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[Satire] Millions of Catholics Celebrating Advent Two Months Early
DFW Catholic ^ | November 18th, 2013 | Father John Hollowell

Posted on 11/22/2013 11:01:00 AM PST by Alex Murphy

Rome, Italy: Fr. Guiseppe Gnocchi, secretary of the Congregation for Divine Worship, today lamented a growing trend around the world – the premature celebration of Advent. “A not insignificant amount of Catholics are ignoring the Liturgical Calendar, and are instead celebrating Advent way in advance.” Margie Hopkins of Pittsburgh noted, “This year, I had my Advent wreath up a week before Halloween.”

Many Catholics are shirking the Church’s calendar because they are seeking more silence and introspection. Jay Johnson from Cheyenne shared that “4 weeks isn’t even close to the amount of time that I need to spiritually prepare for the birth of the King of Kings.” Johnson says he celebrates a 12 week Advent.

Companies are planning to capitalize on the trend. Walgreens has announced plans to sell electronic Advent wreaths starting July 5th. Lowe’s will also have an “Advent Wonderland” starting the day after Labor Day.


TOPICS: Catholic; Humor
KEYWORDS: satire
Rome, Italy: Fr. Guiseppe Gnocchi, secretary of the Congregation for Divine Worship, today lamented a growing trend around the world – the premature celebration of Advent....Companies are planning to capitalize on the trend. Walgreens has announced plans to sell electronic Advent wreaths starting July 5th. Lowe’s will also have an “Advent Wonderland” starting the day after Labor Day.
1 posted on 11/22/2013 11:01:01 AM PST by Alex Murphy
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To: All

If you can read, you've been warned.

2 posted on 11/22/2013 11:02:52 AM PST by Alex Murphy ("the defacto Leader of the FR Calvinist Protestant Brigades")
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To: Alex Murphy
I'm waiting for the Advent in June sales so I can prepare for Christmas in July shopping.
3 posted on 11/22/2013 11:07:00 AM PST by KarlInOhio (Everyone get online for Obamacare on 10/1. Overload the system and crash it hard!)
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To: Alex Murphy


MY CHRISTMAS LIGHTS

Dear Jesus, up and down the street they wonder why
I have Christmas lights burning in the month of July!
They say I’m a trashy redneck, fit for a trailer park
When I let those beautiful lights shine from dawn until dark!
But they don’t understand the reason those lights shine above
Is because You have given me Your everlasting love!

My Christmas lights are burning every day of the year
Because You took away all my doubt and my fear!
Every day’s Your birthday party and all day I celebrate
‘Cause You were born in my heart and removed the devil’s hate
From my heart that had been captive, so dark and so blue;
Yes Lord, I shine my Christmas lights — they’re up for You!

Dear Jesus, up and down the street they think it’s odd
When I keep that manger scene lit with the Son of God
Lying there in the straw in a lowly feeding trough;
They tell me that it’s summer time and I should turn it off!
But Jesus, in my heart You’re born each and every day
And you come so kind and humble, as You once were in the hay!

My Christmas lights are burning every day of the year
Because You took away all my doubt and my fear!
Every day’s Your birthday party and all day I celebrate
‘Cause You were born in my heart and removed the devil’s hate
From my heart that had been captive, so dark and so blue;
Yes Lord, I shine my Christmas lights — they’re up for You!

Dear Jesus, up and down the street I tell them the news
That when You’re born in their hearts, no one can accuse
That it is ever wrong to shine their lights and celebrate
How Jesus saved their souls before the time was too late
To accept Your love so wide and deep and high and so true —
Yes, all of them should keep their Christmas lights up for You!

My Christmas lights are burning every day of the year
Because You took away all my doubt and my fear!
Every day’s Your birthday party and all day I celebrate
‘Cause You were born in my heart and removed the devil’s hate
From my heart that had been captive, so dark and so blue;
Yes Lord, I shine my Christmas lights — they’re up for You!

HiTech RedNeck (2013)
These words may be freely shared as a poem under the Creative Commons License
with the requirement of attribution and exact copying (no modifications)
and the replication of this notice.


4 posted on 11/22/2013 11:10:08 AM PST by HiTech RedNeck (The Lion of Judah will roar again if you give him a big hug and a cheer and mean it. See my page.)
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To: KarlInOhio

This is really said. Companies/greed capitalizing on values. Christmas bacem holiday gift giving. Now Thanksgiving bcame Black Friday. And now Advent....

Teach your children good values. Stand up in your families, we can reverse the trend by standing up for our faith and values.


5 posted on 11/22/2013 11:11:43 AM PST by Armen Hareyan (drug shortages, healthcare)
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To: Armen Hareyan

People need more Christmas in this dark age. Not less.


