This is one reason we must find, if not spiritual "directors" or guides or fathers or what have you, at least spiritual friends, who will kick us in the behind when we need it.
I referred earlier to my little picture of Dominic praying over the dead child. It's a fine painting, but one aspect of its "truth" is that Dominic has his hands extended over the child but his eyes are directed upwards and his expression is one of deep supplication.
There is not the least hint of "I've got the power!" It's ALL,"Lord, have mercy!"
And yes, not only do all things work together for good for them that are in Christ Jesus, but all things are gifts. Having nothing at last, we can begin to receive all things as the Lord directs.
Me personally, I'm just gratefully relieved when I am coherent ...