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Outsourced prayer lines confuse callers
LarkNews ^

Posted on 12/18/2012 6:27:38 PM PST by Gamecock

DES MOINES — Last month, Lori Danes, 43, called the prayer line of a major television ministry and requested prayer for her mother’s persistent ulcers. But her prayer representative, who called himself “Darren,” prayed in a strong Indian accent that “all the gods would bless her mightily.”

“I was stunned,” Danes says. “It was like I’d called a demon prayer line.”

The manager of India Prayer Solutions, located in Mumbai, India, apologized for the incident and fired the employee who, he said, had not been properly trained. But dozens of similar incidents have rattled U.S. callers since major ministries began outsourcing their prayer lines to India. The ministries insist they are overwhelmed by the growing number of calls for prayer.

“There aren’t enough Americans willing to sit in the prayer tower and take calls anymore,” says a prayer coordinator at a major ministry which jobbed out its prayer lines last year.

But the interactions have left many callers baffled.

Rich Douglas of Orem, Utah, called a prayer line for the first time this month, requesting prayer for his wife’s cancer. His prayer partner, “Stephanie,” took him through a series of prayers that felt “pretty clinical,” says Douglas. “I definitely didn’t sense the Spirit. It sounded like she was reading from a script.”

“Stephanie,” whose real name is Reha Jain, is a Hindu woman who works at a call center in Mumbai and has prayed with “many satisfied prayer customers,” she says. “It’s like my old job at a Microsoft call center. The caller is happy if you deliver quality customer service.”

Her fellow worker Rajneesh Tuwalla likewise had never heard of a single U.S. ministry, but was “sick of working at the Sprint call center,” he says. “The customers always got angry about their bill.”

Tuwalla landed a job at a prayer center and learned to pray “Christian prayers” by watching Kenneth Copeland.

“All the TV preachers pray good, but Copeland prays the best,” says Tuwalla, who mimics Copeland’s style on the phone with callers.

Like many service reps, he uses an American name while on the job. In Copeland’s honor, Tuwalla calls himself “Ken.”

Tuwalla has heard the rumors that U.S. ministries may repatriate their call centers. He hopes it isn’t true. At his Sprint job he would have to “run around the block and maybe pull the head off a stray chicken” to settle down every night because of the stress he felt serving demanding U.S. customers. But the prayer center job is more relaxed.

“The callers are very nice,” he says. “I like my life again.”•


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: humor; satirejoke
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1 posted on 12/18/2012 6:27:42 PM PST by Gamecock
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To: HarleyD; Alex Murphy

I knew it!!!


2 posted on 12/18/2012 6:28:48 PM PST by Gamecock ( If we distort the gospel, that distortion will influence and affect everything else that we believe)
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To: Larry Lucido; F15Eagle

But the wedding deals are great.


3 posted on 12/18/2012 6:29:54 PM PST by Gamecock ( If we distort the gospel, that distortion will influence and affect everything else that we believe)
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To: Gamecock

They could probably outsource phone sex lines with no problem.


4 posted on 12/18/2012 6:30:09 PM PST by E. Pluribus Unum ("The more numerous the laws, the more corrupt the state." - Cornelius Tacitus, Roman Senator)
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To: Gamecock

Oh, lolsville.


5 posted on 12/18/2012 6:30:56 PM PST by HiTech RedNeck (How long before all this "fairness" kills everybody, even the poor it was supposed to help???)
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To: Gamecock

This ought to be entertaining...


6 posted on 12/18/2012 6:30:56 PM PST by stormer
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To: stormer

oh butt out, this isn’t for atheists.


7 posted on 12/18/2012 6:31:49 PM PST by HiTech RedNeck (How long before all this "fairness" kills everybody, even the poor it was supposed to help???)
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To: Gamecock
I called a suicide hotline the other day.

The guy on the other end got all excited, asked me if I knew how to drive a truck??????

