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Episcopal Church Weighs Ban on Straight White Males
Virtue Online ^ | 7-13-13 | David W. Virtue

Posted on 07/13/2013 11:03:47 AM PDT by ReformationFan

Episcopal Church gays and lesbians are weighing a resolution to be put forward at the next General Convention making it illegal for straight white males to be admitted to the priesthood.

LA Bishop Mary Glasspool, an avowed lesbian and one of many lesbians and gays supporting the "no white males resolution", crafted her resolution after hearing a straight white male preaching a sermon condemning homosexual behavior last month.

"I was shocked, stunned, blown away and mortified. I have never heard such homophobia coming from a pulpit. That was my moment to say enough is enough.

"This comes down to a choice between misogynistic white males versus gays and lesbians in an ever shrinking church and LGBTQI folk who insist they should be able to get laid by whomever, whenever because G-d loves them just the way they are, and we choose justice, inclusion and integrity."

Bishop Glasspool said she has the support of bishops like Gene Robinson, Otis Charles, Frank Griswold, clergy like Susan Russell and pedophiles and sexual abusers like Bede Parry and many more gays who have yet to come out of the closet. She said the resolution would keep out men who only had a penile interest in women, hate-mongers, homophobes, and other gay hating types. She said she was deeply moved by the late Ronald Haines Bishop of Washington who unofficially adopted that policy when he was bishop there. It worked so well the diocese is now being largely sustained financially by the Soper Fund.

"Straight white males are only good for breeding future gays if we can screw up the family relationships early enough in their lives, but we do not want them preaching, running churches, and definitely not bishop material, it's an insult to our dignity and integrity," opined Glasspool.

But a straight white bishop, the Rt. Rev. Gregory Brewer (CF), believes that the total ban on straight white males goes "too far". He is proposing a less draconian resolution that would allow some white men who love women to remain in the Episcopal Church as associate rectors and vicars.

Glasspool concurred. "The Episcopal Church needs white males to clean up the refreshments in the kitchen on Sunday morning after the service is over. Men can clean the pews and the elements and lick plates in case the water is turned off because of an unpaid water bill," said Glasspool, noting that a large number of churches bordered on extinction owing to the collapse of heterosexual marriages.

"If they show that they can do those things and stay out of church politics, there might just be a pathway to ordination if they behave themselves and subject themselves to women priests some of whom have strong sado-masochistic tendencies."


TOPICS: Current Events; Humor; Mainline Protestant; Moral Issues
KEYWORDS: antichrist; celebratesin; civilrights; cultureofcorruption; culturewar; deceivers; downisup; episcopagan; episcopal; gaystapotactics; heterophobia; homonaziagenda; homosexualagenda; lavendermafia; liberalism; litmustest; religiousleft; satire; swm; wrongisright
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Why any non-homosexual male of any race would want to attend any ECUSA "church" that has not already exited that denomination is beyond my understanding.
1 posted on 07/13/2013 11:03:48 AM PDT by ReformationFan
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To: ReformationFan

A church without children is a church that will die.

Bye Episcopalians, it’s been nice to know ya.


2 posted on 07/13/2013 11:06:05 AM PDT by Jonty30 (What Islam and secularism have in common is that they are both death cults)
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To: ReformationFan
A joke today may become the reality of tomorrow...


3 posted on 07/13/2013 11:07:21 AM PDT by darkwing104 (Let's get dangerous)
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To: ReformationFan
***LA Bishop Mary Glasspool...***

Maybe that should read: Mary Cesspool

4 posted on 07/13/2013 11:07:24 AM PDT by MichaelCorleone (Jesus Christ is not a religion. He's the Truth.)
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To: Jonty30

“A church without children is a church that will die.”

I think that’s been their plan all along.


5 posted on 07/13/2013 11:07:30 AM PDT by ReformationFan
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To: ReformationFan

That’s a “church” that’s on the fast path straight to hell.


6 posted on 07/13/2013 11:07:41 AM PDT by usconservative (When The Ballot Box No Longer Counts, The Ammunition Box Does. (What's In Your Ammo Box?))
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To: ReformationFan

I didn’t know being a white male was a depraved sexual preference.


7 posted on 07/13/2013 11:08:52 AM PDT by CivilWarBrewing
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To: ReformationFan

I guess they’ve decided that not enough young boys are being abused . . .


8 posted on 07/13/2013 11:11:55 AM PDT by Tanniker Smith (Rome didn't fall in a day, either.)
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To: ReformationFan
"Straight white males are only good for breeding future gays if we can screw up the family relationships early enough in their lives, but we do not want them preaching, running churches, and definitely not bishop material, it's an insult to our dignity and integrity," opined Glasspool.

