Posted on 04/30/2011 2:38:35 PM PDT by marshmallow
The Archbishop of York has given his backing to Prince William and Kate Middleton’s decision to live together before marriage.
The Archbishop of York backed Prince William and Kate Middleton’s decision to live together before marriage, saying that many modern couples want to “test the milk before they buy the cow”.
Dr John Sentamu argued that the royal couple’s public commitment to live their lives together today would be more important than their past.
But Anglican traditionalists criticised the Archbishop, the second most senior cleric in the Church of England, for failing to reinforce Christian teaching which prohibits sex outside marriage.
The row came as Prince William and Kate Middleton unveiled their choices for the royal wedding service, which include classically British music and hymns, and an updated choice of marriage vows in which the bride omits the word “obey”.
In a television interview, Dr Sentamu was asked whether it was appropriate for the Prince, who is in line to become head of the Church of England as King, to have been living with his bride before marriage.
He said he had conducted wedding services for “many cohabiting couples” during his time as a vicar in south London.
“We are living at a time where some people, as my daughter used to say, they want to test whether the milk is good before they buy the cow,” he said. “For some people that’s where their journeys are.
(Excerpt) Read more at telegraph.co.uk ...
With marriage however it is a commitment, because one does it out of love and deep feelings for each other and not for any financial or logistical reasons.
Since so many do it these days, I'm not judging anyone. It's their business. I wish them all well.
I don't mean to make this all about sex because it isn't but is a big issue. Historically in Western culture, it doesn't seem to be have been important that a woman derived any sexual pleasure to the point of fulfillment, just produce children and be a good wife, the worst was chastity belts but never that female circumcision. Sometimes I wondered if little boys were neutered for singing, but I don't know. Obviously some women had to have caught on to it at some point. It was common for men to have both wives and mistresses, and the wives put up with it because it was accepted and divorces were rare and prohibited. And this was Catholic Europe. I emphasize that nothing is always true across the board.
There are hints in Chaucer and some novels that used to be on the banned list that women indeed desired sexual fulfillment as well as the man.
To me, it's all a lottery, and some people are just luckier than others. I don't condone it but neither do I condemn it (on a couple's level), just on principle because that's what the bible says and the church has always taught. Leave it to God and His mercy.
I wish you well too, glad to hear your children are growing up well. You must have learned good parenting skills along the way.
You’re changing the subject. You stated that not all couples who live together are having sex. I contend that the number of cohabiting couples abstaining from sex is so small as to be statistically insignificant.
To get a meaningful result from a poll on the subject of the goodness of shacking up, a better group to question would be couples with long, successful marriages, say 25 years or more.
You need to read that USA Today study, it clearly says the study is not reflective and the numbers are skewed because the rates of cohabitation are much, much higher today that from earlier years, so the rates of divorce from any marriages would be higher.
Its not a scientific study its simply a cautionary tale.
So far you’ve not posted anything from religious spew, something from a “love” website and this, which cautions its readers to not take it for any statistical nor scientific value.
In that regard the archbishop’s statement could be considered progress.
“Some very few seem to care and respect the woman so much that they will stick by her and go without until marriage.”
Key point - thanks for sharing. If a man truly loves and respects the woman he claims to love, he will either make a lifetime commitment to her (called “marriage”), or respect her until he is ready to do so. I’m not convinced by the men on this thread who claim wonderful relationships that began with cohabitation. I’d like to ask their wives: would you had preferred - i.e., would you feel more respected - if your husband had waited for you until he actually married you? I believe the honest answers to that question would be very revealing.
My grandmother used to say of those who “tested the waters” without getting married: “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?” As far as I can tell, it is the man who benefits from this kind of arrangement.
The Bishop of York has revealed his shallow capitulation to popular culture by abdicating from his responsibility to uphold Christian teaching that sexual relations are intended only for marriage.
Marriage requires a tremendous amount of compromise and the willingness to change and adapt to someone who is as radically different from you as men are different from women. It is utterly self-serving (and the opposite of love) to insist on becoming intimate with your “potential” wife before you are willing to commit to her. That is why so few cohabiting couples end up actually getting married.
On a personal note, I am grateful I did not cohabit with my wife beforehand, as I she probably would have backed out of marrying me once she saw how imperfect I was (and am). Thankfully, we both believed marriage to be a lifelong commitment, and are now in our 23rd year.
My Swiss wife has a saying: “Wir sind nicht immer fruendlich, aber wir sind immer treu.” Translated: We are not always friendly, but we are always true.”
And don’t get me started on the children - the love and commitment of their mother and father is the center of their world, and helps them to believe that love really exists.
There was a thread about a bishop speaking out against this co-habitation habit......pun inteneded.
A man who wants to take my daughter for a test drive ought to remember I have a shotgun, a shovel and a large backyard...
Fornication - the old word for shacking up - is a good deal for guys and a terrible one for girls. And in the long run, it is good for neither the guy, the girl, or society. God is not mocked.
But then, I tend to think Obama is God’s judgment on our society...and figure we have no right to call God unjust. A society that rejects Him will get what it deserves.
“19Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, 20idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, 21envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.”
- Galatians 5
And there is the problem with non-Catholic, protestant denominations that feel compelled to comply with the times. Their statements do not follow scripture.
Du hast Recht.
Statistics say that those who live together before marriage are more likely to get divorced.
Well one take confort in one thing, the Archbishop looks like he is close to retirement and with more of the more conservative Anglicans taking the offer to sail down the Tiber, one day Westminister could very well be one day part of Rome.
And in Texas, the adage is, “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?”
I think that saying is morphing into “why buy the cow when you can milk the whole herd?”.
simple for you this, if you make a stupid claim then back it up with independent sources, simple
I often have similar thoughts.
we lived with each other as we were room mates and worked with each other, later we became more friendly and then got married.
thank you for the kind mature post, and I wish you and your family well,
do you actually have kids or do you preach and how you do it to others?
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