Posted on 08/21/2009 2:50:13 PM PDT by Alex Murphy
HOUSTON, TX – America’s top secret UFO investigative agency has discovered powerful proof that extraterrestrials believe in God… an alien bible found in a wrecked spaceship!
The 132-page, book-like document, printed in symbols representing a mathematical code, is made of an unknown metallic fiber that is impervious to fire or weather and cannot be cut or torn. Its contents are strikingly similar to many elements of the Christian Bible.
“The book was found in the wreckage of a UFO discovered at the bottom of the Grand Canyon in the spring of 1994,” said Dr. Henry Leaumont, a California-based astronomer who says he learned of the bible from a former employee of a secret government UFO study center.
“It was taken to the UFO agency and analyzed. They finally broke the code just three months ago, using sophisticated mathematical concepts.
“The book is a religious tome devoted to a God figure called Letuk who is seen as the guiding force in the universe.
“It preaches a rigorous moral code forbidding murder, theft, adultery and other transgressions, adding a few more than are in the Bible.
“For example, for these aliens, apparently, there was no worse sin than gluttony. They ate little and only when they were extremely hungry. Perhaps that explains their small size.”
Dr. Leaumont says the alien bible contains a list of 14 commandments – many of which are exactly like those found in the bible and the Koran. The alien book mentions a heaven and a hell and reveals the words of prophets whose teachings closely resemble those of Jesus.
“This bible is astonishing because it reveals a pattern in the universe, a God-like presence that has message for every living being,” Dr. Leaumont said. “It is my hope that the American government will see its way clear to sharing the contents of this precious find with people everywhere. It is priceless proof that aliens are like us – and that they, too, have been guided by a loving God.”
The astronomer said he has tried to communicate directly with the UFO study center about the extraterrestrial bible, but has been told no such document exists.
“The Gospel According to Mork”?
So other civilizations have the “Book of Mormon,” too?
14 commandments? So, Mel Brooks must have had it right. Moses DID drop one of the plates.
Seriously, I’ve always said that if I ever met an E.T. I’d ask if it believes in God.
I think someone HAS been translating the Bible back into its original Klingon though
Is that Lurch? Gotta be.
If the extraterrestrials consider homosexuality to be immoral, I suggest we load our homosexual activists into rocket ships and send them on a one-way trip into outer space on a mission to confront the aliens over their homophobia.
Flash, Gordon. Michael Jackson is still dead!
Unintentional acceleration? Thought it was in reverse, but it wasn't? Alien Thelma & Louise wannabees?
“They ate little and only when they were extremely hungry. Perhaps that explains their small size.”
Hmmmmmmm...wonder how Bawney “the Gerbil” Fwank explains his “small size”...
If there is a commandment in there against posting pics of Helen Thomas, I’ll convert.
My ex-boyfriend from many moons back always said God was an alien. Maybe he was right, LOL!
The Gideons sure get around.
If true, it would only confirm the universality of natural law. Which is no surprise to those who believe that the natural laws of man come from God.
More proof that Satan is using demons to decieve the world, I dare say that there would be RADICALLY fundamental differences in this “Bible” and in The Real Bible!
Tanned Targ I believe. In a pinch the skin of slain enemies.
Little Red Cookbook!!! ;)
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