I believe I left my desparation along with my religion, back at one of the organizations. You may wish to come out of the darkened cult, yourself...if you can. Come into the light of Jesus, alone...if He wills.
Maybe you have difficulty understanding English, so read this very slowly, or have someone that does read english explain it to you. I was a Cradle Catholic that was swayed by your false man made theology and left the Catholic Church. Reading the Bible, and Tim Lahaye and others like him led me right back into full communion with the Catholic Church. This was a decision based on quite a bit of studying and read the Bible cover to cover.
I will continue to pray for your soul.