Catholic Horses (humor)

private email | 10-5-10

[dangus]

Lighten up Francis. Is there really anything derogatory in a Protestant not knowing Catholic rites?

[thecodont]

"Born a calf, raised a steer . . . now a fish!"

"It's all right son, I got him with the door."

I'm a bit embarrassed to say this, but I don't get either one of those, could you please explain? Thanks.

[AnAmericanMother]

The jokes are old as the hills, but they've kind of gone out of circulation (I think it was C.S. Lewis who said there's nothing so funny as an old joke when you take it out again after a rest of a couple of hundred years).

I'll give you the short version without all the circumstantial detail.

First joke: A Jewish guy converts to Catholicism. According to the joke (although of course there's nothing like it in the rites of Baptism or Confirmation) the priest baptizes him and intones, "Born a Jew, raised a Jew, now a Catholic!" One Friday, the convert's neighbors see him grilling a nice thick juicy steak on the barbeque and ask him, what gives? He smiles, takes some holy water, sprinkles it on the steak, and intones, "Born a calf, raised a steer, now a fish!"

Second joke: A truck driver gives a priest a lift, they chat, and the trucker confesses that he has a terrible urge to run over lawyers. They see a lawyer walking along the sidewalk, the trucker swerves, then exclaims, "I'm so sorry Father, I just missed that lawyer." Priest replies, "It's all right son, I got him with the door."