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Franciscan Media Ready To Publish New Non-confrontational Translation Of Bible
Eye of the Tiber ^ | 7/12/2013

Posted on 07/12/2013 2:31:16 AM PDT by markomalley

Cincinnati, OH––Catholic book publisher and distributer Franciscan Media announced today that their new non-confrontational translation of the Bible will be released sometime this September.

Franciscan Media executive Roger Hammond told the press this week that he hopes the new translation helps to appease the minds of critics that have long called the Bible violent and judgmental.

“It took close to a decade to complete this ambitious translation, and we’re confident it’ll help people better understand the all-encompassing compassion contained within the scriptures.

Hammond goes on to explain one of the most riveting scenes in the New Testament where Jesus, after having overturned the tables of the money changers, goes back to help clean up, apologizing profusely as he does so.

Another scene in which the compassion and kindness of Jesus shines forth is Matthew 16:23 where, after having been asked by Peter to not enter Jerusalem and eventually into the hands of the Pharisees, Jesus asks Peter to “hold that thought for a moment,” before addressing Satan; “Satan, if you wouldn’t moving just a tad bit behind me? I’d really like to get this little point across to Peter. I feel so rude asking you this, but…I mean don’t go out of your way or anything…” 

Hammond went on to tell reporters that the project has become a kind of therapy for all those involved in the project.

One employee of Franciscan Media, Beverly Tomas, said that seeing Christ in a new, more tender, and compassionate way helped her get over years of abuse she suffered by “strict and judgmental nuns.”

“I remember sitting back just a year ago and reading a newly translated verse in which the old Christ would’ve said something like “Woe to you, Pharisees, you hypocrites,” but now he gently places a hand on the shoulder of a Pharisee, pleadingly, and says,”Come on guys…I was gonna call you a whited-washed sepulchers, but honestly, I don’t think your a bad person…I just think maybe your hurting,” and lightly tapping the Pharisee on the chest, Jesus said unto him, “Hey, guy…you wanna know what I think? I think you’re hurting inside…hurting right there in that big ol’ heart of yours. Is that’s why you’re acting like this? Wanna talk about it?”


TOPICS: Catholic; Humor
KEYWORDS: eyeofthetiber; satire
Caution: this is from the site "Eye of the Tiber"

'nuff said.

1 posted on 07/12/2013 2:31:16 AM PDT by markomalley
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To: markomalley
some_text
2 posted on 07/12/2013 2:38:00 AM PDT by ClaytonP
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To: markomalley

Franciscan? No way! Is this satire?

This will NEVER get the imprimatur of the Catholic Church.


3 posted on 07/12/2013 2:49:28 AM PDT by kitkat (STORM THE HEAVENS WITH PRAYERS FOR OUR COUNTRY)
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To: kitkat
Did you read the disclaimer?
It is our duty as a reputable Catholic news source to cover all stories that pertain to and concern the average Catholic in the pews. Striving to be both fair and balanced, we are sometimes forced to cover stories about religious orders and Catholic leaders that we may be fond of; such is the nature of our business. But in so doing, Eye of the Tiber has become a leading source for Catholic satire to the astute, and legitimate Catholic news to the obtuse. We are proud to have recently been nominated for Best Catholic News Satire, narrowly losing out to the National Catholic Reporter, proving thus that, more trusted Catholic news sources aside, Eye of the Tiber is your most trusted Catholic news source.

4 posted on 07/12/2013 3:08:36 AM PDT by Olog-hai
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To: markomalley

Yeah, i am sure the anti Gods would love it if its true.


5 posted on 07/12/2013 3:59:35 AM PDT by ravenwolf
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To: markomalley
non-confrontational translation of the Bible

Ain't no such thing. Just as there is no such thing as a round square, or a same-sex marriage.

They're free to write their own book. But that's not the same as translating the Bible.
6 posted on 07/12/2013 4:30:11 AM PDT by LearsFool ("Thou shouldst not have been old, till thou hadst been wise.")
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To: LearsFool
They're free to write their own book. But that's not the same as translating the Bible.

Caution: Eye of the Tiber is a satire site.

7 posted on 07/12/2013 4:32:33 AM PDT by markomalley (Nothing emboldens the wicked so greatly as the lack of courage on the part of the good -- Leo XIII)
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To: LearsFool

God has perfect wisdom.

The Bible is God’s sacred Word.

The Bible is perfect wisdom.

