on their hands than King Herod himself.

Joel Osteen is oppressed by a lying spirit of deception, woe unto anybody who gives his words any more credence than a ‘read your fortune’ slip of paper from a “Guess Your Weight” machine.

He’s a fraud.


14 posted on 04/28/2009 1:24:23 PM PDT by mkjessup (You're either with our Constitution, or you are with TKU ("The Kenyan Usurper"). CHOOSE!!!)
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To: Alex Murphy

He’s quite entertaining to listen to, in sort of a creepy way. Listening to him is just like listening to the TV preachers in the 80’s preaching the “Blab It And Grab It” theology. Joel’s no different.

Hellfire and damnation (personal responsibility and consequences) would never go down well in this guys church.


15 posted on 04/28/2009 1:27:06 PM PDT by Habibi ("We gladly feast on those who would subdue us". Not just pretty words........)
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To: Alex Murphy

He's about like Finney.

16 posted on 04/28/2009 1:29:45 PM PDT by fishtank (The denial of original sin is the root of liberalism.)
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To: ArmyBratproud
In short, read your bible, stop talking in tounges, be a man, and then maybe, just maybe, your wife will stop knocking boots with the pool boy.

Sounds like you're speaking from personal experience.
17 posted on 04/28/2009 1:31:19 PM PDT by mkjessup (You're either with our Constitution, or you are with TKU ("The Kenyan Usurper"). CHOOSE!!!)
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To: Alex Murphy

Envy?


18 posted on 04/28/2009 1:34:30 PM PDT by gedeon3
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To: ArmyBratproud
. . .and then maybe, just maybe, your wife will stop knocking boots with the pool boy.

Uh. . .what?

19 posted on 04/28/2009 1:34:50 PM PDT by MEGoody (Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.)
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To: CaptainMorgantown

I’ve noticed pastors now getting into spiritual financial counseling. Definitely looks like a “for profit” venture and cause for concern.


20 posted on 04/28/2009 1:37:34 PM PDT by baltoga
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To: Alex Murphy

One of these days, we should just print the transcript of one of his sermons, and we can go through it paragraph by paragraph and see what it is he really says. They aren’t long.


21 posted on 04/28/2009 1:40:16 PM PDT by marron
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To: baltoga
Hmmm, I remember another "financial prosperity preacher...now what was his name again???


22 posted on 04/28/2009 1:46:50 PM PDT by Shady Ray
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To: marron
One of these days, we should just print the transcript of one of his sermons, and we can go through it paragraph by paragraph and see what it is he really says. They aren’t long.

Or deep.

Related threads:
Joel Osteen and Why Theology Matters, Again
Faith & The Gospel [Michael Horton Takes On Osteen With Link To 60 Minutes Clip of Horton)
Joel Osteen converts to MORMONISM?
CNN LARRY KING LIVE Interview With Joel Osteen Transcript
JOEL OSTEEN ISSUES APOLOGY
Become a Better You: Reflections on Joel Osteen's Latest Book

23 posted on 04/28/2009 1:52:09 PM PDT by Alex Murphy (Presbyterians often forget that John Knox had been a Sunday bowler.)
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To: Alex Murphy

When’s Osteen spreading heresy? Usually when his lips move.

You should check out Mark Driscoll, pastor of Mars Hill Church, talking about Osteen. It’s brutal.


24 posted on 04/28/2009 1:55:10 PM PDT by Terabitten (Vets wrote a blank check, payable to the Constitution, for an amount up to and including their life.)
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To: Alex Murphy

I’d like to see Todd Friel rip into this fraud on his “Wretched” show. That guy cracks me up!


25 posted on 04/28/2009 2:03:38 PM PDT by al_c (Avoid the consequences of erudite vernacular utilized irrespective of necessity)
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To: fishtank

Osteen is nothing like Finney. Some of Finney’s theology was off, but he was a preacher of righteousness, the opposite of Osteen’s “God wants you to be rich and feel good about yourself ‘gospel’”. Finney’s fiery preaching made his unregenerate listeners uncomfortable and led many to repentance.

From my research on Finney, while he had some real theological problems, about 85% of the complaints against him are distortions and exaggerations by certain people who are offended by those who refuse to bow down and kiss the ring of Pope Calvin. Many of these same folks warmly embrace other Calvinist preachers, who preach error more serious than Finney’s.

The piece of trash you linked (by normally sound , Phil Johnson) is a prime example. He bashes Finney for sins like not taking the advice of one of his Calvinist mentors and supposedly creating a “burnt over region” in Western New York, where the gospel just wouldn’t work anymore.

