Prayer Request

1/12/10 | mouse1

[mouse1]

Please pray for my husband and daughter. I dont know what to do anymore. In April of 2009 he had what I call "a breakdown". His physician believed he may have had a stroke due to the drastic personality changes, but he refused to go for a brain scan. He became paranoid that he is being watched, his mail is being opened.....the list goes on and on. He no longer felt safe where we live, so we packed up and moved to northern Wisconsin. He was on medication until recently. It helped but it still didnt seem like my husband. On Saturday he announced he could not stay here. It is "unsafe" and he is in "danger". He left and I have not heard from him since. He called our daughter to say he is staying with his sister. Unfortunately, she wants nothing to do with him. Our girl is only 14 and I know this is taking its toll on her. She is a good girl, honor roll, student council. We have been thru alot in the past five years, both physically and financially. But since he left there is a calm in the house. I dont know what to do. I love my husband and take our marriage vows seriously, but I cant live like this and I dont want our daughter to be hurt or confused. Please pray for us. Thanks and God Bless!

[Patriot4ever]

I’m so sorry for your troubles. I will pray for you and your family. I can’t imagine having to go through something like that.

[Patriot4ever]

I’m so sorry for your troubles. I will pray for you and your family. I can’t imagine having to go through something like that.

[Hoosier-Daddy]

Prayers for you, your daughter and your husband. He probably did have a stroke, or has a tumor. You might want to find out if you can have him committed, so he can be evaluated.

[ClearCase_guy]

Prayers up. I’m so sorry that you all have to go through this. It must be terribly hard.

[mouse1]

Wisconsin has terrible mental health laws. Cant force anyone. I did have him committed in April and they let him go the next day. Unless someone is a threat to themselves or others, they cant keep them. Thanks for your prayers and thoughts.

[mouse1]

Thanks for your prayers and kind thoughts. I know I will make it thru this. My biggest concern is my daughter. She doesnt want anything to do with her father. She understands he is sick and not normal. To her, with his odd behavior and all, he is a stranger.

[Marie2]

I have a pastor friend whose wife has apparently lost her mind. It has been very hard for him. You have my deepest sympathies. I hope it helps a little to know you are not alone in your situation.

[chris_bdba]

Is there any chance that you can move back to where you came from and back to family? Right now it doesn’t sound like a stroke to me but mental problems. Your daughter needs you most right now. You need to find out if there is more to why she doesn’t want anything to do with him other than what you can see. He may have had converstions with her that scared her or who knows what.

[heartwood]

I am so sorry. I’ve been through the hell of living with someone paranoid, my father.

Your daughter and you have each other. My advice: be very open in discussing your husband’s illness with her. Secrecy, not being able to talk, not being able to say how afraid I was, made things nearly unendurable for me. Counselling at your church might help.

And you do have my prayers, for strength and comfort, and for your husband that he be safe and find the help he needs.

What I say now is frightening, so please forgive me, but I don’t belive in being too afraid to say anything. Please consider if your husband could be a threat to you and your daughter, either because he sees you as a threat, or because he might think he was saving you by killing you. My father seriously considered killing his three children to keep us safe.

May God uphold and protect the three of you. May He give your daughter understanding. May He heal your husband. In the name of Christ, amen.

[mouse1]

I dont feel like we are in danger. I did speak with our local sheriff who suggested we change the locks. We did. I also have a new puppy who barks like crazy anytime someone is near the house. The sad part is I never imagined my marriage ending, especially like this.

[Hoffer Rand]

You have my sympathy. I have been almost exactly where you are, teenaged daughter and all. It helped me to understand the difference between fault/blame and responsibility. While my ex’s condition was not his fault and I didn’t blame him for it, it was his responsibility to seek help and begin the process of getting better. He refused to do so. Until he was willing to take responsibility, I knew it was my primary responsibility to take care of my daughters, see to their stability (physical, financial, and emotional), and to take care of myself. They’d already lost one parent. They didn’t need another one falling apart.