Spoken like a true heterophobe antibreeder bigot.

9 posted on 07/13/2013 11:12:02 AM PDT by a fool in paradise (America 2013 - STUCK ON STUPID)
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To: ReformationFan
"I was shocked, stunned, blown away and mortified. I have never heard such homophobia coming from a pulpit. That was my moment to say enough is enough."

This raises serious questions of the woman's sanity. One cannot believe that even in a corrupted Obamanist era Church, anyone can be ordained who is totally unfamiliar with the Bible. Based upon that premise, this woman is obviously delusional.

William Flax

10 posted on 07/13/2013 11:12:53 AM PDT by Ohioan
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To: ReformationFan
What deity do they worship?

Are they familiar with the One who offers Love and forgiveness or Justice poured from the now brim full Cup of Wrath?

Not much time left...

11 posted on 07/13/2013 11:13:58 AM PDT by GBA (Our obamanation: Romans 1:18-32)
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To: darkwing104
A joke today may become the reality of tomorrow...

Once gays reach a critical mass, they will start excluding straights. It happened in some Catholic seminaries.

12 posted on 07/13/2013 11:14:22 AM PDT by PapaBear3625 (You don't notice it's a police state until the police come for you.)
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To: ReformationFan

At first, I thought this was from “The Onion” and couldn’t possibly be true. God help us all! It starts with the ECUSA and will spread to other denominations — just give it time. Where is my Hiding Place?


13 posted on 07/13/2013 11:15:27 AM PDT by Polyxene (Out of the depths I have cried to Thee, O Lord; Lord, hear my voice.)
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To: a fool in paradise

“heterophobe.” Did you just make that up? If so, then you should get it trademarked.


14 posted on 07/13/2013 11:15:28 AM PDT by Rio
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To: ReformationFan


15 posted on 07/13/2013 11:15:53 AM PDT by Chode (Stand UP and Be Counted, or line up and be numbered - *DTOM* -ww- NO Pity for the LAZY)
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To: Jonty30

A church without children is a church that will die.

Just ask the Shakers — if you can find one.


16 posted on 07/13/2013 11:15:56 AM PDT by Polyxene (Out of the depths I have cried to Thee, O Lord; Lord, hear my voice.)
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To: ReformationFan

This is satire, right?


17 posted on 07/13/2013 11:17:20 AM PDT by gitmo ( If your theology doesn't become your biography it's useless.)
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To: Ohioan

The inmates are officially running the asylum....


18 posted on 07/13/2013 11:17:43 AM PDT by MWestMom (Psalms 109:8)
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To: ReformationFan
Now, how precious is this? The LBGT crowd will have its own church of anti-Christian heretics. The ECUSA has chosen its road to Hell. Enjoy.
19 posted on 07/13/2013 11:18:43 AM PDT by MasterGunner01
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To: ReformationFan; Revolting cat!; Slings and Arrows; wagglebee; GeronL
Glasspool concurred. "The Episcopal Church needs white males to clean up the refreshments in the kitchen on Sunday morning after the service is over. Men can clean the pews and the elements and lick plates in case the water is turned off because of an unpaid water bill," said Glasspool,

"That's racist!"

20 posted on 07/13/2013 11:19:08 AM PDT by a fool in paradise (America 2013 - STUCK ON STUPID)
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To: ReformationFan

2 questions: what the heck is QI? and what the h*ll is wrong with these people?


21 posted on 07/13/2013 11:21:11 AM PDT by jocon307
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To: ReformationFan

This is of course satire. However what would you expect from a cult that was founded by the decadent Henry VIII ?


22 posted on 07/13/2013 11:21:28 AM PDT by allendale
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To: ReformationFan

Its tagged as humor, but not too far from reality .


23 posted on 07/13/2013 11:21:30 AM PDT by Into the Vortex
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To: ReformationFan

There is a very good reason why we walked away from this, and why my husband is an Anglican priest in the Anglican Church in North America.


24 posted on 07/13/2013 11:27:14 AM PDT by Ray'sBeth
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To: ReformationFan
The ECUSA has an enormous amount of financial resources - not just land and buildings, but cash and securities holdings from generations of bequests and donations.

The goal of this crew is drive away as many believers as possible while keeping the resources.

Imagine having a congregation of 50 aging liberals. You conduct one service per week - one hour's work.

In return, you are paid over $100,000 per year, you live rent-free in a lavish home, you drive a parish car, you have unlimited free time and a gold-plated retirement and health package.

All you need is a majority of the parish trustees and a cooperative bishop and you are on the gravy train for life.

