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How Celibate Gay Christians Deal With Desire
Live Science ^ | 05/24/2013 | Stephanie Pappas

Posted on 05/24/2013 8:24:27 PM PDT by SeekAndFind

Between the faction of gay Christians who are happy with their sexual identity and "ex-gays," who say they've removed their homosexual yearnings, is a third group that gets little attention. These so-called Side B Christians identify as gay and believe it's not sinful to do so. But because they see acting on their orientation as ungodly, they commit to a life of celibacy.

Now, for the first time, a sociologist has taken an in-depth look at what makes Side Bs tick, particularly how they navigate their same-sex desires and their awkward position as stuck in the middle of ex-gay groups and content gay Christians. The study is small, but finds that Side Bs experience both tension and connection with these two groups. (The origins of the "Side B" term are foggy, but the terminology seems to come from the organization the Gay Christian Network, which labels gay Christians who do not see their sexuality as sinful as "Side A" and those who do as "Side B.")

"The networks overlap with these two groups very strongly, and they did often feel kind of caught in the middle, certainly," said study researcher S.J. Creek, a sociologist at Hollins University of Virginia.

The study of Side B Christians grew out of a larger research project by Creek looking into the lives of ex-gay Christians. This movement, which centers largely around the organization Exodus International, claims that same-sex desire can be stifled and that sexual orientation can be changed — hence the term "ex-gay." Numbers on ex-gay individuals are hard to come by, but Exodus International claims 3,000 people worldwide attend one of its ministry events each week.

In interviewing people who had sought help from ex-gay groups and then left, Creek found two distinct groups:

(Excerpt) Read more at livescience.com ...


TOPICS: Moral Issues; Religion & Culture; Religion & Science
KEYWORDS: celibacy; chastity; gaychristians; homosexuality; moralabsolutes
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1 posted on 05/24/2013 8:24:27 PM PDT by SeekAndFind
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To: SeekAndFind

They stay away from cities like Mount Vernon and Manassas.


2 posted on 05/24/2013 8:27:12 PM PDT by edpc (Wilby 2016)
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To: SeekAndFind

These people deserve a great deal of support and respect, it must be difficult for them to conform to what the Church believes is a moral life


3 posted on 05/24/2013 8:32:16 PM PDT by faithhopecharity (()
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To: faithhopecharity

Single straight Christians do the same thing if they believe the teachings of celibacy before marriage.


4 posted on 05/24/2013 8:37:38 PM PDT by Anitius Severinus Boethius (www.wilsonharpbooks.com - New Robin Hood book out!)
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To: faithhopecharity

Not just difficult, hellish actually. My daughter is this way and she cries and cries and laments her position in life. She loves the Lord, but has been “transgendered” from an extremely young age. She is still young (20’s) but hopefully she will come to the place where she can just give up trying to find love with a female partner because that means sex (usually) and sex brings her guilt, unhappiness, etc.


5 posted on 05/24/2013 8:39:17 PM PDT by hulagirl (Mother Theresa was right)
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To: SeekAndFind

You know, if you avoid all the racy stuff on the Internet and TV, it can make it a lot easier...


6 posted on 05/24/2013 8:46:09 PM PDT by guitarist
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To: Anitius Severinus Boethius

yes indeed


7 posted on 05/24/2013 8:46:58 PM PDT by faithhopecharity (()
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To: hulagirl

yes, good for her!!
sounds like she’s doing it successfully so far


8 posted on 05/24/2013 8:47:48 PM PDT by faithhopecharity (()
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To: hulagirl

I sympathize with your daughter, but I doubt she is any more lonely or any more horny than any other single Christian woman. Endless millions of women have been alone for many years, either because we never had a chance to marry, or are widowed, or were divorced, or are ill. It’s not exactly a unique situation to be in but I wouldn’t describe it as “hellish.”


9 posted on 05/24/2013 9:31:42 PM PDT by ottbmare (The OTTB Mare--now a Marine Mom)
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To: hulagirl

Bring her back to God. Get an exorcist to pray this demon out of her.


10 posted on 05/24/2013 9:35:19 PM PDT by Salvation ("With God all things are possible." Matthew 19:26)
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To: SeekAndFind
What a weird subject.

I'll never understand people that can't or won't get laid.

11 posted on 05/24/2013 9:36:26 PM PDT by knarf (uals-two logic)
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To: SeekAndFind

I suppose a non-practising homosexual Christian is no worse than a non-practising heterosexual Christian. If the celibacy is in obedience to God, does it really matter whether it is abstaining from men or abstaining from women? The abstinence should be applauded if it is sincere and honoring to God.


12 posted on 05/24/2013 10:12:27 PM PDT by OrangeHoof (Our economy won't heal until one particular black man is unemployed.)
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To: knarf

you’re probably right, you probably never will understand it.