As much as you value your vows and your relationship with your husband, your daughter must come first. Please don’t push her into more contact with her dad than she’s ready for. She’ll see it as you siding with him over her and a betrayal. Your husband has to take responsibility for himself and his recovery. No matter how much you want it for him, if he doesn’t take responsibility for getting help himself, it’ll never happen. Once (or if) he does that, the two of you together can work on repairing the family dynamic. Good luck to you. If you just want to vent to somebody who’s been there, Freepmail me.

[WVNan]

Offering prayers for strength and wisdom, as well as peace of mind and safety in this situation. Hear our prayers, Lord.

[Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo]

My father seriously considered killing his three children to keep us safe.

GET. A. GUN.

Preferably two guns - one for the car, one for the bedroom.

Your first duty is to protect your daughter; your second duty is to protect yourself.

Only after you have fulfilled your first two duties can you then worry about "saving" your husband.

But NEVER underestimate a man's penchant for violence when he is in this state of mind.

PS: A "puppy" will do absolutely diddly-squat in the way of protecting you from a raging lunatic.

And neither will a grown dog, if the raging lunatic is armed.

[franky8]

The Lord be with your husband, daughter and you.

[ozarkgirl]

You might add - “learn how to use it!”. In a frightening situation - you have to be well acquainted. Just shooting clay pigeons - I get excited and forget to turn the safety off. That’s why I like my revolver for personal protection - no safety button to worry about.

I’m sorry you’re going through this mouse1. If I were you, I would consider what someone else suggested, moving back to where you were from - especially if you have family there. You need your family and so does your daughter.

Praying for you and for her.

[rightly_dividing]

Prayers up.

[Between the Lines]

My prayers for your family.

I would suggest that you move back. Quite often when a man up and moves his family for no apparent reason the real reason is that he wants to remove them from their support system of family and friends and to reduce the influence those family and friends have on his family. Moving also serves to remove his family from their known resources like law enforcement, doctors, schools, etc. so that they will have to establish new resources.

Men do this to have more power over their families. With their resources and support systems severed the family has to rely on him much more than they would otherwise and it increases his influence over his family.

Please move back to where you have friends and family. You need them now more than ever. Your husband will still know where to find you. God bless.

[fatima]

He should not be allowed back in unless he has the brain scan.We just went through this with someone close.Prayers for All,God bless,Fatima (((((Hugs)))))

[Mrs. Don-o]

I realize that in order to get an involuntary psychiatric commitment, you need proof that your husband is a danger to himself or others. This may be worth pursuing: have a frank talk with his sister and with anyone else who might have had recent contact with him (someone from work, a friend). See if he has said anything,--- anything, no matter vague it may have been--- that would indicate that he has considered killig himself, or that he thinks others are threatening his life.

Any statement of his along these lines may be enough for the law to take action.

Or if he is neglecting his own well-being in terms of not eating, not sleeping, not taking medications, not dressing warmly in bitter cold weather, and so forth. This may constitute a danger to himself, sufficient to justify involuntary psychiatric evaluation.

I strongly urge you to seek advice from a psychiatric social worker. If you don't know wher to find one, try your nearest hospital.

I am praying for you, mouse1. You must make a plan and you must be proactive about it.

I promise prayers daily for him, for you and for your daughter.

[mlizzy]

Do you have clergy to speak to? I would take that step first. Sometimes they can come up with something you do not know about.

My father had a stroke and became extremely paranoid. Eventually it was found out that he had pressure on the brain and he needed a shunt put in. Afterwards, his memory returned slowly, and came back almost completely in time. My brother, on the other hand, had a strange occurrence, "seeing" visions. He may of had a stroke because his blood pressure at the time was skyrocket, and his behavior was odd at best.

Your husband needs that brain scan. Tell him you will make sure he gets the proper drugs so that it is not anxiety-provoking and clear that with the nursing staff. They DO have drugs they can give someone who is terrified of that procedure.

I'll be praying for you along with the rest of the FReepers. And you remember to pray too and seek some help for your husband and safety for yourself/daughter (if you are concerned about that) soon.