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Newly Revealed Catacomb Painting Undeniable Proof That Women Were Able To Raise Hands In Air...
Eye of the Tiber ^ | 11/23/2013

Posted on 11/23/2013 5:22:17 AM PST by markomalley

VATICAN (EotT) Newly restored frescoes from the Catacombs of Priscilla were unveiled by the Vatican on Tuesday, some of which reveal that women in early Christianity were able to lift their hands in the air.

This has led some to conclude that if a woman was able to lift her hands above her shoulders as the image suggests, then early Christians must have allowed women to become priests.

The Catacombs, which are located in the northern part of Rome, and are better known as the “Queen of the catacombs” features 4th century paintings from biblical scenes, one showing an image of a woman able to raise her arms above her shoulders, like a man.

For 48-year-old Desiree Gibson of New Haven, Connecticut, this raises the question, “If women are no different than men with regards to upper limb dexterity, then why can’t women become priests now?”

According to Fabrizio Bisconti, the superintendent of the Vatican’s Sacred Archaeology Commission, the woman on the picture “is indeed celebrating Eucharist.”

“I would not have believed it had I not seen it with my own eyes. The image is clearly one of a woman celebrating Mass. I feel so stupid. All these years we were led to believe that women have never been and can never become priests. But this image of the woman raising her hands just above her shoulders is undeniable proof that women were priests in the early Church.”


TOPICS: Catholic; Humor
KEYWORDS: satire

Full title: Newly Revealed Catacomb Painting Undeniable Proof That Women Were Able To Raise Hands In Air In Early Church

1 posted on 11/23/2013 5:22:17 AM PST by markomalley
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To: markomalley
“If women are no different than men with regards to upper limb dexterity, then why can’t women become priests now?”

Such deep complexity of analysis ....

2 posted on 11/23/2013 5:26:17 AM PST by Ken522
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To: Ken522
Such deep complexity of analysis ....

Sadly, non-satirical left-wing analysis is no deeper than that given in this satire.

3 posted on 11/23/2013 5:29:51 AM PST by markomalley (Nothing emboldens the wicked so greatly as the lack of courage on the part of the good -- Leo XIII)
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To: markomalley

Raise your hand if you’re Sure.
Body odor? No problem.


4 posted on 11/23/2013 5:30:56 AM PST by tumblindice (America's founding fathers: All armed conservatives.)
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To: markomalley

I don’t know about that, Mark.

I think the “hands in the air” position is the universal sign for “I don’t know what to do with you anymore! You never listen to me!”

It is also sign language for a child’s (usually a male child) destruction of an item in the house in lieu of “I’m going to killl you!”


5 posted on 11/23/2013 5:31:25 AM PST by OpusatFR
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To: markomalley

It clearly implies the the Queen of the Cats&Combs could fly. There’s even birds in the corners.


6 posted on 11/23/2013 5:32:19 AM PST by Hardraade (http://junipersec.wordpress.com/2013/10/04/nicolae-hussein-obama/)
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To: Hardraade
It clearly implies the the Queen of the Cats&Combs could fly. There’s even birds in the corners.

Soooo... if a woman can fly,... then she's a priest!

7 posted on 11/23/2013 5:46:13 AM PST by D Rider
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To: markomalley

8 posted on 11/23/2013 5:48:38 AM PST by Sir Francis Dashwood ("Arjuna, why have you have dropped your bow???")
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To: Hardraade; markomalley


9 posted on 11/23/2013 5:50:55 AM PST by shibumi (Cover it with gas and set it on fire.)
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To: markomalley

Maybe the had women referees back then!


10 posted on 11/23/2013 5:54:15 AM PST by Cowboy Bob (They are called "Liberals" because the word "parasite" was already taken.)
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To: markomalley
This has led some to conclude that if a woman was able to lift her hands above her shoulders as the image suggests, then early Christians must have allowed women to become priests.

Perhaps it is proof thast there were female football referees.

"Here's the kick. It's up...It's GOOD!"

11 posted on 11/23/2013 5:58:26 AM PST by Bloody Sam Roberts ("It does not take a majority to prevail, but rather an irate, tireless minority...")
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To: markomalley
I thought you had to be able to raise your arms above your shoulders, and have opposing thumbs (so you can give "Communion") in order to become a priest.

LMAO!!!!