13 posted on 05/24/2013 10:16:35 PM PDT by Secret Agent Man (I can neither confirm or deny that; even if I could, I couldn't - it's classified.)
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To: faithhopecharity

That is the most Christian post on FR ever. God bless you.


14 posted on 05/24/2013 10:22:21 PM PDT by Private_Sector_Does_It_Better (I AM ANDREW BREITBART)
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To: hulagirl

Prayers for your daughter. I don’t know her, I respect her courage.


15 posted on 05/24/2013 10:24:48 PM PDT by Private_Sector_Does_It_Better (I AM ANDREW BREITBART)
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To: faithhopecharity

They’ll be shunned by the national gay movement because they do nothing to aid the gay mafia’s recruiting efforts aimed at kids.


16 posted on 05/24/2013 10:29:10 PM PDT by DPMD
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To: Anitius Severinus Boethius; SeekAndFind

Actually, celibate gay Christians have a harder struggle because they do not have marriage as a solution. They have a life-long struggle. Yes, we need to support them.


17 posted on 05/24/2013 10:41:49 PM PDT by newberger (Put not your trust in princes, in sons of men in whom there is no salvation.)
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To: hulagirl

Or seek a minister who is in “deliverence” ministry.


18 posted on 05/25/2013 3:49:19 AM PDT by Biggirl ("Jesus talked to us as individuals"-Jim Vicevich/Thanks JimV!)
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To: Salvation

The question I have is, is she “possesed?” The young lady may be attacked or maybe oppressed.

There are Christian ministers who are into healing and delieverence ministries.


19 posted on 05/25/2013 3:53:02 AM PDT by Biggirl ("Jesus talked to us as individuals"-Jim Vicevich/Thanks JimV!)
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To: hulagirl

God Bless and be with your daugther.


20 posted on 05/25/2013 3:53:58 AM PDT by Biggirl ("Jesus talked to us as individuals"-Jim Vicevich/Thanks JimV!)
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To: SeekAndFind

Isn’t it impossible to be a gay Christian?


21 posted on 05/25/2013 5:13:56 AM PDT by stuartcr ("I have habits that are older than the people telling me they're bad for me.")
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To: stuartcr
Isn’t it impossible to be a gay Christian?
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Yes, it is possible to be Christian and gay. They simply do not act on their impulses in the same way unmarried heterosexuals do not act on their impulses.

22 posted on 05/25/2013 5:24:45 AM PDT by wintertime
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To: stuartcr

You’re confused again. It’s impossible to be an honest leftist.

The thing you work so hard at failing to grasp is that we all fall short, we’re all imperfect and therefore we sin. Christians repent of their sins and sincerely endeavor not to commit them.

This is something that anyone can do, regardless of their sins, or the degree of them.

Attempting to distort scripture into favoring or at least not condemning your particular, personal sin is ultimately not going to be of any benefit, though. Going along with it to appear accepting is not love, either. You’re leading them to their deaths.


23 posted on 05/25/2013 5:33:43 AM PDT by RegulatorCountry
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To: Private_Sector_Does_It_Better

you are very kind, thank you!
keep a smile, and keep faith alive
fhc


24 posted on 05/25/2013 6:04:13 AM PDT by faithhopecharity (()
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To: DPMD

yes they will be shunned.
difficult for them, likely.
but who in this life is not shunned by somebody or some group of somebodies?
It is, methinks, a big part of “growing up” to learn how to deal with this simple fact of life.
They can do it if they put their mind and faith to it.
Not easy, not easy at all, but we all have learned, or have to learn how to handle this difficult part of life.
Best, fhc.
-————————————20.) But in a great house there are not only vessels of gold and of silver, but also of wood and of earth; and some to honour, and some to dishonour.

21.) If a man therefore purge himself from these, he shall be a vessel unto honour, sanctified, and meet for the master’s use, and prepared unto every good work.

22.) Flee also youthful lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart. (2 Tim. 2:xx)


25 posted on 05/25/2013 6:12:52 AM PDT by faithhopecharity (()
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To: wintertime

ok thanks


26 posted on 05/25/2013 6:23:07 AM PDT by stuartcr ("I have habits that are older than the people telling me they're bad for me.")
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To: RegulatorCountry

I’m not leading anyone anywhere. I asked that because over the years here on FR, I’ve read that a homosexual cannot be a true Christian.

I guess it depends on who one talks with...sounds rather relative to me.


27 posted on 05/25/2013 6:25:29 AM PDT by stuartcr ("I have habits that are older than the people telling me they're bad for me.")
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To: ottbmare

This is true, I also have a celibate Christian friend who’s never been married; she wishes she was, but she fills her life with activities, Christian and non, and manages. I guess the “hellish” part is realizing that your same sex attractions in and of themselves are so different and “wrong”, and your chances of ever finding a mate are proscribed by scripture, even if you found someone (as in the case of unmarried women finally finding someone). Also, she’s had many “deliverance” episodes with many pastors, groups and churches. We’re waiting on the Lord, in any case. Thanks for comments and prayers.