6 posted on 11/22/2013 11:15:02 AM PST by HiTech RedNeck (The Lion of Judah will roar again if you give him a big hug and a cheer and mean it. See my page.)
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To: Alex Murphy

Nicely done!

I’m wishing everybody I see a Gay Kwanzaa.


7 posted on 11/22/2013 11:16:22 AM PST by nascarnation (Wish everyone see a "Gay Kwanzaa")
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To: Armen Hareyan

And the best value? Praising God. Some folks are so browned off that something eeeeeeeeevil might be coming along for the ride, they miss the good!


8 posted on 11/22/2013 11:16:43 AM PST by HiTech RedNeck (The Lion of Judah will roar again if you give him a big hug and a cheer and mean it. See my page.)
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To: Gamecock; markomalley
[Satire] Millions of Catholics Celebrating Advent Two Months Early

That didn't take nearly as long as I thought it would!

9 posted on 11/22/2013 11:20:36 AM PST by Alex Murphy ("the defacto Leader of the FR Calvinist Protestant Brigades")
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To: Alex Murphy

Now that’s MEAN... a Prottie taunting our Catholic friends! That would be like a Jewish person taunting Christians or something like that. About 99% confusion to 1% substantive theology.


10 posted on 11/22/2013 11:23:29 AM PST by HiTech RedNeck (The Lion of Judah will roar again if you give him a big hug and a cheer and mean it. See my page.)
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To: HiTech RedNeck
Now that’s MEAN... a Prottie taunting our Catholic friends! That would be like a Jewish person taunting Christians or something like that.

Are you saying that Catholics and Protestants aren't both Christians?

11 posted on 11/22/2013 11:25:59 AM PST by Alex Murphy ("the defacto Leader of the FR Calvinist Protestant Brigades")
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To: Alex Murphy

Go back to the Julian Calendar, like some of us Eastern Orthodox types and this won’t be a problem.

But you have to fast from all meat and dairy from just after Thanksgiving to January 7.


12 posted on 11/22/2013 11:35:23 AM PST by cizinec ("Brother, your best friend ain't your Momma, it's the Field Artillery.")
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To: Alex Murphy

Actually maybe what should be done is move Thanksgiving to October so stores can start their Christmas adverts earlier.


13 posted on 11/22/2013 11:54:00 AM PST by SkyDancer (Live your life in such a way that the Westboro church will want to picket your funeral.)
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To: HiTech RedNeck; Alex Murphy

I just put up my little CHRISTmas tree up at work. It plugs into a USB port on the computer. It’s beautiful.


14 posted on 11/22/2013 11:56:26 AM PST by HarleyD (...one of his disciples, whom Jesus loved.)
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To: HarleyD; Gamecock
I just put up my little CHRISTmas tree up at work. It plugs into a USB port on the computer. It’s beautiful.

Thanks for the reminder - I got a mini-strand of USB LED Christmas lights for free last year, when I bought a Best Buy gift card. Time to dig them out & decorate the computer!

15 posted on 11/22/2013 12:00:07 PM PST by Alex Murphy ("the defacto Leader of the FR Calvinist Protestant Brigades")
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To: HarleyD

That’s just what I need to add some color to my office! Where did you get it?


16 posted on 11/22/2013 12:02:30 PM PST by Gamecock (If you like your constitution, you can keep your constitution. Period. (M.S.))
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To: Gamecock

I got it from Target. They’re hard to find but they have several models.


17 posted on 11/22/2013 12:07:05 PM PST by HarleyD (...one of his disciples, whom Jesus loved.)
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To: Alex Murphy

Ooooooo...I’ll have to look for those. I have another USB slot. :O)


18 posted on 11/22/2013 12:08:39 PM PST by HarleyD (...one of his disciples, whom Jesus loved.)
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To: Alex Murphy

I don’t like this warning them in the title that it’s satire. It’s better for them just to read it and then we can laugh at them when they take it seriously and get mad in the thread.


19 posted on 11/22/2013 12:16:13 PM PST by Greetings_Puny_Humans (I mostly come out at night... mostly.)
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To: Greetings_Puny_Humans
I don’t like this warning them in the title that it’s satire. It’s better for them just to read it and then we can laugh at them when they take it seriously and get mad in the thread.

Wasn't my idea, and isn't my doing. Years ago, a Catholic poster took offense at an Amish satire and claimed that (and I quote) "Every post Alex Murphy makes ends up making FReepers look publicly stupid." Said poster insisted that I provide sufficient warnings on all humor threads, in advance, warning off readers that they're about to read something ficticious and humorous. I've always used the TOPICS line, above post #1, to indicate when a thread is a humor thread, but apparently this has been deemed insufficient. Someone else still worries that your posts are making you look stupid, and that you needed these warning labels to protect you from yourself.

