Skip to comments.They Say Marriage is a Dying Institution: What's Really Dying is Love
Posted on 05/10/2011 7:59:51 AM PDT by Bed_Zeppelin
WASHINGTON, D.C. (Catholic Online) - The pronouncement came from actress Cameron Diaz and psychiatrist Dr. Keith Ablow last week: marriage is a dying institution. It is an old tradition that has now overstayed its welcome and should be thrown out the back door. It doesn't suit us or our world any longer. So they say.
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Been married for 26 years by the grace of God. Don't see marriage being a dying, antiquated institution. It is selfishness that destroys marriage.
"And because iniquity shall abound, the love of many shall wax cold." Matt 24:12
I honestly don’t know if I’ll ever get married. Even assuming no children are involved a man can lose his shirt and good bit of skin in a divorce. If there are kids involved I would probably never see them again except when mommy neded money.
The entire institution of marriage has become such a stacked and risky game that I can’t see myself becoming a part of it unless I had a bullet proof prenup. Then we’ll talk about love.
Congrats on 26 years. I'll be starting in about 30 days! Haha. I'd also like to add that it's a lack of hard work as well. People today feel that things should come easy, and if they don't, they quit. That philosophy has been drilled into us. IE, Computer slows down... don't fix it, get a new one.
About to hit 30 years here. It all depends on whether you can put the interests of your spouse ahead of your own interests and if she/he can do the same.
Husbands, love your wife as Christ loved the church.
Sometimes one party does hold up their end of the contract while the other commits adultery or worse... and abandons their mate.
Love is important, but what is really “dying” is commitment (and not just in marriage).
You are right on the money. It is a lot of work, but the rewards more than justify the effort.
Months back, I was watching the raunchy comedian Jim Breuer (SNL’s Goat Boy) and his Hard Core comedy live series.
He goes on to his segment about marriage. He explains (a bit serious) that the reason of divorces/separation and using the “passion is not there” is a COP OUT and an EXCUSE.
I cannot go into specifics of “how” he explained it due to the uncensored version of it but this guy who hung out with Howard Stern and Lars Ullrich of Metallica in drinking binges explained it in a raunchy way that the passion/love is and always be there in a relationship. It’s on Youtube too.
She's almost 40 and has never been married. She has been dumped by a cavalcade of celebrities, however.
I'm not sure if her analysis here is disinterested. I am sure that it's as uninformed as her commentary on every other topic.
When she's without makeup....WOOF!
Married 29 years at the end of this month. Still in love, still attracted, still happy, with far more understanding of the strength of love than when we were 20.
The psychiatrist is a fool if he thinks children need mostly just to be provided for, and not to grow up in a stable home, knowing that they were brought into the world by a love that endures.
And he is a fool if he thinks that his interpretation of the experience of his patients - people troubled by mental illness or circumstances with which they cannot cope - is
the standard by which marriage should be judged.
Does he think that most people aren’t attracted to their partners after five years? How attractive are his patients going to be after they hit their thirties and forties anyway? How many men are going to be lined up to provide sex and companionship to a single mother in her forties who’s been around the block too many times already?
I’m engaged to someone I went to high school with 30 years ago. He is divorced from one of our other classmates and had to start over financially 7 years ago. That has made him very wary. Luckily them sharing the kids equally has worked out well.
He feels in his heart that we are married and at our age having kids is off the table. However, I’ve never been married before and I believe that the act and vows are extremely important so he’ll do what makes me happy.
I’ve offered to sign a prenup but he has declined, stating that he can’t enter into a marriage again thinking that it could fail. Neither of us is perfect but we’re perfect for each other and at 48 we’re old enough and weathered enough to know how to make things work.
You just may find the right person some day too.
Ms Diaz needs to take her message to the homosexual community.
Exactly right. I have been married 23 years. I have seen friends after 15 years and a couple of kids later call it quits. First, what attracted them to their spouse in the beginning that doesn’t attract them now, same person? Second, why did they continue to have children with someone they don’t care for anymore? And third, have they ever stuck to any commitment in their life? I believe it is the same entitlement attitude at a different level. Extremely selfish and not fair to the children they involve. They need to grow up.
Marriage may be fraught with risk, but it is less risky to you and the human race than promiscuity. Promiscuity leads to poorly reared children or aborted children, STDs, broken hearts or hardened hearts. Unless you have taken a vow a celibacy, I would urge you to consider that committed love is worth the risk and may even extend your life, as compared with whatever sex you are having without it.
Also, won’t you be needing some mutual care-giving when you are elderly? Plan now to spend your life with a loyal and caring person who will help you when you can’t do it all yourself.
>>The psychiatrist is a fool if he thinks children need mostly just to be provided for, and not to grow up in a stable home, knowing that they were brought into the world by a love that endures.
After I started teaching, I noticed that honors/AP classes had mostly kids from 2 parent homes, while regular ed has children from divorced homes. It’s pretty obvious.
translation: hollyweird types want to flaunt their hedonism and marriage as norm obstruct their revelries.