28 posted on 05/25/2013 6:33:41 AM PDT by hulagirl (Mother Theresa was right)
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To: stuartcr

“I guess it depends on who one talks with...sounds rather relative to me.”

I believe it depends solely on what Scripture alone teaches about this topic regardless of what any individual(including myself) or religious group says about it.

For some scriptural examples of the Bible’s teaching on this topic:

Romans 1:24-27

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=romans%201:24-27&version=ESVUK

1 Corinthians 6:9-10

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=I%20Corinthians%206:9-10&version=ESVUK

1 Timothy 1:8-11

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=I%20Timothy%201:8-11&version=ESVUK

Jude 7

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Jude%207&version=ESVUK


29 posted on 05/25/2013 11:15:56 AM PDT by ReformationFan
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To: DPMD

Bingo.


30 posted on 05/25/2013 11:17:35 AM PDT by ReformationFan
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To: faithhopecharity

I agree. Wasn’t lamenting the fact they’ll be shunned, just hoping to portray the cruelty of the gay mafia, and the single-minded orthodoxy.


31 posted on 05/25/2013 11:33:16 AM PDT by DPMD
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To: ReformationFan

Not for a person that does not follow scripture.


32 posted on 05/25/2013 11:59:53 AM PDT by stuartcr ("I have habits that are older than the people telling me they're bad for me.")
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To: stuartcr

I wouldn’t call that person a Christian then.


33 posted on 05/25/2013 1:20:40 PM PDT by ReformationFan
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To: stuartcr
I think the confusion centers on different definitions of "homosexual."

Some people use "homosexual" to mean: "a person who experiences same-sex attraction," whether or not they "identify as "gay", whether or not they seek same-sex romantic or sexual relationships, whether or not they see this as an unchangeable part of their personality.

Other people use "homosexual" to mean: "a man who has sexual relations with men, or a woman with women."

The first definition doesn't necessarily involve any kind of sin or rebellion. This "homosexual" could be a faithful, believing Christian, just like any other person who simply has a disorder of some kind.

A disorder in itself, is not a sin or a rebellion against God.

But the second sort --- the practicing homosexual who engages in behavior behavior that is forbidden by Divine and Natural Law---is not being a faithful Christian.

The second definition indicates prohibited actions. That's deliberate sin, and that's the problem.

34 posted on 05/25/2013 3:02:55 PM PDT by Mrs. Don-o ("In Christ we form one body, and each member belongs to all the others." Romans 12:5)
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To: hulagirl
I once knew a couple consisting of a rather butch woman married to a rather femme man. They might have thought of themselves as "gay" before they got married, but they each found what they needed in the other. So they had a real man-woman marriage!

I say, more power to them.

John Stoltenberg and Andrea Dworkin come to mind.

It's surprising how many lesbians end up marrying men.

35 posted on 05/25/2013 3:07:12 PM PDT by Mrs. Don-o ("In Christ we form one body, and each member belongs to all the others." Romans 12:5)
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To: Mrs. Don-o

The late PCA theologian Francis Schaeffer would distinguish by using the following terms: “homophile”(a person who deals with same-sex temptations and attractions) and “homosexual”(a person who engages in same-sex sexual acts). To quote Schaffer, “not all homophiles are necessarily homosexuals and not all homosexuals are necessarily homophiles.”

Regardless of one’s feelings, same sex sexual acts are always sin.


36 posted on 05/25/2013 3:29:35 PM PDT by ReformationFan
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To: ReformationFan

You would be correct.


37 posted on 05/25/2013 4:28:41 PM PDT by stuartcr ("I have habits that are older than the people telling me they're bad for me.")
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To: ReformationFan
You (and Francis Schaeffer) are quite right to make this distinction.

Sodomy (deviate sexual intercourse) is a sin, and it is wrong whether it is engaged in by so-called homosexuals or so-called heterosexuals, and whether it is woman-woman, man-man, or even man-woman.

There are not a few men who would call themselves heterosexual and yet commit sodomy with other men, esp. under certain circumstances (e.g. prison, the military, or some other predominantly male environment.)

All the language concerning sex and gender has become confusing, as normal behavior has become more and more deconstructed.

And what a demonic project this is: the deconstruction of sex and gender. It is coming close to the core of deconstructing humanity per se.

38 posted on 05/25/2013 4:32:58 PM PDT by Mrs. Don-o ("In Christ we form one body, and each member belongs to all the others." Romans 12:5)
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To: Mrs. Don-o

See, it seems like it depends on who one talks to. thanks


39 posted on 05/25/2013 4:33:20 PM PDT by stuartcr ("I have habits that are older than the people telling me they're bad for me.")
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To: Mrs. Don-o

And to replace the natural family with the state.


