What Do Italian Priests' Mistresses Want You To Know?

National Catholic Register ^ | 5/29/2010 | Jimmy Akin

[boatbums]

My thoughts on this are the same. These women are NOT victims (in most cases) because they should not be in sexual relationships with men who are not their husbands. That being said, the "priests" should not have led them along in what was probably an emotional and well as physical relationship - knowing us ladies (The Thornbirds is one of my all time favorite tear jerker miniseries).

What is the Church going to do with the "guilty" priests? Do you think they should be able to just continue in the priesthood after forsaking their lovers as if nothing happened?

[cmj328]

It is felt that the mere discernment of female voices would cause great temptations to the monastics.

I thought they were more worried about the strife that could result among the men, than that any of them would fall prey to sinful lust, even of the heart?

[kosta50]

I thought they were more worried about the strife that could result among the men

Why would monastics engage in a strife? To them, hearinbg a female voice would simply take their attention in the direction they are trying to forget.

[cmj328]

I don't want to hypothesize, because they are far wiser and far more detached and from the material world and more Christlike than I am, so I assume that even if they do the same things I do they may do them for far different (and more charitable) reasons.

So I need an authoritative source to tell me why they behave the way they do.

Unfortunately, Mount Athos doesn't have a website, so I am left to consult that great bastion of spirituality, Wikipedia:

Monks feel that the presence of women alters the social dynamics of the community and therefore slows their path towards spiritual enlightenment, though they deny that the prohibition is in order to reduce sexual temptation.

[markomalley]

What is the Church going to do with the "guilty" priests? Do you think they should be able to just continue in the priesthood after forsaking their lovers as if nothing happened?

Well, my thought on any Catholic priest who is guilty of sexual sin is that he should be forgiven, if he is truly contrite (just like the rest of us), but that he should not be allowed to return to a ministry where he would be tempted. My personal thought is that the Church should stand up a monastic center for priests who have gotten themselves in trouble like that and that they should have to retire there for several years worth of prayer and mortification. In that way they could still offer the sacrifice of the Mass on a regular basis, which, in of itself, does a huge amount of good, not only for themselves but for the world...but they would be protected from having to deal with that situation while they devote themselves to "putting off the old man" (Eph 4:22-23)

After such a period, there would be a whole lot of jobs they could do fruitfully that would not expose them to the temptations of parish life: for example, hospitals and nursing homes all need chaplains; there is prison ministry; there are any number of jobs that need to be filled where the priest in question could exercise a very valuable ministry but not be put in that type of a compromising position.

[cmj328]

a monastic center for priests who have gotten themselves in trouble like that

I like the idea, but I worry that having time at the St. Mary Magdalene Center for Sacerdotal Penance on your resume might be a bit of a giveaway.

[boatbums]

Agree. I am all for forgiveness! I think your idea of priests who wish to continue in the priesthood, after genuine repentance and counseling, may still be allowed to have a ministry of some sort, just not in the same way as before. They have proven that they do not have the "gift" to remain true to their original vows so an alternate role may be found for those who want to stay and not drop out to get married.

I think for those who have had children by their mistresses should NOT be allowed to stay in the priesthood, but should, to set the right example, get married, be defrocked and expected to support their children and wives in another line of work. Nobody put a gun to their heads and forced them into taking the vows of the Roman Catholic Church priesthood, so regardless of whether I agree with the rules or not, they made the commitment, so they should be expected to honor it or leave. The kids didn't ask to be born so they should be supported and loved - they are the "real" innocents in all this mess.

[kosta50]

Except that you "forgot" to mention that Wikipedia has a "citation needed" next to that statement. In other words it's someone's unsubstantiated opinion — which is the problem with Wikipedia as a source.

[cmj328]

it's someone's unsubstantiated opinion

As is yours. You'll have to make a trip and ask them.

[kosta50]

As is yours.

Mine at least makes sense.

[RnMomof7]

The problem is celibacy means a life without sex.. that includes keeping oneself from sexual desires either in a warm human body or a girly mag in the bathroom or women on a computer..

So if this priest had sexual desire for this woman he broke his vow..

[cmj328]

What does "something real there" mean, precisely? I imagine it means different things to different people. To the impure, for example, it might mean one thing, whereas to the pure it might mean something else. Interpreting everything in charity (as we are duty bound), nothing in the article states that chastity was violated (by this priest at least), except in the woman's heart--she wants him to break his vow. We cannot even assume the priest was complicit in provoking that.

Now obviously if a priest willingly derives any sexual stimulation from hugging a woman or thinking about her or even being in her presence, then he would violate his vow of chastity. Likewise, if you or I were to do this with someone to whom we are not married, it would be a mortal sin. This is why, as I said, hugging is dangerous.

But for a woman to start a web site and petition the Holy See to eliminate the vow of celibacy for priests on the basis of getting one priest to hug her, that's a bit much. Perhaps it's cruel of me to say, but I think the world should laugh at her.

[NYer]

Jimmy does an excellent job in presenting the facts. Interesting article.

[trisham]

Imho, these women have issues regarding authority which likely begin with their relationships with their fathers. Because of this, they have chosen as "adults" to have unhealthy relationships with "forbidden" men.

It actually has nothing really to do with the issue of celibacy, but with their own unhappy immaturity.

[wagglebee]

I think for those who have had children by their mistresses should NOT be allowed to stay in the priesthood, but should, to set the right example, get married, be defrocked and expected to support their children and wives in another line of work. Nobody put a gun to their heads and forced them into taking the vows of the Roman Catholic Church priesthood, so regardless of whether I agree with the rules or not, they made the commitment, so they should be expected to honor it or leave. The kids didn't ask to be born so they should be supported and loved - they are the "real" innocents in all this mess.

Excellent point. And just as nobody forced the men to enter the priesthood, nobody forced the women to become mistresses. These women are no different from mistresses of married men, they convince themselves that "one day" the man is going to give up everything to be with them and it almost never works out. I do agree that the children are the truly innocent victims in this.

[wagglebee]

I can’t see that there is any real difference between these women and women who have affairs with married men, they build up fantasies where the man leaves everything to be with them and then they are looking for someone to blame when that doesn’t happen.

[trisham]

Absolutely agree.