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“Dad’s Not Catholic. So Why Should I Be?” [Catholic Caucus]
Catholic Lane ^ | 04/28/11 | Kathleen Blease

Posted on 04/28/2011 7:55:21 AM PDT by Mary Kochan

I surprised our son one day. He was preparing for his Confirmation, and I felt it was important to have a heart-to-heart talk. I explained that while he will still need instruction in the Faith, that, in fact, it would become his responsibility to open his heart to the catechism and take it seriously. It was no longer just something Mom wanted. Confirmation should be something he wanted. I needed to know: Does he want to say Yes?

His first thought came out right away and I knew it had been looming for a few years: “Hey, Dad’s not Catholic — and you love him – so why should I be? Dad hasn’t said Yes, so why should I?”

Hmm. This was the question I had been dreading since my children were baptized as little babies. What would I tell them when they pointed out the obvious theological differences between their own parents?...

(Excerpt) Read more at catholiclane.com ...


TOPICS: Catholic
KEYWORDS: confirmation; grace; mixedmarriage; parenting
An inspired handling of a question dreaded by many Catholic moms. Please share this link widely.
1 posted on 04/28/2011 7:55:23 AM PDT by Mary Kochan
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To: Mary Kochan

An excellent piece. Thank you for posting it.


2 posted on 04/28/2011 8:01:00 AM PDT by Gondring (Paul Revere would have been flamed as a naysayer troll and told to go back to Boston.)
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To: Mary Kochan

Question Mary — I heard that now, while the Church allows a Catholic marriage ceremony between a Catholic and non-Catholic (as it always has), it now does not allow a Catholic mass. Is that true? Do you know the reasons for this?


3 posted on 04/28/2011 8:06:56 AM PDT by Cronos
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To: Mary Kochan

Great response...now darn it, why are my eyes all blurry?


4 posted on 04/28/2011 8:09:00 AM PDT by pgkdan ( "Wherever the Catholic sun doth shine / There's always laughter and good red wine / ...Belloc)
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To: Cronos

I had not heard that.


5 posted on 04/28/2011 8:12:18 AM PDT by Mary Kochan (http://www.catholiclane.com)
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To: Cronos

I married a Catholic, I’m not Catholic. I don’t know for sure if they would have allowed a mass but I didn’t want one since it wasn’t going to be a symbol of unity but division. I’d say if there’s an outright ban that would be why.


6 posted on 04/28/2011 8:14:25 AM PDT by JenB
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To: Mary Kochan

Goes to show that is why the parents are the first teachers in faith.


7 posted on 04/28/2011 8:18:19 AM PDT by Biggirl ("Jesus talked to us as individuals"-Jim Vicevich/Thanks JimV!)
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To: Cronos
"it now does not allow a Catholic mass"

Just the oposite. They only started having Mass for marriage between C and non-C in the '60s.

8 posted on 04/28/2011 8:18:59 AM PDT by cotton
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To: Cronos

As far as I know this has always been the case. I married my bride in 1980 and it was the case then.

Mel


9 posted on 04/28/2011 8:19:16 AM PDT by melsec
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To: melsec; cotton

thank you! So, no mass, just the ceremony? My sister in law is marrying a non-Christian and her Bishop needs to give a dispensation, but we didn’t know if they would allow a mass.


10 posted on 04/28/2011 8:21:59 AM PDT by Cronos
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To: Cronos

For interfaith marriages no Mass is usually the option because of the issue of communion. Non-Catholics cannot take communion in the Catholic church.


11 posted on 04/28/2011 8:27:28 AM PDT by workerbee (We're not scared, Maobama -- we're pissed off!)
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To: Mary Kochan

Filing for later reference, and to show my non-Catholic husband who sounds very similar to the author’s.

Thanks for posting.


12 posted on 04/28/2011 8:29:18 AM PDT by workerbee (We're not scared, Maobama -- we're pissed off!)
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To: workerbee

Does this also applies to ecumenical marriages or marriages between a Catholic and non-Catholic Christians as well? Thank-you for your response.


13 posted on 04/28/2011 8:47:51 AM PDT by Biggirl ("Jesus talked to us as individuals"-Jim Vicevich/Thanks JimV!)
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To: Biggirl
Catholic marriage, as a sacrament, is only recognized between two baptized Christians. That is, two Catholics, or one Catholic and one baptized from another apostolic Christian church. Marriage between a Catholic and a non-Christian is not valid as the sacrament of matrimony by the church, (although of course it is a legal marriage).
14 posted on 04/28/2011 8:57:25 AM PDT by workerbee (We're not scared, Maobama -- we're pissed off!)
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To: workerbee

In other words, those that have a priesthood line or deacon, priest, bishop line, not just a minister?


15 posted on 04/28/2011 9:11:04 AM PDT by Biggirl ("Jesus talked to us as individuals"-Jim Vicevich/Thanks JimV!)
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To: workerbee

For example, the Orthodox,Anglican, and some Lutheran churches, as given examples.


16 posted on 04/28/2011 9:14:21 AM PDT by Biggirl ("Jesus talked to us as individuals"-Jim Vicevich/Thanks JimV!)
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To: Mary Kochan

**“Dad’s Not Catholic. So Why Should I Be?” [Catholic Caucus]**

Because when Dad and Mom got married he promised to bring you up in the Catholic Church. It’s part of the wedding vows.

Simple answer, but not always obeyed (or even remembered) as a vow.


17 posted on 04/28/2011 9:22:56 AM PDT by Salvation ("With God all things are possible." Matthew 19:26)
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To: Biggirl

Yes, any of those would be valid sacramental marriages because all of them baptize in the name of the Holy Trinity. A Catholic marriage to a Mormom would not be considered sacramental because Mormon’s are not a trinitarian church.

Incidentally, the Church recognizes the marriage of two Protestants as sacramental for the same reason.


18 posted on 04/28/2011 9:23:24 AM PDT by workerbee (We're not scared, Maobama -- we're pissed off!)
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To: workerbee

The last statement, because of the nature of how the two Protestants are baptized, which is trinitraian. Even at a few Bible conferences that I had attended years ago for a few summers, baptizing new believers is done the trinitarian way.So that is why baptism is very much key, it is the gateway sacrament.


19 posted on 04/28/2011 9:32:02 AM PDT by Biggirl ("Jesus talked to us as individuals"-Jim Vicevich/Thanks JimV!)
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To: workerbee

Also the if memory is correct, the Mormons do baptizing of the dead, which again if my memory is correct, the Catholic Church was NOT very happy about and is not scriptural in any way a couple of years back.


20 posted on 04/28/2011 9:34:30 AM PDT by Biggirl ("Jesus talked to us as individuals"-Jim Vicevich/Thanks JimV!)
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To: Cronos

That’s not the case.

http://www.ewtn.com/expert/answers/nuptial_mass.htm


21 posted on 04/28/2011 12:41:46 PM PDT by mockingbyrd
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To: mockingbyrd

Thank you! I did not know where to get this information as our local parish priest was not really sure (I moved here to Poland a year ago and they don’t really know how to deal with marriages of Catholics to non-Christians!)


22 posted on 04/29/2011 12:35:16 AM PDT by Cronos
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To: Cronos

I have first hand experience with this. My husband didn’t swim the Tiber until the Easter after our marriage, but we still chose a Mass, because we wanted the grace and a mass.

My limited experience, with friends and such, if one of the parties is in RCIA, they often go with a mass.


23 posted on 04/29/2011 9:11:01 AM PDT by mockingbyrd
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