Skip to comments.Dealing with Difficult & Unreasonable People
Posted on 12/09/2010 1:12:58 PM PST by Making_Sense [Rob W. Case]
Whether or not you are among many people, in a public setting, or if you deal directly with the public, dealing with people can be a real challenge. Of course, people have many different personalities, quirks, and ways of doing things. And yet all too often, one persons ways will always conflict with another persons ways, and that dynamic alone, depending on the personalities of the people involved, can cause problems. We who are Christians know full well what it feels like to deal with the people around us, in deeper ways than what we openly express. Sometimes we have difficulties with certain people within the body of Christ (in the sense of theological clashes, or areas in which individuals seem to want to hold on to certain dogmas and human-invented superstitions without allowing themselves to consider anything that might at least challenge a full argument), but mostly, I think, our difficulties with certain people out of the body of Christ can cause us to lose focus on how God would want us to handle our difficulties, and in that, leave us to our carnal, fleshly, and fallible instincts to handle the matter. And when that happens, without being properly tempered, anything can happen.
When times are difficult, people lose what they once had.
(Excerpt) Read more at makingsense.proboards.com ...
It wouldn’t be so hard if Comrade Thorazine would stay on his meds. /inside humor
None of those suggestions work for me.
No, really — LOT’S of people have tried them on numerous occasions and I am still as difficult and unreasoinable as I have always been.
Aside from family, when I encounter such people I walk away. If you give in, they are even more obnoxious, and arguing just makes you look as ridiculous as they. life’s too short.
I employ the same strategy, even with family.
Life’s too short to spend it dealing with A-Holes.
Sometimes, you just have to ‘turn the other cheek’, but which I mean, turn around and show them your other cheeks while you walk away.
Usually easier said than done.
Is just shooting these people so wrong?
What I find the hardest is, when I succeed in not retaliating and behaving, it causes me to look at my more mature sisters more closely. I know they bite their tongue but it then makes me wonder how much they’re holding back when relating with me. It’s almost like knowing they’re not feeling as loving as they present because I’m not feeling as loving as I present when I’m holding in my negative reactions.
Then I start to wonder if I can trust who they present.
I think the answer is, if you are angry at someone, you need to step back and spend some time with the Lord and truly feel the love for the person you’re having difficulty with. Because holding in anger and acting in a way you don’t really feel isn’t right either.
Is anyone following? Anyone else deal with that?
Jen, you just entered some interesting terriroty there. Sometimes I would rather not know how certain people feel about me. If I feel that I can’t trust them, then I will hold that in the back of my mind before I approach them. That’s where acting comes in. But that’s over time. When this article was written, it was written at a time when I was having some serious anger issues (in that it kept getting to me), and my church wanted me to write a sermon for the Pastor who was on vacation. I thought that that was an excellent time for me to utilize both situations, and then teach from there.
I still have anger issues many times, but I’ve been praying more too. Like for example, just the other day, one of the people I have issues with was nice to me. And I prayed just before work for the Lord to give me the strength needed to handle that person. I know what this person does, how malicious in nature this person is, and I was bubbling up, just by knowing that I was about to work with this person. Just the thought alone got me angry without needing an incident to help trigger it. But I gave it to the Lord, and he went outside of my emotions, outside my “control” and handled it for me. And had I not prayed before going in, who knows what might have happened.
It’s very difficult to feel love for somebody who may be malicious, or discontent, yet in our walk with Christ, if we get closer and closer to him, and have his character traits rub off on us, then we will be more proned to know what he sees, and to not let such pettiness get in the way of our putting on love. Yet it is difficult, and I admit, I do stumble sometimes.
What a wonderful and transparent reply. Thanks for being real Rob :) It’s what I’m striving for.
I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. It is ASTOUNDING how much we can misunderstand each other, and mistrust.
I have a favorite aunt that always says nice things about everyone. Who can find fault with that right? I mean, she’s like who I want to be when I grow up.
But she said something about a relative lately that completely destroyed my perception of her. And I realized that her words and her real feelings are very very different.
And if her true thoughts don’t line up with the love she displays to that relative, I don’t feel I can trust the love she expresses toward me.
And yet, is it wrong that she’s loving to that relative that she has such difficulty with? No.
So I’m a little lost.
Maybe it is wrong to express love to someone you don’t really feel that way toward, and the challenge is to find genuine love for everyone.
-OR- is this what is known and learning to walk in it, act like it, eventually the love will come???
This is old man/new mind of Christ issues. Lol somebody wise please help me with application, because I’m going in circles.
I benefitted from a suggestion made by a counselor (also a pastor) in dealing with her...I just had to consider that in many ways she was retarded.
It made it much easier.
Rob is that you?
(P.S. that was to Rob my ex not Rob Case...man I’m a goof today)
But sometimes another perfect answer comes to mind that shuts the person up without anger toward them...otherwise I just turn away from them with a shrug of the shoulders...not worth arguments, as many say, life is too short and mine is getting shorter with each passing day..
Be not quick to take offense was from the OT, proverbs I think...
Yep, thanks granny. I think that’s one of my biggest problems.I take people at face value too much. I think Jesus must have been able to look at a person and see all kinds of influences in their lives along with their predisposition to see how tangled up they were in all kinds of things, and then He had compassion.
I, on the other hand, see the same person and take their vile talk at face value and can pretty much flame it as though the person speaking it was related to it.
And they’re not. And I need to remember that.
We’re all on this planet struggling so hard to get disentangled in so many snares, and we all need help. Praise God He is there. Now if only I would learn and try to walk in that.
It’s a good thing God is SO much more patient than I am!
I’m sure you are nothing like she who rides a broom...she was one in a million (we can all hope.)