Skip to comments.New Text Message Mass All The Rage At Gonzaga University
Posted on 04/18/2013 4:43:35 PM PDT by markomalley
Spokane, WashingtonExpressing sadness for the lack of attention from parishioners during Sunday Masses, Gonzaga University priest Fr. John Conti has recently instituted an all new Text-Message-Only Mass. The Gonzaga graduate who just celebrated his 15th anniversary of priesthood told reporters that the idea came to him as he sat listening to the deacon read the epistle. I looked out and saw all these college kids reading texts messages on their phones, Conti said. Thats when I knew the Church needed to catch up or risk being left behind, so to speak. So I figured, heck, if theyre already on their phones, might just be easier to text them the prompts and they can just text back the responses. Conti went on to say that people can think of the new approach to the Mass as a Novus Ordo Low Mass, in that its quiet throughout the Mass, but that the text messages are in the vernacular rather than Latin. 20-year-old Ganzaga junior Jane Douglas told Eye of the Tiber that the Text-Message-Only Mass has made her enjoy going to Mass again. Its sorta awesome now. Last Sunday I was texting my boyfriend and I got this text that was all like Th Lord b W u, and I was all texting back like, n w ur spirit ; ), and then went back to my boyfriend and decided wed just go pick up my roommate Sarah and then go to the bonfire. I guess its just kinda cool to know you dont have to leave your social life just cause your at church. Conti says that if it werent for the distribution of the Eucharist, he would be happy to have the Mass go completely virtual. I like to call it e-fellowship.
Maybe the reason no one goes to Mass is that they aren’t Catholic anymore...
There is no reception of the sacraments via remote texts.
What a dualistic society we’ve become.
Is this satire???
Don't let that be a concern. Someone will develop an app to download a virtual Eucharist by the end of the week. (Somehow, that really wouldn't surprise me.)
My thoughts exactly. Imagine that, church interfering with her social life was such a drag. Where is the factory that cranks out people like this? (Don’t answer, I know where it is.)
It’s a bandwidth issue.
check the keywords and the topics.
lol...realistic enough to be very effective....nice.
I dunno, if I could find a quiet NO Mass I might go...j/k
Satire.I got this one in my email a couple days ago...
Do Las Vegas Churches accept gambling chips?
THIS MAY COME AS A SURPRISE TO THOSE OF YOU NOT LIVING IN LAS VEGAS, BUT THERE ARE MORE CATHOLIC CHURCHES THAN CASINOS.
NOT SURPRISINGLY, SOME WORSHIPERS AT SUNDAY SERVICES WILL GIVE CASINO CHIPS RATHER THAN CASH WHEN THE BASKET IS PASSED.
SINCE THEY GET CHIPS FROM MANY DIFFERENT CASINOS, THE CHURCHES HAVE DEVISED A METHOD TO COLLECT THE OFFERINGS.
THE CHURCHES SEND ALL THEIR COLLECTED CHIPS TO A NEARBY FRANCISCAN MONASTERY FOR SORTING AND THEN THE CHIPS ARE TAKEN TO THE CASINOS OF ORIGIN AND CASHED IN.
THIS IS DONE BY THE CHIP MONKS.
YOU DIDN’T EVEN SEE IT COMING DID YOU?
Its so easy to fool ole folks!!!
Judgement, Purgatory, Hell, Heaven: all face to face - no text, and not virtual
You know, this is a pretty brilliant idea. No, I’m serious. Now I need the app the enables me to send the MOVE YOUR REAR text to those folks who stand in the door of the train and block my exit.
Hard to tell reality from satire. Both absurd.
This priest needs some help in the area of relativism.
He is going down the drain, wouldn’t you say?
The Mass is a coming together. Not a staying apart.
Just another heretic with a “new” idea that doesn’t understand the basics of his religion.
(Oh, and I use iBreviary)
Revised Standard Version Catholic Edition (RSVCE)
25 He answered, Whether he is a sinner, I do not know; one thing I know, that though I was blind, now I see.
I see it clearly on a Clear day now. LOL!