20 posted on 11/22/2013 12:32:50 PM PST by Alex Murphy ("the defacto Leader of the FR Calvinist Protestant Brigades")
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To: Greetings_Puny_Humans

Just like Jesus would do. /s


21 posted on 11/22/2013 12:33:03 PM PST by OpusatFR
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To: Greetings_Puny_Humans; Religion Moderator

I agree. What is wrong with making people think before posting a knee jerk response? As conservatives we should be better than this, let the reader beware.

RM, how say you?


22 posted on 11/22/2013 1:39:20 PM PST by Gamecock (If you like your constitution, you can keep your constitution. Period. (M.S.))
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To: nascarnation

LOL


23 posted on 11/22/2013 1:58:07 PM PST by JSteff (It was ALL about SCOTUS.. We are DOOMED for several generations. . Who cares? The Dem's did & voted!)
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To: HarleyD

did you get that from meritline?


24 posted on 11/22/2013 2:00:23 PM PST by JSteff (It was ALL about SCOTUS.. We are DOOMED for several generations. . Who cares? The Dem's did & voted!)
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To: Gamecock
What is wrong with making people think before posting a knee jerk response?

Q: How many Democrats does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Two. One to go up on the ladder and change the bulbs, and another to go half-way up the ladder and hold the first person's knees, to prevent them from jerking.

25 posted on 11/22/2013 2:01:27 PM PST by Alex Murphy ("the defacto Leader of the FR Calvinist Protestant Brigades")
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To: Alex Murphy

Bwah.


26 posted on 11/22/2013 2:04:17 PM PST by RichInOC (2013-14 Tiber Swim Team)
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To: Gamecock; HarleyD; Alex Murphy
http://www.meritline.com/newsearch.aspx?SearchTerm=usb+christmas+tree

Merry Christmas from the Chinese child slave laborers.
27 posted on 11/22/2013 2:09:14 PM PST by JSteff (It was ALL about SCOTUS.. We are DOOMED for several generations. . Who cares? The Dem's did & voted!)
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To: JSteff
Actual link: http://www.meritline.com/newsearch.aspx?SearchTerm=usb+christmas+tree

or go to meritline.com and enter usb christmas tree in the search box
28 posted on 11/22/2013 2:14:05 PM PST by JSteff (It was ALL about SCOTUS.. We are DOOMED for several generations. . Who cares? The Dem's did & voted!)
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To: Gamecock; HarleyD; Alex Murphy
Actual link: http://www.meritline.com/newsearch.aspx?SearchTerm=usb+christmas+tree

or go to meritline.com and enter usb christmas tree in the search box

29 posted on 11/22/2013 2:21:55 PM PST by JSteff (It was ALL about SCOTUS.. We are DOOMED for several generations. . Who cares? The Dem's did & voted!)
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To: Alex Murphy

If they have put their trust in Christ to save their eternal lives, they are then Christians. There are Catholics and Protestants — by name only — who never have consented to do that.

So it isn’t as easy as asking “are Catholics Christians” or “are Protestants Christians.” The answer is a diaper. “Depends.”


30 posted on 11/22/2013 3:48:53 PM PST by HiTech RedNeck (The Lion of Judah will roar again if you give him a big hug and a cheer and mean it. See my page.)
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To: JSteff

And these child slave laborers aren’t totally stupid. They know that this Christmas stuff is about something. They will get curious. God will furnish them answers.

Worse than being an external slave is being a soul slave.


31 posted on 11/22/2013 3:50:43 PM PST by HiTech RedNeck (The Lion of Judah will roar again if you give him a big hug and a cheer and mean it. See my page.)
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To: JSteff; Gamecock; Alex Murphy

Those aren’t the same as my Christmas tree. However, it wouldn’t surprise me if my Christmas tree was made in China. Virtually everything is these days. Last year we bought some old fashion, hand-blown glass ornaments we thought were from Germany. Seems the German firm sold out to a firm in China and are now making them there. They just put their label on it.

We try to buy USA whenever we can but let’s get realistic. If you’re going to try to stay away from communist counties you’re going to be doing without half the items in your home and garage. Heck, you might as well sell your computer and TVs as many of them are made in China. Sony and Samsung just puts their names on them. These countries are the only ones that don’t have the stupid environmental laws or regulations. It’s just not working kids in sweat shops that is the reason why their economies are booming.


32 posted on 11/22/2013 6:20:00 PM PST by HarleyD (...one of his disciples, whom Jesus loved.)
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To: Gamecock; Greetings_Puny_Humans

Moderators do not have time or patience for baited flame wars and all the abuse reports that would go with them.


33 posted on 11/22/2013 7:54:18 PM PST by Religion Moderator
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