Skip to comments.Good News / Bad News for Ministers
Posted on 05/06/2009 6:50:40 PM PDT by dangus
Good News: You baptized seven people today in the river. Bad News: You lost two of them in the swift current.
Good News: The Women's Guild voted to send you a get-well card. Bad News: The vote passed by 19-17.
Good News: The Elder Board accepted your job description the way you wrote it. Bad News: They were so inspired by it, they also formed a search committee to find somebody capable of filling the position.
Good News: You finally found a choir director who approaches things exactly the same way you do. Bad News: The choir mutinied.
Good News: Mrs. Jones is wild about your sermons. Bad News: Mrs. Jones is also wild about the "Gong Show," "Beavis and Butthead" and "Texas Chain Saw Massacre."
Good News: Your women's softball team finally won a game. Bad News: They beat your men's softball team.
Good News: The trustees finally voted to add more church parking. Bad News: They are going to blacktop the front lawn of your parsonage.
Good News: Church attendance rose dramatically the last three weeks. Bad News: You were on vacation.
Good News: Your deacons want to send you to the Holy Land. Bad News: They are stalling until the next war.
Add to the list, if you can!
OK, sola scriptura folks... What WOULD Jesus drive? The answer is a Honda. Prove it.
Good news: You gave bibles to 300 children in your inner city parish. Bad news: Oddly enough, you see the same children with bloodshot eyes and empty bible bindings the next day.
“And when the day of Pentecost was fully come, they were all with one Accord in one place” — Acts 2:1
Turns out they liked drive-ins:
“Paul’s companions rushed with one Accord into the theatre. “ — Acts 19:29
I’m not sure I get that, and I’m not sure I want to.
Correct response (I think).
Actually, it’s something I saw when I was a Jehovah’s Witness. I gave a bible to a kid and he used the bible paper sheets as rolling papers.