Imagine that, a mere mortal was able to turn what Calvinists call the “irresistible grace of God” into the “ineffective grace of God”. Apparently, the “unconditional election” of thousands of previously elect Western New Yorkers was rendered null and void, by Finney’s revivals. I can’t think of a less Calvinist idea, but some Calvinists abandon all rationality when attacking the “heretics” who dare question the teachings of Pope Calvin (except for on padeobaptism, which seems to be the one unique area where these Calvinists doubt the infallibility of their Pope.)


26 posted on 04/28/2009 2:04:40 PM PDT by Above My Pay Grade
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To: Laissez-faire capitalist
Have RCers embraced him?

No.

27 posted on 04/28/2009 2:06:55 PM PDT by markomalley (Extra Ecclesiam nulla salus)
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To: The Unknown Republican
Osteen makes me physically ill when I mistakenly happen upon him speaking

Osteen comes on here right after Fox News Sunday.

I now watch the rerun of FNS on Fox News Channel at 6PM.

28 posted on 04/28/2009 2:08:29 PM PDT by markomalley (Extra Ecclesiam nulla salus)
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To: Above My Pay Grade
the opposite of Osteen’s “God wants you to be rich and feel good about yourself ‘gospel’”.

Admittedly I don't know much about Joel Osteen, but how is this incorrect?

29 posted on 04/28/2009 2:08:31 PM PDT by Future Snake Eater ("Get out of the boat and walk on the water with us!”--Sen. Joe Biden)
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To: AxelPaulsenJr
I can't name any wayward priests. I guess you are referring to pedophiles rather than those who disagree with doctrine? Surely you aren't comparing shiny Joe O to a pedophile.

I mean.... he doesn't even belong to your religion or anyone's religion. He kind of has his own religion. I don't understand the dislike. I can only conclude there is just some professional jealousy going on.

If I'm wrong, tell me otherwise.

30 posted on 04/28/2009 2:09:51 PM PDT by mbraynard (You are the Republican Party. See you at the precinct meeting.)
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To: Alex Murphy

Osteen is surely a con man waiting for a scandal, and his theology is an milimeter thick, but “heresy” — bit strong.


31 posted on 04/28/2009 2:10:07 PM PDT by MeanWestTexan (Beware Obama's Reichstag Fire.)
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To: Laissez-faire capitalist

I don’t think RCers acknowledge him. He seems like a nice guy and seems to inspire people to live better lives; he’s kind of in the kiddie pool of motivational speakers.


32 posted on 04/28/2009 2:14:49 PM PDT by mbraynard (You are the Republican Party. See you at the precinct meeting.)
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To: Alex Murphy; Vision

Hey, what are you guys doing? Don’t you know that posts concerning Osteen are “devotional”, “like occurring behind a church door” where all debate is prohibited. Vision and the religion mod tell us that every day when those nauseating threads are posted. You guys got some nerve insulting this blow-dried phony when you know the rules.


33 posted on 04/28/2009 2:17:20 PM PDT by Minn (Here is a realistic picture of the prophet: ----> ([: {()
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To: Terabitten

Dricoll is a heretic too. He is probably worse than Osteen (and that is saying something) in many ways. Osteen is basically a motivational speaker who throws a few bible verses in here and there, pretending to be a pastor.

Driscoll is a foul mouthed, sex obsessed, emergent church heretic and a disgrace to the name of Jesus Christ.


34 posted on 04/28/2009 2:19:04 PM PDT by Above My Pay Grade
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To: Above My Pay Grade
Dricoll is a heretic too.

Mind sharing which of Driscoll's views are heretical?

35 posted on 04/28/2009 2:23:45 PM PDT by Terabitten (Vets wrote a blank check, payable to the Constitution, for an amount up to and including their life.)
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To: Above My Pay Grade
Dricoll is a heretic too.

Please share why Driscoll is a heretic.

36 posted on 04/28/2009 2:42:46 PM PDT by Revelation Concepts
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To: Laissez-faire capitalist

A fraud...I agree too...reminds me of the younger Jim and Tammy Baker duo...remember his wife’s big flair up in first class a little while ago...all he talks is money and giving (to him) to “feel the joy”

unforunately my Dad who is elderly thinks he is the salvation to get to heaven...oh my...


37 posted on 04/28/2009 2:46:29 PM PDT by ldish (God save the USA)
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To: markomalley

My wife and I have landed on his show a few times. Occasionally, he might have some useful spiritual points — last week he was teaching about the need to fast from poisonous thoughts — but his services are no more worshipful than say, “Seven Habits of Highly Successful People.” Then again, The Seven Habits of Highly Successful People were never made to substitute Sunday worship.

We’ve chuckled at his bizarre mannerisms, his refusal to mention anything at all about Christ, his pop psychology sensibility, etc. We find him so funny, we’ve probably watched him a little more than we should.


