Free Republic
Browse · Search
Religion
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

7 Names The New Pope Should Avoid (No not that name!)
NC Register ^ | February 22, 2013 | Patrick Archbold

Posted on 02/23/2013 4:42:51 PM PST by NYer

Of all the possible advice I could give to a new Pontiff, perhaps the most important would be on the subject of name selection.

I wouldn't presume to tell the new Pope what name to pick, but I feel very qualified to tell him which names not to pick. All of the names below are previous names of Popes that should not be repeated. Let's just say they would send the wrong message or offer too many opportunities to detractors.

Hilarius

Picking this name is just asking for trouble. Trust me, Holy Father, it will be very difficult for you to be taken seriously. Why give them such easy ammunition? You might as well call yourself Pope Chuckles I. Not a good idea.

Simplicius

While simplicity can be a virtue, I just don't think I could bear years of Bill Maher simpleton jokes. It is just too easy, why give it to them?

Severinus

Again, just too easy. Popes are already routinely mocked for being 'severe.' Why give them this. Besides, there is a whole segment of the population that will think the Pope is a character in a J.K. Rowling novel. The geeks and cranks will routinely photoshop the pope into black robes and long greasy hair. If we wanted that, we would just elect Ozzy Pope. So no.

Lando

Again, no geeks references. No Star Wars names, period. Sorry, Pope Luke is out too. No Pope should have to endure comparisons to Billy Dee Williams or even Darth Vader. Frankly, I am not sure which is worse.

Sisinnius

Seriously? Do I even need to explain this one? Let's just say this name makes it increasingly difficult to promote traditional marriage. Best if avoided.

(Excerpt) Read more at ncregister.com ...


TOPICS: Catholic; Current Events; Humor
KEYWORDS:
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-5051-81 next last

1 posted on 02/23/2013 4:42:53 PM PST by NYer
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies]

To: netmilsmom; thefrankbaum; Tax-chick; GregB; saradippity; Berlin_Freeper; Litany; SumProVita; ...

Ping!


2 posted on 02/23/2013 4:43:39 PM PST by NYer ("Before I formed you in the womb I knew you." --Jeremiah 1:5)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Lando Lincoln

ping...


3 posted on 02/23/2013 4:45:29 PM PST by null and void (Gun confiscation enables tyranny. Don't enable tyranny.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: NYer
I guess you can take Pistorius off the list, too.

Last time around, I was rooting for George Ringo.

-PJ

4 posted on 02/23/2013 4:47:44 PM PST by Political Junkie Too (If you are the Posterity of We the People, then you are a Natural Born Citizen.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: NYer

Others to avoid:
* Pozzizle I
* Secretariat
* Sheldon Cooper


5 posted on 02/23/2013 4:48:32 PM PST by freedumb2003 (I learned everything I needed to know about racism from Colin Powell)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: freedumb2003
Sicola

(Pope Sicola):)

6 posted on 02/23/2013 4:52:08 PM PST by Cowman (How can the IRS seize property without a warrant if the 4th amendment still stands?)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 5 | View Replies]

To: NYer

Naughtius Maximus

Biggus D**kus

Anything from “Life of Brian”.


7 posted on 02/23/2013 4:53:33 PM PST by AnAmericanAbroad (It's all bread and circuses for the future prey of the Morlocks.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: NYer
In Dan Brown's Angels and Demons, the surviving cardinal chooses the name Luke.
8 posted on 02/23/2013 5:01:20 PM PST by Publius
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: NYer

There are many names to choose from, if it is done as a choice to reflect a previous Pope for what they hope to accomplish.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Roman_Catholic_Popes


9 posted on 02/23/2013 5:05:25 PM PST by yefragetuwrabrumuy (Best WoT news at rantburg.com)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: NYer

I’m hoping for Pius XIII or Gregory XVII. Leo XIV would be cool, too.


10 posted on 02/23/2013 5:21:37 PM PST by AnAmericanMother (Ministrix of ye Chasse, TTGS Ladies' Auxiliary (recess appointment))
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: AdmSmith; AnonymousConservative; Berosus; bigheadfred; Bockscar; ColdOne; Convert from ECUSA; ...

 GGG managers are SunkenCiv, StayAt HomeMother & Ernest_at_the_Beach
Thanks NYer.
  1. Hilarius
  2. Simplicius
  3. Severinus
  4. Lando
  5. Sisinnius
  6. Adrian
  7. Peter
Pope Ori should also be avoided. Pope Boylongwayfromhome is another no-go.

Just adding to the catalog, not sending a general distribution.

