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ALIEN BIBLE FOUND
Weekly World News ^ | August 19th, 2009 | Erik Van Datiken

Posted on 08/21/2009 2:50:13 PM PDT by Alex Murphy

HOUSTON, TX – America’s top secret UFO investigative agency has discovered powerful proof that extraterrestrials believe in God… an alien bible found in a wrecked spaceship!

The 132-page, book-like document, printed in symbols representing a mathematical code, is made of an unknown metallic fiber that is impervious to fire or weather and cannot be cut or torn. Its contents are strikingly similar to many elements of the Christian Bible.

“The book was found in the wreckage of a UFO discovered at the bottom of the Grand Canyon in the spring of 1994,” said Dr. Henry Leaumont, a California-based astronomer who says he learned of the bible from a former employee of a secret government UFO study center.

“It was taken to the UFO agency and analyzed. They finally broke the code just three months ago, using sophisticated mathematical concepts.

“The book is a religious tome devoted to a God figure called Letuk who is seen as the guiding force in the universe.

“It preaches a rigorous moral code forbidding murder, theft, adultery and other transgressions, adding a few more than are in the Bible.

“For example, for these aliens, apparently, there was no worse sin than gluttony. They ate little and only when they were extremely hungry. Perhaps that explains their small size.”

Dr. Leaumont says the alien bible contains a list of 14 commandments – many of which are exactly like those found in the bible and the Koran. The alien book mentions a heaven and a hell and reveals the words of prophets whose teachings closely resemble those of Jesus.

“This bible is astonishing because it reveals a pattern in the universe, a God-like presence that has message for every living being,” Dr. Leaumont said. “It is my hope that the American government will see its way clear to sharing the contents of this precious find with people everywhere. It is priceless proof that aliens are like us – and that they, too, have been guided by a loving God.”

The astronomer said he has tried to communicate directly with the UFO study center about the extraterrestrial bible, but has been told no such document exists.


TOPICS: Humor; Religion & Science
KEYWORDS: bible; hoax; klingon; startrek; weeklyworldnews
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“The book is a religious tome devoted to a God figure called Letuk who is seen as the guiding force in the universe. It preaches a rigorous moral code forbidding murder, theft, adultery and other transgressions, adding a few more than are in the Bible. For example, for these aliens, apparently, there was no worse sin than gluttony. They ate little and only when they were extremely hungry. Perhaps that explains their small size.”
1 posted on 08/21/2009 2:50:14 PM PDT by Alex Murphy
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To: Alex Murphy

“The Gospel According to Mork”?


2 posted on 08/21/2009 2:51:13 PM PDT by TBP (Obama lies, Granny dies.)
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To: Alex Murphy

So other civilizations have the “Book of Mormon,” too?


3 posted on 08/21/2009 2:53:20 PM PDT by ConservativeMind (Liberals have no integrity, character, or shame.)
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To: TBP

14 commandments? So, Mel Brooks must have had it right. Moses DID drop one of the plates.

Seriously, I’ve always said that if I ever met an E.T. I’d ask if it believes in God.


4 posted on 08/21/2009 2:54:38 PM PDT by Terry Mross ( I hate all politicians. Including republicans.)
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To: Alex Murphy


"To serve man"
5 posted on 08/21/2009 2:54:49 PM PDT by eCSMaster
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To: Alex Murphy

I think someone HAS been translating the Bible back into its original Klingon though


6 posted on 08/21/2009 2:55:03 PM PDT by GeronL (Pro-Freedom Fiction Writers Unite! - http://libertyfic.proboards.com)
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To: eCSMaster

Is that Lurch? Gotta be.


7 posted on 08/21/2009 2:57:11 PM PDT by Beloved Levinite (I have a new name for the occupier of The Oval Office: KING FRAUD! (pronounced King "Faa-raud"))
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To: Alex Murphy
“It preaches a rigorous moral code forbidding murder, theft, adultery and other transgressions, adding a few more than are in the Bible.

