Posted on 11/22/2013 6:01:31 AM PST by Alex Murphy
MINOT, N.D. — Jack Crocker, a beer-loving machinist and “part-time Christian,” finally agreed to read Proverbs with wife Reanna. He’s glad he did.
“I’m a Proverbs 31 husband all right,” says Jack, then quotes Proverbs 31:6-7: “Give beer to those who are perishing, wine to those who are in anguish; let them drink and forget their poverty and remember their misery no more.”
“That’s my permission to crack open a cold one,” Jack says, having a Coors after dinner.
But Reanna, a new church member, is pushing Jack hard to stop drinking. She insists he is neither “perishing” nor “in anguish.” But Jack researched the Bible on the Internet and found 2 Corinthians 4:16 and 5:2 which say, “Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day,” and “Meanwhile we groan, longing to be clothed with our heavenly dwelling.”
“Everyone is perishing and in anguish,” Jack says. “Until we’re delivered from these bodies, the Bible says to drink up.”
As part of the escalating family tension he created a “Proverbs 31″ category on their weekly budget and listed “beer” under it. He also wants to start a Proverbs 31 Men’s Group with his buddies.
“We’re trying to find where the Bible talks about buffalo wings,” he says.
I’d say it describes Irish Catholics pretty well!
I don’t know of any passages about buffalo wings, but you could probably loosely interpret some fatten calf references for barbecue beef.
Sorry....no pulled pork. :O)
My cattle hate prods, too.
Bible for baseball fans: It starts with In The Big Inning
Bible for “Car Talk” fans: “It says God drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden...in his (Plymouth) Fury!”
And before I forget
God Created Beer Because He Loves Us And Wants Us To Be Happy—Benjamin Franklin
bump for later
At least Jack is smart enough to know that our bodies are bound for destruction regardless, not drinking beer wine or whiskey is not going to keep that from happening.
I wonder if Jack is the same man who went to the pastor and said his wife was considering a divorce because he spends too much money on beer while always complaining about how much she spends on makeup. The pastor asked why he was complaining about her purchases if he spent just as much. He said because that was what the beer was for.
Proverbs is clearly speaking about drunkenness, not alcohol. Same can be said about food. I go to a baptist church in KY. It is VERY teatotalling. I have a full bar in my house. I will have a single malt with a cigar with the occasional friend, but drunkenness is not permitted.
Regarding teatotalling, that is a Muslim/Mormon thing, not a Christian thing. There is a reason Christ’s first miracle was to turn water into wine at an event where they have already been “drinking it up”. First impressions matter.
And no, it wasn’t grape juice.
From Hebrew Scriptures:
6
Give strong drink unto him that is ready to perish, and wine unto the bitter in soul;
7
Let him drink, and forget his poverty, and remember his misery no more.
Things that make you go hmmmmm.
One has to realize this was written for Christians before cable tv and the internet. It is not a passage for Christians today. </sarc>
The OT isn’t for Christians?
I hear it all comes from the same horse.
The OT isn’t for Christians?
Proverbs is not about religious rules. It is about “things to do to live a better life”. One of those things would be to not hang around bad people. Another would be to not get drunk. They are very good advice.
I callit “Wisdom 101”, because the deeper wisdom is Ecclesiastes.
Here's 2 for Honda lovers. But with one Accord....I lay it down of my own Accord......
Coors is beer? Who knew?
This is going to be lost on the humor challenged.
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