Royal Wedding: Archbishop Backs William and Kate's Decision to Live Together Before Marriage

The Daily Telegraph (UK) ^ | 4/29/11 | Tim Ross, Jonathan Wynne-Jones and Gordon Rayner

[marshmallow]

The Archbishop of York has given his backing to Prince William and Kate Middleton’s decision to live together before marriage.

The Archbishop of York backed Prince William and Kate Middleton’s decision to live together before marriage, saying that many modern couples want to “test the milk before they buy the cow”.

Dr John Sentamu argued that the royal couple’s public commitment to live their lives together today would be more important than their past.

But Anglican traditionalists criticised the Archbishop, the second most senior cleric in the Church of England, for failing to reinforce Christian teaching which prohibits sex outside marriage.

The row came as Prince William and Kate Middleton unveiled their choices for the royal wedding service, which include classically British music and hymns, and an updated choice of marriage vows in which the bride omits the word “obey”.

In a television interview, Dr Sentamu was asked whether it was appropriate for the Prince, who is in line to become head of the Church of England as King, to have been living with his bride before marriage.

He said he had conducted wedding services for “many cohabiting couples” during his time as a vicar in south London.

“We are living at a time where some people, as my daughter used to say, they want to test whether the milk is good before they buy the cow,” he said. “For some people that’s where their journeys are.

[Jeff Chandler]

It just occurred to me, gee, if an 18 year old boy was to move in and bed his young girlfriend, prior to marriage...do you really think he is thinking...’I just want to see if we’re c-o-m-p-a-t-i-b-l-e’?

Hence the cow metaphor.

It's the same reason guys are pro-abortion. They get uncommitted sex and get to bury the evidence.

[Hattie]

Wonder what the Archbishop has to say about Charlie? That was all ok too I suppose? If lots of people think it’s ok then it must be ok, right?

[Little Bill]

My Aunt, the family historian, was rather surprised at the number of swollen bellies before the Church door early in our family history.

[Jeff Chandler]

WTF, HUH, are you serious?

Serious about my views on parents who want guys "test driving" their daughters? Why wouldn't I be serious?

[manc]

cracks me up with those who say stats show but then give numbers from a place which backs their view up.

I’;d rather my kids know that they can live with someone than just wait and then find out he eats food in bed, leaves socks up, is a slob, is a bad tempered man, smashes things up

Like the saying goes, you do not know the person until you have lived with them

I lived with now my wife for two years and then we married and now we have 3 kids and going on 16 years and if a small minority doesn’t like it then tough, we’re happy and happy we did it like that

[vladimir998]

You wrote:

“you got a link from a source which is not a religious one please”

I used google. Maybe you should use google rather than seem helpless.

[Huskrrrr]

Several years ago I was dating a woman with a young daughter. We decided not to have sex before marriage for her sake. We did decide after three years that we were not compatible, so we ended our relationship. Years later the daughter contacted me and thanked me for being a good role model. She decided to wait until after marriage to have sex and is now married to a wonderful man who respects her. I know...this is only ONE example.

[Genoa]

I had always read that they were "flatmates" while at school, that is, residing at the same address as part of a multigender sharing of living quarters, along with others if I recall correctly. Such living arrangements could be with or without cohabitation. What surprises me is the archbishop's indelicate assumption that there was cohabitation (if indeed he was quoted correctly).

[ladyjane]

What kind of parent wants a man to "try out" his daughter's vagina before committing to love and cherish her?

That's not the reason. It's the gal who is checking out the guy's stuff.

[EDINVA]

The minister who counseled us before our wedding said each should give 100%. Then you don’t have to worry about how much either is taking.

Easier said than done, but something to try to achieve.

[manc]

WOW

well we’ve been married for going on 16 years, have 3 kids and lived with each other for 2 years before marriage and we did the right thing, infact she has just read your post and said some words which might make you happy.

Also ever heard of living with each other and not having sex?

[scbison]

Here is a couple when I googled cohabiation and divorce rates(see below) . Obviously not everybody who lives together before will get a divorce and whose who don’t live together before marraige will not divorce.. However, stattistically speaking, your chances are greater for divorce if you living together before marriage..

And if read Mona Charen column citing studies by Charles Murray a couples of days ago, married people tend to be happier, children are more balanced and do better in school and it keeps women from going into poverty.

http://www.rayfowler.org/2008/04/18/statistics-on-living-together-before-marriage/

/www.nytimes.com/1987/12/07/us/divorce-may-be-the-price-of-living-together-first.html

Also, google cohabitotion and divorce rartes.

[manc]

EDIT
WOW

well we’ve been married for going on 16 years, have 3 kids and lived with each other for 2 years before marriage and we did the right thing, infact she has just read your post and said some words which might NOT make you happy.

Also ever heard of living with each other and not having sex?

[manc]

you said stats back your view up and yet give nothing , so why should I waste my time looking when I did not make the claim

[Jeff Chandler]

It's the gal who is checking out the guy's stuff.

LOL! Wouldn't want to get stuck with a teeny peeny, now would she?

[Aliska]

This strikes me as more annoying than the actual fact that they lived together. I can't see the pope or an orthodox priest saying something like this. That cow and milk analogy comes across as unbefitting a clergyman.

Some women seem to do it trying to get a hold on the guy hoping he won't stray to someone else.

I wish somebody could explain why young people don't appear to have any sense of guilt. Is it a generational thing and not spiritual?

In my experience, if I didn't put out, and sometimes I did which to this day makes me feel ashamed, they quickly found someone else that would. Some very few seem to care and respect the woman so much that they will stick by her and go without until marriage.

I have pondered the issue of sexual compatibility now that I've learned a few more things. How do you know if you don't do it? I asked a priest about it, and he said God takes care of it. I wonder.

[manc]

it’s another religious link. I can hardly use that when putting forth your view point , I need an objective link if you have one please.

I’m not asking for it now but some time when you have more time

[Jeff Chandler]

Some women pass muster, and some don’t. The cool thing is that if she gets knocked up during the test drive, she can abort it.

Win-win.

[vladimir998]

You wrote:

“you said stats back your view up”

False. I never made that claim. I am more than happy to do so, but I didn’t.

” and yet give nothing ,”

False again. I posted a good link to info.

” so why should I waste my time looking when I did not make the claim”

I didn’t make the claim either. I just kindly provided the link. I am not helpless. Apparently you are.

[abb]

Recall how the Church of England got its start: Henry VIII wanted a divorce from Catherine so he could marry Anne Boleyn.

Maybe they’re still making allowances for royalty.