If the extraterrestrials consider homosexuality to be immoral, I suggest we load our homosexual activists into rocket ships and send them on a one-way trip into outer space on a mission to confront the aliens over their homophobia.

8 posted on 08/21/2009 2:57:11 PM PDT by SirJohnBarleycorn
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To: Alex Murphy

Flash, Gordon. Michael Jackson is still dead!


9 posted on 08/21/2009 2:57:15 PM PDT by charmedone (There is a right to health care but no right to be born?)
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To: Alex Murphy
“The book was found in the wreckage of a UFO discovered at the bottom of the Grand Canyon in the spring of 1994"

Unintentional acceleration? Thought it was in reverse, but it wasn't? Alien Thelma & Louise wannabees?

10 posted on 08/21/2009 2:57:31 PM PDT by RegulatorCountry
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To: GeronL
What type of skin do Klingons use to bind their bibles?
11 posted on 08/21/2009 2:57:33 PM PDT by mad_as_he$$ (Nemo me impune lacessit The law will be followed, dammit!)
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To: Alex Murphy

“They ate little and only when they were extremely hungry. Perhaps that explains their small size.”

Hmmmmmmm...wonder how Bawney “the Gerbil” Fwank explains his “small size”...


12 posted on 08/21/2009 2:58:29 PM PDT by jessduntno (Privatization + Inter-State Sales + Individual Policies + Tort Reform = Healthcare Reform)
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To: SirJohnBarleycorn

If there is a commandment in there against posting pics of Helen Thomas, I’ll convert.


13 posted on 08/21/2009 2:59:13 PM PDT by Ronin (Nemo me impune lacesset)
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To: GeronL

My ex-boyfriend from many moons back always said God was an alien. Maybe he was right, LOL!


14 posted on 08/21/2009 2:59:21 PM PDT by ravingnutter
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To: Alex Murphy

The Gideons sure get around.


15 posted on 08/21/2009 2:59:49 PM PDT by InvisibleChurch (nothing is normal anymore)
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To: Alex Murphy

If true, it would only confirm the universality of natural law. Which is no surprise to those who believe that the natural laws of man come from God.


16 posted on 08/21/2009 2:59:56 PM PDT by Procyon (To the global warming fanatics the problem is too many people and the solution is genocide.)
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To: Alex Murphy

More proof that Satan is using demons to decieve the world, I dare say that there would be RADICALLY fundamental differences in this “Bible” and in The Real Bible!


17 posted on 08/21/2009 3:00:14 PM PDT by JSDude1 (www.wethepeopleindiana.org (Tea Party Member-Proud), www.travishankins.com (R- IN 09 2010!))
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To: Alex Murphy

18 posted on 08/21/2009 3:00:46 PM PDT by P.O.E. (Fish rot from the head down.)
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To: mad_as_he$$

Tanned Targ I believe. In a pinch the skin of slain enemies.


19 posted on 08/21/2009 3:01:04 PM PDT by GeronL (Pro-Freedom Fiction Writers Unite! - http://libertyfic.proboards.com)
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To: Alex Murphy

Little Red Cookbook!!! ;)


20 posted on 08/21/2009 3:01:37 PM PDT by BossLady ("Obama: Who needs Astroturf When You Have Plants!")
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To: InvisibleChurch

to help with poor Rocky’s revival.


21 posted on 08/21/2009 3:01:42 PM PDT by Vaquero ("an armed society is a polite society" Robert A. Heinlein)
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To: ConservativeMind
You jest, but I don't doubt that's what is at the bottom of this, if the whole story somehow turns out not to be a total, outright fabrication, and is a partial, subterfuged fabrication instead.
22 posted on 08/21/2009 3:01:43 PM PDT by RegulatorCountry
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To: Alex Murphy

The reason they crashed their spaceship was because they were “Letukian Scientists” and their ship had a bad anti-matter flow regulator and they thought they could fix it by praying to Letuk.

