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To: Dr. Bogus Pachysandra
Ah, yes, the turkey buzzard. I am quite familiar with these vile and rancid beasts. We have more than enough of them here in Virginia, and I sincerely wish there was a hunting season on them.

As it happens, I have a (possibly) interesting, but definitely disgusting, first-hand account of a close encounter with one of the creatures, which I am willing to share with you (whether you want me to or not):

About five years ago while I was riding a dual-sport motorcycle on one of my favorite dirt County roads, one member of a group of turkey buzzards which were perched on an overhanging tree branch dropped towards the ground to feed on a road-kill possum. As luck would have it, he did this just as I was drawing near the deceased animal at a speed of approximately 60 mph.

I pretty much 'center-punched' the buzzard with the headlight assembly on my DR650. It slid over the top of the headlight assembly and came over the handlebars, simultaneously breaking off the right-side mirror and splitting open the bird. It then hit me in the upper body hard enough that it dislocated my right shoulder. I came VERY close to crashing the bike, but was able to bring it to a safe stop.

Fortunately, the buzzard was killed - but it made an awful mess all over my bike, my helmet, my gloves and my riding jacket. After spending a few minutes jumping around beside the road yelling ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, I managed to 'reassemble' my shoulder, and was even able to clean things up a bit using some dried leaves retrieved from the roadside ditch.

As I pulled away from the scene to begin my slow(er) and painful ride towards home, I could not help noticing, in my one remaining mirror, that the buzzard's former compatriots were already eying his carcass with a certain eagerness of purpose.

14 posted on 01/12/2012 8:44:34 AM PST by WayneS (Comments now include 25% MORE sarcasm for no additional charge...)
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To: WayneS

Your story clearly shows why the Turkey Buzzard simply must become the Ohio State Bird! Perfect match up! Don’t know why they remind me of Dennis the Menace Kookcinich?????


15 posted on 01/12/2012 8:51:05 AM PST by Dr. Bogus Pachysandra ( Ya can't pick up a turd by the clean end!)
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