25 posted on 07/13/2013 11:27:34 AM PDT by wideawake
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To: ReformationFan

Dear Queer Giraffes,

Due to the discriminatory nature of sexual organs, congress has determined in fairness that all fetuses are to be genetically altered as gender neutral. Opposition parties have supported the measure in that it provides if you like your gender, you can keep it.

Thank you for your continued support in upcoming elections,
The Ruling Class


26 posted on 07/13/2013 11:30:33 AM PDT by conservativeimage.com (I Won't Go Underground http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wema3CNqzvg)
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To: ReformationFan
Why any non-homosexual male of any race would want to attend any ECUSA "church" that has not already exited that denomination is beyond my understanding.

It's a ploy. To force mainstream Christian churches to allow LGBT's as pastors.

Whatever ammunition is used against them in this case will be returned when churches refuse to recognize minority males turned females as candidates for the priesthood.

27 posted on 07/13/2013 11:42:07 AM PDT by oldbrowser (We have a rogue government in Washington)
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To: ReformationFan

The frightening thing is that so many don’t assume this IS satire because it rings so true of many mainstream denominations now.


28 posted on 07/13/2013 11:42:39 AM PDT by Brian Kopp DPM
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To: ReformationFan

I think they don’t need a resolution, it’s pretty much the case already.


29 posted on 07/13/2013 11:46:40 AM PDT by kaehurowing
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To: allendale

are you commenting from the cult of catholicism?


30 posted on 07/13/2013 11:48:04 AM PDT by Bulwyf
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To: Jonty30

always thought it was Satans church anyway..


31 posted on 07/13/2013 11:50:22 AM PDT by Breto (Stranger in a strange land... where did America go?)
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To: jocon307
The Episcopal Church is attempting to embrace and encourage every sexual abnormality possible.

“Q” is for Questioning

“I” is for Intersex - someone who has both male and female sex organs.

When ECUSA rejected the Bible and allowed homosexuals to be Bishops, everyone I knew bailed. Now ECUSA lies about membership, is selling off assets, and is still exploring the boundaries of sexual perversion. Look for bestiality and child sex to follow.

32 posted on 07/13/2013 11:51:27 AM PDT by Gabrial (The nightmare will continue as long as the nightmare is in the Whitehouse)
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To: wideawake

That’s precisely the case.

Churches have always attracted rent-seekers of a certain type. In this case excess money and no outside feedback seems to have corrupted it completely. They can in fact run their scam for as long as they like, even if their congregations decline into triviality.

In the old days the Anglicans came close to this, being not answerable to their congregations or communities, but arguably were kept out of trouble as the local landowners had the authority to appoint local clergymen. Often abused for political reasons or to give ne’er do well younger sons something to do, but most often exercised responsibly. Kept the institution tied closely both to the people and the aristocracy.

This system broke down there, with the decline of the aristocracy, and the infection spread.

When other churches or religions suffer from corrupt episodes though, the “media” notices. A mafia living off the Episcopal corpse doesn’t seem to have attracted much notice.


33 posted on 07/13/2013 11:52:00 AM PDT by buwaya
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To: Polyxene

I guess you didn’t notice the words “humor” and “satire”.


34 posted on 07/13/2013 11:55:52 AM PDT by Mrs. Don-o ("If thou wilt enter into life, keep the commandments." Matthew 19:17)
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To: ReformationFan
OK. You didn’t get me this time. Unfortunately, it was a close call. I have to admit that for a few seconds I was actually entertaining the thought that this was on the level. It just goes to show how far we have plummeted. Five more years and this wont be satire.
35 posted on 07/13/2013 11:56:50 AM PDT by Desron13
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To: ReformationFan
Glasspool concurred. "The Episcopal Church needs white males to clean up the refreshments in the kitchen on Sunday morning after the service is over. Men can clean the pews and the elements and lick plates in case the water is turned off because of an unpaid water bill," said Glasspool, noting that a large number of churches bordered on extinction owing to the collapse of heterosexual marriages.

"If they show that they can do those things and stay out of church politics, there might just be a pathway to ordination if they behave themselves and subject themselves to women priests some of whom have strong sado-masochistic tendencies."

Glasspool added, they will also be required to:

1. Memorize, and be able to recite fully, the Vagina Monologues, one of the additional books to our bible.

2. Begin their conversion to the female gender within months, and carry around a Church ID card with a picture clearly depicting what their new Vagina will look like.

Strict guidelines will be applied, i.e., no bikini waxes/trims, etc. A full and natural Vagina hair patch will be required to be maintained at all times, along with equivalent armpit hair -- and inspections will be performed, to compare their Vagina ID to their newly acquired Vagina, on a schedule defined by their female bishop.

However, to show that we are more merciful than God, we will allow the men to comb their Vagina patch, parted down the middle -- but NO combovers, hair tinting, or spiked hair styles will be allowed!