8 posted on 12/18/2012 6:32:01 PM PST by DeepInTheHeartOfTexas
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To: Gamecock

Hello this is Father Peggy. . . .


9 posted on 12/18/2012 6:33:57 PM PST by kaehurowing
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To: Gamecock

ROFLMAO!!!!

“Elloe! Owe R you DoinG! Wude you like to make a prayer tonite, mmm? I am Bill and I will be praying to our gods for you.”


10 posted on 12/18/2012 6:35:34 PM PST by Tenacious 1 (The Click-&-Paste Media exists & works in Utopia, riding unicorns & sniffing pixy dust.)
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To: Gamecock

““There aren’t enough Americans willing to sit in the prayer tower and take calls anymore,” “

For $2/hour he means.


11 posted on 12/18/2012 6:38:16 PM PST by driftdiver (I could eat it raw, but why do that when I have a fire.)
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To: DeepInTheHeartOfTexas

GROOOOOOOOAN!


12 posted on 12/18/2012 6:39:37 PM PST by HiTech RedNeck (How long before all this "fairness" kills everybody, even the poor it was supposed to help???)
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To: Gamecock
At his Sprint job he would have to “run around the block and maybe pull the head off a stray chicken” to settle down every night because of the stress he felt serving demanding U.S. customers.

Who wrote this stuff? LOL!!! Bwaaa haaa! I can't stop laughing. Hindus answering Christian prayer lines....LOL!

What's the number? I'm calling tonight. I'm going to have them sacrifice a cow for me!!!!!

13 posted on 12/18/2012 6:40:08 PM PST by Tenacious 1 (The Click-&-Paste Media exists & works in Utopia, riding unicorns & sniffing pixy dust.)
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To: Tenacious 1

It’s satire!


14 posted on 12/18/2012 6:42:16 PM PST by HiTech RedNeck (How long before all this "fairness" kills everybody, even the poor it was supposed to help???)
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To: DeepInTheHeartOfTexas
I called a suicide hotline the other day.

The guy on the other end got all excited, asked me if I knew how to drive a truck??????

I am very glad you got through it. I'm not sure how the truck bit helped. But it must have worked. I'm going to use that the next time I get a call from someone contemplating suicide. God Bless and be with you.

15 posted on 12/18/2012 6:43:06 PM PST by Tenacious 1 (The Click-&-Paste Media exists & works in Utopia, riding unicorns & sniffing pixy dust.)
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To: Gamecock

God works in mysterious ways!


16 posted on 12/18/2012 6:43:20 PM PST by fattigermaster
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To: HiTech RedNeck
It’s satire!

...And it's STILL funny.

17 posted on 12/18/2012 6:44:59 PM PST by Tenacious 1 (The Click-&-Paste Media exists & works in Utopia, riding unicorns & sniffing pixy dust.)
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To: Slings and Arrows

Dial-a-prayer non-ping.


18 posted on 12/18/2012 6:46:02 PM PST by Squawk 8888 (True North- Strong Leader, Strong Dollar, Strong and Free!)
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To: Gamecock; a fool in paradise; Slings and Arrows
Holy Cows!


19 posted on 12/18/2012 6:47:23 PM PST by Revolting cat! (Bad things are wrong! Ice cream is delicious!)
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To: Tenacious 1

Think now.

What if the hotline got outsourced to Iran?


20 posted on 12/18/2012 6:49:00 PM PST by HiTech RedNeck (How long before all this "fairness" kills everybody, even the poor it was supposed to help???)
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To: Tenacious 1
I'm going to use that the next time I get a call from someone contemplating suicide.

Might not work,, imagine it with a middle eastern accent, then consider my whole comment again.

didn't think it needed an /s

21 posted on 12/18/2012 6:50:28 PM PST by DeepInTheHeartOfTexas
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To: kaehurowing

rotflol


22 posted on 12/18/2012 6:53:25 PM PST by F15Eagle (1 John 5:4-5, 4:15, 5:13; John 3:17-18, 6:69, 11:25, 14:6, 20:31; Rom10:8-11; 1 Tim 2:5; Titus 3:4-5)
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To: Squawk 8888

Pinged an earlier posting, thanks.