We know how well that worked out for them.


23 posted on 08/21/2009 3:02:09 PM PDT by GraceG
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To: P.O.E.

dont forget the E’Plebneesta.


24 posted on 08/21/2009 3:02:30 PM PDT by Vaquero ("an armed society is a polite society" Robert A. Heinlein)
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To: JSDude1

These are the Bibles carried by the Black Eyed Kids. (seriously, do not ask)


25 posted on 08/21/2009 3:02:59 PM PDT by GeronL (Pro-Freedom Fiction Writers Unite! - http://libertyfic.proboards.com)
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To: TBP
“The Gospel According to Mork”?

na-no na-no under the sun.

26 posted on 08/21/2009 3:03:43 PM PDT by the invisib1e hand (this slope is getting slippereeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...)
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To: Alex Murphy

> “The book is a religious tome devoted to a God figure called Letuk who is seen as the guiding force in the universe

You mean Lord Xenu is not the One? Blasphemy!!


27 posted on 08/21/2009 3:04:23 PM PDT by max americana (i)
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To: Alex Murphy

On a philosophical note - I have often wondered if Jesus came also to alien civilizations.

And, was there a different Mary for each?


28 posted on 08/21/2009 3:05:09 PM PDT by eCSMaster
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To: GeronL; Zakeet; colorcountry; Colofornian; P-Marlowe
These are the Bibles carried by the Black Eyed Kids. (seriously, do not ask)

"Black-eyed kids. The term has floated across cyberspace since Jan. 16, 1998 when journalist Brian Bethel first posted his chilling encounter with overly-lucid children whose eyes were coal black; not a hint of iris, nor white.

Bill asked Michael if these young people were Mormons.

“Hell, no,” Michael said. “They didn't dress right and they were junkies."

"Junkies?" Bill asked.

"Yeah,” Michael said. “Their pupils were huge."

From the Shadows

29 posted on 08/21/2009 3:08:58 PM PDT by greyfoxx39 (BARF of the YEAR: Obama "We are God's partners in matters of life and death,")
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To: Alex Murphy

Heck with the book, where’s the effin’ wreckage and/or its occupants? Current first family in a clunker?


30 posted on 08/21/2009 3:09:36 PM PDT by SERKIT ("Blazing Saddles" explains it all.....)
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To: greyfoxx39

I have got to write them into a story


31 posted on 08/21/2009 3:10:07 PM PDT by GeronL (Pro-Freedom Fiction Writers Unite! - http://libertyfic.proboards.com)
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To: eCSMaster

I’ve wondered the same thing.


32 posted on 08/21/2009 3:11:41 PM PDT by Riley (The Fourth Estate is the Fifth Column.)
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To: Alex Murphy

The last I heard, the aliens were spotted handing out religious tracts on a California beach. Nobody payed any attention to just a few more illegal aliens there or thought they seemed any odder then the usual crowd.


33 posted on 08/21/2009 3:12:52 PM PDT by dog breath
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To: eCSMaster
On a philosophical note - I have often wondered if Jesus came also to alien civilizations.


I vaguely remember a Ray Bradbury story along that line...not sure but I'm sure someone will correct me.
34 posted on 08/21/2009 3:13:08 PM PDT by Since 2009-07-21
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To: Alex Murphy
"Best investigative reporting on the planet. But go ahead, read the New York Times if you want. They get lucky sometimes. " --K.
35 posted on 08/21/2009 3:15:28 PM PDT by Lee N. Field ("How can there be peace when the sorceries and whordoms of your mother TBN are so many?")
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To: TBP
"“The Gospel According to Mork”?"

Yes, and they pray while standing on their heads in an armchair. They begin and end their prayer by uttering a strange word. It sounds something like "Nanu-Nanu."