40 posted on 05/25/2013 4:42:46 PM PDT by ReformationFan
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To: ReformationFan
Exactly.

Geez, and we thought the Soviets were bad. This is far more radical. And they (the radical opponents of the natural family) are accomplishing more evil with confusion and "consent," than the Soviets did with coercion and force.

41 posted on 05/25/2013 4:47:24 PM PDT by Mrs. Don-o ("In Christ we form one body, and each member belongs to all the others." Romans 12:5)
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To: stuartcr

Sometimes it’s not a substantive disagreement. There is much confusion in language right now.


42 posted on 05/25/2013 4:48:32 PM PDT by Mrs. Don-o ("In Christ we form one body, and each member belongs to all the others." Romans 12:5)
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To: Mrs. Don-o
I heard second hand of a priest speaking on sex to a group of young people and had those who were married (uh, to a person of the opposite sex) raise their hand.

"You can," he said. "The rest of you, can't"

Question: Is heterosexual fornication a lesser sin than homosexual fornication?

43 posted on 05/25/2013 4:56:56 PM PDT by don-o (He will not share His glory, and He will not be mocked! Blessed be the Name of the Lord forever!)
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To: Mrs. Don-o

I agree


44 posted on 05/25/2013 4:59:58 PM PDT by stuartcr ("I have habits that are older than the people telling me they're bad for me.")
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To: OrangeHoof
I suppose a non-practising homosexual Christian is no worse than a non-practising heterosexual Christian. If the celibacy is in obedience to God, does it really matter whether it is abstaining from men or abstaining from women? The abstinence should be applauded if it is sincere and honoring to God.

Exactly. Why everyone makes it seem like it's SOOOOO hard to be a Christian with homosexual desires over that of a Christian with equally strong, normal, heterosexual desires is beyond me.

Desire is desire and the only difference is how it's directed. Sin is sin.

It's not stronger desire or harder to manage because it's directed toward the same sex as opposed to the opposite sex.

45 posted on 05/25/2013 7:33:15 PM PDT by metmom (For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore & do not submit again to a yoke of slavery)
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To: Mrs. Don-o

What so many people fail to realize is that temptation is NOT sin.

Temptation comes, but it’s what we do with the temptation. Do we resist it through the power of the Holy Spirit?

Or do we entertain and engage it and then end up falling into sin?

So being tempted by homosexual sin is not sin itself, nor is it any person’s identity. It’s simply an area where they are easily tempted and they struggle with it. I pity people who deal with that particular attraction because of the stigma attached to it. Nobody is as hard on people for being tempted sexually when it’s with members of the opposite sex, and yet it still is sexual temptation.

Praise God that He can deliver and free people from homosexuality.


46 posted on 05/25/2013 7:39:32 PM PDT by metmom (For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore & do not submit again to a yoke of slavery)
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To: don-o
The OT penalty for all sex outside marriage was the same, except in the situation where two single people has sex.

Anyway, Romans indicates that same sex attraction reveals a depth of depravity greater than usual, but there is also 1 Corinthians 6 where Paul says,.....

1 Corinthians 6:9-11 9 Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, 10 nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. 11 And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.

Homosexuality is a choice, just like all sin is.

47 posted on 05/25/2013 7:45:40 PM PDT by metmom (For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore & do not submit again to a yoke of slavery)
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To: SeekAndFind; All

Good article from 2009 on this topic-

http://www.virtueonline.org/portal/modules/news/article.php?storyid=10082#.UaGaqkBQFsc


48 posted on 05/25/2013 10:18:52 PM PDT by ReformationFan
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To: metmom
Good insights, metmom. You are exactly right.

We live in a media culture which uses sexual stimulation 24/7/365 for random entertainment, sales, and social change strategies. This combination of a temptation-packed, visually-saturated, "lust-o-genic" culture, plus a social-change agenda to twist people away from a commitment to sex that is specifically procreative, marital, and holy, has set up everybody for barrages of temptation.

And although "everybody" is the target, young males are the bulls-eye. Hence the LGBT campaign to capture the Boy Scouts.

How far this has been wrested from the will of God and from our own good!

May God help us all.

49 posted on 05/26/2013 4:40:40 AM PDT by Mrs. Don-o ("In Christ we form one body, and each member belongs to all the others." Romans 12:5)
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To: metmom

Amen! Prison convicts engaging in homosexual behavior has always been a strong contra-indicator of the “born that way” myth. Active homosexuals are perverts, they CHOOSE to act that way, and they try to convert others. Promiscuous activity is a choice driven by evil temptations that are not resisted.


50 posted on 05/26/2013 4:50:50 AM PDT by King Moonracer (Bad lighting and cheap fabric, that's how you sell clothing.....)
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