Wish I understood as much as I
THINK I
OUGHT to
because of all the suffering I’ve put myself and others through . . . and others have put me through.
He has brought me to the place that He has enabled me to see that some of the severest suffering has been HIS MERCY.
Don’t know how to explain that.
I’m also reminded of a Heavenly visitation . . . with the person being shown through various Heavenly mansions—some of those of folks he’d known on earth, IIRC . . . some not of familiar folks.
Some were fairly modestly furnished. Some were lavishly furnished.
IIRC he remarked on the difference to his angelic guide . . . noting for example the exquisite paintings on the walls of the mansion they were in at the moment. The angel noted that THAT particular painting had cost a LOT of suffering.
And that the general differences were attributable to those who had
LAID UP TREASURES IN HEAVEN vs those who had not done much of that, at all.
I strongly empathize with this observation, dear brother in Christ. You describe an odd, mysterious thing. But we can also think of this situation as follows: Human beings do not learn from their successes, only from their failures. And God wants us to learn. Of Him, and the splendor of His eternal Being, inviting us to fully participate in it.