38 posted on 04/28/2009 2:51:05 PM PDT by dangus
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To: Above My Pay Grade

I’ve read quite a few pieces of Reformed criticism of Finney, but have yet to hear critics from the Arminianist camp. Why the criticism is lopsided, I don’t know. Is there some kind of long running feud between Calvinists and Finney?

The concerns over Finney’s theology do trouble me, though.


39 posted on 04/28/2009 2:53:35 PM PDT by Galactic Overlord-In-Chief (Russia invades Georgia? For a moment, I thought that was Red Dawn II)
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To: dangus
The Seven Habits of Highly Successful People were never made to substitute Sunday worship.

Quote of the day!

40 posted on 04/28/2009 5:05:54 PM PDT by markomalley (Extra Ecclesiam nulla salus)
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To: Minn
“blow-dried phony”

That's funny! These television evangelists end up with too much fame - and it ends up destroying whatever beneficence they ever had. It's happened too often to be a coincidence. We need people to live out Jesus’ Gospel, not more charlatans in this world!

41 posted on 04/28/2009 5:15:11 PM PDT by SeattleBruce (God, Family, Country and the Tea Party! Take America Back!)
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To: Above My Pay Grade

“Driscoll is a foul mouthed, sex obsessed, emergent church heretic”

Mars Hill is not my favorite church and I’ve heard a lot of criticism of Driscoll - but this is pretty intense. My friend was in the Christian House that Driscoll was in at Washington State University and was in his wedding. When you say he’s sex obsessed, are you saying, he encourages men and women in the church to marry and have kids? He and his wife have 4 kids. Or are you saying other specific things about that? Emergent Church - you may have some good points there if you enumerate. As to the foul mouth - I’ve only heard him preach in person about 3 times and have not heard that really. He did make some off handed reference to the Dead Kennedys in a sermon, which I thought was dumb - and I emailed him and told him so. Didn’t hear back - but, he’s got a lot of folks to deal with besides people that don’t attend his church.


42 posted on 04/28/2009 5:21:11 PM PDT by SeattleBruce (God, Family, Country and the Tea Party! Take America Back!)
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To: Laissez-faire capitalist

If you are talking about Catholics — absolutely not.

He is full of heresy, and we started to point out those heresies on the thread that someone posts. Then they changed it to a devotional thread so that we couldn’t post. Poor souls who believe his nonsense!


43 posted on 04/28/2009 5:24:17 PM PDT by Salvation ( †With God all things are possible.†)
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To: Galactic Overlord-In-Chief

I just read one poster on FR assert that the Paulicians, a sect from Armenia, were Baptists. (They were congregational iconoclasts, but they had more in common with Gnostics than Baptists.) I wonder what the Armenians think of Finney. Maybe they regard him as a semipaulagian?


44 posted on 04/29/2009 5:15:56 AM PDT by dangus
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To: dangus
We used to live kitty-corner from Lakewood, across US 59. My now-wife-then-girlfriend pestered me to attend, as we did not have a church at the time.

The thing I noticed was the color-changing lights on the ceiling, and that the only use for our bibles (that I was told to bring, as it was a pivotal part of the service) was to wave them in air at the end.

Oh, and there is VIP seating down in front, and we were not allowed to sit there.

45 posted on 04/29/2009 6:45:10 AM PDT by I Buried My Guns (I just hope CW2 comes before my creaky knees give out completely!)
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To: Terabitten; Above My Pay Grade; Revelation Concepts; SeattleBruce
You should check out Mark Driscoll, pastor of Mars Hill Church, talking about Osteen. It’s brutal.

Robert Schuller's scared to death right now....
Mark Driscoll to Preach at Crystal Cathedral, ‘Hour of Power’


46 posted on 05/01/2009 1:42:56 PM PDT by Alex Murphy (Presbyterians often forget that John Knox had been a Sunday bowler.)
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To: CaptainMorgantown

***He’s kind of a modern-day update of Norman Vincent Peale “Power of Positive Thinking”. He generally gives good advice on how to live your life with a positive attitude, but I don’t view his talks as particularly religous in nature. ***

Robert Schuller (an ordained Calvinist, by the way), took over Peale’s feelgood schtick. It appears that since Schuller Jr. is unworthy, then Osteen appears to have earned that post.


47 posted on 05/01/2009 5:08:25 PM PDT by MarkBsnr ( I would not believe in the Gospel if the authority of the Catholic Church did not move me to do so.)
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To: baltoga

They’re all “for profit”. Osteen got a 14 million dollar advance on his last book.

At Oral Roberts’ funeral sitting in the audience were many T.V. “preacher”. They were probably all thinking “one lest competitor to deal with.”


48 posted on 01/07/2010 3:16:32 PM PST by Terry Mross (We need a "Second Sons of Liberty".)
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