23 posted on 12/18/2012 6:54:06 PM PST by Slings and Arrows (You can't have IngSoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
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If the lady doesn’t have enough discernment to figure out what Kenneth Copeland is all about, I’m surprised the Indian call center raised an alarm.


24 posted on 12/18/2012 6:54:12 PM PST by Hayride
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To: Gamecock

A minute (or so) ago I called the suicide line. The recorded message told me to call tomorrow as it was open during business hours.


25 posted on 12/18/2012 6:55:09 PM PST by Revolting cat! (Bad things are wrong! Ice cream is delicious!)
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To: Gamecock

Tuwalla, you’re supposed to choke the chicken, not pull its head off!

No wonder you’re stressed!


26 posted on 12/18/2012 6:58:02 PM PST by headsonpikes (Mass murder and cannibalism are the twin sacraments of socialism - "Who-whom?"-Lenin)
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To: HiTech RedNeck
GROOOOOOOOAN!

Yer a tough crowd ;^)

27 posted on 12/18/2012 6:59:14 PM PST by DeepInTheHeartOfTexas
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To: DeepInTheHeartOfTexas

they asked me if I knew how to walk in to a crowed public space and push a button..

Not sure what that was all about.


28 posted on 12/18/2012 7:00:20 PM PST by cableguymn (The founding fathers would be shooting by now..)
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To: Gamecock

UHHH, why would one want to call a prayer call center anyway.

“My” God says it is fine if I sit someplace and pray to him day or night. Yes, he would probably prefer I attend Mass now and then, but ‘direct prayer’ has been in vogue for years. Now people are ‘paying’ for the privilege to ‘pray, on the phone’ in India....

We have come a long way baby, just not quite sure we are heading in the right direction.


29 posted on 12/18/2012 7:04:22 PM PST by xrmusn (6/98 "It is virtually impossible to clean the pond as long as the pigs are still crapping in it")
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To: HiTech RedNeck
There's a dial a prayer for atheists too. No one answers.
30 posted on 12/18/2012 7:15:40 PM PST by CrazyIvan (Obama's birth certificate was found stapled to Soros's receipt.)
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To: xrmusn

“UHHH, why would one want to call a prayer call center anyway.”

Pay attention to me!!!


31 posted on 12/18/2012 7:19:49 PM PST by AppyPappy (You never see a masscre at a gun show.)
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To: HiTech RedNeck

LOL! Why not?


32 posted on 12/18/2012 7:22:32 PM PST by stormer
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To: Squawk 8888; Slings and Arrows; Gamecock; F15Eagle

Don’t you mean the na’an ping list?


33 posted on 12/18/2012 7:28:27 PM PST by Larry Lucido
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To: Gamecock; Alex Murphy

They are trying to curry favor with God.


34 posted on 12/18/2012 7:29:55 PM PST by Larry Lucido
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To: Gamecock

First, I laughed until my sides ached. Then, I tried to be sad, but I couldn’t keep a straight face.

“A demon prayer line” ...

OMG. I’m crying I’m laughing so hard ... but it really isn’t funny.


35 posted on 12/18/2012 7:31:50 PM PST by BuckeyeTexan (There are those that break and bend. I'm the other kind.)
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To: Larry Lucido

We have a winner!


36 posted on 12/18/2012 7:34:08 PM PST by Gamecock ( If we distort the gospel, that distortion will influence and affect everything else that we believe)
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To: Larry Lucido; Squawk 8888; Gamecock; F15Eagle
Don’t you mean the na’an ping list?

Are you trying to curry favor?

37 posted on 12/18/2012 7:41:38 PM PST by Slings and Arrows (You can't have IngSoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
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To: Gamecock; humblegunner; Lazamataz

If you’ve ever had to snap the head off a stray chicken to settle down at night ... you might be an Indian call-center representative.

