Zotted, searching for Illuminati

[Illuminati searcher]

I am searching for members of the Illuminati. I am interested in joining or being invited. I'm willing to do what it takes. Please e-mail me at [snip]. Thank you in advance.

[neodad]

I don’t know any illuminati, but I just won the European lottery and I’m trying to get some of the money here. Send me your bank account number and I’ll give you 20%.

[ExpatGator]

Don’t get out much?!?!?!?!?

[fnord]

good luck with that ...

[Red Steel]

Tell me the frequency Kenneth then I may let you in.

[Religion Moderator]

[IrishCatholic]

Well, I can point you to the research material needed to join.
Most are found at the local public library or through the inter-library loan system found in most states.
Start with the “Harvard Classics” and move on to Durant's history of civilization.
You will have to read them several times to be ready for the Illuminati oral boards.

[period end of story]

Check Uranus.

[OL Hickory]

Rham-

Slow night in Obama land?
Break out the too-too and take a couple spins would ya?

[HowlinglyMind-BendingAbsurdity]

You might want to consult some reading for cautionary details first.

[Greysard]

I'm willing to do what it takes

Get the Deus Ex game and complete it with all three endings. Decide for yourself if the ending where you join the Illuminati is the one you'd really like. If that's the case, resume your quest.

[kaehurowing]

I nearly got in at Hendon. . . .

[HowlinglyMind-BendingAbsurdity]

Just be careful of that Frankenfurter dude.

[razorback-bert]

Oh, rats, you are banned and I was going let you in, for only $5000 down and a $1000 a month too.

[redhead]

No Illuminati here, but they did leave a message for you. They want to know if you are still touching yoursef.

[PugetSoundSoldier]

If you have to ask to join, then we... err, they don't want you.

[GL of Sector 2814]

Fnord.

[OneWingedShark]

13.4

[Fichori]

Whats an Illuminati?

Whatever the case, only on FR will the mods fix the formating your post before/after zotting you!

[LimaLimaMikeFoxtrot]

Man, the best bunch of replies I’ve seen all day..

[ME-262]

I’m with the Illuminati. how may I help you?

[Liberty Valance]

[Force12]

West of the Rockies, Illuminati wild-card line, you are on the air. Good evening.

[smokingfrog]

Dim bulbs are not allowed to join the Illuminati.

[Snurple]

[BuckeyeTexan]

I can tell you where they are and how you can join, but then I’d have to kill you. Deal?

[Mr. Mojo]

Seems like everyone’s looking to immanentize the eschaton these days.

Fnord.

[OneHun]

I heard that first you have to see Rosie O'Donnell.  She will tell you the secret.  You might find her at DU, or DailyKos, or Huffington. 

 

[LifeComesFirst]

We aren’t taking any new members right now.

[ponyespresso]

These are not the Illuminati you are looking for

[rdl6989]

[Danae]

Bahahahahaha

LMAO
IAFZ

[Islam=Murder]

In the library, I found this old dusty book. It was really thick, but buried deep in the book, it says that to join the Illuminati, you must run naked thru traffic in Times Square at precisely 12:00 noon, screaming “I HAD HOT SEX WITH PRESIDENT OBAMA AND LARRY SINCLAIR !!!”

You must scream that over and over, at the top of your lungs, until you are taken to the police station, where you will meet the Illuminati.

[bdeaner]

That midget sliding on his face has to be one of the funniest damn things I’ve ever seen.

[norton]

Dont ask me, I only clicked on this to look at pictures of kittehs.

[Force12]

[bdeaner]

see more Fail Blog

[Dallas59]

The movie sucked.

[Chode]

Tired of hitting Troll holes BIGGER than J-Lo's ASS???
Then call the RKBA Fast... Pavers UP!!!

Looks like meat's back on the menu boys!!!

[freeplancer]

Illuminati is all booked up, but Hell’s Angels and the Mickey Mouse Club are not accepting new members.

[forest153]

To: Administrative Moderator

I am very new to Free Republic and submit my reply to you for approval. If my reply to Searching for Illuminati is not appropriate please eliminate.

Religion Moderator I’m a putz but I have some old floppy heart strings and will answer ambiguously, Illuminati Searcher can decide.

Is there illuminati? Yes and no. A good start is in Wiki and Google will give you enough to stay busy for a long time. There is a young man on Fox Business News named Cody Willard who is convinced the Illuminati are running the show (not Fox, the world). Most likely Mr. Willard is referring to the Bilderberg Group (Wiki again) and this study will keep you busy for a while and if you read the material and not just a sentence or two you will get a lot of history and a little suspicious. I went down this road to add to understanding of many other things and came away realizing ‘these’ are anything but illuminated and a stronger appreciation that our Heavenly Father is in charge. Remember it is the journey and you won’t be too disappointed.

[restornu]

I don’t know any illuminati, but I just won the European lottery and I’m trying to get some of the money here. Send me your bank account number and I’ll give you 20%.

***

Well than do you know any Fabians besides Obama?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fabian_Society

[paulycy]

[usmcobra]

I sorry but if you have to ask you aren’t allowed to join.

Member of the Illumini since 1641 BC

[McGruff]

Try holding a golf club up in a thunderstorm.

The Illuminati will contact you.

[TheOldLady]

Very macho. Can’t spell tutu. I approve.

[freedomlover]

LOL.

[ExpatGator]

That was why I stopped pursuing a career as a midget wrestler.

[Godzilla]

"The Farce is strong in this one..."

[HowlinglyMind-BendingAbsurdity]

"Seems like everyone’s looking to immanentize the eschaton these days.
Fnord."
27 posted on 05/31/2009 10:51:40 PM PDT by Mr. Mojo

With the ascent of the all-powerful messianic One to Elvis status, that becomes clearer. Fr. Muldoon's Guide to Ancient Gnosticism, Illuminati, and the Immanentization of the Eschaton comes in handy more and more. Someone should keep a running list of how Soros and the Obammunists are applying the Law of Fives and exploiting neurotic liberals' tendency to love immanentizing the Eschaton - like teenage groupies crazed on Elvis, the Beatles, Disco, or a Hula Hoop craze.

“And everything really follows the Fives’ law?” Joe asked.

“More than you guess,” Dillinger remarked blandly.
FNORD
“Even when you’re dealing with social fields, ” Simon added. “We’ve run studies of cultures where the Illuminati were not in control, and they still follow Weishaupt’s five-stage pattern: Verwirrung, Zweitracht, Unordnung, Beamtenherrschaft and Grummet.”*

“Hell,” Simon said, “look what Beethoven did when Weishaupt illuminated him. Went right home and wrote the Fifth Symphony. You know how it begins: da-da-da-DUM. Morse code for V – the Roman numeral for five...”

1.Chaos
2.Discord
3.Confusion
4.Bureaucracy
5.Aftermath