To all -- please ping me to other topics which are appropriate for the GGG list.


11 posted on 02/23/2013 5:22:33 PM PST by SunkenCiv (Romney would have been worse, if you're a dumb ass.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies]

To: Political Junkie Too; Cowman

LOLOL!


12 posted on 02/23/2013 5:25:01 PM PST by SunkenCiv (Romney would have been worse, if you're a dumb ass.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 4 | View Replies]

To: NYer
An Irish St. Malachy (1094-1148), named something like 100 coming popes and gave a short description of each. If this pope is Peter the Roman he will probably be the last one.

Documentation:

http://www.bibleprobe.com/last10popes.htm

13 posted on 02/23/2013 5:30:55 PM PST by mountainlion (Live well for those that did not make it back.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: NYer
Adrian
No, no Adrian either. Too much like a girls name and it kinda sounds British, which when you think about it is kinda the same thing.

No Patricia, it's only girlish in USAmerica, because the Herns have a habit of giving boys' names to girls.

The actual Gurl form is Adrianne.

14 posted on 02/23/2013 5:32:40 PM PST by Oztrich Boy (I think, therefore I am what I yam, and that's all I yam - "Popeye" Descartes)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: NYer; Chode

Okay I am going to wager on either Pius or Paul VII.

What you all think?


15 posted on 02/23/2013 5:35:56 PM PST by Morgana (Always a bit of truth in dark humor.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: mountainlion

So, “Conclusion the First”?

Or, “Pope Final Solution”?

If memory serves there were only two spots left for the Papal symbols in the Sistine Chapel the last time I was there. Ratzinger filled one.

I’ll have to go to the Vatican site and see if my memory is correct. There should be only one space left.


16 posted on 02/23/2013 5:38:40 PM PST by SaxxonWoods (....Let It Burn....)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 13 | View Replies]

To: NYer
Although more 20th or 21st century

Pope Suburban 1st might not be “big tent” enough in a time when a good chunk of Roman Catholics come from the 3rd world.

17 posted on 02/23/2013 5:40:33 PM PST by Vaquero (Don't pick a fight with an old guy. If he is too old to fight, he'll just kill you.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: NYer

Pooftus (unless you’re Obama)


18 posted on 02/23/2013 5:44:52 PM PST by twister881
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: NYer
No, no Adrian either. Too much like a girls (sic) name and it kinda sounds British, which when you think about it is kinda the same thing.

It's a safe bet that the writer didn't receive a classical education. Adrian is a form of Hadrian, the name of one of the Roman Empire's "five good emperors" and is a name frequently found among early Christian churchmen.

19 posted on 02/23/2013 5:46:18 PM PST by Fiji Hill
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: NYer
Each of the names listed has been used once, but only once, by a pope. The last pope with the number II, other than John Paul II, was Marcellus II in 1555, who died after about three weeks in office.

The last Pope Adrian was Adrian VI, a Dutchman who was so unfamiliar with Rome that he thought he was going to need to rent a place to live in. He lasted about a year--well-meaning reforming pope up against a lot of cardinals who were not keen on reforming. An earlier Pope Adrian, Adrian IV, is the one who gave the go-ahead to the English to conquer Ireland. He happens to be the only Englishman ever elected pope.

20 posted on 02/23/2013 5:48:03 PM PST by Verginius Rufus
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: NYer
I would also avoid the name "Pope Fabian." You may as well call yourself "Pope Sha-Na-Na."

(Pope Fabian was the 20th Pope, and reigned from 236 - 250.)

21 posted on 02/23/2013 5:48:03 PM PST by GreenHornet
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Oztrich Boy

Herns?


22 posted on 02/23/2013 5:48:03 PM PST by Huntress ("Politicians exploit economic illiteracy." --Walter Williams)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 14 | View Replies]

To: Morgana
Pius...
23 posted on 02/23/2013 5:49:42 PM PST by Chode (Stand UP and Be Counted, or line up and be numbered - *DTOM* -ww- NO Pity for the LAZY)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 15 | View Replies]

To: Fiji Hill

Hadrian’s mausoleum is a large round structure near the Tiber, on the same side as the Vatican. The Renaissance popes used it as a fortress and had an underground passageway so they could get there from St. Peter’s in an emergency.


24 posted on 02/23/2013 5:51:18 PM PST by Verginius Rufus
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 19 | View Replies]

To: NYer

Of course it will never happen, but a Pope Cletus II would be a nice nod to us rednecks. Unfortunately, there’s an antipope gumming up the works on that one.