Bwahahahaha!


38 posted on 12/18/2012 7:43:10 PM PST by BuckeyeTexan (There are those that break and bend. I'm the other kind.)
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To: Gamecock

This is one of the most twisted, evil things I’ve read today. Deceiptful faith robbers. Good grief!


39 posted on 12/18/2012 7:45:05 PM PST by SaraJohnson
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To: SaraJohnson

It’s a joke - like this one


http://www.larknews.com/archives/5007

YORBA LINDA — Walk into Mark Hanson’s church and nobody will greet you. The guys hanging around the foyer might even make fun of what you’re wearing, or your haircut. A sign over the entrance reads, “Grab a seat in the back and shut up. Nobody cares what you think.”

Welcome to Jerk Church.

“You know these guys,” says Hanson, the pastor and founder. “They sit with their arms folded the whole time, leave during the altar call, criticize the pastor, snort when other people state their opinions and never create lasting bonds of friendship. Their wives are always really stressed. Bingo — that’s my mission field.”


40 posted on 12/18/2012 7:50:43 PM PST by F15Eagle (1 John 5:4-5, 4:15, 5:13; John 3:17-18, 6:69, 11:25, 14:6, 20:31; Rom10:8-11; 1 Tim 2:5; Titus 3:4-5)
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To: Larry Lucido

I laughed so hard at that I might of woke up the neighbors lol


41 posted on 12/18/2012 8:27:22 PM PST by Bulwyf
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To: F15Eagle; SaraJohnson
My all time fav is from way back in 2004: Techno-Tithe: Church Implants Microchips in Members' Right Hands


42 posted on 12/18/2012 8:38:56 PM PST by Gamecock ( If we distort the gospel, that distortion will influence and affect everything else that we believe)
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To: Gamecock; HarleyD
This is horrible. i don't care which denomination, but this is horrible, utterly horrible. Why do people want to have to call a telephone line for prayer? They would do this if they don't have enough support from the local community

And that (note, again leaving aside which denomination) is a failure -- each Church group, whether Catholic, Presbyterian, Pentecostal etc. should at the very least offer fellowship.

A phone line is so cold

And outsourcing prayer? Insane.

43 posted on 12/19/2012 12:17:28 AM PST by Cronos (**Marriage is about commitment, cohabitation is about convenience.**)
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To: E. Pluribus Unum

they already do that — read it somewhere, I think here on FR


44 posted on 12/19/2012 12:24:47 AM PST by Cronos (**Marriage is about commitment, cohabitation is about convenience.**)
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To: E. Pluribus Unum

they already do that — read it somewhere, I think here on FR


45 posted on 12/19/2012 12:24:47 AM PST by Cronos (**Marriage is about commitment, cohabitation is about convenience.**)
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To: HiTech RedNeck; stormer

well, it doesn’t say not for our atheist friends :-P


46 posted on 12/19/2012 12:26:26 AM PST by Cronos (**Marriage is about commitment, cohabitation is about convenience.**)
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To: driftdiver

I don’t understand how one can have a telephone prayer-in? Aren’t there Church prayer groups?


47 posted on 12/19/2012 12:30:17 AM PST by Cronos (**Marriage is about commitment, cohabitation is about convenience.**)
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To: headsonpikes

Probably was channeling his inner Ozzy Ozbourne


48 posted on 12/19/2012 12:31:55 AM PST by Cronos (**Marriage is about commitment, cohabitation is about convenience.**)
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To: xrmusn

exactly — this is crazy. It shows a lack of any community of prayer.


49 posted on 12/19/2012 12:35:10 AM PST by Cronos (**Marriage is about commitment, cohabitation is about convenience.**)
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To: BuckeyeTexan; shibumi

Can I get a prayer for my loony bun?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fxS6bFFhi6g


50 posted on 12/19/2012 6:48:15 AM PST by humblegunner
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