8^D

12 posted on 11/23/2013 6:13:02 AM PST by Gargantua (I have NO idea what you're talking about, spunky! ;^)
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To: Cowboy Bob
I agree with your assessment. She is clearly signaling a Touch Down.
13 posted on 11/23/2013 6:16:25 AM PST by Conspiracy Guy (Did the ancients know they were ancients? Or did they see themselves as presents?)
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To: markomalley
But does she weigh the same as a duck?
14 posted on 11/23/2013 6:30:22 AM PST by CrazyIvan (Obama phones= Bread and circuits.)
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To: CrazyIvan
But does she weigh the same as a duck?

I'll bet they tried to make a bridge out of her.

15 posted on 11/23/2013 6:42:54 AM PST by rjsimmon (1-20-2013 The Tree of Liberty Thirsts)
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To: Conspiracy Guy

I think she’s signaling pass interference.


16 posted on 11/23/2013 6:45:25 AM PST by Thane_Banquo ( Walker 2016)
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To: OpusatFR

Seriously?!?! No one here recognizes Jazz Hands? C’mon people....


17 posted on 11/23/2013 6:46:32 AM PST by Hegewisch Dupa
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To: markomalley

That’s a woman?


18 posted on 11/23/2013 7:01:33 AM PST by JT Hatter (Who is Barack Obama? And What is He Really Up To?)
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To: JT Hatter

Clearly man hands.


19 posted on 11/23/2013 7:09:38 AM PST by txrefugee
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To: OpusatFR
It is also sign language for a child’s (usually a male child) destruction of an item in the house in lieu of “I’m going to kill you!”

When my children did this as toddlers, it usually meant, "Hold me, Mommy"

This sign is irresistible to grandparents.

20 posted on 11/23/2013 7:39:49 AM PST by sportutegrl (Go suck on a slurpee, Obama)
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To: markomalley

Maybe she just didn’t care!


21 posted on 11/23/2013 7:47:05 AM PST by jbwbubba
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To: markomalley

AH-ummm
She also has a priests scarf over her head....

Jesus taught that women were equals -

this was a threat to Jewish custom

this is why women had to be put back in their place - and they did this with Paul and Rome together by taking over the movement and rewriting the ‘rules’ - including making Mary M a whore - to hide her - and other womens - very real importance


22 posted on 11/23/2013 8:09:27 AM PST by maine-iac7 (Christian is as Christian does - by their fruits)
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To: Thane_Banquo

It could be a signal that the ball is 4 feet short of a first down.


23 posted on 11/23/2013 8:11:58 AM PST by Conspiracy Guy (Did the ancients know they were ancients? Or did they see themselves as presents?)
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To: sportutegrl

I had three sons and a nephew staying with us. The hand and arm position shown was my default.

I also added a head slap to my forehead the day my nephew cleaned the marble sink in the bathroom with EasyOff Oven cleaner.


24 posted on 11/23/2013 8:12:44 AM PST by OpusatFR
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To: markomalley

Thanks for pointing out the satirical content. I was going to comment that this was the dumbest thing I had read this month. It’s not. It’s just not very funny.


25 posted on 11/23/2013 8:14:56 AM PST by FXRP
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To: markomalley

Meh. She was probably just really into the latest worship chorus by Mattias Rubeus Hominis.


26 posted on 11/23/2013 8:23:27 AM PST by RansomOttawa (tm)
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To: markomalley

"She" appears to be wearing the shawl of a jewish rabbi saying blessings?

IMHO,

The head shawl sashes come straight down- "she" ain`t got no tits!

It`s a man.?

And "she" has no girdle belt that all Roman women wore then below the bodice.

It`s a man.

The footwear doesn`t match neither.

Coz they never showed the woman`s ankles n but men`s ankles, yes viz:


27 posted on 11/23/2013 8:26:15 AM PST by bunkerhill7 ("The Second Amendment has no limits on firepower"-Nhttp://capY State Senator Kathleen A. Marchione.")
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To: OpusatFR

She’s indicating how big the fish was that got away.


28 posted on 11/23/2013 9:42:46 AM PST by Alex Murphy ("the defacto Leader of the FR Calvinist Protestant Brigades")
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To: markomalley

Something about this reminds me of......
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/08/24/world/europe/botched-restoration-of-ecce-homo-fresco-shocks-spain.html?_r=0


29 posted on 11/23/2013 8:25:05 PM PST by Pete from Shawnee Mission
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To: markomalley

Catacomb Hockey Goalies!


30 posted on 11/23/2013 8:27:56 PM PST by Cvengr (Adversity in life and death is inevitable. Thru faith in Christ, stress is optional.)
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