36 posted on 08/21/2009 3:18:14 PM PDT by davisfh ( Islam is a very serious mental illness)
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To: Quix

Ping


37 posted on 08/21/2009 3:18:18 PM PDT by stockpirate (Will%2Brationed%2Bhealthcare%2Bmean%2Bno%2Btreatment%2Bfor%2Bthose%2Bwith%2BAIDS%253F)
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To: Alex Murphy

I’m sure its just some Star Trek nerds bible written in Klingon.


38 posted on 08/21/2009 3:18:21 PM PDT by right way right (Do not mistake Religion for God.)
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To: Alex Murphy

Maybe the new ELCA should adopt it as their own since they don’t read it anyway.


39 posted on 08/21/2009 3:19:52 PM PDT by right way right (Do not mistake Religion for God.)
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To: Alex Murphy
“The book was found in the wreckage of a UFO discovered at the bottom of the Grand Canyon in the spring of 1994,”

OK..so where is the wreckage of the UFO?????

sw

40 posted on 08/21/2009 3:20:21 PM PDT by spectre (Spectre's wife)
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To: Since 2009-07-21

You are correct. The astronaut who was continually pursuing Him, was never able to catch up though...quite sad considering that any of us can find him in a moment.

Tatt


41 posted on 08/21/2009 3:26:17 PM PDT by thesearethetimes... ("Courage, is fear that has said its prayers." DorothyBernard)
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To: TBP

nicely done


42 posted on 08/21/2009 3:29:05 PM PDT by BlueNgold (Have we crossed the line from Govt. in righteous fear of the People - to a People in fear of Govt??)
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To: thesearethetimes...
The astronaut who was continually pursuing Him, was never able to catch up though


Wow, I completely forgot about that aspect of the story, thanks.
43 posted on 08/21/2009 3:31:51 PM PDT by Since 2009-07-21
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To: Alex Murphy
So the Weekly World News is available online! They stopped publishing their print edition a couple of years ago.

As objective as the New York Times, but much more fun.

44 posted on 08/21/2009 3:33:31 PM PDT by TChad
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To: Alex Murphy

HOLY CRAP!!!!

This is going to change EVERYTHING!

/s


45 posted on 08/21/2009 3:35:21 PM PDT by mowowie
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To: Alex Murphy; Quix; TaraP

Ummm..., any author whose name is “ Erik Van Datiken” is highly suspect from the git-go... LOL...

Erich von Daniken was bad enough without having this guy... :-)
http://tinyurl.com/yasmyq

Chariots of the Gods?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chariots_of_the_Gods


46 posted on 08/21/2009 3:42:18 PM PDT by Star Traveler (The God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob is a Zionist and Jerusalem is the apple of His eye.)
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To: Quix
Hey Quix, here's something to start Friday night out on a bizarre note.

BTW, I'm typing this from the backside of nowhere - finally got moved . . . well, 97% or so. I can see acres of sky and I watch for UFO’s nearly every night. Nothin’ so far.

47 posted on 08/21/2009 3:43:31 PM PDT by WorkingClassFilth
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To: TChad
So the Weekly World News is available online!

ROTFL! An hour and forty-four posts later, somebody finally noticed the source!

48 posted on 08/21/2009 3:45:12 PM PDT by Alex Murphy (One man, alone! Betrayed by the country he loves, now its last hope in their final hour of need!)
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To: Alex Murphy
“For example, for these aliens, apparently, there was no worse sin than gluttony. They ate little and only when they were extremely hungry. Perhaps that explains their small size.”

Hmm, that sounds like a lot of liberal, self righteous, humourless, vegan, eco-freaks. Coincidence? I don't think so..../s
49 posted on 08/21/2009 3:45:37 PM PDT by khnyny (Barack Obama and Chauncey Gardiner: separated at birth)
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To: Vaquero
Kirk reading preamble Can't imagine the founders doing a better rendition.
50 posted on 08/21/2009 3:46:38 PM PDT by P.O.E. (Fish rot from the head down.)
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