No “translations” required.


8 posted on 07/12/2013 4:34:48 AM PDT by newfreep (Breitbart sent me...)
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To: newfreep
No “translations” required.

Provided you read Greek, Hebrew, Chaldean, and Aramaic...I agree completely.

For the rest of us, translation into the vernacular helps a bit.

9 posted on 07/12/2013 4:37:48 AM PDT by markomalley (Nothing emboldens the wicked so greatly as the lack of courage on the part of the good -- Leo XIII)
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To: markomalley

Agree.

However, this “translation” is a re-write of God’s perfect word to push an agenda that is not God’s.

Truly blasphemous.


10 posted on 07/12/2013 4:46:20 AM PDT by newfreep (Breitbart sent me...)
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To: newfreep
However, this “translation” is a re-write of God’s perfect word to push an agenda that is not God’s.

Eye of the Tiber is a satire site.

They are mocking modern "inclusive" versions (IMHO)

11 posted on 07/12/2013 4:49:09 AM PDT by markomalley (Nothing emboldens the wicked so greatly as the lack of courage on the part of the good -- Leo XIII)
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To: newfreep
"However, this “translation” is a re-write of God’s perfect word to push an agenda that is not God’s."

This translation doesn't exist. The article is satire.

12 posted on 07/12/2013 4:49:45 AM PDT by circlecity
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To: markomalley

Fascinating.

Call it half the posts so far that missed every mention of “satire.”


13 posted on 07/12/2013 5:18:46 AM PDT by Tax-chick ("The human project is all about babies! Culture is all about babies!" ~ Cdl. Dolan)
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To: markomalley

It would be funnier if the author knew the difference between “your” and “you’re.” As it is, it reads like a junior high kid trying to be witty.


14 posted on 07/12/2013 5:29:47 AM PDT by IronJack (=)
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To: newfreep

Yet there are different “translations”. Go to any Bible commentary website.


15 posted on 07/12/2013 5:32:25 AM PDT by Biggirl ("Jesus talked to us as individuals"-Jim Vicevich/Thanks JimV!)
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To: Olog-hai
We are proud to have recently been nominated for Best Catholic News Satire, narrowly losing out to the National Catholic Reporter,

HAH!!!!

That left a mark ...

16 posted on 07/12/2013 5:33:06 AM PDT by ArrogantBustard (Western Civilization is Aborting, Buggering, and Contracepting itself out of existence.)
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To: markomalley
Caution: this is from the site "Eye of the Tiber"

Remember the immortal words of W.C. Fields: "Never give a sucker an even break."

17 posted on 07/12/2013 5:45:14 AM PDT by Oratam
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To: markomalley

Brilliant name for the site.

I had never heard of this site, so I must confess that I thought, when I first started reading, that this was for real.


18 posted on 07/12/2013 6:06:13 AM PDT by Bigg Red (Restore us, O God of hosts; let your face shine, that we may be saved! -Ps80)
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To: kitkat; markomalley
Kitkat: "Eye of the Tiber". Satire.

Mark: One warning isn't enough. Not at FR.

19 posted on 07/12/2013 6:08:53 AM PDT by Mrs. Don-o ("If thou wilt enter into life, keep the commandments." Matthew 19:17)
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To: markomalley

Isn’t this just the opposite of what the Pope is saying??

I understood him to say to priests, etc. “Confront the difficult issues. Don’t water the message down.”

Or was that someone else?


20 posted on 07/12/2013 7:02:29 AM PDT by Salvation ("With God all things are possible." Matthew 19:26)
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To: Mrs. Don-o

And I guess I missed it. I looked for the humor connotation, but didn’t see it.


21 posted on 07/12/2013 7:03:55 AM PDT by Salvation ("With God all things are possible." Matthew 19:26)
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To: markomalley

Okay, you got me. :-)

(It doesn’t surprise me, though, when men rewrite the Bible to suit themselves and lead others astray.)


22 posted on 07/12/2013 7:09:49 AM PDT by LearsFool ("Thou shouldst not have been old, till thou hadst been wise.")
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To: Mrs. Don-o; Salvation

” Mark: One warning isn’t enough. Not at FR.”

you’d think the “humor” topic and “satire” keyword would do it...

heh


23 posted on 07/12/2013 8:13:45 AM PDT by markomalley (Nothing emboldens the wicked so greatly as the lack of courage on the part of the good -- Leo XIII)
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