25 posted on 02/23/2013 5:52:32 PM PST by Zionist Conspirator (Ki-hagoy vehamamlakhah 'asher lo'-ya`avdukh yove'du; vehagoyim charov yecheravu!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: freedumb2003

Pope Itmustela.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Antipope


26 posted on 02/23/2013 5:54:19 PM PST by SunkenCiv (Romney would have been worse, if you're a dumb ass.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 5 | View Replies]

To: GreenHornet
I love the story how he became Pope. He died a martyr.

Pope Fabian

Pope Fabian ruled from 10 January 236 to 20 January 250, succeeding Pope Anterus. He is honored as a saint by the Catholic Church.

Eusebius of Caesarea (Church History, VI. 29) relates how the Christians, having assembled in Rome to elect a new pope, saw a dove alight upon the head of Fabian, a layman and stranger to the city, who was thus marked out for this dignity and was at once proclaimed bishop by acclamation, although there were several famous men among the candidates for the vacant position.

27 posted on 02/23/2013 6:22:30 PM PST by johngrace (I am a 1 John 4! Christian- declared at every Sunday Mass , Divine Mercy and Rosary prayers!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 21 | View Replies]

To: Verginius Rufus

“The last Pope Adrian was Adrian VI, a Dutchman who was so unfamiliar with Rome that he thought he was going to need to rent a place to live in. He lasted about a year—well-meaning reforming pope up against a lot of cardinals who were not keen on reforming.”

This was in the early stages of the Protestant Reformation and Adrian proposed that perhaps the Church was at fault and its doctrines needed to be reformed. This of course went against the entrenched power structure in Rome who wouldn’t countenance any sort of change and continued to argue for the idea of papal/Church infallibility.

Also of course Adrian’s ethnic background went against him. As he was not Italian, he encountered the hostility of the Roman populace who considered him a stranger and a barbarian from a faraway country. His death was met with celebrations in the streets.

“An earlier Pope Adrian, Adrian IV, is the one who gave the go-ahead to the English to conquer Ireland. He happens to be the only Englishman ever elected pope.”

How very convenient. “God has ordained that England (my homeland) conquer the heathen Irish.” Oh well, that was just how things were in medieval times when the Papacy was a political football.


28 posted on 02/23/2013 6:23:44 PM PST by Strk321
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 20 | View Replies]

To: Fiji Hill

The Emperor Hadrian was an anti-Semitic fag.

“The term Five Good Emperors was coined by the political philosopher Niccolo Machiavelli in 1503.”

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nerva%E2%80%93Antonine_dynasty#Five_Good_Emperors


29 posted on 02/23/2013 6:23:44 PM PST by SunkenCiv (Romney would have been worse, if you're a dumb ass.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 19 | View Replies]

To: NYer

Pope Lexus I?


30 posted on 02/23/2013 6:34:08 PM PST by Revolting cat! (Bad things are wrong! Ice cream is delicious!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: NYer

Pope Goesaweasel is definitely out.


31 posted on 02/23/2013 6:39:52 PM PST by CrazyIvan (Obama's birth certificate was found stapled to Soros's receipt.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: AnAmericanAbroad

Bigus is classic!!! I got the joke.

He should not pick Petronum.


32 posted on 02/23/2013 6:41:18 PM PST by GreatestGuyIKnow (If it's not on FoxNews, it didn't happen.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 7 | View Replies]

To: NYer

Why not . . .
Exadaius, or just plain
Exodus . . .
Or maybe something like
Peter-Paul . . . the two didn’t get along so much, and there is always a lot of hidden infighting going on in the back rooms of the Vatican. A Peter-Paul could fight back at both sides at the same time
Lamenteous . . .
Armageddiconus . . .
Or finally, he could be Apocalypsus


33 posted on 02/23/2013 6:45:31 PM PST by GGpaX4DumpedTea (I am a Tea Party descendant...steeped in the Constitutional Republic given to us by the Founders.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: NYer

If he’s from Mexico he’ll choose Jesus II (pronounced ‘hay-sues’), if he’s a brother, he’ll choose Ice Mofo I.


34 posted on 02/23/2013 6:49:07 PM PST by Revolting cat! (Bad things are wrong! Ice cream is delicious!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: NYer

I’m hoping he chooses Peter the Roman.


35 posted on 02/23/2013 6:50:20 PM PST by Lazamataz (Republicans have the same policies as the Democrats, except for the part where they win elections.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: GreenHornet
I would also avoid the name "Pope Fabian." You may as well call yourself "Pope Sha-Na-Na."