3. All additional rules to be identified in the upcoming "Lesbian Women Aren't Going To Take Any More Guff From God!" conference next month in San Francisco, USA. It is a George Soros/Barak Obama sponsored event.

36 posted on 07/13/2013 11:57:48 AM PDT by Col Freeper (FR: A smorgasbord of Conservative Mindfood - dig in and enjoy it!)
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To: ReformationFan; All
Mary Glasspool: I have never heard such homophobia coming from a pulpit.

The gentleman wasn't simply volunteering his opinion about same-sex sexual relationships ma'am. The Holy Bible clearly condemns such relationships. In fact, Romans 1:22-27 indicates that such relationships are a consequence of idolatry, disobedience of the 1st Commandment.

37 posted on 07/13/2013 12:21:35 PM PDT by Amendment10
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To: Gabrial

Yeah, I’m sorry but they are really a mess. Thanks for explaining those QI things to me.


38 posted on 07/13/2013 12:42:17 PM PDT by jocon307
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To: ReformationFan

What the Episcopal Church has allowed itself to become, I sense will not go down well on the other side.


39 posted on 07/13/2013 12:49:33 PM PDT by onedoug
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To: allendale

King Henry VIII: the original host of “Queen For A Day”!

The best satire is that which skates closest to the unbelievable truth.

If the Episcofaggies aren’t saying it, they’re d@mn well thinking it.


40 posted on 07/13/2013 1:50:57 PM PDT by elcid1970 ("The Second Amendment is more important than Islam.")
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To: ReformationFan
Episcopal Church gays and lesbians are weighing a resolution to be put forward at the next General Convention making it illegal for straight white males to be admitted to the priesthood. LA Bishop Mary Glasspool, an avowed lesbian and one of many lesbians and gays supporting the "no white males resolution", crafted her resolution after hearing a straight white male preaching a sermon condemning homosexual behavior last month.

When I first read this I thought it had to either be from The Onion, or satire. Guess not.

I was raised in the Episcopalian church, but bowed out decades ago. They were creepy back then and their "all gay, all the time" agenda has only made them creepier.

Having set out on a path of self-destruction, their eventual demise will not be a surprise and they won't be missed. Back when I attended Episcopalian masses, they perverted God's word and now they're perverting it even more.

41 posted on 07/13/2013 1:51:04 PM PDT by DustyMoment (Congress - another name for the American politburo!!)
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To: ReformationFan

Is this satire? I can’t tell.

As for, LGBTQI, can we just add on the P already?


42 posted on 07/13/2013 2:00:42 PM PDT by ronnietherocket3
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To: ReformationFan

I always check the keywords.


43 posted on 07/13/2013 2:08:01 PM PDT by Tax-chick ("The human project is all about babies! Culture is all about babies!" ~ Cdl. Dolan)
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To: ReformationFan

Because they have pretty Windows and nice woodwork and can stage nice baptisms and funerals.


44 posted on 07/13/2013 2:19:34 PM PDT by PAR35
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To: gitmo

Yes, if you go to the original posting, it is label “a satirical essay.”

I am amazed by the number of commenters who jumped to the conclusion that the article is genuine.


45 posted on 07/13/2013 2:21:17 PM PDT by bagman
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To: ReformationFan

I thought this was a satire, but it’s true? I have heard a few homosexuals starting to say that their lifestyle is superior to the lifestyles of heterosexuals.


46 posted on 07/13/2013 2:24:11 PM PDT by MDLION ("Trust in the Lord with all your heart" -Proverbs 3:5)
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To: ReformationFan

Incredulous placemark.


47 posted on 07/13/2013 2:27:51 PM PDT by little jeremiah (Courage is not simply one of the virtues, but the form of every virtue at the testing point. CSLewis)
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To: ReformationFan
I have never heard such homophobia coming from a pulpit.

Unfortunately, she's probably right.

48 posted on 07/13/2013 2:29:56 PM PDT by St_Thomas_Aquinas ( Isaiah 22:22, Matthew 16:19, Revelation 3:7)
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To: bagman

Oh, satire. I prefer when it is clear it’s satire. Sort of a practical joke of the kind I always dislike.


49 posted on 07/13/2013 2:32:15 PM PDT by little jeremiah (Courage is not simply one of the virtues, but the form of every virtue at the testing point. CSLewis)
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To: ReformationFan

And the beauty of this piece is that, without noting keyword and topic tags you can’t really tell if it’s a joke or not.


50 posted on 07/13/2013 2:41:35 PM PDT by Lee N. Field ("You keep using that verse, but I do not think it means what you think it means." --I. Montoya)
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