You sure got me. :O
Yeah, I do try it myself sometimes. And then when everybody starts with the dour sour solemnities and the dull earnest aspergers-like comments, I sez to myself, sez I: "Hey, didn't I learn years ago that satire just does not register on the FReepazoid mind?
So, let it be a lesson to ye.
I will still post EotT and AotA stuff.
We all need to smile from time to time.
OK, well done. I was’t trying to inhibit your posting style. Just don’t be surprised by the, clue-deficient response from some in-DUH-viduals :o)
If they can't read clearly labeled topics and keywords, then whose fault is it?
It’s pretty sad when we think this is true.
And then when everybody starts with the dour sour solemnities and the dull earnest aspergers-like comments...I'm just an in-DUH-vidual, but doesn't satire, used within posts of faith, border on being sacrilegious?
Your /s/ tag: don't leave home without it.
Do the scriptures forbid the weapon of satire? Only a surface reading of certain texts could lead us to that conclusion. E.W. Bullinger has a section in his book Figures of Speech Used in the Bible called EIRONEIA: or Irony, which is subdivided to include "sarcasmos" i.e., sarcasm. He lists about fifty uses of such irony from the mouth of both God and man.
Perhaps the funniest came from Elijah to the prophets of Baal. I Kings 18:27, "Shout louder. Surely he is a god! Perhaps he is deep in thought or busy, or traveling. Maybe he is sleeping and must be awakened." That is funny! Further examples could be given of irony and other forms of humor used in scripture. The truth is, the Bible is far wittier and more creative than we trust ourselves to be.
I don't want Christian writers to grudgingly accept the use of satire. I want them to embrace it. They should embrace it because it has such marvelous potential.
-- from the thread Taking Humor Seriously
“I’m just an in-DUH-vidual, but doesn’t satire, used within posts of faith, border on being sacrilegious?”
Read some more GK Chesterton. Seriously.
This is the same Gonzaga that boots out students who defend themselves OFF CAMPUS
For example, from his book, George Bernard Shaw (1909),
” An original man has to pause at every allusion or simile to re-explain historical parallels, to re-shape distorted words. Any ordinary leaderwriter (let us say) might write swiftly and smoothly something like this: “The element of religion in the Puritan rebellion, if hostile to art, yet saved the movement from some of the evils in which the French Revolution involved morality.” Now a man like Mr. Shaw, who has his own views on everything, would be forced to make the sentence long and broken instead of swift and smooth. He would say something like: “The element of religion, as I explain religion, in the Puritan rebellion (which you wholly misunderstand) if hostile to artthat is what I mean by artmay have saved it from some evils (remember my definition of evil) in which the French Revolutionof which I have my own opinioninvolved morality, which I will define for you in a minute.” That is the worst of being a really universal sceptic and philosopher; it is such slow work. The very forest of the man’s thoughts chokes up his thoroughfare. A man must be orthodox upon most things, or he will never even have time to preach his own heresy”
(I happened to have this one on my tablet...)
Well-written witty pieces are great, as long as the author is not trying to “trick” someone. Then it becomes sacrilegious to me if their topic is Christianity.
It might be viewed as a change of subject, but IMO information is not a zero-sum commodity, i.e. there is a cost (and benefit) in possessing relavant information. Keeping that in mind, IMO the only way an author of religious satire can "trick" someone is if the reader themselves are ignorant, that is a) they are deliberately kept unaware that the written piece is satire, and b) they are deliberately kept unaware of actual facts or events surrounding the object of satire, which may have inspired the satire.
I can't help the ignorant fool with item B, but in regards to item A, if the "tricked" FReeper failed to confirm the intent of the source article, and failed to observe the "Humor" tag placed on the thread, they are without excuse if they still feel they have been "tricked".
Read some more GK Chesterton. Seriously.My husband has read Chesterton much more than I have and he said he doesn't recall him writing much satire about the faith itself. He did mention Erasmus' "In Praise of Folly," as being a famous satire on the Catholic Church.
Ping to my not-entirely-coincidental post #39 on this thread.
What you said.