(Pope Fabian was the 20th Pope, and reigned from 236 - 250.)

I don't know, but times may be right for a Pope Fabian of Pompadour...


36 posted on 02/23/2013 6:50:58 PM PST by rochester_veteran ( http://RochesterConservative.com/forums)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 21 | View Replies]

To: Fiji Hill
Adrian is a form of Hadrian, the name of one of the Roman Empire's "five good emperors" and is a name frequently found among early Christian churchmen.

Seeing as how Hadrian (rot his bones!) came about as close to extirpating Judaism from the earth as has ever been done by anyone, and his turning Jerusalem into a pagan Roman city, that certainly doesn't speak well of the early chrstians.

37 posted on 02/23/2013 7:01:51 PM PST by Zionist Conspirator (Ki-hagoy vehamamlakhah 'asher lo'-ya`avdukh yove'du; vehagoyim charov yecheravu!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 19 | View Replies]

To: NYer

Sonja Henie’s out.


38 posted on 02/23/2013 7:19:56 PM PST by bramps (Sarah Palin got more votes in 2008 than Mitt Romney got in 2012)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Huntress
Goon Show reference to Americans.

Serves to typlify the "everywhere is exactly like the USA" attitude.

39 posted on 02/23/2013 7:21:56 PM PST by Oztrich Boy (I think, therefore I am what I yam, and that's all I yam - "Popeye" Descartes)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 22 | View Replies]

To: NYer

Completing the list

Adrian

Peter


40 posted on 02/23/2013 7:47:50 PM PST by Salvation ("With God all things are possible." Matthew 19:26)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: mountainlion
Old news!

St. Malachy's prophecy, misread?
Saint Malachy, Prophecies about 112 popes until the end of the world, the last five Popes
A POPE DESCRIBED AS 'FROM THE SUN' WAS BORN DURING ECLIPSE AND LEAVES WITH ONE
RATZINGER APPEARS TO FULFILL MALACHY PROPHECY [De Gloria Olivae]
Malachy's Prophecies - The Last 10 Popes
Prophecy of St Malachy (with list of Popes)

41 posted on 02/23/2013 7:49:50 PM PST by Salvation ("With God all things are possible." Matthew 19:26)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 13 | View Replies]

To: NYer

i think Mohammed would be the elephant in the room to avoid...


42 posted on 02/23/2013 7:49:58 PM PST by Secret Agent Man (I can neither confirm or deny that; even if I could, I couldn't - it's classified.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: bramps; CrazyIvan

‘Pope Goes The Weasel’

You guyz z z z - !

Hope the RC’s on this thread appreciate the humor - as a non-RC, I do.
Don’t think you’re poking fun at Popes - just fertile minds working at the moment . . .


43 posted on 02/23/2013 7:52:59 PM PST by USARightSide (S U P P O R T I N G OUR T R O O P S)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 38 | View Replies]

To: NYer
Pope Finis
44 posted on 02/23/2013 7:55:11 PM PST by MeneMeneTekelUpharsin (Freedom is the freedom to discipline yourself so others don't have to do it for you.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: NYer

I hope that Best Buy will commemorate the election of the new pope with a big once in a lifetime sale.


45 posted on 02/23/2013 7:59:21 PM PST by Revolting cat! (Bad things are wrong! Ice cream is delicious!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

Comment #46 Removed by Moderator

To: NYer
Even with just a very minimal knowledge of Latin, it is obvious that many words and names derived from Latin end in "us", including many names of earlier Popes.

With that in mind, I think they might consider adding a few more names to that list of names not to use, such as these:

   Bocephus

   Festus

   Hoponthebus or Hoponthebusgus

I'm still internally debating the possiblity of using "Blessus"...

(I really hope that no Latin expert comes on here and says that that is some kind of bad word in Latin.)

47 posted on 02/23/2013 8:16:09 PM PST by Heart-Rest ("I have set before you life and death, blessing and curse; therefore choose life" Deuteronomy 30:19)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Heart-Rest

Hilary


48 posted on 02/23/2013 8:17:33 PM PST by Salvation ("With God all things are possible." Matthew 19:26)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 47 | View Replies]

To: Salvation
"Hilary"

Oh no!!!

49 posted on 02/23/2013 8:21:19 PM PST by Heart-Rest ("I have set before you life and death, blessing and curse; therefore choose life" Deuteronomy 30:19)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 48 | View Replies]

To: NYer

Jesse Jr.?


50 posted on 02/23/2013 8:22:44 PM PST by Rocky (Obama is pure evil.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-5051-81 next last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
Religion
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson