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[SATIRE] Vatican: Priests can’t marry, but they can date
Larknews ^
Posted on 11/21/2013 4:31:08 PM PST by Gamecock
VATICAN CITY — In a surprise move, the Vatican announced late Thursday that while priests cannot marry, they can date.
“We invite priests to test the singles market, as long as they keep it above the neck and don’t make long-term commitments,” says a spokesman.
A dozen priest-dating sites with names like EverDating.com sprung up immediately, with tens of thousands of priests offering photos and descriptions of their likes and dislikes to potential paramours. Most offered a disclaimer that said they could develop a significant platonic relationship, but marriage was off limits.
“It’s completely natural for men and women to want to date, but marriage is strictly forbidden for the man of God,” says a Vatican spokesman.
TOPICS: Catholic; General Discusssion; Humor
KEYWORDS: calvinist; catholic; humor; joke; satire
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1
posted on
11/21/2013 4:31:08 PM PST
by
Gamecock
To: markomalley; Alex Murphy
2
posted on
11/21/2013 4:31:35 PM PST
by
Gamecock
(If you like your constitution, you can keep your constitution. Period. (M.S.))
3
posted on
11/21/2013 4:32:34 PM PST
by
Gamecock
(If you like your constitution, you can keep your constitution. Period. (M.S.))
To: Gamecock
I don’t believe this for one second!!! This is a LIE!!
4
posted on
11/21/2013 4:33:10 PM PST
by
Ann Archy
(Abortion......the Human Sacrifice to the god of Convenience.)
To: Ann Archy
IT IS NOT A LIE!
(why are you screaming?)
5
posted on
11/21/2013 4:33:56 PM PST
by
Gamecock
(If you like your constitution, you can keep your constitution. Period. (M.S.))
To: Gamecock; Alex Murphy
touché
6
posted on
11/21/2013 4:34:00 PM PST
by
markomalley
(Nothing emboldens the wicked so greatly as the lack of courage on the part of the good -- Leo XIII)
Comment #7 Removed by Moderator
Comment #8 Removed by Moderator
To: Ann Archy
No one has a sense of humor.
9
posted on
11/21/2013 4:37:30 PM PST
by
Gamecock
(If you like your constitution, you can keep your constitution. Period. (M.S.))
To: Gamecock
I doubt the Vatican would say anythng like that.
10
posted on
11/21/2013 4:37:59 PM PST
by
Georgia Girl 2
(The only purpose of a pistol is to fight your way back to the rifle you should never have dropped.)
Comment #11 Removed by Moderator
Comment #12 Removed by Moderator
To: Ann Archy; Gamecock
On one hand, I have to agree with you that it’s not the slightest bit funny. On the other hand, despite being from Gamecock, it’s probably not meant to be anti-Catholic. LarkNews’ authors apparently confuse satire with just saying untrue things. If Lark News was a math site, they’d probably run this story: 4+4=7
And they’d think they gave some sort of insight into Math, and they were real clever for having done so.
13
posted on
11/21/2013 4:39:26 PM PST
by
dangus
To: Ann Archy; Religion Moderator
Do you complain when I post Lark News articles aimed at Protestants? (BTW, this is the first time I have posted one about Roman Catholics)
14
posted on
11/21/2013 4:39:40 PM PST
by
Gamecock
(If you like your constitution, you can keep your constitution. Period. (M.S.))
To: Ann Archy
Precious bandwidth?
I happen to know there is significant bandwidth just laying around doing nothing.
15
posted on
11/21/2013 4:40:31 PM PST
by
driftdiver
(I could eat it raw, but why do that when I have a fire.)
To: Gamecock
So Priests cannot get married, and they can’t have sex, but they CAN date (women)?
Riiight... this is going to end well for the Catholic Church.
16
posted on
11/21/2013 4:40:39 PM PST
by
JSDude1
(Defeat Hagan, elect a Constutional Conservative: Dr. Greg Brannon!)
To: Gamecock
Humor? Satire?
That’s mistaken. Humor and satire are funny or make a point.
To: Venturer
So we are now sinking to personal attacks?
That’ll teach me!
18
posted on
11/21/2013 4:40:55 PM PST
by
Gamecock
(If you like your constitution, you can keep your constitution. Period. (M.S.))
To: Gamecock
Since most of their dates are nuns, if they both take vows of poverty, who buys?
To: Gamecock
you had to stick your hand in the hornets nest, huh.
20
posted on
11/21/2013 4:42:41 PM PST
by
dadfly
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